As opposed to last year, when the Teen Choice Awards spread the wealth among a bunch of olds (Fergie, Timbaland), this year’s slate of music-related winners was highly concentrated. By which I mean that if a nominee in one of the Fox-produced event’s music categories wasn’t associated with the Jonas Brothers, Miley Cyrus, or Chris Brown, it didn’t stand a chance of emerging from the evening with a surfboard. (But hey, at least this resulted in good news for Lil Mama.) Music winners after the jump.
_ Choice Music Single: Jonas Brothers, “When You Look Me in the Eyes.”
_ Choice Hook-Up: Jordin Sparks and Chris Brown, “No Air.”
_ Choice Music Male Artist: Chris Brown.
_ Choice Music Female Artist: Miley Cyrus.
_ Choice Music R&B Artist: Chris Brown.
_ Choice Breakout Group: Jonas Brothers.
_ Choice Music Love Song: Jonas Brothers, “When You Look Me in the Eyes.”
_ Choice Music R&B Track: Chris Brown, “Forever.”
_ Choice Music Rap/Hip-Hop Track: Lil Mama featuring T-Pain and Chris Brown, “Shawty Get Loose.”
_ Choice Summer Song: Jonas Brothers, “Burnin’ Up.”
The Jonas Brothers also won “Choice Male Hottie” and “Choice Red Carpet Fashion Icon Male” as a single entity, which is something of a neat trick that I’m sure will serve as some sort of impetus for their inevitable breakdown/breakup. Other music-related winners in non-music related categories, all of whom have something to do with some sort of music-related TV show during some point in their career:
_ Choice TV Show Comedy: “Hannah Montana.”
_ Choice TV Reality Music Competition: “American Idol.”
_ Choice TV Actress Comedy: Miley Cyrus, “Hannah Montana.”
_ Choice TV Male Reality/Variety Star: David Cook, “American Idol.”
_ Choice Male Hottie: Jonas Brothers.
_ Choice Female Hottie: Vanessa Hudgens.
_ Choice Red Carpet Fashion Icon Female: Carrie Underwood.
_ Choice Red Carpet Fashion Icon Male: Jonas Brothers.
_ Choice Most Fanatic Fans: David Archuleta.
R. Kelly did not win any awards, because well, he doesn’t give teen’s a choice.
SNAPS!
I just can’t wait for the JBs’ “Behind the Music.” Anyone with me?
And here I was wondering where the monoculture went.
@natepatrin: But is it a monoculture or a self-selected slice of a larger pie that’s made itself known by incessant Internet chatter?
OH MY GOD THE PARALLELS
Hannah M was a running theme of yesterday’s birthday party for a friend’s young daughter. Not for nothing, I think, was a pinata chosen with her image on it.
@natepatrin: Please. Underneath it all, those boys are probably fringier than 90% of people involved in the cooler scenes. Pentecostals don’t mess around.
@Nunya B: I have to agree…by my estimation, there are probably only about 2 hours of each day where no one is already filming them and broad or microcasting it somewhere…but I am sure those are some good hours.
@ObtuseIntolerant: Dude they are crazy Jesus freaks underneath it all. The “college” (non-accredited) their dad went to is SUPER conservative
…AND THEY TALK IN TONGUES
are the teen choice awards actually surfboards? that’s an awesome idea.