USA Today‘s salute to the 50th birthdays of Michael Jackson, Madonna, and Prince was written pretty reverently, but it’ll likely be met with a frosty reception by the Material Girl, who’s reportedly been telling anyone within earshot that she’s actually 36, thanks to the power of Kabbalistic math. I’d think that this age discrepancy would result in her birthday being on a different day of the year, but nope, she’s still planning on having a big blowout in honor of her natal anniversary, which is tomorrow. Someone should try and sneak in the party favors in this post’s picture as a “gag.” [Mirror / USA Today]