From time to time, we like to round up the all-important, all-summarizing last sentences of the biggest new-music reviews. Today, we’re going to switch things up a bit and look at the notices given to the Fred Durst-directed The Longshots, which features Ice Cube as the doting uncle of a female football prodigy and which comes out today.
• “Worth mentioning is that the movie was directed by the Limp Bizkit frontman Fred Durst. ‘Dude, give me some of that Hollywood magic music,’ one imagines this hard-core rocker, in his capacity as cheesy family-film hack, saying to his (uncredited) composer. ‘Nah, man, a little more sentimental and sparkly. That’s it! Now put it everywhere, man. Awesome. Work it out, dude, I’m going to lunch.’ ” [NYT]
• “Limp Bizkit frontman Fred Durst, who made his directorial debut with 2007’s little-seen The Education of Charlie Banks, brings a workmanlike efficiency to The Longshots but not much style, apart from a few sequences in which he wanders away from the action to explore Minden’s ragged brick streets and crumbling buildings. And even those shots seem obligatory and lacking in inspiration. It’s almost always rewarding to watch an underdog triumph–what else could explain why movies exactly like this keep being made?–but Longshots is one underdog that’s hard to love and harder still to champion.” [Chicago Tribune]
• “Saddled with such a predictable plot and script, Limp Bizkit frontman Fred Durst, moonlighting as movie director, delivers a mildly diverting tale. But because The Longshots never escapes the sense of being too contrived, it never really gets the crowd on its feet.” [Toronto Star]
• “Former Limp Bizkit frontman Fred Durst directs in a surprisingly dull fashion, and most of the characters, including Jasmine’s mother and father, are numbingly one-dimensional. However, the saga is an undeniably heartwarming one about perseverance, hard work, and pride in community. And who could criticize that?” [USA Today]
• “Fred Durst, from the group Limp Bizkit, directs with the unsophisticated simplicity that the story requires. And in a time when so many movies throw in so much casual profanity, it’s heartening to see one where the characters, even in the most cathartic stressful moments, are able to express themselves honestly and forcefully without cursing. That attitude earns The Longshots a solid recommendation for all audiences.” [WP]
[Thanks to Radar for the reminder that this was coming out]
…Former Limp Bizkit frontman Fred Durst directs in a surprisingly dull fashion, and most of the characters, including Jasmine’s mother and father, are numbingly one-dimensional…
The direction is “surprisingly dull”? The characters are “numbingly one-dimensional”?
Does USAT’s movie reviewer know who Fred Durst is?
@Rob Murphy: Nice.
I wonder how much nookie he received for this.
“obligatory and lacking in inspiration”
No surprise there.
Nathan Lee is my new hero at the Times. Am pleasantly surprised he wrote something that bloggy and snarky and the editors ran it intact.
Hey, did you hear that the guy from Limp Bizkit directed Ice Cube’s new movie?
Yeah, Fred Durst might be a competant director, but you guys should see Wes Borland’s movie. It’s crazy, man.
HA HA. STUPID FISH. WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO? DODGE THE BULLETS? YEAH RIGHT!
As a black man surrounded by family members who have made him sit through way too many Tyler Perry/”Hmm hmm sistah girl”/uplifting tales in Black cienma I just want to say that for the year 2-double-0-nine, I hope the lead actress in this film gets to break out and try something different. She’s pretty much played the same character in Madea’s Family Reunion, Akeelah and the Bee, and now this. -SIGH- Why do I know all this? WHY?
@Dead Air ummm Dead Air:
That’s obviously where you and Fred’s mom disagree.
(This is obviously just a cheap ploy designed to get Fred Durst’s mom’s thoughts on the movie’s reviews)
@Al Shipley: Pardon me when I steal this bit of brilliance.
@Tauwan: Because you are a nice person. Represent, don’t apologize. Isn’t Disney pushing her to putout some albums? Hasn’t been working out so far…
I’ve seen it, and it’s nothing less than Durst’s finest work since the “Break Stuff” video.
I was already going to hate this movie because its the further kiddie-ization (yeah I couldn’t think of a better word so I made one up) of a gangsta rapper with his like 7th kids film, but Fred frigging Durst is directing it? The man who’s only redeemable quality is that he discovered She Wants Revenge (which is still a band that’s mediocre at best)? Ugh.
Waitwaitwait, Limp Bizkit broke up? That’s at least one good thing if USA Today is to be believed.
I also hate Durst because he hates Placebo and he WILL gatecrash concerts to tell people how much he hates them.
I’m just happy that he’s holding back on the profanity!
Well Fred Durst used to be in a coverband, I believe the name was Limp Bizkit or something like that :)
@ DocStrange……
Boo frekin hoo that he hates Placebo, cry me a river, and so sorry to disappoint ya but they haven’t “broken up”. All you are is just another one of many people who conformed long ago that to hate anything that has to do with Limp Bizkit was cool. That goes to Kodiak as well, people need to grow up already.