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Those of you who have been following the run-up to Sunday’s Video Music Awards as closely as I not only have my sympathies, you have confirmation of your suspicions: Britney Spears, she of last year’s botched show opener and this year’s elephantine teaser ads, will once again appear in the telecast-opening bit, although everyone involved is going to really great pains to say that this won’t be a performance, but rather a chance for her to “say hi to [her] fans” (her words) and supply the telecast with yet another “opening not to be missed” (MTV’s words) in a year when the noxious “starpower” of Katy Perry and Nicole Scherzinger just isn’t cutting it as far as mainstream turn-the-dial appeal goes (my words). I swear, if this whole thing is a ruse for her to show up and make out with Perry without saying anything else, I just give up.
Britney’s Going To Be On The VMA Telecast! Everybody Act Surprised!
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I hope she deflowers The Jonas Brothers onstage. That would rule.
You know what would be fun (or a way to pass the time). A list of performers who have performed at the VMAs that now are either nowhere to be found or just completely out of the mainstream:
Live
The Vines
Wallflowers
Hootie & The Blowfish
Thanks to TMZ’s upskirt photos, I don’t think Britney’s “opening” is in any danger of being missed. ZING!