Idolator
Crammed in near the comics and horoscopes today is a plea to the syndicated advice columnist Ask Amy from a reader who calls herself "Hearing Mediocre Music." HMM writes that she's recently started dating a musician, and she's crazy about him; she's swooning so hard for him that she starts hearing silly love songs whenever he's around. Which is probably for the best, since when she hears her beau's music, she's not all that thrilled! "The problem," Hearing writes, "is that I'm not crazy about his music. It's not bad; it's just not very original." Not original? Who does HMM think she is, a critic?
Actually...
I was a music major in college, and I've done freelance music reviews, so I've got a sort of built-in music snobbery that has very little to do with taste and more to do with being able to analyze song structure, harmonic structure and melody more than most people who haven't studied music.
On the whole, his songs are pleasant, but it's hard to silence that music-critic voice in my head that says: "OK, you've played those two chords enough now. How about trying something different?"
Of course I haven't given him anything but positive feedback, and everything else is going so well.
Should I just silence my inner critic and not worry about it, or is this a red flag that it's a bad match?
Hmm, HMM! Well, at the very least, not being original will probably get him in good with the music blogs, right? Before I pontificate any further, let's see what the "professional" says.
Amy says: One joy of being in a relationship is that you can play your two chords over and over, and the person you're with won't analyze your song structure too harshly.
I want you to have a conference with your inner music critic — and tell her to put a sock in it.
Think of it this way — how would you like it if your squeeze showed up at your workplace and offered a critique of your methodology and practice?
If your guy solicits your opinion of his music, then offer it, but start by saying something positive.
Ahh, the old "sandwich" technique. (Also, at the very least, Amy, you could have said that the inner music critic should "turn down her amp." Jeez, don't these syndicates have editors?) Anyway, I'd actually change Amy's advice to say "maybe it's time you sat your boyfriend down and told him that one thing you've always wanted to do is put your music-theory training to practical use with someone you love, thus allowing you to subtly show him how to innovate and both of you to have a fantastic bio for your one-sheet." But maybe I'm wrong! Let's all put on our agony-aunt hats and help HMM, if not with her predicament, then at least with her chosen pen name.
Inner music critic needs to take a rest [Star Tribune]
[Pic via David And Goliath Tees]
Comments
Amy says: One joy of being in a relationship is that you can play your two chords over and over, and the person you're with won't analyze your song structure too harshly.
this is pretty terrible advice. be in a relationship so you don't have to worry about either one of you doing any of that foolish "growing" or "communicating" stuff. good lord.
Better advice: avoid dating musicians like the fucking plague.
@NeverEnough: Or critics. (This might be self-defeating advice.)
DTMF. I've personally torpedoed things over less (sometimes not meaning to).
Well we can rule out Natalie Portman as the author of that letter.
If by original, we mean "weird and annoying."
@dog door: Unsolicited criticism of someone's band has little to do with "growing" or "communicating." He's willing to play his crappy crap for others, so clearly he likes it or is at least confident in it. So it looks like it falls more into style than personal growth. She doesn't even need to like his band, from where I'm sitting. Yoko should start her own band. I'm not anti-criticism in the slightest (look at my comment history), but that's sort of lame.
All that said, why would anyone date a musician in the first place?
People. PEOPLE!
This is obviously a blind item. START GUESSING!
Weird Al Yankovic?
It looks like one of the dudes in The Hold Steady has a new girlfriend.
Why doesn't she put her fancy music degree to use and teach him a third chord?
Also, lighten up. I go to a school with a substantial music program, and have met plenty of music majors who don't except the same level of stucture you'd find in a classically written peice when some dude is stumming his guitar. Because, well, expecting that is ridiculous.
Perhaps she would be more musically satisified if she started dating someone from Dream Theater on the side...
@janine: she doesn't need to offer unsolicitied criticism of his band, of course, nobody said that. but assuming she's not full of shit and does know something about music, wouldn't when he asks her for her opinion, wouldn't that be a nice jump-off point for an honest discussion about art and what they each hope to get out of it? as opposed to just saying, yeah, yeah, cool, i like it, seems like everyone's having fun. nobody's telling her to be a hater.
@righteousmaelstrom: i love the hold steady, but this is still made me lol.
Buy him some drums.
This cuts both ways; if you're a musician, should you care about what your s.o. thinks of your music? Personally, I think it'd be nice if they can find at least a couple songs to enjoy, but you can't really over-analyze what other people want to hear, especially people you know, when you're trying to create your own music. Plus, having them not give a damn about your music would take away the cheesy "groupie" connotations of the relationship.
Two chords is one too many.
This relationship is not going to last.
It's pretty hard to date someone when you don't respect their work. (Or maybe that's just me?) She's going to go crazy eventually.
@Al Shipley: In a former life I was an amateur musician. My girlfriends generally could not stand my music, and most of them only made half hearted attempts to be nice about it. Didn't stop me, because it's something I loved doing (and still do on the rare occasion that I have time). If you're going to restrict your dating pool to people who love what you create in your hobby (or if you manage to make a living as a musician: your job) then that's awfully limiting.
@dog door: Whoa, who said anything about art here? I thought we were talking about music? :)
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