Idolator
From time to time, we like to round up the all-important, all-summarizing last sentences of the biggest new-music reviews. After the jump, we look at other publications' reactions to last night's Video Music Awards, the "meh"-ness of which we are still trying to process.
• "Britney bombs a year ago (although that opening was infinitely more entertaining than the one she did this time) and gets rewarded for it. Hooray for her. But you know what? MTV is just as far up its own ass as any pop star if it thinks that giving out three meaningless statues to Britney Spears constitutes a comeback for her. You all deserve each other." [fourfour]
• "Looking in the past is something MTV never did well. Even when the present doesn't look so good." [Hartford Courant]
• "Of course not everyone who doesn't wear a promise ring is slutty. And that's the problem with the current culture wars: When it comes to rhetoric, there's no middle ground. Either you're a slut or a hopeless prude, and I'd venture to say that most people fall healthily in between. But choice of wording aside, I'm still mightily impressed with Jordin for standing up to the sex-sells music establishment. She's not your typical pop starlet, and I love her for it." [Boston Globe]
• "I'm pretty curious to see how this all translates to television, but from where I'm sitting it was...something. Thanks for hanging out with me, and sorry for the unexpected interruption. Now I'm gonna go drink myself into a stupor and try to take The Jonas Brothers' virginity. Good night!" [Best Week Ever]
• [Something I didn't get to because the VMA wrapup was a 20-page gallery. Guys, I know the importance of maximizing your clickthroughs—and your "turn everything into a gallery" strategy is sort of working right now—but sooner or later, your piss-poor information design is going to bite you in the ass.] [LAT]
Comments
It was a rather MEH show. And sorry about breaking the board, Maura...
PS Did you lay eyes on a Jonas Brother?
@NeverEnough: no :(
@Maura Johnston: What about hands? Grabby hands?
Did anyone in the theatre watching Christina Aguilera's "performance" mock her for pulling out a second-rate Goldfrapp-circa-05-by-way-of-Rachel-Stevens performance while dressed like a even sluttier Lady GaGa?
@Maura Johnston: Perhaps it's for the better. They might have a Medusa-like effect; gazing directly into their big, innocent brown eyes might cause your vulva to erupt. It would mine, I suspect. Who else did you see?
I have no idea why the Boston Globe's writer is so impressed that Jordin Sparks has the guts to act like a catty girl in the cafeteria. It wasn't "a bold defense of teenage chastity" but the oldest low insult in the book.
Although I suppose the writer gets some points for not totally backpedaling after the commenters called her out on it.
@Nunya B: You and I were on the same page -- the minute Xtina finished the "Genie" redo and started the new song, "OMG Goldfrapp!!!" popped into my head. Guess we know what she's been listening to since '05.
Gee, nice of the site to show me the other comments.
I must have missed something culturally-momentous recently. On CBS' The Early Show this morning, their report on the VMAs was provided by a "Special Correspondent" named "Lo Bosworth". Sadly, I am not making this up.
@Rob Murphy: SYNERGY
I saw a lot of hateful people on the red carpet. Joe Francis! Perez Hilton! However, I did get to chat with a few nice people, like Panic at the Disco and Paramore and The Cab and David Banner (I asked him when he'd be running for office and he punted).
It looked on TV like Brand absolutely bombed with the opening monologue, which seemed to be confirmed by the next presenter, Jamie Foxx, repeatedly exhorting the audience to "wake up."
Did it seem that way in person?
@Audif Jackson Winters III: I don't know. I didn't rate a ticket to the show itself.
@Audif Jackson Winters III:Jamie Foxx became an important part of the MTV Remote Productions family circa 1998-2001, and while he's not my favorite person in the world, he's certainly more energetic than many of MTV's current "personalities".
MTV has become so much like Ziggy Stardust himself, making love with it's ego, getting sucked up into its mind. Now if the kids would only kill the man so we could break up the band, I'd like to see an entire creative department at a network finally lose their jobs for running out of ideas.
@Poubelle: I think she was right, and I agree with the writer. Haven't you ever gone to far in sticking up for your friends or say...commenting on the Internet?
As far as I was concerned, she was flipping MTV the bird...on their own show. It was gutsy and I thought commendable.
@ObtuseIntolerant: Well, yeah, but "random blog commenter" isn't even close to the level of being on the VMAs.
Jordin Sparks honestly reminded me of the time at the Oscars when Sean Penn felt he had to defend Jude Law from jokes about many movies he'd been in. It was humorless as much as gutsy (and considering that teenpop is currently dominated by Disney's squeaky-clean popsters, including the ring-wearing Jonases, and that Sparks got her start on a show that last season, had contestants singing "Shout to the Lord" and voted one off for doing Jesus Christ Superstar, it didn't even seem that gutsy).
@Poubelle: Yeah but what she was defending wasn't just the result of humorlessness (though I dare say it's hard to have a sense of humor when a comedian isn't being funny 90% of the time)...it was also the feeling that that whole group of Disney-sanctioned kids were lured in for the ratings they promise, with no intention of giving them even that fakiest of fake awards...just bitchslapping them with their supposed lameness. They deserved to be slapped back.
My sister put it best when Russell Brand acted contrite (which made it so much more awkward) as if he was offended by her inferring he was a slut: "It's as if he feels she has no right to get on her high horse and make fun of him for the sexual choices he ma...oh,right." ;)
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