Joe Simpson Signs To EMI Records, Prepares To Unleash An-Ya On Ya

wenn1122239.jpg Papa Joe Simpson, last seen attempting to hawk pictures of Ashlee’s pregnant belly (a new kind of lovely lady lump for pops), has signed a sales and distribution deal with EMI Records, ak.a. the guys who are banking it all on Coldplay’s Viva La Vida. What does this mean for you, the music lover? Well, not only will Ryan Cabrera’s next album have a promotional budget, we might be introduced to Russian pop singer and latest Papa Joe signee An-Ya in a big way. Want a sneak preview? Please enjoy “Catch Me,” a tribute to drag racing, “Toxic,” frenetic chest thrusts, and the female ass.

Fans of J. Lo’s Rich Harrison era could possibly get a kick out of “Hey,” which features An-Ya humping the dirt outside of a ranch and pouring a water bottle over herself in slo-mo while someone plays the saxophone. Way to get right!

Can Papa Joe and An-Ya turn the tide away from Annie Leibovitz and bring back post-pubescent video sexploitation? We can only hope.

EMI Music and Papa Joe Records announce distribution partnership [EMI Group]
An-Ya - Catch Me

Categories:
Uncategorized

4 Responses to “Joe Simpson Signs To EMI Records, Prepares To Unleash An-Ya On Ya”

  1. by Ned Raggett at 3:35 am

    not only will Ryan Cabrera’s next album have a promotional budget

    Roffle

  2. by Clevertrousers at 4:18 am

    The interwebs aren’t killing the music biz. Joe Simpson is.

  3. by cassidy2099 at 6:29 am

    Those videos have that wonderful foreign charm of an artist and director clearly in love with the idea of “America” but doesn’t realize the incongruous nature of a booty love anthem performed in a pole barn. Also, clearly singing phonetically. “Ladies and gentlemen, let me tell you somethin’…”

  4. by unperson at 6:56 am

    I would definitely buy (okay, download) this album…if it was sung in Japanese.

Leave a Comment