50 Cent Returns To The Club, Scott Storch In Tow Beyonce Wears The Pants Around Here

Having taken on file-sharing in a previous issue, the world of Archie is now going to take on an even bigger musical scourge for the 250th issue of Archie Digest: “Betty and Veronica leave Riverdale to visit Beverly Hills and end up shopping with pop star ‘Jessica Simmers,’ who’s modeled after Jessica Simpson.” It’s unknown if the gang winds up discussing the politics of the Iraq War, but the girls are scandalized by “sushi and tofu dog vendor carts on Rodeo Drive,” I guess because there’s no Whole Foods within driving distance of Pop’s. [Page Six]

 
By Maura at 10:30 AM on Wed Oct 8 2008
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  • Dead Air ummm Dead Air

    This Jessica Simmers better not break up the Archies, like a certain hussy did to 98 Degrees....

  • Rob Murphy

    Any word on whether Betty, Veronica and Jessica will catch a show by Josie & The Pussycats? Or maybe even the Pussycat Dolls?

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