Vanity Fair is celebrating its 25th anniversary at present, and as is custom in 2008, they’ve decided to honor their legacy by foisting a bunch of arbitrary “best of” lists onto the public. Instead of the Top 25 Songs Listing Reasons That Graydon Carter Is The Most Important Man In New York, VF throws a curveball and brings us 25 “best” songs hand-picked by the magazine’s editors. Said songs are supposedly the defining tracks of… well, of the Vanity Fair demographic, who must only consume culture that was made between the Berlin Olympics and the introduction of the compact disc. The most recent entry, sole song from the ’80s, and lone hip-hop candidate is Grandmaster Flash’s “The Message” (1982); Elvises Costello and Presley are represented, as are the Beatles, the Beach Boys, the Stones, and Sinatra. (Not even VF fave Madonna made it in there.) Pretty much if you thought about any song you’d ever heard in a commercial for airlines, baby-boomer retirement plans, or expensive cars, you could cobble together the list, or an approximation of it.
Earlier today I was going to post a link to the VF list with a snide link along the lines of “The One Worst List Of Best Songs Ever,” but then fate and/or Axl Rose intervened. But I was reminded of it just now while perusing the set list for Rock Of Ages, the butt-rock jukebox musical starring known chest-hair blowdrier and former American Idol hopeful Constantine Maroulis. It has “The Final Countdown” and “Oh Sherrie” and “More Than Words”; it is pretty much the exact antithesis of the VF list, blatantly honest as opposed to the cocktail-party equivocating of “good” that no doubt went on at 4 Times Square in the runup to this issue. Am I being too hard on poor old Graydon? I leave it to you, the reader, to decide.
As Idolator guest Eric Harvey pointed out, “the first one is all ‘nothing’s good after 1982′ and the second one is “nothing’s good except 1982,’ ” so I guess your vote depends on which side of that particular debate you’re on. Guess what I voted for?
25 Best Songs [Vanity Fair]
Set List [Rock Of Ages Off Broadway]
Oh Sherrie [YouTube]
Guess what I voted for? Hint: I did it just to be a contrary jackass.
I voted for the Rock of Ages set list, but I’m thinking only of the Constantine Maroulis interpretation of those songs. The guy could sing the phone book and it’d be awesome. You heard me.
as someone born after 1982, i think they both suck
@Chris N.: I wouldn’t have it any other way!
I’m absolutely putting the Rock of Ages playlist together on iTunes when I get home.
Sorry to vote with the Boomers, but you’re asking me to look past the inclusion of Starship, which is now stuck in my HEAD! Aargh!!! MAKE IT STOP!
Also, the VF list charmed me by the inclusion of the unorthodox Beatles selection “Day Tripper.”
The Vanity Fair list is obvious and lazy, and yeah, snobbish. But the Rock of Ages list is white suburban hell. I mean, at least the Vanity Fair list has some black people on it. Almost half, in fact. And what exactly makes the Rock of Ages list “blatantly honest”? To what, Constantine’s bad taste?
The Rock of Ages list looks like the playlist of any local karaoke night.
ROCK OF AGES!!! I simply cannot fight this feeling anymore.
In fact, I think I’ve forgotten what I started fightin for.
This show is pure fun!!
Whoa, whoa, whoa. No Three Dog Night?
@The Illiterate: Is it even that snobbish? Is it even that lazy? I’d argue that at least they looked around at something greater than a gas station compilation cassette. Sure, Maura, the VF list has been done before, but I see nothing “honest” about Rock of Ages at all. In fact, it’s the one that seems to be marketing a style and a sound that really didn’t exist except with the Camaro drivers of the world in 1989 or so.
Thought I was voting for the worst, so clicked VF.
There are few songs less representative of VF than The Message. The rest are the most obvious, movie trailer/advertisement burned out songs by great artists. That is as a long subscriber to VF, sorry I love the stories of old hollywood/high society/eurotrash scandals.
I have to give my support to Constantine, only because he works with Jim Boggia, one of the greatest singer/songwriters of all time.
Man, there is no contest. The VF list is a bit predictable and makes me sleepier than the last Presidential debate. Rock of Ages is cheesy 80’s music at its absolute best! And knowing Constantine is singing some of these songs in the show makes the list even more enticing. The man can sing ANYTHING better than the original. I need to get to NYC to see this show.
I’m riding with Constantine. If each of these lists was a house party, you’re sure to have way more fun at his joint. Everyone would be drunk, happy and singing along. Inevitably, some drunk hottie and his/her roommate would just luuuuv your version of REO Speedwagon during karaoke hour, and you’d end up in a most excellent threeway with them at the end of the night.
The next morning, you’d all go IHOP for breakfast, and it wouldn’t be awkward at all. You could totally laugh about it, exchange numbers, and promise to get together real soon. Of course you’d never see them again, but memories last forever…
I was hoping for “both lists suck” or even better “all such lists are entirely subjective and thus meaningless”. In the absence of those choices I chose the less crap-filled one.
@The Illiterate: It’s honest in that it’s a group of songs that a person with a specific taste in music would actually listen to, instead of being a group of songs that was clearly picked so as to not offend anyone’s delicate sensibilities.
@Lucas Jensen: I did not drive a Camaro in 1989!
Also I mean it’s Vanity Flipping Fair. Why did it limit the selection of songs to before it even started publishing 25 years ago? Fear of offending the celebrities it services in its magazine? Was Bono really gonna call up Graydon Carter and get mad at him for not making the list?
It’s just more boomer-exceptionalist bullshit put forth by a publication that’s increasingly enamored with itself despite having fewer and fewer actual reasons to be as high and mighty every month.
The Rock Of Ages list wins because it serves some purpose (dubious as that purpose is). The VF list loses because, even though the individual choices on the list are hard to argue with, the list as a whole serves no purpose.
@Maura Johnston: it’s Vanity Flipping Fair. Why did it limit the selection of songs to before it even started publishing 25 years ago?
Maybe VF thinks it has new music covered by issuing the hideous “Fashion Rocks” supplement every year.
@D.R. Mosby: Haahahaha
The funniest thing is that the Rock of Ages people found about about the mention of this show in this blog, and sent out an email telling everyone that their show got mentioned in Vanity Fair. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised at how dumb they are, since they are the same people who cast Constantine in their show. Idiots.
@kc2002: haahahahahaha!!!!
@Maura Johnston: That was my reaction, too. Constantine’s dumb fans are very excited, too. This is what the Rock of Ages People sent out:
Vote For Rock Of Ages!
Today at 5:18pm
Hey Rock Fans!
Sorry for two updates in one day, I just thought I would share this link with you from Vanity Fair!
Who has the better Set List? Rock of Ages or Vanity Fair
Vanity Fair” And Constantine Maroulis Engage In A Canonical Cage Match
@Maura Johnston: Actually, wouldn’t Bono be the single most likely singer to call up Graydon Carter if U2 weren’t included?
kc2002
oooooo you caught me. I found this poll on the ROA website. WTF? Who cares. I like the show. If you don’t than to each their own but no need to come on here and insult people.