I’m not sure whether “I’m Having A Relapse,” the new Eminem track that made its way online last night, is a half-finished work or what, but its 2:08 length seems to be ideal. The beat’s a tad syncopated by Eminem standards (the guy never met an eighth note he could use) while also being typically relentless. Besides a bizarre and kinda laughable line about sodomizing a mannequin, Eminem is still a game lyricist, with the usual fascination on murder, maiming, killing, punishing, and hurting: “Slice you up and cook you after you are murdered by strangulation.” Although his inconsistent rasta inflection is a tad distracting, like Kevin Costner’s accent in Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves. For the curious culture warriors out there, there was no misogyny or homophobia on display, but I’m confident he’ll find a way to sneak that into a remix of the track. Welcome back, Eminem. I didn’t know I even missed you! [The Fader]
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Eminem Has A Relapse
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Your lyrics, transcribed at “too damn early” AM:
How the hell did he manage to get more felony charges?
He’s already got life in jail, man, what the hell is his problem?
Well, to be honest the smell of these chronic leaves make me hella demonic
They’ve compelled me to kill this elderly man
And I get these panic attacks
Pop a Xanax, relax
Tryna stick my fuckin’ dick inside a mannequin’s ass
Then I get manic depressed
See the orthodontist get gassed
Man, it’s kickass
The first thing I put on is the mask
Speaking of masks, man, it ain’t too late to have a change of face
And take it off and show my face so you can see the things you facin’
Slice you up and cook you after you’re murdered by strangulation
That’s bacon souffle you makin’, ain’t you? Well, thank you Jason
There goes one more coma
Due to blunt force trauma
Just give me one more Soma
And I’ll be done for, mama
Go in the damn broom closet
Another Valium, lost it
Shovin’ the vacuum nozzle
Down the bathroom faucet
Seems like every day I get a little flakier
The medication is making my hands a little shakier
Hand me the 18 month old baby, come shake ‘em up
It’ll only take me a second to choke his trachea
Breakin’ his neck in eightysome places
Baby, he’s Shady comes lady
He’s got the razor-b-blades and the ch-ch-chain-ch-saw, baby
You b-b-blundering, bumbling m-m-mumbling dum-dum
Yeah, here I come-come, you hear the rumbling? Vrum-vrum
There’s something inside of that blue tub and that drum-drum
My head and torso are some won’ where they come from
Who’s it belong to, maybe the girl with the long blonde hair
Who disappeared and left her cheerleader pom-poms
Clearly there’s some’ wrong
‘Cause she didn’t come home
She’s missing
Where is she?
Something fishy is goin’ on
I guess he stuck the bitch with the pitchfork with the long prongs
Now everybody get your dance on to my damn song
Come on
@MayhemintheHood: So maybe there is a little misogyny.
@Rock You Like An Iracane: Oh, yeah. I missed the violence against women at the end. Oh, Eminem…you never let us down.
I am surprised Em, in his grand tradition of transient cultural references, didn’t rhyme “strangulation” with “Sarah Palin.”
Thank God.
I couldn’t get past one minute of the ideal length. Sorry.
Is he rapping in a British accent during some parts?
Great graphic. I bought that Chunky A album used for $1.99 in like 1992. I’ve definitely gotten $2 worth of enjoyment out of it over the years, although its not currently loaded on my iPod. I may have to go home tonight and fix that mistake.
Oh, this was an Eminem post? Um, welcome back. Do you know when Dr. Dre’s Chinese Democracy is coming out?
You lost me at “no misogyny or homophobia”. Ahh, whatever. I’ll listen to it anyway.
@Audif Jackson Winters III: That’s why I said he had this weird fake rasta thing going on that came and went like Kevin Costner in Robin Hood.
@Lucas Jensen: Yeah, sorry, I breezed by the post straight to the link.