The Phoenix music scene may not be a nonstop fountain of rock like some of its metropolitan peers, but the Phoenix New Times‘ new Music Editor seems to be taking its perceived “deadness” to an extreme. By which I mean he’s apparently put aside covering all those pesky bands and venues in favor of working the haunted-house beat this month.

Sure, I wasn’t all that interested in the CMJ Marathon, but I’m sure some Phoenix-area readers would have liked to hear how the local bands fared on the mean streets of New York City. Then again, who can be bothered with that sort of thing when Shadowlands, a nightly screamfest in the Fiesta Mall parking lot, is just begging to be covered? Or at least being openly solicited for free tickets?

If you operate a Phoenix-area haunted house you think will stand up to a New Times review drop us a line and send tickets to Music Editor Martin Cizmar:

Martin Cizmar
Haunted House Review
c/o Phoenix New Times
1201 E. Jefferson Street
Phoenix, AZ 85032

Stand up to a New Times review? What could possibly hold up to that impossible standard? For example, catch this razor-sharp criticism of a haunted house located on the second floor of a video arcade/miniature golf course:

I’d be careful what I wore on the bumper boats though – turns out it’s easy to get wet on those, even if you gracefully outmaneuver your opponent at every turn.

Duly noted. After all, what could be more frightening than dampened pant legs? Call Stephen King!

Haunted House Reviews [Phoenix New Times]