How To Navigate Through Next Week’s Glutted Release Schedule: Let’s Play A Game Of Buy/Download/Kill

Between the forever-in-the-making epics and the tossed-off odes to sadness and the crazy ’80s radio pastiche and a bunch of other albums, next week is going to be something of a big one for the music business. How should one navigate their way through the music-consumption choices they’ll be forced to make next week? Might I suggest a friendly game of Buy/Download/Kill, in which each album receives one of the three fates outlined by the game’s title. My personal preferences after the jump.



BUY
Guns N’ Roses, Chinese Democracy Hey, writing about Axl Rose’s magnum opus has paid my bills for the last two years and change. The least I could do is give back.

Kanye West, 808s & Heartbreak: It may be the most divisive album to come out this year, if only because West is one of the few artists left who has a wide-enough fanbase to split through the power of his aesthetic decisions. But you know what? The more I listen, the more I’m coming out on the “pro” side.

The Killers, Day & Age: But wait until it’s discounted to The Nice Price.

DOWNLOAD
Ludacris, Theater Of The Mind: Because it’ll have at least one instance of Ludacris rolling up his vowels and his consonants in a way that drives me wild.

Barry Manilow, The Greatest Songs Of The ’80s: This would go in the “kill” section were it not for the presence of a Journey cover, which I’m going to have to hear at least once for sick curiosity’s sake.

The Fireman, Electric Arguments: That first single was straight, um, fire, but one only has so many hours in a day.

KILL
Trace Adkins, X (Ten): Not only did he have to explain that the “X” in his title isn’t a reference to sleaze, but a nod to this being his 10th album, any success this album might have will probably result in him recording another awful between-innings anthem. (I suspect others might agree, as country isn’t exactly flying off the shelves this year. Unless it’s being sung by sparkly-guitar-wielding girls, that is.)

Scott Weiland, “Happy” In Galoshes: Because dude needs help infinitely more than he needs SoundScans.

Nov. 25, 2008 [Pause & Play]
[Thanks to Defamer for the inspiration]

 
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  1. Ned Raggett  |   Posted on Nov 21st, 2008

    I went to that Firemen link and was befuddled by a featured comment there from a fan:

    It is structured like a live concert so the listerner must give it time to develope to its full. (What musician does not start slowly, except for Dave Grohl?)

    Not quite a Zen koan and yet.

  2. Marth  |   Posted on Nov 21st, 2008

    As the one person in America who actually defends (and enjoys) Scott Weiland’s first solo album, I don’t know if even I can bring myself to pick up his new one. And not because of his personal problems, but that tacky cover! Peee-eeew!

    Otherwise count me in the “buy” column for both Kanye and The Fireman.

  3. Anonymous  |   Posted on Nov 21st, 2008

    My favorite part of 808s and Heartbreak is in Bad News, where he is aghast that his lover is going to “keep it like a never nude.” Kanye is deep, son.

  4. Lax Danja House  |   Posted on Nov 21st, 2008

    I bought Chinese Democracy this morning and will probably pick up Kanye or the Killers tomorrow depending on how much money I have left after tonight.

  5. Maura Johnston  |   Posted on Nov 21st, 2008

    @Lax Danja House: wait — where did you buy it? how much did you pay?

  6. Nutzrpoppin  |   Posted on Nov 21st, 2008

    Sweet, another week with nothing that I ever want to buy. The crappy releases of this year sure are making this financial crisis keep me in the black.

  7. DocStrange  |   Posted on Nov 21st, 2008

    I will buy Chinese Democracy the day it comes out at my local Best Buy. As I said before, I don’t consider myself a GNR fan, but I want to hold that album in my hands – album cover, liner notes and everything – and buy it just to say I have it. It will be proof that if you wait around long enough for something, it will be eventually available in semi-passable form.

    This will be my only music-related purchase at Best Buy all year (because they want upwards of $20 for the new, remastered Collector’s Edition New Order albums, which I can get at my local brick-and-mortar store for about $12).

  8. Al Shipley  |   Posted on Nov 21st, 2008

    Haha this is an awesome idea, should be a running feature.

    Buy: GNR, Luda
    Download: Kanye (because I don’t want to encourage him)
    Kill: Killers and everything else

  9. Lax Danja House  |   Posted on Nov 21st, 2008

    @Maura Johnston: Ireland! I believe I paid the equivalent of about $13.

  10. Marth  |   Posted on Nov 21st, 2008

    I’ll only buy Chinese Democracy if it’s released on cassette.

  11. SomeSound-MostlyFury  |   Posted on Nov 21st, 2008

    @Al Shipley: Agree, running feature please!

    I will buy the Killers and GNR. Have to listen to the Fireman first.

  12. Tauwan  |   Posted on Nov 21st, 2008

    Buy: Luda, Kanye, Killers.
    Download: Scott Weiland
    Kill: Everything else

  13. Anonymous  |   Posted on Nov 21st, 2008

    already downloaded: GNR (was curious to learn from the trainwreck), Killers (cuz my guitarist finds them a guilty pleasure), tried to find Kanye (but i really don’t care anymore!), Britney Spears (like it better than Blackout!), Beyonce (haven’t listened yet, but the bad reviews make me sad, thought she was supposed to be making a dance album).

    And i’m NOT planning on buying any of it. Saving my money for indie releases at amoeba in decemeber.

  14. Halfwit  |   Posted on Nov 21st, 2008

    @Marth: 1 of 2. I mean, never front to back, but a few songs at least show he had some ideas and was not just wanking.

    Which raises a question… in the modern age, how much credit do we give artists for “effort” or “experimentation” (true “lost in the wilderness” albums, not simply “new direction” stuff)?

  15. Halfwit  |   Posted on Nov 21st, 2008

    @eriq78: Saving my money for indie releases at amoeba in December

    Yeah… sure.

  16. Marth  |   Posted on Nov 21st, 2008

    @Halfwit: So I’m not alone!?

    You’re right though… there’s some honestly interesting stuff on that album, and really got my hopes up about where he could go with his career. Unfortunately, we all saw where he actually went. And from what little I’ve heard from this new one, it’s not going to be nearly as interesting.

  17. Murk  |   Posted on Nov 22nd, 2008

    It’s sort of terrifically awesome how bad Chinese Democracy is. It’s so bad that you think, so this is how bad music can get – & then you hit the last few songs. MLK! It’s then that you realize that you just might be listening to the worst rock record ever made. Nothing goes right: the lyrics are abominable; the production is godawful; the music is overwrought. It’s almost wonderful.

  18. Homage  |   Posted on Nov 23rd, 2008

    I wish to announce that I had no idea I had been listening to ChiDem for two whole days while you folks were waiting.

    [nz]

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