Hey, Axl Rose sat down for an interview last night! Well, it wasn’t an interview as much as it was lots of posts on two Guns N’ Roses-related message boards—mygnrforum.com and Here Today, Gone To Hell—and who knows whether the poster was really Axl, or whether it was someone who just figured out that his password was d0lphin1 and who decided to have some fun, but either way, I’m sure Rolling Stone is fuming over not getting the exclusive. After the jump, a few highlights from Axl’s late-night posting spree, which, we learn, was transmitted via PC, although he sometimes uses a Mac as well.

Axl’s foray into MyGNRWorld.com started with a flame war:

fan:
Imagine you post on the Britney Spears fan forum.

Now imagine the son of Britney’s maid posting on the forum and everyone gushing over him because of his association to Britney. Nevermind that he never posts anything notable and is generally annoying.

That’s Fernando.

axl:
Might as well start here… You’re a little cunt and since you’ve been posting you’ve pretty much always been a little cunt. Blind accusations and insults by an anonymous coward and whiny shit stirrer aren’t impressive or needed by anyone. Everyone else…talk with your administrator. Who wants to chat?!!

fan:
Pot meet kettle.

axl:
Not real bright are ya?

fan:
No, not really.

Then again I’m not the one who needs a house keeper to wipe my ass.

axl:
Ah… another cunt! So shocking!

Get in the ring! Nah, Axl said later that he was just engaging in some “friendly banter.” Other highlights courtesy of the poster who goes by the name “Dexter” because of the Showtime show and—I swear—his cat (seriously, is this really him? for real?):

• He uses text message speak, like, a lot. (A red flag?)
• A video for “Better” will be out maybe in the next week (??)
• The lack of promotion for the album is the fault of some bad contract negotiation (”Within’ those negotiations I believed I had secured agreements, commitments and assurances that would have allowed a promotional strategy to be implemented that obviously I’ve had a fair amount of time to consider. Unfortunately those things never happened and once the record was closer to release the biz went about things in their standard business as usual mode.”)
• The reason he doesn’t play guitar live more? “skill”
• He loves Kanye! “B4 r release I sent him a msg that any nonsense from the media had nothing to do with us and wished him the best. I’m humbled we’ve done as well as we have considering.”
• Favorite album of the year? “Ours of course!!” Also, he likes Death Magnetic OK.
• He prefers Cherry Nyquil.

And then, of course, there was the one guy who had to ask if a new album was coming out anything soon:

I know this is jumping the gun big time, but any tentative idea when you would like to see the next CD come out?

No, maybe same bat time, same bat channel next year but we’ll have to see.

He also said that he’s always thought of Chinese Democracy “as a double,” which would make sense, given his past bids at recorded excess.

And finally, the one question that’s probably on the minds of even those people who just think of Chinese Democracy as some vague concept that they slept through during ninth-grade social studies:

fan:
If this is true. I have one question for you Axl. What is stopping the fans from seeing you Slash, Duff, and Izzy back on stage together?

axl:

U’ve been lied to and misled for such a long time that sorting through all that here is virtually impossible. A lot will come out over time but the truth has been out there for a long time as well but that doesn’t give you what you want so this dance just goes on and on.

This might tie into the terse statement posted to the band’s official Web site about the original “arm tattoo” lineup getting back together for a cash-raking tour. Or it might be Axl trying out new lyrics! Who knows!

PS: Axl, if you read this, I have a commenter invite waiting for you. For real.

Axl’s MYGNR/HTGTH late night interview- [Here Today, Gone To Hell]
Recap of Axl’s posts [MyGNRForum]
AXL ROSE Breaks Silence On ‘Chinese Democracy’, Original GN’R Reunion, DR PEPPER And BRIAN MAY [Blabbermouth]