Rock scribe Jimmy Guterman wants to know how he might get his 12-year-old daughter in to see Ida Maria at a 21+ show. There are the obvious solutions: getting her in for soundcheck, getting her in as press, getting her in backstage, bum-rushing the door with the rest of her punk friends. But what are the less sensible, less effective methods she could use to get in?
Perch on a friend’s shoulders, then wear a long trenchcoat. Put an obviously fake mustache on. Hope the bouncer busts up laughing. Sneak in when he does.
More helpful suggestions after the jump!
Use suction cups to walk up the side of the building. Carefully cut a hole in the skylight using a glass cutter. When you accidentally fall right into the middle of the show and the music screeches to a halt, dust yourself off and make a “who, me?” gesture and everything will be fine.
Find a map of the sewer system. Tunnel into the basement. Get on a platform, but someone accidentally hits a button, and—what’s this? A hydraulic lift? Oh no! We’re on stage! But then Ida Marie will hand you a guitar and you will rock out together.
Get a hundred puppies, release them at the door, follow them inside; if stopped, say, “Are you against puppies?!”
Try to get a rider attached to the retraction of the NYC term limits law that allows awesome 12-year-olds to go to shows by Norwegians. Study carefully for your awesomeness certification and get it before the show.
Dress as a pizza delivery person; acquire pizzas. (With boxes.) Go to door; say, “Did somebody order pizzas?!” Then punch the bouncer and run in.
Hope I could help!
Ida Maria and how the Internet might be able to help me make a 12-year-old girl happy [Jimmy Guterman]
[Pic via basic_sounds]
