In a comment on his Morrissey review earlier this week, fellow Idolatorian Mike Barthel mentioned that his antipathy toward Animal Collective was so strong, he couldn’t even understand why other people liked them:
Why do I hate AC? I’ve gotten into it elsewhere, and yeah, like Maura said, there hasn’t really been a proper platform to air any writer’s grievances at length. I just really, really don’t like them, to the point that I don’t even really understand why other people like them. I actually spent about an hour today talking to a former AC-hata who was trying to talk me into liking the new album, and I gave it an honest, serious try, and it made me want to stab knitting needles in my eyes.
That’s some serious hate there, but I completely understand. There are some bands that I loathe so much that it clouds my reason. The rational centers of my brain are so opposed to them that I can’t understand why any thinking bidepal creature would ever deign to listen to such garbage.
There’s a definite divide between the bands that give me the Hate Shakes™ and bands that I just don’t like. For example, I get why high school kids dig the Doors (I know I did), and, heck, I can even see why kids got into the horrid nu-metal of the late ’90s/early ’00s. Sure, the thought of a Limp Bizkit song’s existence makes my kidneys want to jump out through my eyeballs, but I sort of understand the band’s underlying appeal.
But then we have a band like Kings of Leon. I know what you are thinking. They’re harmless and mediocre, right? Yeah, I know, but context has to be part of this kind of intense hatred. The Kings of Leon garner so much acclaim for their hook-free, watered-down faux-Southern rock garbage when more deserving bands (like everyone else in the world making music) don’t get covered with the same fervor, and it fills me with loathing. Adding fuel to this fire is that most of their fans seem to agree that the band is getting worse, yet the coverage is almost always praiseworthy. (This happens a lot when artists become “feature” bands that garner features over reviews. Features are generally fawning puff pieces meant to sell mags or generate clicks, so who cares if some Grumpy Gus in the back thinks the band sounds like putrified dog squeeze?) God, just talking about this band gives me the Hate Shakes™. You see? I’m so blinded by hate that I can’t even elucidate a tenable position on this. I just shake and hate and shake some more. Blergh!
How about you? Whom do you hate so much that you can’t even fathom why someone would ever listen to them? Who gives you the Hate Shakes™?
Also, Nine Inch Nails sucks! Haha. Kidding. I just wanted to feed the beast.
Jack fucking Johnson. Talk about Hate Shakes. Having to listen to his aggressively mellow shit is like trying to stay in a room that has a hidden high-frequency squeal that you can’t identify the source of. Literally drives me up the wall. I’m thrilled that he seems to have receded back into the woodwork.
Nthed on the Lenny Kravitz. Hate it, hate it, hate it. Music designed for bad commercials.
Train. I liked “Meet Virginia” ok, but at some point their blandness crossed some line and morphed into Hate Shakes.
@T’Challa: Haha, “it’s not like he was Timbaland or anything” completely correct w/r/t the worth of Dilla, I think, though comparing the two is kind of random.
As for me, the Shins 100%. God do I hate them.
@eyeball_kid: And hipsters hate musical hegemony, so any large, rabid fanbase generates a lot of backlash.
Tru dat.
But their ignorance is an even worse trait. Case in point: The first time I heard The Decemberists “Here I Dreamt I Was an Arquitecht” I thought it was Al Stewart. But no hipster would ever be caught dead listening to Mr. Year of the Cat, so they’ll diss him–if they even know who he is–and listen to their own version.
Also, anyone who has clearly discernible talent in a classic sense–ie they can play their instrument at an above average level and/or can actually sing–is immediately suspect.
@KikoJones: Also, anyone who has clearly discernible talent in a classic sense–ie they can play their instrument at an above average level and/or can actually sing–is immediately suspect.
That’s a slippery slope, lest we fall victim to Yngwie Malmsteen. Unless you’re into him, then that’s, um, cool, I guess.
@cookiedough: lol, you’re kind missing the point entirely, but w/e.
RHCP
DMB
dashboard confessional (basically any nu-emo)
fleet foxes
I live in Venice, so I feel the Jack Johnson…I hear it blaring at every surf-house party within 6 blocks every weekend….but the one I have NEVER gotten is Joan Baez….her voice defines the word “shrill” to me.
And ANYthing made with Auto-Tune.
@kevink.:
Oh jeez, I totally forgot about the Red Hot Chili Peppers. I think no matter how much I theoretically liked any of their melodies or their lyrics (gag) I would never be able to get over the horrible slimy groove that underlays every single one of their songs. “Other Side” is ok, but everything else is like ocular acupuncture.
@kevink.:
Oh jeez, I forgot about the Red Hot Chili Peppers. I think even if I theoretically liked one some of their melodies or lyrics (gag), I would still be unable to get over my hate for that horrible, slimy groove that underlays every single one of their songs. “Otherside” is ok, but all the rest is ocular acupuncture.
Sorry, didn’t mean to post twice.
Damn, over 100 comments already. That’s a lot of haterade/hatorade.
Lucas, Maura — Looks like its time for an idolator poll, which band give you hate shakes the most.
Hate is such a strong word, one I don’t normally toss out when it comes to music cause I listen and/or purchase a lot of shit, but if you were to ask me something I just don’t care for, I would have to go ahead and say, oh I don’t know Linkin Park.
Jim Jones
Kiss
Steely Dan
The Backstreet Boys
@kevink.: RHCP…totally agree. Good call.
@How do I say this … THROWDINI!: the hate posts ALWAYS get more traffic. it is an internet truism.
I realize this thread is long enough that another person posting is kind of pointless, but that’s ok, I’ll add my overly-long two cents in.
rant:
I don’t usually dislike particular bands, I save all my hate for entire scenes. I steer clear of the Next Big Blog Band not because I dislike the music, but because I hate the entire hipster scene. Your holier-than-thou style and music preference is conformism at it’s worst! Down with Pitchfork!
Ack, it seems other people have the same problem as I do, (like KikoJones). Hipsters, you’re not cool because you listen to something every other clueless kid your age listens to, just because you’re the first in your group of friends to read about it on Stereogum.
I’ve always figured emo scene kids go to college and become hipsters, then they move out to the suburbs and become soccer moms. They pride themselves on their scene, not actually the music, and then they grow out of it… and into another stereotype they can comfortably live in.
I overcompensate because I’m fat, so I just don’t listen to any bands that resemble the indie/hipster scene. You’d think that I was bitter because some hipster did something to spite me long ago. Unfortunately, I can’t even use that as an excuse. I’m just blindly nonconformist (which is a drawback as well). Death to cliques!
/rant
OAR
I was totally ambivalent toward them until I had the accidental misfortune to catch them live a few years ago. At first they were just a poor man’s DMB. Then they had the temerity to sing “Sunday Bloody Sunday.” For an encore. At a Christmas show. With a saxophone in the instrumentation.
Who does that?
I don’t hold U2 or Bono on any pedestal, but this song is pretty special. And if you’re not U2 or even from fucking Ireland you should NOT be performing this song.
I also loathe Ray LaMontaigne.
Can this become a weekly feature? It may get repetitive, but once a week there should just be an open thread where everybody gets to list the things they hate.
Gotta let it all out, people. Don’t hold back.
Also; grunge, and post-grunge shlock. I’m looking at you, Puddle of Mudd.
Also, can we institute a ban on bitching about hipsters on music blogs? The hipster haterade is universal. We all get it. Move on already.
Besides, isn’t that sort of like hanging out in a biker bar all the time, and then bitching about how much you hate bikers?
^^^could not be more on the money
i can deal with any music on this earth except for freakin’
ICP
That actually makes me want to smack people.
Best comment bait ever. For the sake of completeness, though I think these have already been covered:
80s and 90s Aerosmith is a no brainer
M.I.A. besides “Paper Planes” - the awesomeness of which actually makes me hate her even more (and by extension, Diplo, I suppose)
Devendra Banhart - I can now see why so many people are anti-hippie
90% of the artists played on classic rock stations, and most bands that were popular when I was in high school/college.
PETER. BJORN.
AND JOHN.
Whistling in general makes my ears gag, but a the whistled, playground-taunty hook in “Young Folks” nearly turned me into a violent criminal.
@Tardy: You made me spit out my cocoa! For real who does that?
I’m on the OAR haterade wagon with you. I remember a few years ago (5?) when they became popular with my college friends and I’d just think “what are you saying? oooohhaaayyarrrggh? what? Do you say it like the oar of a boat?”
I felt the same about MGMT, do you say emmgeeeemmmteee or managmement?
But yeah, OAR…um, no, just no.
Just ‘cuz we’ve gotten this far and no one’s mentioned them…and I hate them so much I specifically told our wedding DJ, not only to not play them, but to ignore any (probable) requests for them from my Italian relatives…
Bon Jovi.
A couple oldies but baddies for your consideration. If I happen to catch even a note of a Chicago or a Journey song as I spin the radio dial the hair on the back of my neck will stand up and my palms begin to sweat. High school memories come rushing back as the Hate Shakes overtake my limbs, causing me fumble with the dial as I frantically try to change the station! The torture, the torture!
Velvet Crush circa ‘Teenage Symphonies to God or, actually, Velvet Crush circa anything but “Walking Out on Love” now that i think about it.
really any powerpop of that kind makes me squirm.
Thanks for this thread.
Bands/artists I would like to never hear again:
Jimmy Buffet
Madonna
Styx
Ted Nugent
Billy Joel
Creed
Nickleback
Linkin Park
Kanye West
Chick Corea
Yanni
AC/DC
Journey
Kenny G
Golden Earring
Girl Talk
Rush
The Offspring
The Eagles
Sheryl Crow
Coldplay
Joe Satriani
Animal Collective
and bands that try to sound like the above list.
THE HOLD STEADY
OKKERVIL RIVER
THE DECEMBERISTS
KID ROCK
COCO ROSIE
THE MOUNTAIN GOATS
NO AGE
ABE VIGODA
THE BIRD AND THE BEE
GREGORY AND THE HAWK
MIA
Brownham, are you just listing the roster of Coachella 2010 or something?
@Lucas Jensen: I know, I know. When I originally registered I had a cold and was a bit loopy of cough syrup. I THOUGHT I had typed “NeverStop” (a nod to my beloved Bunnymen). D’oh!
50 Fucking Cent.
God I can’t wait for Before I Self-Destruct to, well, you know.
@brownham: Thanks for the reminder: The kid from Bright Eyes. Anything he’s involved with pretty much bores me to sleep.
@Lucas Jensen:
most of shaggy’s repertoire gives me that.
then vomits.
its terrible.
anybody that my ‘trendy hipster’ friends like.
Vampire Weekend makes me get the HS for ten minutes, screw that 2 minute thing.
The Kills- we’re going to make howling noises for two minutes like a half assed ting tings (atleast they have the decency to annoy with pep and englishness)
maybe its more of the fools at urban outfitters who’ll only listen to whatever everyone else isn’t…whatever THAT is, I’m not into it.
I’m getting hate shakes trying to remember who the hell I get hate shakes from, thanks guys
The Devil Wears Prada.
worst. fucking. rat slowly gurgling to death.. screamo. band. ever.
and we the kings.
over-glorified pop-punk, heard it a million times shit.
Mates of State.
Dave Matthews Band is the only outfit worthy of Hate Shakes to me. They feed on people who should know better, whose musical development was probably no different from yours or mine up until, say, late high school/early college. Then they came to a fork in the road. Down one road was music that didn’t suck. Down the other road was Dave Matthews’ stupid face and voice, and fiddling. And they were seduced. You see a guy from your high school on facebook whose sole entry under favorite music is “DMB”–and you just lower your head in mourning. It’s like they’ve been eaten by zombies. But that means they themselves have become a zombie. And that ain’t no trip to Cleveland.
WINGS, y’all.
Guided by Voices.
I too hate Bon Iver, and I haven’t even heard anything by he/she/it! I read that the name is a shortened version of some phrase in a foreign language, and it just sounded Pretentious As Hell. Irrational, I know.
If The Boss or Pink Floyd come on the radio, I’m immediately out.
On the flip side, I have an everlasting love for Game Theory/Loud Family, but very few seem to share my passion.
A few years ago, when the hot-shit bands were The Strokes and The White Stripes and I was looking for The White Stripes’ first two albums in a record store and I asked the clerk if he had either of them and he told me that he didn’t but they had the latest (first?) Linkin Park record. I thought I was going to have seizures from the hate shakes I had then.
@Ned Raggett: Gene?! GENE??!
I’m so breaking up with you.
What kind of music do you people even listen to? A lot of the stuff people have listed is pretty bad, but some of it not so much. Led Zeppelin? Pavement? Frank fucking Zappa? I mean c’mon!
I really can’t work up the energy to hate music. I’ve grown to the point where I can tolerate a lot more than I used to and what I can’t tolerate I can usually understand how someone could like it. I don’t really like Red Hot Chili Peppers, but they are good musicians who write pretty good songs. I don’t ever want to listen to Rush but I guess I can understand why someone would. Death metal bothers me, but, again, I can see where a fan is coming from. On the flip side of the coin, I can understand why someone would hate, say, “On the Corner,” but I’d like to think I can articulate to them why it’s so awesome.
Oh, and Fleet Foxes? If I woke up one morning and I could write songs that tight and pretty I’d probably shit my bed.
Animal Collective haters? Have you heard “Grass”? To find any other songs that beautiful I’d have to dig into, like, “Mingus Ah Um.”
I’m with the Morrissey haters…I have no problem with Johnny Marr, in fact, I kind of love him, so I’ve tried several times to get into The Smiths, but as soon as I hear his voice I want to cause damage to my surroundings.
I also think I am allergic to Coldplay. There is nothing wrong with it per se, it’s just so damn blah I don’t understand the point.
@eyeball_kid:
I should’ve clarified my statement. What I meant to say was that for a lot of these hipster types “anyone who has clearly discernible talent in a classic sense–ie they can play their instrument at an above average level and/or can actually sing–is immediately suspect.” Pure instrumental dexterity–or lack thereof–should not be the main criteria to judge something, unless it becomes an actual hindrance to the music.
But Yngwie is a great example: before consigning him to the dust heap he should be listened to before dismissing him. I did and I did.
I guess my point was about judging music on its own merits and what it may or may not mean to you, as opposed to what so-called arbiters of taste–dubious and otherwise–have deemed it to be.
What a gross, tedious exercise this thread is. Not good for anyone.
That said, Cup My Balls Say Ah is horrid, overrated anti-rock.
I spend a disturbing amount of time and energy defending my overarching hatred of pop country. I do myself no favors with my love of folky rocky sometimes country twinged music “but what do you call kathleen edwards if not country music”
No band makes me as inexplicably angry as Rascall Flats. I actually feel like my eyes glaze over and I can’t function except to blurt out curse words. GAhhhhh, just THINKING about them! Its like a physical reaction that I actually cannot control.
coldplay. - Hate. Hate. Hate. Bland and insepid. I want to run chris martin over with my car.
Fall Out Boy - I don’t think there is anyone as ugly as Pete Wentz. And their music sucks