I don’t know about you, my morning was brightened when I saw a bunch of blog posts about there reportedly being a Katy Perry nude pic floating around the Internet. “Hasn’t she done this already?” people asked me about the oh-so-annoying singer upon hearing the news. Well, no, she hasn’t, and guess what? She still hasn’t, or at least not in a public way; the pic obviously ain’t real. After the jump, five reasons why, like the Meg White and Fergie sex tapes before it, this somewhat depressing bathroom self-portrait is obviously the operation of someone who thought “hey, I look enough like this popular entertainer to maybe get some semi-anonymous face (and ass) time on the Internet!” and then whipped out her camera.
1. It’s not her nose. (Exhibit A.)
2. Do you really think that the people in charge with putting that awful “My Grammy Moment” YouTube talent contest through its paces are that savvy about online viral marketing?
3. Bathroom does not have enough kitschy “Dirty Girl” soaps and whatnot on hand. Like Miss I Make Bananaphone References Incessantly In Concert would scrub herself down with cleansers you can buy at Trader Joe’s!
4. [Insert rant about the degraded nature of the female pop star, and how it's really kind of sad that the only way certain people feel that they can connect with female celebrities is on a pornographic level, and how I thought the whole "naked picture"/"sex tape" hunt based around different celebrities in flagrante was a blip on the 2007-08 radar that had mercifully died down because I hadn't seen any search results for said curios pop up on Google Trends in quite a while, but I guess since the news cycle is slow and everyone's at home waiting out the NATIONWIDE DEEP FREEZE things like this are bound to pop up here]
5. No, really, the nose is totally different.
Katy Perry Kissed A Girl And Took A Naked Picture Of Herself [Fleshbot / NSFW; via Gawker]
@Christopher R. Weingarten: Ha, good one.
Yeah, it’s fake but she’s still cute. Well, there goes my cheesecake ration of the morning.
I’m still waiting for the Tom Waits nude pics.
It’s not just celebrities, the only way I can connect with anybody is on a pornographic level.
C-Section Scar. Has KP had a baby?
Well, the girl in the photo had no aim of positing herself as Katy Perry. It’s from a series of photos she took of herself, clearly, and this thing’s been doing the internet forum circles for the better part of a year and a half. I guess someone got bored and decided to make a news item and sent it to the blogs, which is funny because this’ll probably end up getting to Katy herself and then the trolling will have run full circle when she comments on it.
I’d argue that she’s actually cuter and better than Ms. Perry in every way.
Luckily no one noticed the glut of Amy Winehouse pictures that surface lately. ::Shudder::
@muhammadisabear: While I can’t defend the woman’s sonic output, I cannot deny that Katy Perry is a major-league cutie-pie. Did I just say that out loud? Wow.
PS: As for those Winehouse pix…terrifying. I pine for the days when she was just an awesome singer getting laced with fat tracks from Mark Ronson.
11:30 AM on Fri Jan 16 2009
By Maura Johnston
8954198691827436981763598716345 views
Comment
if anything, this girl’s face is more r. tunney than k. perry.
You know what grosses me out? PEOPLE’S NASTY BATHROOMS.
i saw this on gawker this morning and thought nothing of it.
then I stared at it and realized that she looks like someone who used to be very mean to me in high school.
and I thought it was THAT girl which made me feel better because I got a one up on someone….wait what was going on?
it’s not her and honestly, if it was, would anyone be shocked?
PS she had a youtube clip of herself getting plastercasted for breast cancer, you can see naked back if you’re hard up for celebrity skin
@T’Challa:
Haha, upon going back to the well and finding the other pics of this girl I take it back. She had the better body but Katy is definitely the cutie pie.
ahem
hi, this is a comment from the girl in the picture. no shit it isn’t katy perry.
over a year and a half ago, i took a few pictures like this to send to my boyfriend at the time, who lived 400 miles away. i stupidly left them on my photobucket, which got hacked.
this is an old, ollllld picture. and now it is haunting me.
and about the “c-section scar”
hahahahaha. it’s an indentation from pants that were on too tight, doofus.
the nose is a dead give away
I really dont even see the resemblance
@iamnotkatyperry:
My bad…I haven’t seen a woman’s pubic region in a while.
You look great though,
Love always,
Doofus.