Last month, some yukster decided to post to the message board VH1 had set up for Rock Of Love discussion about a new version of the show, this one featuring pint-sized black arts aficionado Glenn Danzig. See if you can figure out where I finally called bullshit on the whole thing after the jump!
For Immediate Release Jan. 12, 2009
New Season of Rock of Love to Feature Metal Legend Glenn Danzig
VH1 announced today that producers are now filming a new season of Rock of Love featuring metal/punk/horror-core legend, Glenn Danzig. The new show, which will premeire this July, is called “Rock of Love: Bride of Satan with Glenn Danzig.” Danzig is well-known in metal and punk circles as one of the founding members of 1980s horror-core punk rockers Samhain. He went on to the form hard-rock band Danzig, which scored several top 40 hits in the late ’80s including “Mother” and “She Rides.” Both a singer, songwriter and multi-instrumentalist, Danzig is also well-known for his interest in the occult and all things evil. VH1 producers stated that introducing the element of Satanism would inject new life into the Rock of Love franchise as well as reach a different audience niche — jokingly referred to by insiders as “the black market.” The new series will follow the traditional Flavor of Love/Rock of Love format with a group of 20 women vying for the affection of the celebrity musician. However, at the insistence of Mr. Danzig, the winner will enter into a legally-binding marriage with Satan in a ceremony that is sure to test the limits of basic cable censorship standards.
Although network executives are keeping a tight lid on the show’s planned shennanigans, a few details have been leaked about planned challenges. These include:
goat entrail soup and chili cook-off
blindfolded nun deflowering contest
sexy seance strip-a-thon
virgin or family member: the sacrifice challenge
name that heretic
The only part that I can see VH1 objecting to is the sacrifice challenge. Everything else, though? Fair game—especially that nun-deflowering contest. (Just put some rejects in habits and it’s on!)
Anyway, this phony (right? it’s phony, right?) release neglected to mention one thing: How Glenn would usher hopefuls through to the next round. Would he give them a pair of black wings? Invite them along on a ride? Or tell them that they could walk his way?
New Rock Of Love Filming Now With Danzig [VH1 Forums]