Loading ...
Last night’s American Idol served as yet another testament to the completely broken nature of this ridiculous 36-semifinalist setup. Most of the performances were, unfortunately, pretty bad—so lousy, in fact, that I felt for even the most off-pitch contestants, since this was pretty much their only shot to make any sort of impression on the American public and so many of them seemed completely cowed by the idea of being on the big stage. Well, at least Nick “Norman Gentle” Mitchell made his song his own, complete with Idol-specific lyrics. Rankings after the jump!
12. Jeanine Vailes. Third on the night, and her choice of Maroon 5’s “This Love” actually made me say out loud, “Who is picking these songs?!” (Simon agreed with me, at the very least.) So horribly screechy and awkward, I was wondering whether or not the band sabotaged her at the last minute by deciding to play in a different key.
11. Matt Giraud. The dueling pianist sang Coldplay’s “Viva La Vida”—a song that Simon does not like, apparently—and said in the pre-roll that he was hoping to put “a soulful twist on a white-boy rock song.” Sure, one could say that he was hamstrung by the dime-store band backing him up (seriously, that string part sounded like it was fresh from a Holiday Inn down the street), but he apparently thought that “soulful” meant “a voice that’s slip-sliding all over the place,” because he was just bad. I liked him a lot in Hollywood, but this was just awful.
10. Jasmine Murray. A breathy, sorta-busted version of Sara Bareilles’ “Love Song” that was overdone in every way except as far as pitch control went—she seemed unable to stay on one note. This girl kind of annoyed me despite Kara’s assertion that she’s “commercial,” and her choice of the grating “Love Song” only went further to solidify her irritating persona.
9. Matt Breitzke. The other blue-collar guy does another faceless rock-radio staple (this time, Tonic’s “If You Can Only See”).
8. Mishavonna Henson. First off, who sings a Train song on American Idol? Second, did anyone notice that the echo on her microphone was turned way up? Third, how bad were the backup singers on the “na, na, na na”? Maybe the best rejected contestants should join the band, a la Top Chef’s “previous contestants as sous chefs” trickery.
7. Kai Kalama. A version of “What Becomes Of The Brokenhearted” that was fine—which, given last night’s dismal performances overall, meant that he was one of the better contestants—but nothing that I’ll remember once I hit “publish” on this post.
6. Allison Iraheta. Can we declare a moratorium on people singing “Alone”? Please? Her version had a bit of grit to it (and I loved her black Betsey Johnson-ish outfit) but it’s just becoming really hard to not automatically compare her to everyone else who’s performed this song so far. For some reason the judges really liked her (Randy even threw out the “only 16″ compliment!) but I was just not impressed.
5. Kris Allen. Apparently hoping to fall into the David Archuleta Inspirational Singer Slot, what with him performing “Man In The Mirror.” Alas, his time to move the masses will probably be short, because even though the judges liked him, I thought that his version started off wobbly enough for people to just not care. (Also, what was up with Simon pimping Danny Gokey’s alleged vocal skills during his critique of Kris? Am I going to have to start a “Gokey Pimpage Quotient” segment in all of these recaps or what?)
4. Nick Mitchell. Turned on the Norman Gentle persona for a tailored-to-Idol version of “And I Am Telling You.” Simon called it one of the most atrocious performances in the history of the show (um, hello, “Eight Days A Week”??), and in response, dude did a karate kick. A karate kick! Ranked as high as he is because everyone else below was either boring or lousy, and because I hope he makes it through just to drive the judges—OK, Simon—crazy. Or at least that he hooks up with Danny Noriega for a wacky YouTube sitcom.
3. Megan Joy Corkrey. Another over-Idoled song—this time, Corinne Bailey Rae’s “Put Your Records On”—but she actually gave it a little bit of oomph. It’s probably in part a testament to how lousy the night was that I’m putting a version of this chestnut so high, but she does have a pretty great personality, and it shone through in her performance. Plus she’s a font designer!
2. Jesse Langseth. A totally passable version of “Bette Davis Eyes” that was nearly sabotaged by the band being off-rhythm at the outset. I loved her asking Randy for clarification on what, exactly, “more” means in his statement “I just want more” (He meant range!) and the way she talked about how she picked the song in part because she liked its beat. (And Simon’s claim that she’s forgettable is kind of torpedoed by his love of Leona Lewis, no?)
1. Adam Lambert. The only contestant of the night who didn’t seem freaked out by the prospect of being on TV. His version of “Satisfaction,” despite a few sorta-cheesy bits, wiped the floor with everyone. (INCLUDING DANNY, GUYS. JUST SAYING.) I did giggle, though, at Randy referring to his style as “Steven Tyler meets Fall Out Boy meets Robert Pattinson meets My Chemical Romance.”
WHO I WOULD HAVE VOTED FOR: Nick, Jesse, and Adam.
WHO’S PROBABLY GOING TO WIN: Adam, Allison, and… oh, I don’t know. Maybe Jesse or Megan? Truth be told, I’d rather have both of them in there than Allison, but I suspect her youth will work in her favor.
REVEALING DIOGUARDISM OF THE NIGHT: To Jeanine: “So much about you is pretty. Thank God.”
American Idol [Official site]
[Pic via Rickey]
I think Allison was pretty fantastic, actually. I think Adam, Allison and Megan will go through, and I’d like to see Mishavonna get a wild card. She can clearly sing, but the band played Drops of Jupiter like a funeral dirge. Not that I think it was a good song choice, but it certainly could have done with some more bounce.
On that note, maybe I just haven’t noticed it in years past, but the band just sucks. They are sabotaging almost every song they get their hands on. Really just terrible, terrible stuff.
I really believe that was hands-down the worst Idol performance show I have ever seen. I’m not sure any one of those twelve deserves to go any further.
I seriously don’t get the Adam “Edward Sister-Sissorhands” love. All I have ever seen is an over-theatrical wanna-be Broadway faux rocker. It was completely screechy in parts. More than that, it was annoying to watch. Uber-cheesy. He’s every over excited drama kid I ever wanted to punch in face.
If I have to take three, give me Megan, Kris and Nick I suppose. If only to see what Norman will do next.
I might give Jasmine and Giraud another chance based on what they do in a wild-card show.
@Rob Murphy: Okay, I liked Allison, even though she wasn’t great. But I didn’t dig Adam, who only stood out because most of the other performances were just atrocious.
@SomeSound-MostlyFury: It was hard for me to not compare Allison’s “Alone” to Carly’s. I dunno, there was just something sort of … hollow about her performance?
“Steven Tyler meets Fall Out Boy meets Robert Pattinson meets My Chemical Romance.”
I just realized what the problem is — I hate all those bands.
@Maura Johnston: I can definitely see that. I think I was mostly enamored that she actually has control of her lower register.
She was also the first one of the evening to not completely suck. Though, I too would have preferred Jesse.
Jesse wasn’t bad, but also wasn’t great. But like everyone on the panel told her, “Bette Davis Eyes” isn’t the kind of song you need to sing to stand out in the semifinal rounds.
Allison Iraheta was badass. And sang “Alone” better than Carly. TRUTH BOMB.
I think the producer’s plan is to make sure they get the top twelve they want by filling the top 12 group around them with incredible amounts of suck.
It’s like a game: which two are the ones the producers want you to vote for?
Answer: The only two who actually put on a good show.
The third slot doesn’t matter–the top 12 needs cannon fodder anyway. Though I noted that last week we had three “decent” guys that were all mildly interchangeable for the third slot and wild card berth (Rickey, Anoop, Michael) and this week we had three interchangeable girls (Megan, Jesse, Mishavonna.) How to get your gender balance and keep the Sanjayas out too. (Of course, if this doesn’t work–dialidol had Coldplay Matt goatiest-goat-that-ever-vibratto’d as number three right now–they will make up for it by putting all three girls into the wild card and gender-balance that way.
I think Nick is a lock for the “freak” performance in the finale. The lack of serious freak show during the auditions seems to have resulted in getting the “freaks” to stick around a little longer, albeit far more stable ones, like Tatiana and Nick, who understand their job is to ham it up, not make the top 12, and not turn up dead in a couple of years in front of Kara’s house.
i weigh in again, unqualified:
[blogs.houstonpress.com]
I’m sick of all these white girls trying to sound like old soul singers. You know they weren’t singing like that 2 years ago.
I blame Winehouse, Adele, and Duffy.
@musicquizking: So did Randy Jackson! Although it ws more “credit” than “blame.”
@Rory B. Bellows: I will second you on Adam. He is just way too theatrical all the time. Even last night it seems like he was giving a theater performance, and not singing in a competition.
Also, I don’t know if there is someone planted suck juice in the water bottles this year, but so far it has been a big let down. I mean, how does a guy like Nick “Norman” even make it this far? Someone needs to step it up and make this more interesting.
Thought Alison was simply badass all the way around. Agree with you completely on Megan Joy. And actually kind of dug Mishavonna’s style and voice as well. Strange song choice or not, I liked listening to it.
Jesse, on the other hand, drives me crizaaazy. a) her vowel pronunciation borders on the bizarre b) seriously, sometimes just stop talking. She’s just as annoyingly self-involved as Tatiana was.
But where I just really don’t see it is with Adam. I almost thought it was a joke. Like if the writers of High School Musical decided to write a broadway show for Disney about a rock star, this is what it would look like. As an ironic turn on the Devo version, it almost might have worked for me. As a legit take on the original? Really? We just sat there eyes wide open in a twisted form of awe and said “we are not of that generation.” As Simon said, clearly love it or hate it.
NICK NICK NICK
Judging from the youtube clips, I think we can expect from lots of Queen, Bowie, Mika, and perhaps a song from Hedwig for musicals week.
What he should really be covering: Judas Priest and Jobriath.
Maura, I know you’ve never been a fan of Leona, but the one thing she was never was forgettable when she auditioned, bootcamped or performed on the X-Factor in the UK. Vocally she stood out by a country mile and actually got extra people tuning in by dint of word-of-mouth.
@Thierry: we can expect from Adam.
unless adam sings “18 and Life” or “Home Sweet Home” I am 100% not interested in this dude.
The way that Megan Corkrey moved during her song reminded me of Seinfeld’s Elaine dancing at her office Xmas party.