Last night’s American Idol was organized around the very loose idea of “Popular Downloads,” a night that resulted in some contestants seeming way older than they were, others annoying the judges for not fitting into the boxes constructed around them during the auditions lo those many months ago, and others having really, really big hair. Like really big. A ranking-free recap—honestly, last night was maybe the first this season in which there was no real No. 1 sticking out of the morass of hopefuls—and tales of out-of-control hairdryers, all after the jump.
Anoop Desai. I have to give Anoop credit for doing his own thing with his version of Usher’s “Caught Up,” and for bucking the judges, who gave him a lot more guff than the performance deserved. It was a bit awkward in points, but you know what? He wants to sing R & B, and it’s certainly more current than the Steamy AC performances some of the other contestants put out there this evening.
Megan Joy. I guess “Turn Your Lights Down Low” was an OK fit for her voice, but her awkward stage presence (the stoner-ish squinting, the slightly pained smile, the flailing) sort of robbed the performance of any sexiness. But again, what is up with the judges? They are so into putting the hopefuls into boxes—in Megan’s case, it’s shaped like Adele—and basically having tantrums when the contestants decide they don’t want to be in them.
Danny Gokey. Wow, the Gokester and a schmaltzed-up version of a Rascal Flatts song? All it needs is Nicole Scherzinger on backing vocals and you’d have Maura Johnston Kryptonite. Of course the producers let the ovation go on way too long, because it’s a saaadddd song and he has a sad backstory and hey did you know his grandfather died last week. And of course the judges loved it. What is going on this year, for real.
Allison Iraheta. The opening of “Don’t Speak” was a bit awkward in terms of Allison’s rapport with the backing singers, although I thought she sounded OK during that bit; it took a while for her to find her groove once the song kicked in, but she can really kill those power notes. Plus I loved most of her proto-kinderwhore look (well, the white shoes were a bit much), which for some reason Randy hated. Randy Jackson, fashion arbiter! Let’s just recall that this is a man who once looked like this:
Salt shaker for one, please.
Scott MacIntyre. A sweet version of “Just The Way You Are” that was just him on the piano. Not to be all Kara, but c’mon, when is dude going to get behind that piano and bust out some George Michael? His hair screamed “Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go,” although I suspect if he actually sang that song it would result in him being gone-gone.
Matt Giraud. Oh, Matt. You are so sweet and you have so much potential, but picking a song by the freaking Fray is like suicide in this competition. You can’t handle the low notes and your attempts to recreate Isaac Slade’s catatonic snarl are just embarrassing. Putting you and your keyboard in the middle of the mosh pit at least distracted from the dreariness of the song a bit, but… well, let’s just say that Paula using the word “aborted” in her critique (which also called back to the disastrous “Viva La Vida” performance, ouch!) was not all that out of line.
Lil Rounds. Ooh, singing Celine Dion? A risky choice from the performer who’s probably the most overrated singer of the Top 12. It sounded OK, but her slapped-on wig, aging-actress-at-the-Globes gown, and eyes being closed for most of the performance aged her—as did the fact that she sang a freaking Celine Dion song that wasn’t originally written by Platinum Weird. (Cough cough.) She’s so not going home, though, thanks to her kids being trotted out post-performance.
Adam Lambert. Switched up “Play That Funky Music” a bit on the verses, which is good because when I saw he was singing that song I had visions of disaster in my head. It kind of worked, but for some reason I was not really feeling this performance. (I will, however, give him props for actually knowing how to work with the band to make what could have been a very disastrous song choice something —and for thanking them during the critique. Classy.) Also, can we just talk about his hair. His hair! It was higher than Vanilla Ice’s “Ice Ice Baby” ‘do! Have tough times forced Aqua Net to be a presenting sponsor of Idol?
Kris Allen. “Ain’t No Sunshine” was probably the best performance of the night, a stripped-down arrangement in which he surrounded himself with fetching instrumentalists. There was some weird breathing into the microphone at the end, though. Could be the new favorite, what with his squeaky-clean cuteness and Mraztastic appeal.
REVEALING DIOGUARDISM OF THE NIGHT: “All right, you get up and do it then,” to the hecklers who booed her (kinda hacky) critique of Megan.
REVEALING DIOGUARDISM OF THE NIGHT TWO: “It was like Studio 57 up in here,” she said to Adam after “Play That Funky Music.” Oh, Kara, you and numbers just don’t get along well, do you.
WHO I WOULD HAVE VOTED FOR: No one. I was really not feeling this episode, although I did like Kris and Scott more than the others.
WHO SHOULD GO HOME: Megan? Lil?
WHO WILL GO HOME: I am kind of worried that tonight will be Anoop’s night. If it is, I hope Ne-Yo swoops in and gets him in a room for some serious songwriting and shows the dumb Idol judges what’s what.
Adam Lambert’s hair is a thing of majesty.
You know what bugs me most about Lil rounds? Every fifth note or so is off. Sure, she may be able to hit some of the money notes but her passing notes are all over the place. Even those big notes tend to dip and she has a bad habit of sliiiiding up to the note too.
She’s all power and pomp and very little control.
I’m surprised the judges don’t call her on that.
Oh, Kara, you and numbers just don’t get along well, do you.
Give her credit for counting it out with her fingers — and getting it right — when she said to Kris: “I have three words for you: that…is…artistry…”
@sicksteanein: The way you describe her, it’s almost like she’s the Jay Cutler of American Idol contestants.
Last night was the trainwreck that I had been waiting for. How do you have a “Top Downloads” night that involves all of two current-ish hits. WTF?
@sicksteanein: these judges don’t know the meaning of the word ‘restraint.’
@Rob Murphy: She’s big on this “artistry” kick, isn’t she?
My BF and I were confused by the “Studio 57″ comment… until we realized she was an idiot. After all, this is the woman who thinks the sitar is from Egypt.
::sigh::
So the judges will like Lil Rounds if she just sings all Mary J. songs from here until the end, right? That’s what she’s supposed to do, right?
Just chiming in to say that I saw about half this episode in a bar with some sassy neighborhood ladies; it was the most Idol I’ve ever been able to take! I thought Allison looked cute and Megan pathetic.
Overall, this was a pretty terrible episode – from the lack of mentor to the “Songs that were hits at some point in history” theme…
I’ve started a new game watching Idol this season, which is trying to guess ahead of the comments what song the judges are going to say they wished the contestant had sung instead. I was 3-for-3 last night with “Chasing Pavements”, “Apologize” and Mary J. Speaking of which, I still have to figure out how “Chasing Pavements” would have showcased more of Megan Joy’s, ahem, “range” when it is almost exactly in the same range as the song she sang.
As for Anoop, I just want Teddy Riley to snap him up and record a new Blackstreet album with him. Also, Allison looked like she’d been styled by a really big Jem fan, didn’t she?
@Thierry: “Speaking of which, I still have to figure out how “Chasing Pavements” would have showcased more of Megan Joy’s, ahem, “range” when it is almost exactly in the same range as the song she sang.”
Seriously! Kara is such an idiot, UGH.
i don’t understand how the only criticisms they had for poor allison were for dressing like an anime character and yet they allow that adam person to look like he shared a stylist this week with the Dirty Work-era Stones and the punks from Quincy.
i also don’t understand how anyone could get through adam’s performance without cringing at the horrifically unfunky late-Elvis arrangement (and ‘dancing’) but maybe that’s my bias against his stupid face informing my judgments.
if he looked as much like meatloaf as he sings i might like him more.
oh em gee, my favorite crazy leakblogger is recapping idol now:
[www.musicistheheartofoursoul.com]
this girl is in college, btw. THE FUTURE IS NOW.
@Pareene: Dude! Nice to see you in these parts of the internets.
@Maura, @all: Plus I loved most of her proto-kinderwhore look (well, the white shoes were a bit much), which for some reason Randy hated…
I also did not get the hateration on Allison’s outfit, especially because Gwen Stefani turned *16* in 1985, and I imagine that’s just about exactly how she would have been dressed at that time. Fuschia hair and all.
Also, Maura must have a bug in my brain, because I also used the word “proto”, calling it “Allison’s proto-Gwen-goes-to-an-80′s-party look”. Also.
I agree with virtually all of the above, esp. Lil and missed notes, Allison’s outfit being overly dissed, etc.
I also want to chime in this particular week on hating the Gokester — god, this time, I’m totally with you. Did Danny’s singing sound different in the theater than it did on TV? Because to my ears he was (Rascal) flatt (ha!) on more than half the song, and the whole thing was lifeless. Dreadful. He really deserves bottom-three placement for that. Maybe this will be the week he finally has his scare a la Matt/Scott last week (not likely, but a boy can dream).
in addition to hating on alison’s outfit, the whole “wannabe” criticism (anoop and alison were the victims last night) is getting soooo tired. uh… yeah?! they literally want to be the next american idol, and they are emulating stars that they admire, and aspire to be like.
the judges have dubbed certain contestants (read: gokey and lambert) as somehow authentic and they get a free pass on that whole thing, while everybody else struggles to achieve an identity that pleases the fickle judges. randy never says to gokey, “yo yo check it out…you’re trying too hard to do the whole michael bolton thing…it wasn’t working for me, dawg.”
and no one ever dares tell lambert that he is just channeling freddie mercury (in, admittedly, his own freakish operatic way).
because those two, you know…are singular geniuses or something.
@chim_richalds: and who have been popular in this country in the last five years! much as i like adam, i again have to say that the u.s. has not really embraced the over-the-top, glam, slightly femme guy at all.
@Audif Jackson Winters III: Touché.
@chim_richalds: See, I think Axl Rose when I hear Adam. I’d like to hear him do “Welcome to the Jungle” one night. Or “What It Takes” by Aerosmith.
at all LATELY. sorry, all these “jokes” on the internet today have made me a bit frazzled.
also, unrelated, but the leakblogger’s mention of the show reminded me:
my wife was watching dancing with the stars while i was doing my fantasy baseball draft (that sentence is embarrassing on several levels) but i overheard the host say something like, “…and that was the lowest judges score since the infamous Master P refused to put on the proper shoes.”
priceless.
@sickteanein: wow, never put together the axl similarities, but you’re totally right!
@sicksteanein: I’d love to hear him do Sweet Child O’ Mine.
@Quinacridone: I will not stop demanding that Adam Lambert sing Judas Priest’s “Breaking the Law”. “Rock Week” NEEDS to happen.
The judges were awful less night, Kara was the worst, but nothing tops Paula’s gem of comparing Adam to Mick Jagger and Steven Tyler.
Really, Paula? Some wannabe mall punk kid sounds like Mick Jagger?
@Jerkwheat:
I totally went into this episode thinking they were going to have to sing songs from the current Top 40. As soon as Anoop started up with Usher’s caught up I literally sank in my chair like “aww man, they meant ‘ARTISTS’, who have been in the Top 40 at ANY point in their careers.” [Hence the faux history lesson for a minute in Ryan's studio when he dropped Casey Kasem's name?]
And let’s be real. This was a Top 40 night. These kids were supposed to stunt like chart toppers right? Too many of these performances lacked any sort of connection and/or charisma with the audience. For my money there was only one good performance of the night that encapsulated what the night called for, and it was Allison’s. And yeah when they introduced the Top 9 at the top of the show I was all, damn, these kids’ stylists need to be shot, but you know what, I didn’t pay any attention to her outfit AT ALL the way the judges did during her performance, because I was too busy BEING ENTERTAINED.
all i know is that paula abdul put adam lambert in the same category with mick jagger and steven tyler. i almost puked and fell out of my chair. it’s bad enough when this talentless idiot tells these contestants what musical geniuses they are, but to put this lambert fellow in the same breath as jagger is too silly for me to even get anymore upset over.
paula abdul is a sad joke.
meanwhile, apparently there are no limits to scott’s hair:
@Thierry: Exactly! he embodies my wildest AI dreams.
Also, Adamn. Look dawg, yes, you can sing, but let’s see how long you can hold onto those pristine vocal chords if you have to do those intense reach for the stars acrobatics at the close of EVERY SONG to make up for the fact that what came before it was kind of a hot.mess. I mean really people, what was that? The lights, the arrangement, the Disco Stu like dance moves and persona. All I could think of was Neil Diamond in his hey day, image and show wise, and I am still up in the air as to whether this is a good thing or a bad thing.
@derby: The funny thing is that Paula started that list, and then finally ended up with ” … and Adam Lambert.” And I thought, “who?” Then I realized she was talking about the guy performing, not some legend of pop music I somehow wasn’t aware of.
omg that picture wtf
serious question: does paula read off a teleprompter/cue cards or something? she’s become totally excruciating to watch on this show this season, whereas for year or two she’d merely been painful
Did anyone else notice David Spade take his gum out and stick it underneath his chair while Randy was critiquing someone towards the end?
I think the Loli-dress will benefit Allison in the end. If everyone talks about her dress (which I loved, including shoes, swoon!) then we won’t have to deal with the fact that she actually sounded terrible for the majority of her performance.
I suspect artistry = sounding like the pop star you most physically resemble in the eyes of the judges SIGH!
Whenever Anoop turns into NoopDawg, he focuses all his attention and energy on his poses and facial expressions. His voice can’t compete with that.
But alas, I think Matt G. is at an end.
Was Adam going for the “Edward Cullen” look last night with his hair? Or Johnny Suede? I am confused.
@Thierry: Well, if next week is “Song from your birth year” week, like Paula said earlier today, and Adam was born in 1982, it would be criminal of him not to sing “Another Thing Coming.”
Scott sucks. His voice is boring. He looks creepy, and he’s just terrible to listen to. He should be long gone by now. We all knew EXACTLY what his version of the BJ jam was going to sound like as soon as they announced it. Dude makes Dan Fogelberg sound like Joe Strummer. Boo.
@sniffle: yes, clear as day. its during randy’s feedback for lil.
Does anyone think Lady Gaga has a good voice?