Last night, American Idol brought Quentin Tarantino in for Songs From The Movies night, and he was probably one of the best mentors the show’s ever seen, honestly. (He was completely geeking out the whole time, and it was kind of great how he treated his mentorship like directing a movie, and talked about the whole package of each performance—hey, he tried to rein in Danny Gokey’s preacher hand movements, albeit to no avail.) But the night overall was something of a dud, thanks in large part to the unfortunate song choices—seriously, two Bryan Adams tracks?—that made me think that my idea to restrict the night’s repertoire to songs that had appeared on Tarantino soundtracks should have been employed. Although I guess doing so would have resulted in Kara calling every song “obscure,” since she gave that tag to the song that won the freaking Best Song Oscar two years ago. (This freakin’ show.) On to the rankings!
7. Lil Rounds. You know, part of me feels for Lil, in that the judges’ constant attempts to turn her into Mary K. Blige must be real annoying to whoever she might be as an “artist.” But honestly, her performance of “The Rose” just wasn’t very good—she seemed unable to stay on one note for longer than a milisecond, and when she got loud, she screeched. (Raise your hands if Lil’s ascent has made you question whether or not Syesha Mercado was underrated.) The question now is: Will her clock-running-out backtalking of the judges result in her fanbase stepping up to the phones?
6. Danny Gokey. More like Danny Hokey, amirite? I’m sure this was chosen to conjure up images of The Dead Wife, although the idea that he was singing both sides of the Diana Ross-Lionel Richie duet “Endless Love” to himself is more than plausible.
5. Matt Giraud. Who knew that Quentin Tarantino was such a Bryan Adams fan? That was pretty much the only revelatory part about Matt’s performance of Adams’ song from Don Juan, which had an odd weariness to it. Only a few more weeks, guys!
4. Allison Iraheta. Any time someone sings “I Don’t Want To Miss A Thing” on this show, I am taunted with memories of the spectacularly awful Antonella Barba. Unfortunately, the track lends itself to those comparisons; it’s monotonic on the verses, and has way, way too much yarling potential—and Allison, sweet Allison, fell into both those traps during her underwhelming performance. How many songs did the contestants have to pick from this week, eight?
3. Adam Lambert. “Adam Lambert sings ‘Born To Be Wild’”—you can probably ballpark it from the description, no? The musical-theater nerds of the world are so excited to be having their moment right now.
2. Anoop Desai. Let it be said that I think Adams’ Robin Hood song is one of the most annoying pieces of Walgreens Rock I’ve ever heard—it’s schlocky, it’s plodding. But on a night where the song choices ranged from “eye-rolling” to “oh boy, not more Bryan Adams,” Anoop’s velvety voice shone (OK, it faltered at a couple of points, but it was mostly pretty good). Ne-Yo, call him soon!
1. Kris Allen. I might be overrating him because of my annoyance at Kara, who called “Falling Slowly” obscure, and Randy, who continued to seem completely unable to appreciate any song that can’t be melismatically slaughtered by Mariah Carey. But “Falling Slowly” is also a tough song to translate to the Idol stage, given that it’s so delicate, the exact opposite of Glambert’s over-the-topness. Despite a few rough spots, I thought he showed a lot of soul.
WHO SHOULD GO HOME: Lil. I mean, right?
WHO WILL GO HOME: My faith that America will get this right is not very high. Kris is in last on DialIdol, and the Hokebot is in first! And Lil in second? Ugh.
WHO I WOULD HAVE VOTED FOR: Kris and Anoop.
REVEALING DIOGUARDISM OF THE NIGHT: I still can’t get over her tagging of “Falling Slowly” as obscure. Was there a Platinum Weird rehearsal that she just couldn’t miss in February 2008?
American Idol [Official site]
i can’t believe how harsh people are being on the dog, but paula gets a pass? randy is horribly inarticulate, but at least he usually has a recognizable point. its just painful to hear paula talk - she makes sense maybe 10% of the time.
“What was with Simon making a blow job face when Kara was talking? Did anyone else see that?”
I think he was indicating that he wanted to jump in and say something, because whatever Kara was saying was ridiculous (if I remember correctly, it was calling “Everything I Do (I Do It For You)” a “rock song.”
@ghostyhead:
Yeah, I think it is a total non-issue. Look at Jason Castro and Hallelujah last year. Probably 90% of the American Idol viewing masses had never heard the song (outside of being used in Shrek), but it was one of Castro’s best performances, the judges loved it, and the song jumped to the top of itunes. So obscurity doesn’t factor in nearly as much as judges who point out obscurity, no?
@whoneedslight: As Mike Barthel will tell you, Hallelujah has been used a few more places than Shrek.
Adam should have done Jesus Christ Superstar. I always find myself thinking about what songs he should do.
Adam doing “You Could Be Mine” from T2 would have been the shiznit.
@Sniffle: MOTION CARRIED OMG
Once again, my prayers for a performance of Elliott Smith’s “Miss Misery” on Idol’s Movie Night have gone unanswered. *sigh*
If Anoop wasn’t struggling to survive week after week and could afford a more ‘obscure’ choice, I think he could’ve killed it. That being said, I think he was tied with Kris for best performance of the night. Word on the Ne-Yo call, Maura (though I’d be okay if Teddy Riley called too!).
@janine: I agree. It may not be some white label song or whatever, but for the average Idol viewer (read: teenage to early 20s females), it’s not exactly “Since U Been Gone.”
And Kris did the best job. I hope DialIdol is wrong!
@baykon: “you dare to run down the path of greatness”
wtf was that about? and i literally had to fast-forward thru adam’s performance. oh my god, i hate him.
@righteousmaelstrom: No way, dog. Adam Lambert’s voice is not deep enough to sing Hedwig’s songs with any justice. They should be throaty and dripping with innuendo and dosed with the fatigue of living. Adam needs to live about 10 more years on the planet before he’s allowed to touch Angry Inch. And for that matter, I would never, ever want to hear him murder Midnight Radio. Never.
Matt was by far the worst on what turned out to be a dismal show. Kris gets big points for actually trying something different. Anoop did a great job with a song we’re all sick of. I think Tarantino really helped him. Gokey(Maura’s Fave!) on the other hand, really didn’t listen to Tarantino at all and it made his performance very distracting because you were watching his hands the whole time. Lil or Matt will probably hit the bricks tonight.
Well, to DioGuardi’s credit (ha), that was the least-watched Oscars telecast in modern history, wasn’t it? Still, nice job by Kris which really should’ve been appreciated more. Even though it creeps me out that he opens his eyes really wide for high notes. It’s like making out with someone who won’t close their eyes. And yes, my brain took me to the making-out place when talking about Kris.
But yeah, not my favorite night. It did, however, make me wish we lived in the kind of world that would allow for an Adam / Allison finale — can you IMAGINE the hilarious RAWK those two would bring out to go head-to-head against each other?
I’m a fan of the Glambert, but any time he tries to “rock out” makes me kinda shake my head. And “Born to be Wild” is a totally lazy choice, the kind of thing Hokey would do (”See? This song was TOTALLY ONCE in a movie!!”)
As for Hokey: whatevs. Grandmas love douches who sing to their dead wives.
I think if Kris gets canned, he’ll get the save. If it’s Lil, she might be gone; Simon’s probably done with her. But really, what is she to do? She got shoehorned into a Mary J. Blige position, and she doesn’t have anywhere near the chops to try something outside of that.
What a boring night. With the exception of Adam and Kris, I may as well have been listening to my local EZ-Rock station.
Not feeling the Anoop love either. Decent voice, but the only thing he can do well are treacly and boring ballads.
Bleh.
Raise your hands if Lil’s ascent has made you question whether or not Syesha Mercado was underrated./b>
Hand raised! Last night sealed it for me- I just don’t like the tone of her voice, plain and simple. I’ve never been into the Diva contestants, and I feel like they only put her in to satisfy the viewers who go for that type of music.
The whole show was pretty disappointing, and I’m with you, Maura- I wish it could have been QT Movie Soundtrack Songs only, but alas. THIS is American Idol, after all. Also, Kris deserved much, much more credit for what he attempted to do, and didn’t do a horrible job with.
@dyfl: Yeah, it was the least-watched Oscars, so… 1 billion people world-wide instead of 1.2 billion? Just because you didn’t write it, Kara, doesn’t mean that it’s obscure.
I agree that it’s a very delicate and tough song to song, but I think Kris very much did it justice. The very things that Randy DIDN’T like about it were the reasons I thought he did it well. The voice SHOULD BE about to break during the song to give it the emotion it deserves. But hey, what do I know? I like “obscure” songs, I guess.
@ghostyhead: Actually, I’m not even sure what Randy didn’t like about it, other than “pitchy”. He is the most inarticulate, overpaid TV personality out there.
From EW.com’s review…pretty funny and/or frustrating when you see his words transcribed word for word:
“But not even…Kara…have offered up a critique as inarticulate and wrong-minded as Randy’s review of Kris Allen’s ”Falling Slowly” tonight. Let’s roll the tape (transcribed word for word…I kid you not):
”Yo, Kris. All right, so check it out man. Uh, dude, for me…for me, for you tonight dude, I gotta tell you somethin’ man, I don’t know, I didn’t - it never quite caught on - for me. And I love, and yo, I love…I love that song. But for me it was pitchy from note one for me. For me!”
Seriously, Randy? Seriously? I’m so mad right now that I’m falling back on two-year-old Grey’s Anatomy-isms. I mean, let’s look at a description of your multimillion-dollar job: You sit at a table for an hour or two each week and half-listen to wannabe pop stars singing their guts out, then you (theoretically) offer critiques that will help guide America’s vote and help the contestants improve their performances the following week. And yet tonight you managed to use the phrase ”for me” a total of six times in 24 seconds? Dude, the ”for me” is freakin’ implied!”
Idolator and EW are my Wed morning post-AI ritual.
@dsven: They’re my ritual, too. I wish the majority of viewers were as sick of Randy and his non-critiques as Slezak is.
How does Quentin agree to mentor a show in hopes of promoting his new movie when they don’t even allow him or Seacrest to say the title of it?
Maura, I think you nailed it on the rankings (maybe Lambert and Allison switch positions but that’s it). Lil was bad (wtf on that rising last note), and Anoop made me kinda like that song — but I got over it.
The whole time Lambert was singing all I could think was “I can’t wait until he’s in a revival of Hedwig and The Angry Inch!”
1) (raising hand!!! I had a first-class ticket on the Syesha train last season)
2) dull, dull, dull nite. I blame the generic “sing any damn song from any damn movie” “theme”.
3) Anoop had a serious Luther+(Ne-Yo) thing going on, didn’t he? I thought he nailed that song.
4) As much as I love Allison, that performance was maybe just a’ight for me, Dog. For me! She’s lucky (I hope) that Lil, Matt and Danny were also pretty meh.
@dsven: God, it’s even worse in print! Uggh. Randy Jackson needs to go away. Isn’t there a Journey tour he can be fucking up right now?
@ghostyhead: I think Kara’s right. Ask 10 non-music nerds to recite the chorus or hum the tune and come back to me. The best song winner (when it’s not Prince, Elton John, Three 6 Mafia, or Celine or something like that) is not forever remembered. I think it was kind of a moment in music nerd circles, because it was a winner they could get behind, but that pebble caused only a small ripple the water. You look at Google Trends and there’s nothin’ followed by this two-week spike after the Oscars and then nothin’. Look, I don’t make the rules…
It was good to see the band finally get off the cruise ship (on Adam’s song at least). That drummer can play.
Anybody else notice QT’s orthopedic shoes? Dude, you look Frankenstein in those.
Ok–can we discuss this “2 judges only” nightmare?
Because That was the Worst idea Idol’s had this season–and that’s saying a lot. If the director can’t manage a live one hour show, then he should be fired. Period. As it was, even with the 2 judges only, they still ran over. Inexcusable.
The reason Lil is second on dialidol tonight is because she only had Paula and Simon judge her. Paula might as well not have been there, but Simon, with no one reigning him in, exploded with his rage at her turning out to be a dud. With no cushioning of Randy and Kara’s giving opinions, it came off as him taking his opinion of her failure as a personal insult. If randy and katra had spoken and also given “That Was Not Good” opinions, Lil’s backtalk suddenly would have been like she was pouting at all four judges, and would have made her look egotistical and bad–which is what they wanted. She’d probably be on the short list to go home. Instead because she was calm, and Simon was not, she came out looking like the better person, her fan base was riled up, and she got way more votes than she should have.
This “only two judges judge” thing has not only saved her this week, but I would not be surprised if it bought her at least one more.
Total FAIL.
I don’t think she’s totally offbase on “obscure” for “Falling Slowly”, at least as obscure as an Oscar winning song can be. Yes, it had a huge iTunes run and got its moment in front of a billion people for the Oscars, so it’s not exactly a minor song. But I don’t really remember it getting major radio airplay, and that’s something that pretty much all of the other choices for the night had.
We’re all music nerds (as janine pointed out) so its shocking to us that people might not know “Falling Slowly”, but I bet a large chunk of the viewing audience last night didn’t. Which is a shame. And hopefully they discover the soundtrack this morning.
@Varina: Me too, I love Slezak and the “on the scene” reports they do, even if sometimes they try too hard to be cutesy.
I would have put Kris up top, too, just based on song choice and Randy’s stupid comments. I was disappointed in Allison for choosing such a crap song but she’s so charming and cute I don’t care.
After Carly left last season I became a champion of Syesha and even got other people to vote for her. She is leaps and bounds better than Lil and Danny, for sure.
@anibundel: And the funny thing is they ran over by the 2 or 3 minutes that they took setting up the fact that they were revising the judges plan so that they would come in on time!
@anibundel: Totally. I voted for Lil three times last night for those exact reasons.
@janine: @pr0FF3ss0r_j3rkwh3at: True enough, but for me it’s just indicative of a larger problem that’s been bugging me about Idol this season: Any song that hasn’t sold 10 bazillion copies and been played on the radio until everyone in the universe is sick of it is called “obscure” or something like that. Umm, so what? Isn’t it all about the song and the way the singer performs it? Isn’t a cover always going to be compared to the original? So it would seem to me that an obscure song would be a BETTER choice, since there are fewer preconceived notions about it.
But hey, that’s just my opinion. Albeit one that’s better articulated than anything Randy Jackson has ever said in his ENTIRE LIFE…
As usual I always agree with what Maura writes.
I hated, hated, hated the two judge critique. What was with Simon making a blow job face when Kara was talking? Did anyone else see that?
I like Anoop, for some reason that voice coming out of his mouth still stumps me but I agree he is boring and blah and can only sing ballads.
I like Allison, a lot but last night was pretty awful. Her breathy growly whispers in the beginning made me cringe.
I laughed out loud when I read Maura’s theater geek comment because I was thinking the EXACT same thing as I watched it. At least he is giving some hope and confidence to those tortured high school kids that there is something after high school. Still, I can’t stand him for some reason.
Quentin was “just awlright, dawg” for me, I was kinda hoping for him to give them more. I do love his absolute love for American Idol, his giddy school girl love makes me happy.
@ghostyhead: Wait, is “obscure” pejorative?
@janine: The way Kara uses it? Yes.
@King of Pants: i assume you’re talking about the 1987 Howie Mandel vehicle “Walk Like a Man”