You know who’s coming back to perform on tonight’s American Idol? Taylor Hicks, the season-five winner who angered Simon Cowell for his lack of “bona fide recording artist” credentials. But you know who one of Cowell’s top picks to go all the way is this year? Danny Gokey, whose overall stage presence keeps reminding me of Hicks–only Gokey has a little less polish, a lot more smugness, and a super-extensive eyewear collection. Last night’s parade of Rat Pack songs was no exception, yet Cowell seemed in the tank for Gokey anyway, continuing his press tour rantings about the Wisconsin worship leader’s singing ability even though there were at least three other singers who completely owned him on the Idol stage.
5. Danny Gokey. So about The Gokester. The whole interaction between him and Jamie Foxx in the pre-performance clip–where Foxx used the old movie-director trick of throwing an artist off guard by getting in his face and forcing him to sing, which actually kind of freaked him out a bit–made me realize that part of the reason I have been so cold toward him is that there’s been this wall up for him, an almost Archuletan inability to surrender to artistry in a way that might make him vulnerable to his smiley-happy voting base. He’s so calculated, from the dead-wife thing to the glasses to the “finish big” audience manipulation, and tonight was just another example of that.
But Simon loved it. Which is just weird, since you would think Taylor Hicks–the man who basically broke Idol, remember–being the Returning Idol on tonight’s results show would serve as sort of a cautionary tale for the Gokey apologists sitting behind the Coke cups. But it was not to be. Please tell me, smart readers of this column: Who the hell would, as Randy claimed, buy an album of Blueshammer-ish yarling that always opens up into Really Meaning It at the end? How many copies has Taylor Hicks’ second album sold? I know that I’m something of a niche market, but really, I’d rather have a thousand Kris Allens any day.
4. Adam Lambert. His version of Muse’s “Feelin’ Good” was OK, but there was something… missing. The difference between his camera-gaze at the end of his performance on the actual show and the one that ran during the “phone lines are open” package (which was taken from the dress rehearsal) was very startling, almost as if he lost his confidence in the hour and a half that elapsed between the two. It got the usual huzzahs from the judges, but I felt it was hollow (not to mention a bit pitchy at the end).
3. Matt Giraud. A very Elvis Costello-ish version of “My Funny Valentine” that was competent enough (it is a really tough song to sing), although the perils of HD revealed themselves when I found myself concentrating on his facial expressions more than his actual performance.
2. Kris Allen. If the pre-roll is to be believed, he’s Jamie Foxx’s favorite, and I have to say the way he worked the microphone was very old-school crooner. A few off notes here and there, but overall he played “The Way You Look Tonight” pretty well; Kara liked the “technical standard” he was setting So what was Simon’s problem? Calling him a “well-trained spaniel”? And “Wet”? (Not “Wet Wet Wet”?) This was the first time during the evening that I wondered if there was some reverse psychology going on. You can probably guess the second one!
1. Allison Iraheta. Her performance of “Someone To Watch Over Me” was absolutely outstanding, on point and brimming with confidence Sure, Randy’s calling her style “like Pink but with 9,000 more octaves” was a little, um, ignorant of Pink’s style. And I was glad Kara liked her! But what was the deal with Simon putting her on the spot and asking her if she could win right now, then attributing her perceived shortfalls to “personality,” yet another reverse-psychology way to rally her base? And the real question: Would she even be as appealing if she is if she had a Gokeyian ego?
WHO I VOTED FOR: Kris and Allison. Clearly, the reverse psychology worked.
WHO SHOULD GO HOME: Take a guess!
WHO WILL GO HOME: Maybe Matt?
REVEALING DIOGUARDISM OF THE NIGHT: “I love you, but you are crazy,” to Simon. Um, this will not really quash those rumors of dischord, hon.
American Idol [Official site]
Thank you, thank you, thank you, for calling out Matt and Adam, both of whom missed at least as many notes as they hit. Adam’s performance actually made me question whether one of the reasons I don’t like his schtick is that he maybe actually always misses half his notes, and that he’s just good at covering it up?
And word on both the love for Allison’s performance and the WTF-ery on Simon’s “criticism”. I thought that was very classless of him to put her on the spot like that.
P.S. Happy 17th B’day Allison!
/caps in the 2d round
I definitely think Simon was judging tactically — he was almost certainly trying to rally Allison’s base. I think he secretly quite likes her. Maybe I’m wrong.
I voted for her, I admit it. And I really shouldn’t vote for this show.
And yes, Danny Gokey is just unbelievably unbearable, and I’m gonna be furious if he stays in the race longer than Allison. But he will. Ugh. Giraud goes home tonight, for certain, and Allison will probably go next week unless Kris Allen really blows it.
There was totally some reverse psychology going on from Simon. especially w/r/t Allison. He didn’t really pan her performance as much as mobilize her fanbase.
Kris–ok, I get it. I get it. He looks like Hal Sparks Jr. He’s young and heart throbby, and when he eyefucks the camera it’s a subtle smolder. But I also understand what Simon doesn’t like about it. American idol is a broad, loud show. Think about the past winners–Kelly, Fantasia, Taylor, Carrie, David–what do these guys all have in common? They are big bombastic singers. They are not subtle. Kris is SUBTLE. As Idolatry pointed out–he’s the guy you forget is the “other guy” on the show until he comes out and blows you away with a beautiful nuanced performance. But in Simon’s eyes, nuance and subtly are for small clubs–not for platinum recording artists. I think this is the origin of the “wet” comment that Simon gave–meaning Kris was a bit of a wet blanket, a downer.
Gokey–Jamie Foxx really got to the heart of Danny’s problem–he’s not connecting with the audience–he’s turned inward and so, unless you are in his voting block that he’s pandering to with his evangelical dogwhistling, you don’t care about him. I thought this might have been the best Danny performance to date. But it also highlighted why i don’t like him. Danny is Smarmy. But he’s like, not aware that he’s smarmy. I got this idea half way through his performance tonight that it’s like an affliction–he’s this genuine guy who has no idea how much of a gross greaseball he oozes when he’s on stage. he’s up there trying so hard to be genuine and likeable and sing with meaning, and yet he has no idea how much gross he comes off. What a terrible disease he has!
Allison. Foxx gave her good advice, but it only served to highlight what is really wrong with her and why she can’t win.
She’s 16. She’s a prodigy. She can sing the pants off these songs–but the ‘emotional connection” is play acting. it’s not real. that’s totally what I got from Someone to watch over Me. Marni was agog at how beautifully she sang it. And she did sing it beautifully. But there was a level where that’s all she did. She was a giggly 16 year old, babbling on about her birthday and then she flipped a switch and sang this thing, and then she flipped the switch back off again. It felt unreal.
Matt is two weeks expired and starting to smell. WHY did Simon overpraise him like that? Is he using reverse psychology to make it so matt’s fans get complacent? WTF??!! I was NOT impressed. Sorry.
Adam: Simon had it just right: “Complaining that Adam is a bit theatrical is like complaining that a cow goes moo.”
Wow that was long, sorry.
@anibundel: but as far as 16-year-olds go, you have to admit that allison > jordin.
Watching Adam last night reminded me of a review of The Cherry Sisters from 1898: “the mouths of their rancid features opened like caverns and sounds like the wailings of damned souls issued therefrom.”
Also, if Danny were black, and Christian, you would give him a pass. He is, however, white and Christian, so you hate him.
@Rheinhold Squeegee: Hahahahahahahahahhahahahaha
@Rheinhold Squeegee: That was directed toward the second part of your statement, btw. Thanks, though, for just clicking through and not reading my reasoning for my dislike of the Gokester! You’re not really helping your argument there.
Danny was TERRIBLE yesterday. Simon? Really? That being said, was with Simon all the way on Matt. Other than some of the runs that didn’t really jive with the rest of the song style-wise, his off-notes, for me, were exactly the swagger of the rat pack era the judges claimed Danny pulled off so well (so not). You listen to Sinatra and wonder sometimes if he’s even following the band, but that’s what makes the interpretation so amazing, and Matt got that. Was it an accident? Maybe, but it worked.
As soon as Adam said he was singing I’m Feeling Good, I knew it would tank, I think it was too mainstream for him to really put his stamp on it and it ended up being a hollow performance: Adam on the outside – and he is GOOD at what he does no doubt – but no guts.
Re: Allison being young: so what? Enough singers who broke young went on to have successful careers, because they were good!! She was more than good last night, I also put her at number 1 for it.
@Maura: No arguments with that. None. In fact, this was my problem with Jordin in Season Six–she seemed to be a performing doll.
I think the problem with Allison that Jordin didn’t have was that Jordin was going for the more old fashioned Mariah Carey vibe (which we all know Randy and Simon eat up), whereas Allison looks like she just maxed out her mother’s entire credit card library at Hot Topic. I’m sure if you said that to Simon, he’d say “What’s a Hot Topic?”
I’ll object to the claim that Taylor Hicks broke idol. It was the Jordan Sparks/Blake Lewis season that broke the show. Did that season have anyone compelling that people wanted to vote for? Obviously not since Jordan won. Not that I have anything major against her, but meh… Have you ever heard anyone say they are a Jordan Sparks fan? She was just the least annoying of them all. It seemed like everyone, even the contestants, just wanted to get it over. Chris Sligh practically voted himself off halfway through. And Sanjaya….
Its a shame too, because it was coming off one of the best seasons. The Hicks/McPhee/Yamin battle was completely compelling. And you had Kellie Pickler in the mix for entertainment. It was a completely fun season to watch that had David Hasselhoff crying at the end. Then they follow it up with Blake Lewis and Melinda Doolittle. It seems clear to me that they were pinning all their hopes on Melinda to carry through and a majority of America found her completely uninteresting. I think its pretty telling that the show has not invited anyone back from that season to perform.
Granted, Taylor Hicks has not done well with his albums, but there is “marketable” and then there is “marketable by the AI machine.” With the right producers and writers and everything, Taylor Hicks might have been marketable. The problem is that 19 productions (or whatever the hell it is called) only knows how to make over-produced pop schlock. Roots rock is not its thing and the guy lost all credibility as a real blues/rock singer. Its the same thing that happened with Bo Bice.
I totally disagree, Allison is one of the realest teens to be on TV in a bit (outside of True Life or Made). She’s awkward. Remember that early episode when they were on the smaller stage and she mumbled about hating school while not looking at Ryan? That’s real. And of course she looks like a baby who’s purchased fake authenticity at a Hot Topic, she’s a teen.
@janinedm: right, and there was also that awkward joke about cutting herself!
Please tell me, smart readers of this column: Who the hell would, as Randy claimed, buy an album of Blueshammer-ish yarling that always opens up into Really Meaning It at the end?
My mom would. Because she likes Michael Bolton.
I HAVE TO COME OUT AND SAY THIS FINALLY: gokey looks like a bloated robert downey jr. minus any of the charm inherent in robert downey jr. it’s like gokey got the douchebag smarminess of rdj, but forgot to try to mimic any of the dude’s sense of humor about himself. plus gained 30lbs but bear with me here. I HATE HIM SO MUCH.
also i thought adam lambert was better than matt giraud tonight tho i would like him much better if he’d just go ahead and dress up as liza already.
THIS JUST IN FROM SLASH’S TWITTER: “I’m going to attempt to make “Rock Week” on American Idol exactly that.”
Um…
@Maura: Rock weakly?
@Maura: I really need you to do a post where you explain patiently to me why my dreams of Adam doing “Welcome to the Jungle” will be dashed.
Not to start any kind of fracus, but Rheinhold Squeegee has a point about your hatred of Gokey. To say he was the worst last night is a real stretch(and you’ve said it almost every week). Kris(i.e. Jason Mraz) even admitted he has the least distinctive voice of the final 5 competitors. He’s good, but kind of boring. Allison is fine for a 17 year old, but not great.
A lot of sites are taking cheap shots at Gokey and throwing the Taylor Hicks reference in with every other word. To me, Hicks is from the south and has a southern blues slant(He plays the harmonica. Duh!) to his voice. Sort of like Joe Cocker if he was from the Alabama. Gokey doesn’t sound like that at all. And no it’s not like Bolton either. His tone is very similar to Luther Vandross(check out the iTunes studio tracks) and maybe Michael McDonald, which the judges have already referenced. I’m not saying his vocals are even close to theirs, but his tone is close.
The race is Adam’s to lose. There’s no reason to get bothered by any of the other contestants.
100% agreement that it wasn’t Hicks that broke AI, but the season AFTER that (a.k.a. the one Jordin pretty much won by default). Season 5 was easily the best season since the show’s second season (a.k.a the one Clay Aiken DIDN’T win), in that it had the best overall talent mix. Hicks the entertainer, Elliott the everyfan who made it to the AI stage, Daughtry!, and even the comical but underrated Kellie Pickler. Even Princess P(aris) and Kat McPhee were pretty darn good. That top 6 was better than almost anything before (the AI2 top 5 were the best top 5 ever, IMO), and I think that the fiery hatred some people have toward Hicks clouds their memories of what I think was Idol’s last truly great seasons.
On my own personal score sheet, I had it as (bottom to top) Kris – Matt – Danny – Allison – Adam. As I’ve discussed w/ Rob Murphy a couple of times, there’s really only room in the top 4 for one of Kris or Matt. I think the show wanted Matt there, but got Kris instead. Six of one, half-dozen of the other. I think Allison’s got her ticket punched to the Top 3 after that performance Tuesday night, but that’s where she goes “Home Sweet Home” and we sit back and watch the inevitable Adam vs. Danny finale the show’s been building toward for weeks now.
Dudes (& Dudettes):
I’m a really old dude (’60′s singer), and this is the first season I’ve bothered to watch this show. I love watching young talent, but absolutely hate the concept of three or four “wanna be’s,” and “old talent” judge the hearts of young, vibrant NEW talent.
At the point at which the show whittled the contestants down to 12,
it was ALL too evident who the two finalists would be. Even though Adam covers his few mistakes with his amazing high pitches, he and Chris (lovely little face and all), will be the final two.
These are all talented youngsters. But, I’ve seen singers as talented as any, and musicians as talented as the best fail to make anything of their music careers in my 57 years. And, I’ve personally met and partied with some of those who did and died young.
I applaud all these kids! But this is SHOWBIZ!!! Really? It takes 60 minutes to tell us that one will be eliminated? But, hey! I’d take the producers bank account anyday :>)
Adam and Chris WILL be the final two, and it will be interesting watching America vote. VERY interesting. Simply based upon the judges comments over the past four weeks, it’s simple to see Chris and Adam have impressed totally. Even considering this Tuesday’s outstanding performance by the lone female (16? Jeez), at best she’s third. I think the only question remaining is whether she will go next or . . .
But Chris and Adam will make the most dramatic and most plausable final two. And, America will watch. MY vote would be for Chris. Most reliable from week to week. Less edgy than Adam? Sure, but he hits most of his notes while Adam makes up for a LOT of misses with one final SCREAM with those high notes–when he NEVER misses. It’s one outstanding high range, but overall, Chris has more talent.
I’m amazed that I can even watch this show! I’m a TV hater for years. I wouldn’t even admit to any of my hard core, desert rat, rock climbing, beer swiggin’ buddies that I EVER watch this show :>) But music is a part of me.
Good luck to all five, but no luck will be needed for this show to make a few more Jollywood morons millions and millions more much needed (?) dollars???
I’ll watch, but if you’d like to make a wager, bet your house on Chris!
All the best.
REALolddude
my response on Danny below but first I have to say I still think Adam should win, please seek out his Brigadoon, Wicked and 10 Commandments YouTubes, he really is the best singer hands down. The fact he can also sign rock is just great.
now my response; Gokey and his ‘heart’ symbol – really an ad for Lenscrafters?
On the Tuesday night show – Rat Pack Standards – Gokey made a ‘heart’ symbol with 2 hands when Ryan was recapping his phone numbers to vote. Did anyone catch it? The ‘Heart’ with 2 hands, ok, so I thought he was sending love to a fan or his church group or something, right? Well I was just watching a DVR’d Idol Wrap episode and low and behold there is this two handed heart so I stop and rewind and GUESS WHAT it is ALL OVER an Ad for Lenscrafters? I knew he was a sell out, dead wife using, churchy, but already he’s shilling for LENSCRAFTERS! what a shame after a decent performance.