Perez Hilton has sued Black Eyed Peas manager Polo Molino for battery and–please make sure you aren’t drinking anything when you read this–”infliction of emotional distress” following their altercation after the MuchMusic Video Awards on Sunday night in Toronto. You would think the roffles brought by the blowhardy blogger being able to dish out “emotional distress” as his stock in trade, only to Twitter for the wahhhmbulance when he’s forced to take it (from all sides) would be enough for a news item, wouldn’t you? But thanks to us living in The Age Of Neverending Absurdity, it gets better: The former Mario Lavandiera also wants to defend himself as a crusader for free speech! Because he’s always so accepting of others who he disagrees with, right? His lawyer’s statement after the jump.
“Perez Hilton was assaulted by the Band’s road manager because he would not agree to stop writing about the Black Eyed Peas on his website Perezhiton.com. Perez Hilton files this lawsuit to protect his freedom of speech and seeks legal redress against those who have physically assaulted him because they do not like his review of their album. Whether you love Perez or hate him, he is entitled to his freedom of speech without fear of physical violence. This lawsuit will make the statement that violence is never the answer. His First Amendment rights will be vigorously protected.”
Just remember, everyone: Constantly referring to a 15-year-old pop singer by the oh-so-witty first name of “Slutty” doesn’t emotionally hurt as much as someone’s fist. Got it?
Black Eyed Peas Manager Sued By Perez Hilton [Billboard]
Hilton’s lawyer should be a pretty mediocre attorney once he gets out of his first semester of law school.
Also, can we talk about how awesome Kelly Clarkson is?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DR–llSrcq4
I didn’t realize I had a constitutionally-protected right to call someone a “faggot” to their face “without fear of physical violence”. That’s good to know with Pride being this weekend and all.
Goddamn it. FREE SPEECH PROTECTS YOU FROM BEING CENSORED BY THE GOVERNMENT. Not from being called out as the asshole instigator that you are, you FAT FUCK.
@Maura: We can always talk about how awesome KC is. Also, I love that you’re continuing to use the Perez in a Shower Cap picture.
I hope Mr. Hilton’s lawyer doesn’t let him take the stand. He seems to have trouble remembering if he was punched by Mr. am, Mr. am’s manager, or a representitive or official of the Federal government. Or, perhaps a State govornment (under the 14th Amendment).
@k-rex: hehe- mr. am.
hilarious.
aaaand just to play devil’s advocate: just a quick review of the statement shows that he is not suing on first amendment grounds, ie, violation of the first amendment, but is rather suing someone who hit him because mr. am didnt like what he said- its a pre-emptive/deterrance kind of thing. As much as you want to hit that smug jag off (knock his stupid cap off), you might think again because he’s also a litigious, smug jag off.
not that the statment is clear. at all.
lol @ mr. am
maura, does the format of this blog not allow the use of an em dash? i always get momentarily tripped up when there’s a hyphen where a dash should be
Wow. His whole thing about violence as the ultimate, unspeakable WRONG is just…ugh, mindboggling.
I mean of course it is terrible and wrong, but so are venereal diseases. But if you engage in risky behavior, you might end up with this unfortunate consequence. & sure, charge the assailant with a crime but don’t act all appalled and shocked. Knock that shit off so it doesn’t happen to you again. I’m going to feel bad for your suffering but I’m still going to think you could have personally avoided the situation.
It’s not like it was a random assault, a rape….he was screaming epithets in someone’s face after spending years bashing them online.
Jeebus, screw him for making me think so much about this.