In news that will probably thrill people who feel that network TV needs more incoherent, self-serving screeching, E!’s Marc Malkin is reporting that Kara DioGuardi has signed a deal to return to the televised talent competition for its ninth season. This news got me thinking about poor old Paula Abdul, who’s been publicly tussling over her contract with the show’s producers. Which is pretty annoying, since her comments to the show’s hopefuls, while completely undiagrammable as sentences, are actually pretty useful when you compare them to the endless streams of “dawgs” uttered by Randy Jackson and DioGuardi’s self-aggrandizing sing-offs. This calls for a poll, I think: Which member of the American Idol cast is the weakest link? Let’s go to the ballot box!
I predict five responses in favor of the poll’s final option. Ahem.
Kara DioGuardi Will Be Back On American Idol! [E!]
Too tough to pick between Kara and Randy. I’m no Paula fan either, but she does always bring a certain dingbat levity to the “judging” portion.
I continue to feel Abdul has turned a corner in the last couple of seasons.
Whatever goofballs she was on, the dosage is down (i.e., she’s more coherent), and she actually made substantive comments this year.
Simon also regards her as the show’s institutional memory; several times he’s marveled at her ability to recall specific performers/performances from past seasons.
So while I’d hardly call myself a fan, I have turned around on Paula in a big way recently and would gladly lose Randy or Kara before dumping her.
Yeah, this much is true. The last two seasons (with the exception of the Jason Castro pre-judging mishap) Paula has provided much more substantive critiques than those she’d offered previously. Especially last year, where ,despite her obvious Adam/Danny devotion, she used actual industry experience and musical knowledge to speak to singers post-song.
It’s a tough call between Kara and Randy, but I’m going with Randy. His critiques are an endless parade of tired catchphrases, and he seems out of touch with today’s musical climate. I am willing (although not by much) to give Kara the benefit of the doubt and hope that for her second season, she’ll be more accustomed to how the show works, and she will be able to give more concise feedback and not resort to the “package artist” chestnut that we all loathed so much.
For the 200th time, I’ll request that Simon Fuller release everyone but Cowell and bring in Johnny Rzeznik and Shiela E. from The Next Great American Band, two of the best music tv show competition judges I’ve ever seen.
All right, so check it out … for *me*, Kara wins for her countless blown pop cultural references and malapropisms. Remember, this is a gaffe competition. And Kara, YOU CAN REALLY GAFFE.
@Varina: It is a tough call, both of them are so useless.
@Audif Jackson Winters IV: FTW. Also, QED.
Not unlike the consensus thus far, I debated whether to knock out Randy or Kara. I went with the latter. Her addition neither enhanced nor detracted, which means she’s dead weight.
p.s. oh lord. did i really need to see that image this morning?
My vote isn’t entirely fair, as I watched less than 20 minutes of this past season (mostly as clips on The Soup), but could anyone give less useful advice than Jackson? He’s comments are content free and he’s not even entertaining.
Though now looking at the other comments I’ll second brasstax’s suggestion. I’d much rather watch Cowell/Rzeznik/E giving actual constructive criticism than the nonsense that AI is today.
Kara has to go. As the picture above proves, it’s never attractive when the judge really wishes they were the star.
Wow, Randy’s winning. I just voted for him, but I didn’t think he’s be winning 54-52.