Some things to read while lamenting the fact that you didn’t get tickets to Al Fest…

• The Red Hot Chilli Pipers. I guess the extra “l” is for extra lawsuit protection—pity they couldn’t take a similar tack with peoples’ ears. [Official site; HT (?) Ned Raggett]

• Jay-Z’s hatred of Autotune has been great for business, says Antares Audio Technologies VP of marketing Marco Alpert. “We make no value judgments on how people use our product… it’s a tool to be used by the people who buy it, and we’re happy when consumers find new uses for it.” That includes blowing it up in music videos, FYI. [Bits]

• The organizers of All Points West—taking place right now in sodden New Jersey—are trying to fight off message-board cranks as much as they can. Too bad they can’t control the weather, though! [NYO]

• Meanwhile, savvy StubHub users can apparently snag one-dollar tickets to shows by the likes of Bruce Springsteen. [Reuters]

• Jarvis Cocker on Late Night With Jimmy Fallon: I don’t know, he doesn’t look that THROWED to me… but then again, I wasn’t there. (Dammit.) [Prefix]