While trawling my RSS feed for interesting things to post on this lovely September morning, I came across another one of those dreaded late-summer listicles counting down “hot” women in pop, this one coming from a site purporting to contain “Gossip For Grown-Ups.” Its hook? “Female pop stars are not all talentless bints who clutter up newspapers and snarky entertainment sites (thanks for that) with their inane chatter and their lady bits.” Well… thanks? Although, uh, all the “writing” in said listicle consists of asides like “Do you think we are so easily won over by her releasing a song about her kissing a girl? Probably.” and “Just turn down the sound and watch the video instead.” It also refers to Madonna as “old vinegar tits.” Just so I’m straight here—is it only OK when men engage in “inane chatter” over pop stars’ “lady bits,” or is it only kosher when said tongue-wagging is couched in a pathetic grab for traffic?
Anyway, this bit of boner-trolling already has cleared the 100-Digg mark and has incurred the wrath of outraged Mariah fans who were shocked that their heroine wasn’t included (note to any budding listicle-crafters out there: you’ll always get at least one of these if you fail to mention the glory of Mimi, even if any positivity said countdown may contain is couched in rancid sexism), so why am I even commenting on this? The Internet is full of dudes who are so busy trying to see vaginas everywhere that they forget what they’re attached to, film at 11. I guess it’s just sorta-dishartening to see a site boasting that it’s written “For Grown-Ups” yet stooping to the same old tricks that other sites tried two years ago, only somehow coming off as more gramatically challenged and pathetically lizard-brained—not to mention completely devoid of any sort of playfulness. Sure, the Digg rewards for those sorts of list may light up Google Analytics in the short term, but there is a bit of a “deal with the devil” aspect to all that caveman chest-thumping—after all, the site that was burning up Digg with its own similar countdown two years ago has been reduced to hawking Korn ringtones. Take it as a warning: What gooses traffic now can cook your goose later.
Anyway, in honor of her newly discovered nickname, let’s have Madonna take us out, yes?
[No link, because honestly? They don't even deserve this much of my attention. But I had to say something. Call it an RSS-feed corrective.]
Madonna – Express Yourself [Dailymotion]
Previously: Idolator Picks Its 50 Hottest Hotties
Coming up with a list of the hottest women in pop is as easy as coming up with a list as the ugliest men in rock. Let’s challenge ourselves in these uncertain times, people.
(Actually, I’d like to see what happens with a list of the ugliest men in rock, let’s do it.)
Pot. Kettle. Black.
@AaronPoehler: O rly? This site runs articles counting down “boneable” artists based on no qualities other than that one? Haaahahahahahaha. Yes. Right. Get bent!
@AaronPoehler: Are you replying to Maura’s post or to me? If the former, what? If the latter, I guess I need to not be so subtle with my very obvious irony.
@AaronPoehler: Seriously.
What does sexism even mean anymore? I guess I should take a break from my constant search for vaginas and look it up sometime.
And reduced to hawking korn ringtones? That’s low. Like getting dumped from Gawker low.
Oh God you guys, calm down. I didn’t call EVERY MAN ON THE INTERNET sexist. However, maybe your oversensitivity could be turned into a teachable moment — like, now you know sort of how it feels to feel like you’re being unfairly judged because of a trait ascribed to certain members of your gender! Hey how about that!
No no, I get it, it sucks to feel attacked. But here’s what you need to realize: if instead of getting defensive, you just say something like, “Right on, sister,” then Maura can say “see, look, assholes at XYZ.com, not everyone buys your lazy tripe, look to my enlightened commenters as role models.” Then everyone gets laid. WORLD PEACE THE END.
@Evie: Sex and world peace? Sweet. This is the best website ever.
@Maura: hm, yeah, i guess so. Actually, you were pretty spot on in the article. These things attract traffic for a reason.
But I feel what we should all be angered about is the existence of Korn ringtones.
Or the existence of Korn, for that matter.
@AaronPoehler: Lame. Ass. Comment.
@Evie: I really prefer this exercise. I just don’t know where to start. All of the Rolling Stones? Steven Tyler? Korn? And we’d have to restrict it to pop, because heaven forbid we open the competition to guys in metal bands.
Bints?
Also is anyone (besides Susan Boyle) NOT on their list? I think they’ve named pretty much everyone.