The 9.4 Best New Jokes About Pitchfork (Not The Site, The Just-Opened Chicago Restaurant)

October 21st, 2009 // 8 Comments

Last night, friend of Idolator Marah Eakin broke the news that there was a new restaurant opening near her home in Chicago—and it was called, oddly enough, the Pitchfork Saloon, even though it has no relation to the tastemaking music reviews-and-news site that’s also based in the City Of Big Shoulders. From the looks of things, the place looks like your typical neighborhood joint—chili and chicken-finger apps, half-price bourbon on Tuesdays, something called the “Pitchfork Build-A-Burger.” But the coincidental nomenclature just begged for a few one-liners to be tossed off, what with the combination of food-borne jokes and music geekery being irresistible. So I decided to open the floodgates of our Twitter account to the best Pitchfork-as-restaurant-related jokes. And the laughter flowed through! After the jump, the top 9.4 one-liners.


9.4 “Best new potatoes.” [@harvilla, a.k.a. Village Voice music editor Rob Harvilla]
9. “Come listen to us talk about food, then go steal it from the kitchen!” [@marathonpacks, a.k.a. Eric Harvey]
8. “You probably don’t want to see our kitchen—we have a Modest Mouse problem.” [@televisionarie, a.k.a. Leah]
7. “What are you waiting for? Book your private party in Juan’s Basement today.” [@michaelhoinski, a.k.a. Michael Hoinski]
6. “How many times can mahi-mahi be Best New Catch?” #achicagorestaurantnamedpitchfork” [@triablo, a.k.a. Dave Raposa]
5. “We know your taste and serve it to you lukewarm.” [@idorapark, a.k.a. Daphne Carr]
4. “The waiter comes back once to refill your water, and four times after that to update you on the Wavves/Black Lips feud.” [@namethebats, a.k.a. Garrett Neese]
3. “The daily specials are a sly nod to the chef’s early menus, hearkening back to his pre-1986 seminal street food work.” [@timoni, a.k.a. Timoni Grone]
2. “Also on the drink menu: Pitchfork Iced Tea, which is like a Long Island Ice Tea but includes Travis Morrison’s tears.” [@imaginarychrisb, a.k.a. Chris Burlingame]
1. “I hear the new Lambchop is good. And it comes with 2 sides!” [@dpaul428, a.k.a. Dave Paulson]


Thanks for playing, everybody! To read all the 140-character quips, you can scroll through this link. And feel free to add your own!


Pitchfork Saloon [Official site]
@idolator [Twitter]


  1. @Audif Jackson Winters III: FTW.

    Also:

    “Last week’s Sloppy Joe special: 0.0. Sorry :-/

  2. Man, I knew there was a reason I should be (should’ve been?) trying to remember my Twitter password.

  3. #3 is brilliant.

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