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Presenting A Way To Introduce Guns N’ Roses To Your Child Without All That Cussing And Drug-Referencing

091021_lullabyLooks like the next big demographic to be exploited is “youngish parents with hard-rock pasts who don’t want to kill their cool factor with Raffi CDs”: A company called Rockabye Baby has just released Lullaby Renditions Of Guns N’ Roses, a 12-track album that transforms the hedonistic hits of the notorious band into songs that can help quiet children. Fortunately (or not?), concerned parents won’t need to explain what “with your bitch slap rappin’ and your cocaine tongue, you get nothing done” means, since all the lullaby versions have been stripped of their lyrics and transformed into “gentle renditions of GNR’s metal classics” that are all-instrumental. The track listing (which does include “You Could Be Mine,” oh yes):


01. Welcome To The Jungle
02. Sweet Child O’ Mine
03. Paradise City
04. Live & Let Die
05. November Rain
06. You Could Be Mine
07. Mr. Brownstone
08. Estranged
09. Yesterdays
10. Don’t Cry
11. Knockin’ On Heaven’s Door
12. Patience


The official site has sound samples. “Sounds like the music from Myst got inseminated by one of those ‘_____ band as played by four cellos’ albums that were a fad for a bit in like 2003,” my pal Chris Steffen said to me after scrolling through a few of them. But I think “Mr. Brownstone” actually sounds kind of pretty, which makes me wonder if it’ll eventually result in inuring children to the horrors of heroin? Guess we’ll find out in about 15-18 years!


Lullaby Renditions of Guns N’ Roses [Rockabye Baby Music via GNRDaily]

 
By Maura on Wed Oct 21 2009
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  1. bcapirigi  |   Posted on Oct 21st, 2009

    The Pixies one in this series is really good (and it does have Debaser.) I just got one as a shower present for somebody.

    Reply
  2. ChrisSteffen  |   Posted on Oct 21st, 2009

    Also, needs more “My World” and “Get in the Ring.” And “Chinese Democracy” is woefully underrepresented.

    Reply
  3. baconfat  |   Posted on Oct 21st, 2009

    “Lullaby Renditions of Coldplay” = kind of redundant, no?

    Reply
  4. revmatty  |   Posted on Oct 21st, 2009

    My girls routinely fall asleep to the NIN, Cure, or Smashing Pumpkins editions. Maybe that’s why the 5 year old is all goth now.

    Reply
  6. ObtuseIntolerant  |   Posted on Oct 21st, 2009

    Oh, the horrors of parental vanity marketing. Not that we haven’t fallen for it in the past, but my daughter has made no bones about her hatred for this album her dad misguidedly bought her: http://www.songsfortheyoungatheart.co.uk/. As long as moms and dads out there know that this is only going to make your kids think the stuff you like is lame a lot earlier in life and seek out its opposite…

    Reply

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