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And now, 45 answers to the question that will no doubt result from this entry: “How is James Blunt’s 2005 ode to a stolen glance on the Underground not higher than No. 45 on a worst songs of the ’00s list? Really now.”
1. It was only No. 1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for one week.
2. It was unseated by Ne-Yo! That’s an Idolator success story right there.
3. Even though it seems like it stuck around forever, thanks to incessant licensing.
4. Its success led to Linda “And I Say HEYYY AYYY AYY YEAH YEAH” Perry lecturing The New York Times on the dangers of pop songs’ ubiquity.
5. It brought British artists back to the chart’s summit for the first time since “Candle In The Wind 1997.” And nobody had to die! Well, before its release, anyway.
6. People who found it irritating enough to make the top 10 of a Rolling Stone poll of annoying songs only found it slightly more objectionable than the Spice Girls’ awesome “Wannabe.”
7. But less so than Lou Bega’s “Mambo No. 5.”
8. (Which came out in 1999 and is thus ineligible for this poll, in case you were wondering.)
9. Somehow, Blunt only says the phrase “You’re beautiful” nine times during the course of the song. But it seems like so many more, I know.
10. When asked about the song’s origins by Oprah Winfrey, James answered that they were “kind of miserable” while grinning. Oh, those Brits!
11. In the original edit of the song, James was “fucking high”; in the much-more-popular radio edit, he was “flying high.” So wait, is he on drugs or full of himself? Hmm.
12. The piano part is pretty.
13. And when you think about it in the grand scheme of things, “You’re Beautiful” is not that bad.
14. No, really, it’s not!
15. Play this back-to-back with [REDACTED HIGHER-RANKING SONG] and [REDACTED HIGHER-RANKING SONG] later this week and you’ll see what I mean.
16. And it’s probably at least on irritating-earworm par with whatever song is playing in your local Walgreen’s right now.
17. Although his Rod Stewart affectations are kind of irritating.
18. At least this song doesn’t utilize the production techniques of, say, “Downtown Train,” though.
19. Nevertheless, when he takes his flying leap off the cliff at the end of the video you’re kind of hoping he succeeds in his dramatic mission.
20. OK, OK. Let me think.
21. …
22. Hm …
23. He has nice lips!
24. And good hair.
25. Great hair, even.
26. “It was about seeing my ex-girlfriend on the Underground in London with her new man who I didn’t know existed. She and I caught eyes and lived a lifetime in that moment, but didn’t do anything about it and haven’t seen each other since,” James told O when asked about the song’s meaning. Who among us can’t relate?
27. Then again, its bland longing is so universal, other people think it’s about first love.
28. Maybe this is why Blunt later called the song “one of the least meaningful songs on the album and by no means people’s favorite”?
29. Of course, in the same interview, he compared himself to Bob Dylan, so all bets are off.
30. And said “Commercialism is an ugly thing to focus on,” which see No. 3 above.
31. Oh dear, this is proving to be much more difficult than I originally thought. Should I call Chris?
32. Then again, is this really worse than [REDACTED]? Or [REDACTED]?
33. It’s almost as if the irritating qualities that it possessed in multiples back in 2005-2006, which were white-hot then thanks to the track’s Lite-FM ubiquity, seem kinda quaint these days.
34. Like, if you had to pick between “You’re Beautiful” and “I Gotta Feeling” as far as a song that drove you crazier were it to be placed on endless repeat at this exact moment in time, which would you choose?
35. The sappy, “meaningless” ballad from a one-hit blunder or the clinically / cynically designed weapon for Eternal Professional-DJ Domination?
36. I mean, neither’s on the side of the angels here, but I know which I’d choose.
37. Fight the real enemy, man.
38. Yeah.
39. Yeah!
40. That said, we really shouldn’t pay him any more mind than No. 45, given that he’s still being a jerk about the whole “Weird Al” parody.
41. I mean, who turns down “Weird Al”?
42. Kurt Cobain didn’t.
43. And neither did Gerardo!
44. Blunt did bring the song onto Sesame Street and turn it into “My Triangle,” which, c’mon:
45. Aw.
James Blunt – You’re Beautiful [YouTube]
James Blunt [Official site]
F2K: Idolator Counts Down The 50 Worst Songs Of The ’00s, One By Ear-Splitting One
No. 45: James Blunt, “You’re Beautiful”
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Ugh. Saw a guy in a piano bar taking requests play this. He did not accept my Fiver in exchange for a rendition of “Thunderstruck”. Yes to James Blunt, and No to AC/DC? I barely like AC/DC, and I still say that guy’s an asshole.
When Maura first told me about this list, the first thing I said was “Mambo No. 5″. She was quick to point out that was the 90s. The scars run deep.
The quaintness thing once it’s not ubiquitous is very true. That’s why Sk8er Boi is no longer my least favorite Avril Levigne song, for instance.
Also, besides the title, I have no idea what this song sounds like unless it’s on.
This is a GREAT write-up!
Al’s take is infinitely superior to the original (as is the case with most of his parodies).
The “fucking high” was a subtle, elaborate reference to the Fugees’ “Blunted on Reality” for which James Blunt took his stage name. His real name is, of course, Fartles Wusserini.
This was *always* on VH1 in the morning when I was getting ready, and it made me want to throw things at the television. In retrospect, though, “Boom Boom Pow” is 10x worse. I’m guessing the Peas will be represented at the top of this list?
I laugh every time I hear the opening line: “My life is brilliant.” Okay, then!
That said, after the opening line I remember my belief that the success of this song is partially responsible for the wave of Grey’s Anatomy soundtrack-approved piano ballads that followed, including everything ever released by The Fray, and then the laughter stops.
I am with you on #33 to a certain extent, but I don’t think those irritating qualities have disappeared as much as they’ve morphed into something even bigger and more irritating.
His hair is the anti-shammy. Constantly wet. Always.
I mean, yeah, this song is fucking evil, but I can get down with the idea that it is less so now because we are no longer revisiting its sicknesses daily.
If this song is at #45, the Top 10 must be Kryptonite.
@KingofPants: “Kryptonite” DID come out in 2000, so it’s eligible!
Maura, I think you like this song! You should have picked Blunt’s 2007 song “1973″ which is way worse because it is so lazy- lazy rhymes, lazy lyrics, lazy pastiche music. It’s like he deliberately decided not to try just to see if people would buy it.
And there is Jarvis Cocker’s critique of why the lyrics to this song are just awful. It has that going for it.
There is a car commercial (Toyota?) that uses a reworked Mambo No.5 to list its features. Every time it comes on, I want to find out how exactly this came to be. I mean, isn’t it a well known fact that song is unlistenable these days?
This post is brilliant.
@DJP: Holy crap, that really, REALLY needs to be on here! Also, Corey Smith’s “Every Dawg Has His Day” is just the pits.
I don’t like this song, but it does take me back to being 18 and essentially being done with high school and just showing up so I could more easily bum around downtown with my friends after class, and watching college acceptance letters roll in, and my parents suddenly not caring what I did or where I went, and just the general happy moment that was getting to be kind of an adult, without all the responsibilities and tough parts, and having my whole life ahead of me. I don’t think I ever purposely listened to this song, but it was everywhere, for awhile, during one of the happier times in my life.
(Then I graduated, then it dropped off the charts, then I left home and the actual realities of being an adult hit me hard and I wound up scrambling for a real job and barely finishing my second semester of college and not sure I’d ever make it to a third one. Ugh.
So, yeah: I don’t hate this song. I don’t like it, either, but it was there, in the background, for a lot of memories I *did* like. Similarly, “Bleeding Love,” another blah blandfest I can’t say I care for, I associate with the spring I finally started getting my life back together.)
@Lucas Jensen: What should be higher on the list – “Kryptonite” or Hoobastank’s “The Reason”?
@Thierry: The Reason?! Don’t even go there!
This post is so wonderful that I might forgive you for not placing it higher on the list. Might.
This is a truly spectacular write-up. Oh Maura, you minx, you’ve done it again. I thought this would be higher on the list, but your rationale is pretty damn amazing.
I’ve just figured out what I would put at #1 of my own list- Stone Sour’s “Bother”. There is no conceivable way that that song could be even one iota worse.
Drops of Jupiter was in the 00’s right?
@Poubelle: I don’t like this song, but it does take me back to being 18
SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH
@kicking222: I’ve just figured out what I would put at #1 of my own list- Stone Sour’s “Bother”
I have to give you a demerit for mentioning Stone Sour, and thus reminding me of their existence.
@KingofPants: Yeah, I’m young. Sorry for being born late?
I realized my comment is kind of tl;dr and could be summed up with: “You’re Beautiful” > “My Humps.”
@Thierry: Hoobastank? Yoobastank for reminding me of their existence.
Are 30 Seconds to Mars gonna show up somewhere?
Oooh! Bright Eyes’ “When The President Talks To God”. That song makes me conservative when I listen to it.
This list had little credibility to begin with and it’s losing it all fast. The very fact that you felt immediately defensive enough to make your post a list of reasons why this isn’t HIGHER is proof that yes, it should be higher.
@Lucas Jensen: Could anyone actually name/hum a 30 Seconds to Mars song? Or would it be a Lifetime Achievement thing?
Just chiming in to say I agree with this song’s placement and the above rationale fully.
@Poubelle: How dare you be born after the McDlt.
(No worries, just suddenly had that “whoa, I’m old” moment.)
This list better include Crazy Town’s “Butterfly”, a song so terrible that even KROQ’s Kevin and Bean complained, on air, about having to play it so much, and which later brought Shifty Shellshock back into our homes via “Celebrity Rehab.”
You’re Beautiful > My Humps
This is my favourite Idolator post of the year. Bravo, Maura.
@NedRaggett: Yeah, I have no idea why I thought of that song, but Jesus H. Fucking Popsicle, I wish I hadn’t. I truly, truly apologize.
Come on, this isn’t really that bad. It’s only problem (lyrics aside) is overexposure. The first or second time I listened to this I thought “it’s a nice ballad”. Of course, by the 567th listen I wanted to destroy the radio.