Twin Cities radio station 89.3 The Current debuted a new song from their favorite son today—Prince’s “Cause and Effect.” We had to play this song three times before we could believe it actually exists. There’s no way to prepare you for the traffic jam of surf-rock-funk-metal magic that’s awaiting you behind the jump, so just head below to hear experience His Majesty’s latest concoction for yourself.

Prince – “Cause And Effect”

The Current’s hosts, Steve Seel and Jill Riley, described the song as being “a little mini-symphony of Prince-ness” and a “rock anthem.” Musically, Prince doesn’t do much in this track that he hasn’t done before—he just does it all at the same time. But at this stage in his career, the Purple One has no regrets, and he makes that point perfectly clear in the song’s most memorable line: “If I had a chance to do it all again/I wouldn’t change a thing except my next of kin.”

Personally, between the repetition of the song’s title, the random barking and pre-recorded cheering, and the synth-guitar solos sprinkled throughout the track, we think it sounds like the (extended) theme to a late-80s Saturday Morning Cartoon called Cause and Effect!, starring a bunch of rascally high school kids and a talking, guitar-playing pink dragon with the crazy catchphrase, “Cowabunga, suckers!” (Hey, it could happen. If MC Hammer could get his own animated show, surely Prince could, too.)

Rolling Stone notes that the track “seems to find the middle ground between Prince’s guitar rock album Lotusflow3r and its funked-up companion disc MPLSound,” so this funk-rock tune doesn’t exactly come out of nowhere. Still, the whole song sounds disjointed and aimless. But after his misstep with the Minnesota Vikings song, which sounded like all the Who’s in Whoville gathering around to sing a football-themed Christmas carol, we’ll gladly take it. After all, this is Prince we’re talking about, and if he didn’t pen something off-the-walls insane, we’d be disappointed.

Unleashing his purple-hued magic on the world’s collective ears isn’t the only thing Prince crossed off his to-do list today; the pop star has finally settled his dispute with concert promoter MCD for canceling a Dublin gig back from June 2008. With his legal issues put aside, now he can spend the majority of his time writing yet another new album that will make our hips sway and our eardrums orgasm with delight.

[Via Pitchfork]