Ah, Facebook—such an electronic bridge across the miles. Such an aid for the closet cyberstalker in us all. And most importantly, such a tool for creating cleverly-titled fan groups. Yes, the days of squeaky clean Mickey Mouse Club-type worship are over. One sweep through the blue-hued social networking site turns up such quirky Internet gathering places as—brace yourselves—Joe Jonas In Skinny White Jeans and I LOL’d When I Saw What Simon Cowell Looked Like Upside Down.

And since we recently had such a grand ol’ time piecing together the greatest hits of the Because Of Nicki Minaj Twitter hashtag, we decided to scour Facebook (which—raise a glass—just turned six last month) and cull together a list of some of the more, uh, unconventional pop star fan groups.

* “That Girl Has Such A Pretty Voice!” — “Mom, That’s Justin Bieber.” — Poor mom. And here you just got her to stop rambling on about how handsome Pink is.

* Can this Walrus get more fans than Miley Cyrus? — No. But at least the walrus got the memo about stilettos.

* Don’t you hate it when Ke$ha holds your party up because she hasn’t walked in? — See, now this is kind of a trick question. Because what if she’s got a bag of Cheetos in her purse?

* “I’m gonna be an inspiration” Oh shut up Aaron Kelly! Nobody likes u! — Au contraire, this fan site dedicated to the 16-year-old Idol contestant would beg to differ.

* Feeling Beast After You Rap A Verse Of A Lil Wayne Song Without Messing Up — Forget the rapping. A real beast is able to dodge a looming jail sentence—twice.

* Adam Lambert Hags —Now, unless our gaydar is a little rusty, something tells us there is a not-so-small army of women who fit the bill for this fan group. So why then are there only eight members?

* Can this anchovy get more fans than Rihanna? — Unless there’s a two-for-one special with a free two-liter bottle of Coke included, probably not.

* Get Gary Barlow Knighted — Wha’?!? Get Gary Barlow naked? [clicks link to join] Ohhhh—knighted.

* My dog dresses better than Lady Gaga! — But does your dog dress better than Roisin Murphy?

* KATY PERRY SHUT UP SINGING AND GET IN MY BED. — Real mature approach to handling a relationship, Russell Brand. Now get off the computer and go line up a job.

* Wanna sleep in Nick Jonas’ hair — Yeah. This one is just—no.

* BITCH YOU ARE NOT NICKI MINAJ!!!! —So rude. Like, who are these people to discount the positive role models of this generation, anyway?

* No one would’ve cared if Kanye had interrupted Miley Cyrus — True. But at least Miley would’ve flashed a peace sign and drop-kicked him in the West family jewels—while wearing the Hannah Montana wig.