‘American Idol’: The Top 8 Guys Make The Judges Do The Strangest Things

Ellen ran on stage and hugged Tim Urban. Simon told Kara her critique of Aaron Kelly was “utter rubbish.” And Michael “Big Mike” Lynche brought Kara to tears, leading Simon to console her with a big ol’ hug. What was going on with the judges Wednesday night? Or, perhaps more importantly, what exactly were the eight remaining guys doing to get the judges so emotional?

Lee Dewyze — “Fireflies” by Owl City With his raspy Scott Stapp-esque vocals, Lee has secured his position as the corporate rock-ready crooner of the Season 9 Idol pack—so now he decides to do Owl City’s “Fireflies”? Kudos to him for switching things up a bit and taking the risk. But this song just doesn’t really work unless you’re a sensitive, pseudo-creepy basement dweller with floppy emo hair and a penchant for teardrops and GarageBand. Randy kind of agrees, saying that “for me it was strange song choice.” But then he adds, “You really kind of made it your own.”  Simon sums it all up best with this assessment: “Nothing to rave about after that.”

Alex Lambert — “Trouble” by Ray LaMontagne Well, Alex’s mullet is looking real classy lately. It’s got quite a shiny glint to it under those lovely purple stage lights, too! Oh, right—the song. Well, he went off key a bit. The tune itself kind of set a boring tone for the night—a problem that’s occurred one too many times this season as is. But the ladies in the audience—and at home, too, apparently—seem to like him, and that’s all that matters in the end, right? Ellen says something about Alex becoming a mushy banana—a reference to her critique of him a couple weeks back where she said he needs to ripen up a bit. It’s Simon, however, who goes for the OTT judgment tonight, when he tells Alex to imagine Randy in a bikini and loosen up a bit.

Tim Urban — “Hallelujah” by Jeff Buckley Tim has been beaten down so much this season. And when it’s announced he’ll be doing Jeff Buckley’s version of Leonard Cohen’s “Hallelujah,” you just kind of want to hand him his pink slip before he even opens his mouth and give him an easy out. Surprisingly, though, he’s actually not bad. In fact, he sort of rocks it out properly. Granted, Tim’s take on “Hallelujah” isn’t on the Jason Castro level. But compared to his rendition of OneRepublic’s “Apologize” two weeks ago, the kid sounds like Pavarotti. The judges are duly floored, with Ellen pulling an American Idol first by running up onto the stage and hugging Tim. Simon tells him it’s his strongest performance of the competition so far.

Andrew Garcia — “Genie In A Bottle” by Christina Aguilera Now, let’s not mince words, folks—Andrew’s just going for stunt covering at this point. He’s clearly trying to recapture the Paula Abdul “Straight Up” magic he had during Hollywood week. Thankfully, the judges call him out on it—as they should, because tackling Xtina proved to be just a mediocre, unsatisfying experience for all within earshot. Simon cuts right to the chase and points out that it “was a little bit desperate.” This could be the end of the road for our stay-at-home dad friend.

Casey James — “You’ll Think Of Me” by Keith Urban Well, we really weren’t kidding about Wednesday night’s boring streak. Casey kept the snooze train rolling with his acoustic guitar sit-down rendition of Keith Urban’s “You’ll Think Of Me.” Yeah, wishful thinking with that title, Casey. Kara says she’s kind of back on the Casey train, but she wants to see a little bit more from him. Maybe he’ll take that to mean removing his jeans as well as his shirt to get back in her good graces next week?

Aaron Kelly — “I’m Already There” by Lonestar Aaron has the distinction of being the first performer of the night without a guitar. Though his voice is shaky at first, the 16-year-old manages to get his mojo back toward the middle of the song. And he’ll probably be safe, because as Justin Bieber proved this week, there are plenty of rich cougars out there with credit cards and free minutes to burn through. The real fireworks begin, however, when Idol‘s own cougar, Kara, notes that the tune—which details a man longing to return home to be with his family—wasn’t relevant to Aaron’s life. This causes Simon to shoot her down by saying “what Kara said was complete and utter rubbish… It’s just a nice song. Get over it.” Yeah, Kara! You didn’t see Andrew Garcia literally dressed in drag and trying to squeeze his stocky frame out of a glass bottle, now, did you?

Todrick Hall — “Somebody to Love” by Queen Call us crazy, but Todrick didn’t really wow us with this. Mind you, he can sing. But the whole performance just seemed utterly bland. We were hoping for a stadium rock rendition, but it felt like we got the Glee cast version instead. But the judges seemed wowed, nonetheless, with Randy declaring, “Todrick is back!” At least Simon is on our side. “It was good in parts, he says. “Not the whole way through.”

Michael Lynche — “This Woman’s Work” by Maxwell Big Mike chooses Maxwell’s cover of Kate Bush’s “This Woman’s Work”—clearly with his wife and their newborn baby in mind—and knocks it out of the park, falsetto bits and all. Of course, keep in mind that it doesn’t really take too much this season to knock it out of the park, unfortunately. Anyway, this all leads Kara to turn on the waterworks and acknowledge that she understands why he chose the song while also making it about herself by working in that she doesn’t have any children of her own. Randy says it was hot. Ellen announces, “Oh my god, that was beautiful,” and Simon is left hugging a teary-eyed Kara.

Best of the night: Michael Lynche. Ellen anointed him the “one to beat now.” (That said, we still kind of think it’s early to count out a couple of the girls.)

Worst of the night: Andrew Garcia, straight up.

Final thoughts: The girls played it safe Tuesday night, and the guys were pretty cautious, too. At this point, the Ellen DeGeneres curiosity factor has worn off, so Idol really needs something—and hopefully that’s a contestant—to finally start shaking things up.

Regardless, after tomorrow’s results show, we’ll know who Season 9’s official Top 12 contestants are. And we have a feeling it’s going to be curtains, at least, for Paige Miles and Andrew Garcia.