R. Kelly’s “Be My #2” Is The #1 Mistress Love Song Of All Time

First R. Kelly threatened to get you pregnant and put you in his kitchen, and now the gentlemanly behavior continues with the video for his track “Be My #2,” in which Kells serenades us with sweet words about how he likes us just enough to make us his mistress. Lucky for Kells, the video is jam-packed with potential #2’s running amok at a hoppin’ party. Silver medalists, this one’s for you. 

R. Kelly – “Be My #2”

The funky, disco fever track (produced by Jack Splash) makes up in dance beats for what it lacks in morals. “I could never be your boyfriend, cause you know I got a special girl… be my number two, but you will never be my number one,” sings Kelly. But no, he’s not confessing double-timing his special lady; he’s reveling in it. He continues: “I can take you to a hotel, we can be there just the two of us, girl, I love you because you don’t tell, and you know just how to keep it hush.” Tony Soprano couldn’t have said it better to his gumar.

If R. Kelly was so intent on boasting about his misogynistic ways, he at least could have impressed us with a killer video—instead, we get hand-held footage from some party at his bachelor pad. Kell, if you’re not going to expand your creative horizons either with your music or your videos, at least give us more “Trapped in the Closet” episodes instead of hastily thrown-together house party home movies.