Think novelist Jackie Collins is listening to something classy like Chopin when she’s banging out her scandalous novels? Try again. Today the 72-year-old British scribe revealed the following on Twitter: “Listening to OMG by @UsherRaymondIV and @iamtherealwill… Yes, I love the song OMG, but generally like R & B. I listen to R. Kelly when I write sex scenes!” (Come on, folks—books like The Stud, Hollywood Wives and Poor Little Bitch Girl don’t come from a deep appreciation for The Cowsills!) This of course prompted us to cobble together what we imagine to be a playlist of jams that fill the air inside Jackie’s naughty writing bordello. Check it out after the jump!

THE ULTIMATE JACKIE COLLINS/R KELLY SEX MIX

1. “Bangin’ The Headboard”
2. “Strip For You”
3. “Feelin’ On Yo Booty”
4. “Hump Bounce”
5. “Bump N’ Grind”
6. “Freak Dat Body”
7. “Get Dirty”
8. “Sex Weed”
9. “Ignition”
10. “Sex Me”
11. “Take You Home With Me”
12. “Be My #2″
13. “The Greatest Sex”
14. “Step In My Room”
15. “Snake”
16. “Hit It Till The Mornin’”
17. “Put My T-Shirt On”
18. “Pregnant”
19. “Freaky In The Club”
20. “Sex In The Kitchen”