Simon Cowell Puts His ‘Idol’ Judging Days Behind Him—And Just In Time

Becky Bain | May 25, 2010 2:29 pm

After nine seasons and God knows how many wretched auditions, Simon Cowell will take his place behind a Coca-Cola cup at the American Idol judges’ table and impart his wisdom for the last time. He’s made some memorable calls, but he certainly chose a great time to leave!

Of course, we’ll still have Simon to share in the suspense (or lack thereof) during the results show on Wednesday, but the whole affair will be bereft of the biting witticisms we’ve come to love over the last few years. (We also don’t think he’ll be spewing much venom at either Lee or Crystal during their final performances tonight, but hey, you never know!)

It’s pretty much a given that after nine years of tinkering with the set-up of the show—adding judges! Subtracting hosts! Adding mentors! Including wild card rounds! Allowing instruments! Idol Gives Back! No Idol Gives Back! No, wait, Idol Gives Back again!—the producers of the show are running short of ideas to restore the sizzle to the show. And Simon, the most logical, business-savvy player at the judges table, knows this, which is why he decided to vamoose and let everyone else go down with the ship.

Can Idol continue without Simon? Yes, it will go on (at least until viewers and advertisers find their kicks elsewhere), but can it thrive without its biggest personality? It could be argued that the show became the juggernaut it is by perfecting the now-classic TV formula of the character-driven judges table. There was the cool one (Randy), the nice one (Paula) and the curmudgeon who said what everyone at home was thinking. Whether you thought Simon was mean or just being bluntly honest, he was a breath of fresh air when everyone else tip-toed around the truth or tried to sugarcoat it with niceties. And even more important, Simon’s unkind, unsavory, and sometimes just plain ugly remarks to contestants were pretty much spot-on. The man knows what he’s talking about, so if you ever did get a nice word from him, you truly earned it.

Without Simon, we’ve still got the cool one (who is getting less and less cool with age), the nice one (Ellen), and the other mostly nice one (Kara).  Whoever dares to fill Simon’s role may be scoring a big paycheck, but they’re going to have to compete with the memory of the man who left. Be too nice, and you’ve got three supportive people on a panel and it becomes a boring remake of Star Search with pats on the back and vague, mild criticisms. But be too mean, and you seem like a copycat. Good luck carving out your own distinct personality, whoever you are!

So we’re sad to see Simon go, but it’s the perfect time to start anew. Plus, we’re only saying goodbye to American Idol‘s Simon Cowell—we’ll soon have The X Factor‘s Simon Cowell to entertain us with cleverly worded insults, and this time he’ll be bashing aspiring singers of every age! Can’t wait for the 9-year old singing “Not Myself Tonight” to cry her way out of the audition room.

So what do you think, Idol fans? Are you happy to see Simon go off to greener pastures? Do you think American Idol will suffer in his absence, or enjoy a second wave now that the pressure is on to really re-invent the show? And what music personality could possibly replace Simon and be an even better judge? Keep in mind that whoever Fox picks, and whoever actually says yes, has to compete with these classic bon mots: