Hope you have your gift made out of aluminum ready — American Idol celebrates it’s 10th Season tonight! For the big 1-0, the show’s producers have lined up a slew of changes to the look and format of the competition — younger contestants! Famouser judges! They all live in a mansion! But don’t expect the show to be entirely unpredictable.
Based on what we’ve learned the past nine seasons, we’ve come up with the Top 10 inevitabilities that will strike American Idol this season — from the songs that will be performed (we’re holding out hope no one will dare touch Gavin DeGraw’s “I Don’t Want To Be” lest they suffer our wrath) to the on-air feuds that will arise from the judges’ table. Jump below for Idolator’s best guesses on what we can expect in Season 10:
IDOLATOR’S TOP 10 PREDICTIONS FOR AMERICAN IDOL SEASON 10
10. Somebody will sing Leonard Cohen’s “Hallelujah.”
9. Simon Cowell will appear during the finale to promote The X Factor‘s September premiere. He will get so much applause that the current judges become bitter.
8. There will be a major tie-in to Glee sometime during the season — get ready for a Glee theme week! And Chris Colfer and Amber Riley sitting in the audience! And Cory Monteith and Lea Michele presenting during Idol Gives Back. And…
7. This year’s most popular bad contestant (aka William Hung, Sanjaya, General Larry Platt) will be a 47-year old divorcee from Milwaukee whose original song “The Bra Strap Snap” will be Auto-Tuned on YouTube, go to #1 on iTunes, and get her an appearance on Jimmy Fallon in the span of one week’s time.
6. Steven Tyler will not be the new Simon — he’ll be the new Paula. Watch out for a whole new brand of incomprehensible jibberish coming from the already entirely quotable judge.
5. A contestant is disqualified after producers realize he is Danny Gokey trying to audition again.
4. Jennifer Lopez will get in a bitch fight with Ryan Seacrest. And Randy Jackson. And Steven Tyler. And possibly somebody in the audience.
3. Steven Tyler will attempt to incorporate lyrics from Aerosmith songs into his critiques. (“Take risks with your performance! You need to be livin’ on the edge, man!” or “I think that song would have benefited from some sweet emotion!”)
2. Randy Jackson will begin using new words to judge performances other than “dawg”, “the bomb” and “it was just aight for me, man, I don’t know.”
1. A 15-year old girl will win. If America votes for a scruffy contemporary rock dude for the fourth year in a row, we’re out of here.
Leave your Season 10 predictions in the comments!