One Direction stopped by The Late Show with David Letterman last night to chat a bit and perform (and, in Niall’s case, get sexually assaulted by Dustin Hoffman), but lest you think we might finally get official confirmation about the romantic nature of Haylor, don’t get excited — Letterman clearly doesn’t know enough about the boys to ask such pertinent information. He had to cover the basics — “where are you from?” “how long have you been a band?” — that any Directioner would already have committed to memory.
We don’t blame Letterman for having to use a notecard to keep them all straight — it was only recently that we learned to tell the lads apart ourselves — but the rest of Letterman’s grandpa-esque inquiries about the music industry were pretty useless. Did he really not know Simon Cowell owned their label? Or was he just being cheeky? We were worried they might have to explain to him what an iPod is at some point. (There’s even an “I’ll be darned!” in there.) 1D, of course, showed the utmost of patience despite the awkwardness.
One Direction — “Little Things”
Fortunately, the soulful-as-ever performance of “Little Things” (and that smooch!) redeemed the segment.