‘American Idol’: Burnell Taylor Is Gone, Gone, Gone & Carrie Underwood Performs

Lisa Timmons | April 5, 2013 5:15 am

Only six American Idol contestants are left standing after the results of this week’s rock and roll performances. Many of the singers were left feeling uneasy after their beloved ballads were taken from them, and they faced the challenge of translating their vocal style into rock and roll.

We were be treated to a reminder montage of Wednesday night’s events during the results show, as well as performances by former American Idol winner Carrie Underwood and season nine contestant Casey James. Not to spoil the outcome for any of you who haven’t yet seen the show, but it’s probably a safe bet that we will be seeing a female winner this season. I mean, a sympathy vote can only keep a guy in the game for so long. At least, I hope. (Cue me giving America my side-eye.)

First, our fashion minute with the judges. Mariah Carey shows up in a black ball gown and Nicki Minaj keeps it playful in a short, two-tone dress. Randy Jackson and Keith Urban are both men in black.

All the contestants kick off the episode with a group performance of Queen‘s “Somebody To Love.” They sound good together, but it’s Candice Glover who gets the big solo lick at the end.

Following this, we get an extended Ford Fiesta commercial with some awkward product placement that comes off like a challenge from America’s Next Top Model. It’s dumb but effective because I weirdly want to buy a Ford Fiesta now. Did you guys know it has satellite radio?

Now we’re reminded of Wednesday’s performances with a montage and rundown with Jimmy Iovine. He predicts Burnell will be in the bottom two. He also rightly shreds the duet from Lazaro Arbos and Angie Miller. Kree Harrison gets big kudos from Jimmy, especially given her injury. He also thinks Candice totally outshone Burnell Taylor in their duet. Janelle Arthur gets the ranking of number four from Jimmy. He didn’t think Lazaro Arbos was all that great. The trio was so forgettable for all of us involved, I won’t even bother.

Candice gets a top three ranking because of her voice, but Jimmy dings her for the song choice. Amber Holcomb deservedly is considered a strong contender. He also gives Angie Miller points for her performance, but agrees with Keith’s assessment that she needs to focus on authenticity. His top three are also mine, Kree, Candice and Amber.

Now, for the first performance of the evening. The history of country-ish Casey James on Idol plays out. At his local audition, Posh Spice and Kara “It’s Not Delivery, It’s” DioGuardi made him take off his shirt and let down his hair. Sheesh. American Idol would like you to know that since his forced striptease, he has done well for himself and is here tonight to perform. I feel like we’ll soon be seeing Casey and Keith wearing the same T-shirt in Us Weekly, posing the question, “Who Wore It Better?” The answer, in case you’re wondering, will always be Keith.

Back from commercial break, Ryan reveals the judges’ top three picks. Keith picks Kree, Angie and Amber. Nicki also picked the same. Randy gives Candice an honorable mention, which I appreciate. Mariah, my girl, has the same picks as musical experts Jimmy and myself: Kree, Amber and Candice.

America’s top three kicks off with Kree. Pinched nerve notwithstanding, she kicked butt and took names Tuesday night. Angie is the next to get called to the chairs. Lazaro surprisingly rounds out the top three. Come on, America. He did a pretty good job, but definitely isn’t winner material. Meanwhile, during the commercial break, Jimmy Iovine and I shake our heads in disapproval.

And we return to see some vintage Carrie Underwood and a whole montage of her rise to stardom as a prelude to her singing on stage. She steps out looking super glam in a dress that is a dead ringer for the one my Peaches and Cream Barbie wore. In short, I love it. Also, if you squint your eyes, it looks like Russell Brand plays bass in her band. She ends with just the right amount of wind machine blowing her locks. (Take note, Angie Miller.)

Candice gets the shock of her life when she’s announced as number four. Then, much to my joy and surprise, Amber is number five. The bottom two are Burnell are Janelle. I agree with Nicki and think that Burnell will be going home tonight.

Mariah gives the two kids an inspirational speech and I’m pretty confident she’s wearing a bump-it in her hair. I’m right: Burnell is up and we are treated to a hilarious SNAFU in the editing room, when the chyron mistakenly identifies the Idol judges as “Burnell’s Friends.” Clearly, this is not the case when, after his last song, they choose not to use their one save to keep him on the show.

We get Burnell’s goodbye montage and there are tears all around. I predict this will not be the last we see of Burnell. He takes a final bow and I hope he goes home with that white leather jacket he’s wearing, at the very least.

Till next week, guys!