Ke$ha’s ‘My Crazy Beautiful Life’ Premieres, Takes on Blogging & Real-Life Bullies

Hey, all you animals. Tuesday night, MTV premiered the first part of Ke$ha‘s six-part documentary, entitled, My Crazy Beautiful Life. And with that, I would like to present to you, Lisa’s Crazy Beautiful Recap. This is the behind-the-scenes peek we’ve all been waiting for into the life of 26-year-old pop sensation, Ke$ha, whose full name (in case you didn’t know) is Kesha Rose Sebert.

We start with some cute home videos of a three-year-old Kesha (minus the dollar sign at that age) playing on the piano wearing, surprisingly, no body jewels or feathers. A voiceover starts from Lagan Sebert, Ke$ha’s older brother, also the director of the series. He explains that he took the chance that his sister might be onto something with this songwriting thing (despite his advice that she not drop out of high school to pursue it) and he decided to capture on video her ascent to the glitter-pop throne starting in 2011. The result is Ke$ha: My Crazy Beautiful Life.

We see a glorious montage of Ke$ha on stage, in fishnets and headdresses. Men in unicorn masks, blasting glitter guns from the stage. Behind the scenes, after a concert, Ke$ha looks like she just ran a marathon, dripping in sweat and covered in smeared eyeliner and glitter. Meanwhile, I am also dripping in sweat from having to furiously type more dollar signs than I have ever typed in a single recap.

Ke$ha peels off her costume after the show to tell the story of a botched cartwheel on stage. Cut to her tearing up da club and then making out with a long-haired dude. Can’t keep a good girl down!

The next morning, Ke$ha feeds her nephew. Her mother, Pebe, and brother, Lagan, join her to discuss a review of her concert the night before. The cartwheel slip-up did not go unnoticed in the review, which describes her as “not a normal pop star.”

Ray, the singer’s tour manager, briefs her about the upcoming dates. Trashy-looking-but-sweet Pebe gets teary-eyed to say goodbye to her daughter as Ke$ha climbs aboard her tour bus. I’m tempted to shorten my mentions of her name to Ke$h, but I don’t even know how much time and energy that would save.

Ke$ha’s voiceover reveals that this is her very first headlining tour. She kicks it off with Atlanta, Charlotte, a montage of wild and crazy antics, Dallas, working out, feeling a chubby guy’s man boobs, Reno and San Francisco. “The first leg of my tour has been intense,” Ke$ha says before they land in Los Angeles.

The “C’mon” singer admits that she left “the love of [her] life” behind in Los Angeles, Harold. Ke$ha explains that she met him at the age of 18 in Venice. She calls it “a crazy love. My first love.” This is all being described as they drive past Harold’s house. She scoots down in her seat and squeals, “Haven’t you ever stalked anyone before?” K$ goes on to say that her career drove them apart, and admits he’s been her muse ever since, even though they’ve both moved on with other people, romantically.

Walking on the beach, Ke$ha asks, “Did you know he asked me to marry him?” Then, as she writhes onstage, covered in glitter and fake blood, it’s hard to imagine Harold not being freaked out when she announces he’s the inspiration for the song she starts to sing “The Harold Song.” Ha! I wish I were watching this with Harold.

Backstage at the show, everyone gathers to tell Ke$ha that her arch-nemesis, Perez Hilton, was at the concert. She instantly looks uncomfortable, but someone pulls up a laptop and notes that he surprisingly gave her a positive review. She remains unimpressed.

In a confessional in full make-up and fake eyelashes, Ke$ha says that “a particular blogger” has been a bully to her. “He stands for everything I hate.” Getting teary-eyed, she says, “He single-handedly ruined the only relationship that ever meant anything to me.” She goes on to say that his treatment of her has been nothing short of bullying. Awww. She and I have a moment.

Ke$ha introduces her best friend, Savannah, who is her hard-partying sidekick. She brings her buddy along with her to Glastonbury, Scotland. Here, we learn a bit more about Ke$ha’s passion for men with beards. She confesses in an interview that she’s been on a “beard hunt.” The pop doll puts it this way to a reporter: “I’ve seen lots of guys with ginger beards. In their kilts. And they’re drunk.” Scotland sounds like Ke$ha’s personal paradise. With her white dreads, t-shirt and rag-tag style, she goes on the hunt for dudes with Savannah. Either her brother gave her some personal space and didn’t “cock block,” or Ke$ha and her cohort struck out. In any case, the gang’s now off to Manchester!

In the northern England city, her young fans line up to meet her before a concert, with most covered in body paint, glitter and fishnets. Ke$ha meets a young animal, who presents her with a scrapbook and confesses he’s been bullied and that her music touched him. The two have a sweet, teary-eyed moment and it’s really quite endearing. He then gets an extra hug from Ke$ha’s mom. “I want to give people a place to be themselves,” Ke$ha says of her shows. Meanwhile, this sweet little bullied ginger should maybe not be getting so much camera time sobbing if he’d for it to stop. Other than that, everyone seems to have great fun at the show.

We’re back, and Ke$ha can’t talk because of a sore throat. “I hate this,” she scribbles on a note with a humidifier propped up next to her. I’d like to take this moment to brag that I own a fancier humidifier than Ke$ha,  probably because I am way much more of an old lady.

The cliffhanger of the episode is Ke$ha telling us, “Losing my voice before Glastonbury is a nightmare. I feel like my lifelong dream is slipping through my fingers. I feel completely powerless.” That’s exactly how I feel when my WiFi isn’t working. Ke$ha, I get ya, girl.

We watch a preview of the excitement that the season holds: more over-the-top costumes; Ke$ha nearly losing it; drama with Perez Hilton; lots of bright colors; scribbles of lyrics and short; painted fingernails.

All in all, I have to say the series, so far, is pretty compelling stuff. My Crazy Beautiful Life might not be rocket science, but it’s definitely a million times better than Britney Spears‘ Chaotic from days gone by. Don’t remember that? Well, you’re not missing much and/or likely are just blocking it from your consciousness.

In any case, I’m definitely tuning in next week, so if you are too, be sure to check back here, and we can compare notes. And be sure to let us know below what you guys thought of the first episode!