Looks like the next big demographic to be exploited is “youngish parents with hard-rock pasts who don’t want to kill their cool factor with Raffi CDs”: A company called Rockabye Baby has just released Lullaby Renditions Of Guns N’ Roses, a 12-track album that transforms the hedonistic hits of the notorious band into songs that can help quiet children. Fortunately (or not?), concerned parents won’t need to explain what “with your bitch slap rappin’ and your cocaine tongue, you get nothing done” means, since all the lullaby versions have been stripped of their lyrics and transformed into “gentle renditions of GNR’s metal classics” that are all-instrumental. The track listing (which does include “You Could Be Mine,” oh yes): MORE »
POSTS FROM "bad ideas" CATEGORY
bad ideas
Presenting A Way To Introduce Guns N’ Roses To Your Child Without All That Cussing And Drug-Referencing
bad ideas
Ticketmaster Brokers A Criminally Vulgar Tie-In With Morrissey’s Upcoming Show
“No joke. My Morrissey Ticketmaster print out tickets come with a COUPON FOR A DENNY’S HAMBURGER,” former Reno 911! star Thomas Lennon Tweeted after scoring ducats to the well-known vegetarian’s upcoming Los Angeles show. The proof, after the jump. MORE »
bad ideas
The Decline And Fall Of A Once-Great Brand, Just In Time For The Holiday Season
Looks like The Onion’s Least Essential Albums list now has a 2009 frontrunner: Katy Perry: MTV Unplugged is coming to this nation’s few remaining record stores and music aisles on Nov. 17—because the Edina Monsoon-channeling singer’s yelp sounds so much “better” without the glops of electronic processing that were added to “I Kissed A Girl,” right? [Amazon] MORE »
bad ideas
Jennifer Lopez Is Not Doing The Whole “Alter Ego” Thing All That Well
“Fresh Out The Oven,” the yeasty new single from the Jennifer Lopez alter-ego Lola, is apparently not a prelude to an entire album in which the determined diva takes on the persona of someone who likes to wear really complicated shoes. According to sources who were obligated to leak something positive about the song to People, “Oven” is merely a “fun” track that’ll serve as an amuse for the follow-up to her 2007 flop Brave. It’s going to be called Love?, and it is apparently set to drop in January. Just in time for the holiday season to be over and people to need something to spend their store credit on! MORE »
bad ideas
Statler And Waldorf Prepare Their Best Balcony Critiques For “Muppets Remastered”
The beloved motley crew known as the Muppets will continue its curious hookups with the pop-music world next year with the release of Muppets Remastered, a covers album on which artists of today will cover Muppets-warbled tunes of yore. According to a Muppets fansite two tracks on the comp have been announced: Weezer will pay homage to its music-video co-stars with their take on “The Rainbow Connection,” while the Fray is going to take on “Mahna Mahna” (which I fear will have the unfortunate side effect of putting poor old Rowlf to sleep). I guess it wouldn’t be too far of a stretch to think that the always-synergistic Lady GaGa will somehow be involved—perhaps she will sing, and perform a water ballet, to “Miss Piggy’s Fantasy”, and thus spark a big Lady-on-Miss row? MORE »
bad ideas
Novelty Bands With Really Bad Names: Another Thing We Can Blame On The Internet
“From the same people that bring you ‘Dude, is it gay?,’ ‘Monkey Business,’ and ‘STD News,’ comes the greatest band in all the Universe: TAINTSTICK.” And just in case you were wondering if by some miracle of press releases actually reflecting reality being true the band in question could be better than its shitty, shitty name, I invite you to listen to their track “Apple Juice,” which brings to mind lobotomized old Beach Boys songs performed on the cheapest synthesizers available at Radio Shack, only with new words that are full of slightly stale memes—like rhyming “bacon” with “Clay Aiken”! MORE »
bad ideas
Well, Slap Me Silly And Call Me A Lamestain: Gen X Radio Debuts
Clear Channel has flipped one of its Louisville stations to a format called “Louie,” which the bigwigs are actually saying is the first firmament in what will be come to known as “Gen X radio.” Yes, the generation that inspired so much Boomer disdain is finally getting a format to call all its own, although the music associated with it may not be what you necessarily think of when you think of slackers and Singles. Quoth CC market president Bill Gentry: “It’s focused on a musical experience… [that] crosses cultures from grunge, hip-hop, hair bands, boy bands and more.” And another CC higher-up has this to say: “[Louie will] capture how 30-somethings listen to music, and it ignores genres and categories.” Sounds sorta Jack-y to me, but then again, perhaps that ill-conceived marketing will inspire further nostalgia for those 30somethings who remember all too well being ineptly pandered to back in the day. The playlist of Louie’s inaugural hour after the jump. MORE »
bad ideas
Wolfgang Van Halen Is Once Again Traveling Through Time
Van Halen’s attempts to erase former bassist Michael Anthony from its history and swap in any trace of him with images of Eddie Van Halen’s son, Wolfgang, have been as well-documented as they’ve been awkward. So it probably shouldn’t surprise anyone that the forthcoming release of a VH-themed edition of Guitar Hero—which only uses songs from the band’s David Lee Roth-era catalogue—has digitially added the 18-year-old bassist to performances that would have taken place some seven years before his birth. MORE »
bad ideas
Ashley Tisdale’s New Album: If It’s Too Loud, You Have Ears
The musically omnivorous site Popdose reviewed High School Musical-spawned starlet Ashley Tisdale’s Guilty Pleasure, and the report, despite having the subtitle “How Bad Can It Be?”, is actually not all that bad: Writer Jack Feerick has fun playing what he calls “Spot The Influence” with the album and marveling at its unhingedness, although he hates that the act of listening to it has unwittingly dragged him into the Loudness Wars that previously trapped people who committed the crime of wanting to listen to Metallica’s Death Magnetic: MORE »
bad ideas
Sad-Song-Stuffed British Compilation Album Provides Most Compelling Excuse For “Death By Audio” Yet
Britain is no stranger to the hastily assembled compilation album; why, the country’s Best… Albums Ever! series alone has entrants that honor air guitar, barbecues, and girl power. But the compilation Time To Say Goodbye kind of takes things to a new level. The two-disc set–which, the chart-watching site Popjustice notes, came out shortly after the death of British reality-TV star Jade Goody captivated the country and put it in a “wallowing, boo-hoo… mood”–is so chock-full of sad songs, one almost hopes that Big Fun is hidden in there as a secret bonus track. Not to mention that it has a cover that inadvertently recalls Whipped Cream And Other Delights, no doubt to entice people who might be a little turned off by the crazily depressive nature of an album that sequences “Over The Rainbow” back-to-back with “Candle In The Wind.” MORE »
