Decades from now, historians will remember the front half of 2013 as “The Great Beyonce Drought,” or maybe “That Time Beyonce Trolled Us All.” Looking for Beyonce to get her grown woman on and give you a full song to bump? Want to buy something on iTunes? Feel like hearing a Beyonce tune on the radio? Sorry! Not gonna happen.
See her in her H&M ad, high above Times Square, mocking you with her flawlessness. See her doing press for a voiceover role in some animated film you only want to see because Beyonce’s in it. See her promise you a new single, a new album, and then go on tour for the next thousand years. It’s all just soda-pop jingles, inexplicable trap-rap promo tracks casually discarded on Tumblr and cartoon balladeering now. Beyonce’s calling the shots, and Beyonce wants it like this. More »