from “iamnotkatyperry,” who stopped by our… MORE »
POSTS FROM "wank mining" CATEGORY
wank mining
Five Reasons Why The So-Called Katy Perry Nude Photo Isn’t Real
I don’t know about you, my morning was brightened when I saw a bunch of blog posts about there reportedly being a Katy Perry nude pic floating around the Internet. “Hasn’t she done this already?” people asked me about the oh-so-annoying singer upon hearing the news. Well, no, she hasn’t, and guess what? She still hasn’t, or at least not in a public way; the pic obviously ain’t real. After the jump, five reasons why, like the Meg White and Fergie sex tapes before it, this somewhat depressing bathroom self-portrait is obviously the operation of someone who thought “hey, I look enough like this popular entertainer to maybe get some semi-anonymous face (and ass) time on the Internet!” and then whipped out her camera. MORE »
art?
Animal Collective Gets The Magic Stink Eye
Maura is making me bury the cover for Animal Collective’s forthcoming Merriweather Post Pavilion after the jump because its optical-illusion undulation gives her headaches. Truth be told, it’s another in a series of crappy Animal Collective album covers. (I eagerly anticipate someone in the comments changing that last statement to “a series of crappy Animal Collective albums.” Y’all are so predictable.) MORE »
wank mining
Oh God, There May Be A Britney Spears Sex Tape
Sure, one could argue that the currently image-rehabbing pop tartlet Britney Spears reached the end of her innocence long ago. But is there not something wholly depressing about the idea of a tape featuring Spears, one that is allegedly two hours long and has as its co-star that paparazzo who she was canoodling with during her dark Blackout? Especially since she’s apparently wearing that pink wig that characterized her crazypants 2007-08? Of course, Adnan Ghalib’s not-very-shocking “revelation” could all be some more viral marketing for Circus (don’t forget, the “Womanizer” video premieres tonight!), and Radar helpfully explains how all of this could actually benefit Britney where it counts–you know, her bank account: MORE »
wank mining
The World Will Get The Jimi Hendrix Sex Tape That It Wasn’t Really Asking For
It’s been more than 60 days since Vivid Entertainment first broke the news that they were in possession of a Jimi Hendrix sex tape, and since the company hasn’t receieved concrete word that the tape is bogus from Jimi’s posthumous license company Experience Music LLC, look for it on the shelves of a seedy store near you in the near future. When people look back on this era*, what conclusion do you think they’ll come to from the current era’s obsession with watching celebrities mate, even dead ones who can’t be the objects of any realistic fantasies because their bones were turned into dust long ago? I shudder when I think about it. Anyway, for those of you who would like a primer as to what, exactly, will be on this video, a New York Times recap of it from a few months ago is after the jump. MORE »
wank mining
The Jimi Hendrix Sex Tape: Proof That No Celebrity Is Safe From This Nation’s Constant Wank Mining
Vivid Entertainment is releasing a 45-minute DVD purporting to be a sex tape of Jimi Hendrix, and from the description, it sounds like the tape is definitely maybe Hendrix. Or an impersonator. Or, y’know, some dude who has an Afro and rings on his fingers. As the New York Times describes it: “The film shows a naked man who resembles Hendrix, the guitar legend who died in 1970, wearing a bandanna in his Afro, having sex with two brunettes in a dimly lighted bedroom. His full face appears on screen for only a few seconds, with his eyes closed. In other portions there are flashes of his profile. But his hands, bedecked with rings, roam large on the screen at times. The film has no audio.”
Leaving aside the distastefulness of digging up someone’s corpse in order to make a buck from those people who are so desperate for something new to jerk off to, they’ll pay to see their long-departed guitar heroes (or their professional doppelgangers) in flagrante, the question remains: Hasn’t anyone who’s seen footage of Hendrix playing guitar pretty much know what his during-sex facial expressions were like anyway? In case you need a refresher course, there’s a clip of my favorite Hendrix track, “Fire”–complete with song-opening tongue waggle!–below. MORE »
wank mining
High School Musical Star Is Deeply Sorry For Inadvertently Providing Planet With Wank Mining Material
Occasionally* Gelfling-esque High School Musical star Vanessa Hudgens has mostly suppressed the shame of having naked pictures she snapped for an ex hit the blogs back in September, but the incident has left her with a “valuable lesson,” one that she “tries to impart on other young women.”
MORE »
wank mining
The Latest In Phony Sex Tapes: Production Values! Pete Wentz! That “Hell’s Kitchen” Chick!
The rumor that there was a sex tape featuring Fall Out Boy’s Pete Wentz must have thrilled that cougar-mom who was waiting in line at Sam Ash a few weeks ago, but sadly for her, it isn’t real. Which is to say that the footage does really feature him, but he’s in “character,” acting alongside Bonnie Muirhead, a.k.a. Bonnie from Hell’s Kitchen, in a scene from his pal’s film Goodnight Moon. What does it say about my blase attitude toward these OMG SEX TAPES that my first thought upon reading about this wasn’t “how stupid can people be to think that a sex tape with a soundtrack and multiple camera angles is real??”, but “Aw, man, Julia was robbed“? Anyway, the offending scene is after the jump, so as not to get the few of you who are actually at work today fired. MORE »
wank mining
“Meg White Sex Tape” Actually Product Of Internet Guy’s Feverish “Wank Mining”
When I first mentioned the sudden popularity of the search term “meg white sex tape” to a friend of mine Sunday night, we had the following exchange:
maura@idolator: so do you think the meg white sex tape is legit
unidentified_lurker: oh my god where did you see that?
unidentified_lurker: i mean i’ve seen it
maura@idolator: it was on google trends
unidentified_lurker: i’m saying who is purporting it’s legit
unidentified_lurker: it’s a message board joke
unidentified_lurker: i was thinking about forwarding it to you
unidentified_lurker: as a funny joke
unidentified_lurker: it’s great to have a video on the internet for indie rock people to jerk off and pretend it’s meg white tho
And we all know how that turned out. Anyway, The Daily Swarm plumbed the archives of the message board Hipinion and found where the clip was born–the mind of a poster named Itsmecraig: MORE »
