Christopher Weingarten's Posts

upcoming releases

Control: Janet Jackson Writes Weight-Loss Book

Janet Jackson was told by America or TMZ or someone that she was totally Chubbo City, lost a ton of weight she didn't need to lose, and now has a book coming out so you can help perpetuate size myths in the privacy of your own, Cheeto-filled home. Will it involve wrapping youself in those weird leather things she likes to wear? Or maybe, you know, dancing? She really dances a lot. You should try dancing! Or exercising. At all. More »

5:25 PM on Mon Mar 10 2008
By Christopher Weingarten
723 views, 9 comments

Latest by rhythmchyc: @af607105 See, that hataration is what I'm talking about! more »

listening station

Diving Onto Torche's "Grenades"

When I was asked to guest-blog, I was truly upset that the gig wouldn't be like "Weird Al" Yankovic hosting AL-TV in 1988 and I could just play Utopia videos all day. Luckily one of the bestest rock bands around dropped a new track on their MySpace page, thus barely meeting the vaguest, most minimal of requirements for a "news peg"! More »

3:30 PM on Mon Mar 10 2008
By Christopher Weingarten
235 views, 2 comments

hidden talents

Nickelback's Chad Kroeger Gives Us One More Reason To Be Jealous

Everyone knows Nickelback sucks dicks. But did you know lead sensitivo-mook Chad Kroeger used to be able to suck his own dick? And would do it for little more than a case of warm Miller Lites? Hey, I'm cool with it as long as someone else doesn't have to touch that thing. I bet it's all curly and discolored and distended like that frilly noggin of his! With a beaded necklace and a guest spot from Billy Gibbons! More »

3:15 PM on Mon Mar 10 2008
By Christopher Weingarten
2,887 views, 28 comments

Latest by Big Gray.: Dick. more »

duets

Barack Obama To Q-Tip: Can I Kick It?

According to the New York Post, future popular-vote winner/Supreme Court-mandated loser Barack Obama is going to appear on the next Q-Tip album. Yeah, that's right, Roots. The best you could get was Patrick Stump? Q-Tip hasn't released a record in nine years and he gets the maybe-next-president! More »

1:15 PM on Mon Mar 10 2008
By Christopher Weingarten
1,834 views, 4 comments

leak of the day

The Roots' New Single Is A Gym Class Zero

ARTIST: The Roots ft. Patrick Stump
TITLE: "Birthday Girl"
WEB DEBUT: March 10, 2008 More »

Apple (the good one, not those hippies who put out Badfinger and James Taylor records) has said that the UK press' recent speculation that the Beatles' catalog will make its digital-music-store debut on the iTunes Store soon is, in fact, only speculation. How will we ever hear the Beatles' music now? [Billboard] MORE »

3 comments

words words words

Times Of London: "Critics Are Dicks! P.S.: You're Dumb!"

Headline of the day: Music critics love albums that the public hates. It doesn't appear in the latest issue of No Shit! magazine—it's in the Times Of London! Apparently there's a huge difference between the stuff a bunch of people who listen to a hundred albums a week think is good and people who listen to maybe a hundred albums a year think is good! Who knew? Besides, like, everyone? More »

10:30 AM on Mon Mar 10 2008
By Christopher Weingarten
735 views, 13 comments

Fashion

Breaking: Vampire Weekend's Mothers Dress Them Funny

This weekend, Vampire Weekend cemented their superstar status, joining the ranks of such timeless acts as 3-D, the Tragically Hip, the Bus Boys, Timbuk3, and the Hothouse Flowers as musical guests on Saturday Night Live! There's been a lot of talk about whether these guys are really Columbia douchebags or just playing up an image of Columbia douchebags and while there've been some salient points about the precarious position of class and race, we... wait a minute, what the fuck is that guy wearing? Really? A scarf the size of a tent? Indoors? He looks like Stuart Little after he curls up for a nap inside a shirt sleeve. More »

9:30 AM on Mon Mar 10 2008
By Christopher Weingarten
3,777 views, 56 comments

Latest by SpeedyGonzalas: "Going preppy is punk rock if you think about it." You are so OTM. GG Allin was an Izod wearing bastard weren't he? Preppy asshole, that GG. more »

Announcements

Today's Guest-Blogger Makes Idolator More Whiney Than Usual

Oh, hi. I didn't see you there.

My good friend Moira asked me to guest-edit my favorite blog. I said to her, "That sounds like a great idea! Can it be the day that everyone is packing and panicking and boarding planes for SXSW so absolutely no one will ever see it?" She, of course, said "yes." As much as the snippy "whatever"s, exasperated sighs and eye rolls that Mora solely uses as conversation tools with me constitute a "yes."

8:46 AM on Mon Mar 10 2008
By Christopher Weingarten
422 views, 4 comments