Well, the weeks of polling are over, and we have a winner in our first annual Worst Album Cover Of The Year Tournament. Before you click through, feel free to reflect on our final eight, and check out a late-arrival cover that should at least get some sort of honorable mention. OK, the suspense is killing you, right? Right?
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The battle royale between Ted Nugent and Satellite Party ends Monday at noon ET. That's a little less than three days from now, and if you've waited months to help decide the "winner" of our tournament, now's the time when every vote counts. Plus don't forget that you can also still decide who takes home third place, Megadeth or Helalyn Flowers. Voting for the bronze medal winner will also close Monday at noon.
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So many voters seemed morose over the loss of both Helalyn Flowers (who knew an obscure industrial-goth band would become such a part of all of our lives?) and Dave Mustaine and crew (who have always been a part of all our lives) that we thought we'd give you a belated Christmas present: The chance to choose who will take home the coveted bronze in our Worst Album Cover Of The Year Tournament. Will the choice between the rivetheads and the Rattlehead prove to be one of the hardest? All signs point to yes.
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And now, the poll that has been weeks in the making: Idolator's Worst Album Cover Of The Year Tournament final. And what a showdown it is! Ted Nugent vs. Perry Farrell. Crappy script fonts vs. crappy script fonts. An ominous-looking shadow vs. blatant abuse of drop shadow. Women-as-meat misogyny vs. some weird concept of a party in space that I don't have the time to lay out in detail right now, but that does have Nuno Bettencourt on its guest list. An oddly placed guitar vs. an oddly placed wife. Which is truly the worst, though? That's up to you to decide. Voting is after the jump; polls will stay open until noon ET on Monday, after which we'll send a Spirograph to the "winning" label's art department.
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Our Worst Album Cover Of The Year Tournament is counting down to its inevitable close, but those of you who actually had off on Monday may have missed your chance to vote in our semifinals. The last four covers standing are above—ain't that tableau a beaut?—and we'll be holding their respective polls open until 11:59 p.m. ET, so get voting! Only you can help create a world in which Dave Mustaine and Perry Farrell—or the chick on the Love Grenade cover and Helalyn Flowers' metal-hungry duo—fight for the title of 2007's biggest aesthetic horror show.
Semifinal 1: Ted Nugent vs. Megadeth: Vote here.
Semifinal 2: Satellite Party vs. Helalyn Flowers: Vote here.
Semifinal bracket [PDF]
You know, last week I really thought dark horse Helalyn Flowers might actually go all the way in our tournament, but then I woke up this morning and saw who they were up against in the semifinal round. There's no way this Satellite is gonna crash now. Perry F. and crew will go on to tussle with the Nuge in the final round for the real bloodletting. Still, I'm actually a little sniffly over Helalyn's (presumed) loss, but maybe you will prove my pessimism wrong by voting for the scrappy goth duo that no one expected would come so far.
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So! Today begins the semifinal round in our Worst Album Cover Of The Year Tournament (voting lasts until 11:59 p.m. ET Wednesday, and the finals begin Thursday). Ted Nugent's special-edition Love Grenade cover has been the favorite since way before our bracket was even constructed, but remember: Nugent's opponents, Megadeth, were the ones who knocked out the other Love Grenade cover. And the United Abominations cover does have the advantage of kinda living up to the name of the album it's representing. Vote after the jump!
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This is it, the final battle in our Southest Bracket, down to two-headed Helalyn Flowers and twice-hatted Toby Keith. Will Toby put a boot up the electro-goths' asses or will the Italian duo fell another American country star after slaying Brad Paisley in the last round? And remember: this could be your last chance to puzzle over the mystery that is the Helalyn cover!
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It's the final of the Anatomically Incorrect Bracket here in our Worst Album Cover Of The Year Tournament. Really, what more can you say about these two covers, except that I suspect that Ted Nugent would be very impressed by Hell Rell's mouth, and he should probably invite the bullet-toothed rapper over for a home-cooked meal sometime soon? Could you imagine being a fly on the wall there? Anyway, voting's after the jump.
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The final battle in our Bad Photoshop bracket is dominated by a certain color, but which pukey purple powerhouse will go on to be crowned the winner? Personally, my bet's on Perry Farrell payload of pure puce poo-poo, one of the few covers in our tournament that can make the vile violet of Blake Lewis' Audio Daydream look pleasing to the eye.
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Our Worst Album Cover Of The Year Tournament's quarterfinals begin with the last battle in our We Aren't The World Bracket. In one corner, you have Megadeth's Photoshopped-out-the-wazoo debutante ball for their new-look Vic Rattlehead; in the other, you have PJ Olsson's crying, nose-picking, 9/11-remembering cherub. Given the hilarious comments that both these covers have inspired in the past, this may be our toughest race of all four of our quarterfinal matchups! Vote after the jump.
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And here it is, the final battle in the second round of our tournament. Will the winner be Helalyn Flowers and their unsantiary habits when it comes to sharing tasty metallic treats? Or will it be Brad Paisley, who at least knows enough to keep the chrome on his hideous font out of his mouth? Cast your vote for over-Photoshopped goth or under-designed country after the jump!
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The last day of our second-round battles in the Worst Album Cover Of The Year Tournament brings us to the Southeast Bracket, where the behatted Toby Keith faces off against Technicolor revolutionary M.I.A. Man, this is one battle that I wish would be fought via in-person debate, and not proprietary poll software. Could you imagine? There would be things flying around the room 10 seconds in! Anyway, voting's after the jump.
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Much like Spank Rock and Benny Blanco's greasy hindquarters, many of you think that Hell Rell's For The Hell Of It happens to be one of the best album covers of 2007. (I happen to agree with you on this one.) Surely this means that the two faces of R&B/hip-hop evil will win this round in a walk? Or will the bullet-mouthed Diplomat have enough ammo to take out Bow Wow and Omarion?
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The two pictures above will probably clue you in as to what bracket in our Worst Album Cover Of The Year Tournament is being featured today. And the covers themselves are pretty much self-explanatory, although I suspect that the Nuge is going to beat the Bangers & Cash cover by a mile thanks to its slam-you-over-the-noggin humorlessness and the fact that so many of our commenters think that the B&C cover should be voted "so best." But what I want to know is this: Does posting this double-whammy give me license to put up a bunch of videos by Bratmobile and Tiger Trap later this afternoon? It's either that or a lye shower as far as washing the "ugh" off me goes.
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Today's second entry in the Bad Photoshop bracket pits Coheed And Cambria's No World For Tomorrow against Blake Lewis' Audio Daydream, two covers that have led to more great jokes from the comments section than perhaps any others in our tournament so far! Seriously, Trapper Keeper gags, flashbacks to the days of school photos, a K-Pax shout-out, Frank Frazetta and Double Dragon and Matt Foley references... these two monstrostities have really inspired y'all. But alas, only one may advance to the next round.
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We turn now to the "Bad Photoshop" bracket of the Worst Album Cover Of The Year Tournament, which should probably be temporarily named the "My Eyes" bracket in honor of the aesthetic travesties facing off in this installment of the contest. Yiiii! In one corner, we have Satellite Party's Ultra Payloaded, which shows that Perry Farrell's facility for titling albums is almost as bad as his ability to not abuse the drop shadow. And in the other, we have Britney Spears, who continues her quest to be the queen of Google News with the blink-and-you'll-be-blinded cover of Blackout. Which deserves to make it on to the next round? Vote after the jump!
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Idolator
