According to Roger's morning dispatch, both Lee Trink and Jason Flom are losing their jobs at the Capitol Music Group, although Friedman manages to botch their job titles, so who knows. Either way, if the story is true, Hands plans to try running the label without actual executives at all.

Neither Trink nor Flom will be replaced. Guy Hands and the folks from Terra Firma, the new owners of EMI who have no experience in the record business, don't believe in label presidents.

This means that as Coldplay — the group headed by Gwyneth Paltrow's husband, Chris Martin — releases "Viva La Vida," the biggest album of its career, its American record label will have no one running it. This also means that the Beatles will have no one directly representing them. Neither will Katy Perry, who has the No. 1 single in the country with "I Kissed a Girl," or any other Capitol acts.

And the funny part is that none of them knows it. As of Monday morning, no one from EMI had bothered to call the people representing any of those acts to tell them the news. They even left the Beatles' Apple Records out of the loop. The Beatles catalog, which is not available for official downloading anywhere, still sells millions of CDs for Capitol.

This is the way I am told all the EMI labels will be run. Nick Gatfield is coming in to take over as "president of A&R labels for North America and the U.K." for all of EMI. But the individual labels will not have presidents. They will have "A&R presidents" and heads of marketing.

Possibly why none of the Capitol divisions haven't been informed is because the move isn't really happening, but even the idea that a label would go without actual presidents, especially after hiring a musically indifferent virtual-world bubble veteran yesterday, is a boldly ridiculous move. Maybe that sort of crazy talk is exactly what EMI needs to survive! Have Apple Martin run the company, or possibly some trained monkeys in Katy Perry t-shirts. It's a bold new world of possibilities when you've given up on reason.

Coldplay, Beatles Lose Leader [Fox News]

Description: Enjoy an experience of a lifetime as you meet with top executives from music label Capitol Records in New York City to pitch your music in an exclusive meeting. This is an opportunity of a lifetime for anyone looking to get noticed in the music business...

Donated by: EMI Music

Terms: Offer valid for the musical talent of one act (whether it's a solo act or a band). Winner is responsible for transportation to and from New York, NY and the Capitol Music Group offices, as well as all related expenses. Scheduling is subject to availability. This offer expires on 6/12/08.

Wow, no limo? The auction is "valued" at $5,000, but so far the high bid is still $275, with nine days left to go. (If you're more jazz, or maybe only a little bit rock'n'roll, you can also bid to audition for Blue Note.) Winning offers no guarantee that the folks at Capitol will do anything more than offer a polite but firm "we'll call you," which might be why someone's already bid more than three times as much to win a chance to meet the ladies of The View. And that's with no more Star Jones.

Pitch to Capitol Music Group Executives to Try and Launch Your Music Career! [Charity Buzz; HT: therichgirlsareweeping]

It seems to me and many others that since the year 2000 Capitol is either unable or unwilling to offer me an opportunity to (1) release and market my music and (2) thereby allow me to generate income for myself and the company. So the logical and fiscal thing to do would be to allow a third party capable of successfully translating my talent into profit, do just that. Instead I've been foiled in every attempt to either work within the confines of Capitol; when I've tried to find any amicable way of bringing in any interested third party I've been thwarted by egomaniacal executives who refuse to be the least bit reasonable in my efforts to work out a solution for all parties involved.

For six years EMI/Capitol has enforced a contract that they have breached time after time, paying attorneys thousand of dollars to bind me to a record deal that they themselves refuse to honor. I ask you, how is not allowing me to generate ANY income financially viable for their shareholders? How is not allowing me to work within or outside the company for six years morally justifiable? Now, after an entire decade, one third of my life, watching this label's entire artists' roster change at least five times over, I simply would like to ask why? Why are you doing this to me?

Among the more specific allegations:
- That Dr. Dre wouldn't allow to a song he produced for Ras Kass to be released as a single.
- That Capitol tried to counter-sue him out of existence when he sued the label for breach of contract.
- That he is considered "one of the most prolific urban poets of our time."

Ras Kass Releases Open Letter To Capitol Records [HHNLive.com]

Calling on [EMI execs] to replace Slater, the letter goes on: "We are in constant disbelief of the amount of money spent on these acts who are clearly a step behind what is happening in music . . . We work in constant fear of 'what Andy wants.' This man is a control freak . . . How much longer do we need to make sure he is happy - only to then see those choices fail?"

A source, who says the letter represents "dozens" of Capitol employees, told Page Six: "There are core artists like Bonnie Raitt and Roseanne Cash who are just being ignored. The feeling is [Slater] just let them die. Then there are artists like Morning Wood, which is going nowhere." The source adds that Slater is often unreachable and comes into the office late: "He's out at night at clubs and partying with girls."

Partying with girls and ignoring Bonnie Raitt? That's an actual job? We do that every day! But while we don't know what the day-to-day situation is like at Capitol—disgruntled and gruntled employees alike can feel free to let us know at tips@idolator.com—from a roster standpoint, it doesn't seem that different than what's going on at every other major label right now: Some crap works (Corrinne Bailey Rae, Yellowcard); some crap doesn't (Steriogram, The Star Spangles); and a lot of crap just falls in between (like our beloved Van Hunt).

That said, anyone responsible for foisting Morningwood on the world deserves to be held over a ledge. Not dropped, mind you—just given a little "What the hell were you thinking?" dangle.

Insiders Target Music Honcho [Page Six]