Bosses at label Geffen are blaming unpredictable Axl for the disappointing sales after he went AWOL for two months before the release date.

Despite all the effort put into one of the most extravagant rock albums of all time, staff could not contact Axl to get him to promote his rock epic.

In fact, they failed to make contact with him from the day he delivered the final cut. ...

An insider said: “Everyone knows Axl is a bit of a maverick genius and won’t do anything he doesn’t want to do.

“The label is really glad to have him back. But it is frustrating because the album would have had a much better chance of going to No1 if he had only been prepared to show his face.

“People have been trying to contact him for two months and he’s been completely AWOL.

“You would have thought after spending 15 years on an album you might do a few weeks promotion.”

Of course, this has to be taken with the usual Grain Of UK Tabloid Salt (approximate diameter: 12 inches), but you have to admit that the idea of Axl going into hiding immediately upon handing in his album, and only speaking through his lawyers when he wants to get pissy with carbonated-beverage manufacturers over their online coupons not working, doesn't seem all that far-fetched.

Axl goes AWOL [The Sun]

A visit to a Best Buy (store No. 467 in Levittown, N.Y.) made me even more curious. Copies of Chinese Democracy were plentiful (and the vinyl was $19.99?!), but there were no displays trumpeting the album's Best Buy exclusivity, just some endcap placement on a "best-selling albums" display where it shared space with this week's probable No. 1, 808s And Heartbreak. (The music section at this store was pretty sad overall; it was shoved in a corner of the front section behind the bigger-ticket items like cameras, and there were printouts taped to each endcap noting which letters were in which rows. I suspect that when satellite radio finally tanks, it'll be further relegated to the space right near the restrooms. Hey, maybe by then, music floor space will only be the size of one stall!)

So what's the deal? Did Best Buy overshoot? Were the suits thinking that the chain would quickly sell out of the inventory it had during the holiday shopping week, and that the free publicity engendered by the album—despite Axl Rose doing pretty much no press for it—would supersede any boost from a newspaper insert or in-store display? Or does everyone want to just wash their hands of this thing and move on to the big-ticket prize—the reunion of the "Axl's arm tattoo" lineup? And when will the vinyl be marked down to a price where it's actually worth buying. So many questions.

W. Axl Rose was relaxing one windswept fall morning on his ranch, surrounded by his happy herd of spotted ungulates. After many, many years, the release of Chinese Democracy was nigh, and Axl felt a deep, kinda kick-ass contentment. Like he felt really good. Totally boss and on the ball. But then his cell phone rang!

It was creepy ol' Buckethead, Axl's one-time pal turned arch irritant. Buckethead claimed to have stolen the master tape of Chinese Democracy from the studio and hidden it somewhere on his secret volcanic island ninja lair! (The island also had giant, possibly irradiated mutant lizards and a Fuddruckers.) Buckhethead told poor bewildered Axl that he (you know, Axl) had only 24 hours to find the master tape—or else Buckethead would leak it to the Internet!

Axl flew all day and night in his little red helicopter, looking for Buckethead's island. Axl got very, very sleepy, but he knew he needed to keep looking. Otherwise people might enjoy all his hard work at an inferior bit rate. And for free!

Eventually Axl spotted a Tyrannosaurus Rex with a giant chicken bucket on its head, and he landed his little red helicopter. He was ambushed by Buckethead's crack ninja commando squad, who had been hand picked from the cream of strip mall martial arts schools across the country. It was hard work, but Axl kicked, like, 100 ninjas' asses. "Welcome to the jungle," Buckethead said when Axl had finished decimating his henchninjas. "Thanks," Axl said. "But your hospitality can't help you now!" Then Axl snatched up the master tape and flew away. Also he blew up the island or something.

But Axl's adventure wasn't over yet. As he flew home, he passed over Japan, and he spied grouchy Gamera attacking Tokyo once again. Axl used his AX1 giant robot to help Japan's Self-Defense Forces throw a whuppin' on that big jerky turtle. Many sites of culture and commerce were demolished in the process, but Axl promised to send Japan a money order for the damage. (Possibly a fib.)

By then Axl was very tired and hungry and plus also he had to take a poop. But he was thankfully almost home. As he flew back into American airspace, he headed straight for his good friends at Best Buy, who would finally sell Chinese Democracy to all of Axl's fans, sounding the way it was supposed to sound and stuff.

THE END.

Beyond enticing pre-Thanksgiving shoppers, the move is tied to the structure of Best Buy's sales week, which runs from Sunday to Saturday. As such, "Chinese Democracy" would not be eligible to chart on The Billboard 200 until the week of Dec. 1, according to Nielsen SoundScan.

I suspect that the digital-sales ruling has something to do with albums that are available in both physical and digital form, but that come out first digitally, not "counting" chart-wise until they're available everywhere, so as to ensure that their chart placement is as high as possible. But I could be wrong about that! SoundScan is pretty secretive when it comes to announcing changes like this, perhaps because it's so easily swayed by outside influences. Either way, instead of theorizing over whether the album's sales would beat those of Beyonce (whose probably-inflated Hits estimates put her split-personality sales around the 500,000 mark) we now get to prognosticate about Axl taking on Kanye and Brandon Flowers. Fun! I think.

GNR's "Chinese Democracy" Gets Release Date [Billboard]
Rumor Mill [Hits]

The Communist Party Of China: The Party-published tabloid Global Times printed a piece today entitled “American Band Releases Album Viciously Attacking China” that accused Axl Rose of being a pawn of the U.S. government who was helping Washington use the idea of democracy as “one of their game pieces to control the world.” The WSJ is quick to note, however, that this piece technically doesn't constitute any sort of official smackdown of Axl: "The tabloid format newspaper is published by the Communist Party’s official mouthpiece, the People’s Daily, but isn’t thought to always represent official views, like its parent operation and certain other major media." And there's even a site geared toward Chinese audiences that is streaming the whole thing for free, although I'm pretty sure it's unsanctioned by any Axl or any government entity. [WSJ China Journal]

Reactions from other notables and semi-notables, including Duff McKagan, after the jump!

Duff McKagan: "I'm sure there's probably amazing stuff on there, just know there. I've only got that one song and a listen at a gym to go off, so I can't really say that much about it. But how do I feel about it? Good for him that this record's finally coming out. Obviously, I wish him the best. I'm glad that people that have been waiting for this record have something to finally go get." He then goes on to talk about Shiny Toy Guns and how he has no attention span for music these days. (I hear you, dude. I hear you. Although maybe you might want to try and listen to a band that isn't Shiny Toy Guns, just to make sure your feeling isn't borne in part by their not-very-goodness?) [Blabbermouth]

Jimmy Iovine, Interscope-Geffen-A&M chairman: "Axl delivered a great Guns N' Roses album. Period. He did. It took him a long time for whatever reasons. I am sure there were many different reasons. Bottom line is, he did it. It's hard to say if something is worth the wait, because how the hell do any of us know? I judge it based on what it is. Does it sound better than 99% of the rock records out there? Yes. I'm just thrilled for him." One thing to note: This interview was conducted before first-day sales totals came in. [Billboard]

Hinder: "I heard the stuff that was leaked, and I know the mixes weren't there, but, being musicians, you can hear through that stuff—you still hear the songs, and to be honest, the songs just aren't there," drummer Cody Hanson told MTV. "It almost sounds too artsy; there's something about it. It's not what it was. It's just missing something, and it sounds overproduced.... I guess that's what happens whenever you've got 20 years to sit in the studio." And when you've lost Hinder, you've lost... uh, how many people bought Take It To The Limit again? Oh, right. Carry on. [MTV]

Warrior Soul: "Chinese Democracy has everything a Warrior Soul fan should expect from a Warrior Soul record," the agit-rock band's bassist proclaimed. "It has an ear for an argument, puke on its shoes and remains untouched by trends or the long-arm of the corporations." You might be just as confused as I am by this quote (Best Buy is still sorta corporate, right?)—until you realize that the Chinese Democracy in question is actually Warrior Soul's new album of the same name. Well, I guess since the Offspring never went through with their album-naming joke, someone had to. [Blabbermouth]

Mike Barthel reports from Syracuse, N.Y.:

Not much to report in Syracuse, though I got there around 3 so maybe everyone who wanted to buy it already had? The rack was looking fairly barren, but I waited around for 20 minutes or so and didn't see anyone browse it.

And Al Shipley checks in from Laurel, Md., which is outside the Baltimore area:

the GNR display all the way in the back of the CD/DVD section was dwarfed by the nearby Sopranos display. The higher price listed at the top of the display is for the double LP, but I didn't see any Chinese Democracy vinyl in the store. I was there during the first hour the store was open and the only other person I saw near the GNR racks was a BB employee who was still stocking it with discs, so I didn't get to interview anyone there, but if you want me to write any kind of spiel about what I saw let me know.

The scene in Astoria, N.Y. was similarly barren. What was your local Best Buy like? Was there any buzz at all? Feel free to share your experiences.

1994: Work begins on Chinese Democracy.

Aug. 31, 1995: Axl informs Slash and Duff McKagan that he's "leaving [Guns N' Roses] and taking the name with him."

1996: Slash quits.

1997: "In 1997 Todd Sullivan, who was then a talent executive for [Geffen], sent Mr. Rose a sampling of CD's produced by different people, and encouraged him to choose one to work on "Chinese Democracy." Mr. Sullivan says he received a call informing him that Mr. Rose had run over the albums with a car."

August 1997: Duff quits. Matt Sorum is either fired or quits, depending on who you ask.

Nov. 2, 1999: "Oh My God" is included on the soundtrack for the Schwarzenegger pic End Of Days. (Also on that soundtrack: Sonic Youth, Limp Bizkit, and Creed.)

January 2000: Then-manager Doug Goldstein tells Rolling Stone that the album is scheduled for "a summer release."

Jan. 1, 2001: Guns N' Roses perform at the House Of Blues in Vegas. The lineup: Buckethead, Robin Finck and Paul Tobias (a.k.a. Paul Huge); keyboardist Dizzy Reed; former Primus drummer Brian "Brain" Mantia; and Tommy Stinson. Regarding Stinson's involvement, Axl cracks a joke onstage: "'The Replacements' would be a good name for this band."

Jan. 15, 2001: Axl and his band of hired hands play the Rock In Rio festival; the set opens with a short video that depicts Axl as a Howard Hughes type, complete with long fingernails. Among the new songs on the setlist: "Madagascar."

May 12, 2002: I see the band at Madison Square Garden. They sound pretty good, although Axl does run offstage a lot. New songs on the setlist: "Madagascar," "The Blues" (which is on the album as "Street Of Dreams"), and the title track.

Aug. 29, 2002: GNR surprises the crowd at MTV's 2002 Video Music Awards with a medley that includes "Welcome To The Jungle" and "Madagascar."

February 2004: GNR's label, Geffen, states "Having exceeded all budgeted and approved recording costs by millions of dollars, it is Mr Rose's obligation to fund and complete the album, not Geffen's."

March 2004: Buckethead leaves the band and is replaced by the suspiciously similar-in-pseudonymic-meter Bumblefoot.

Jan. 14, 2006: "People will hear music this year," Axl tells Rolling Stone.

June 27, 2006: Axl is accused of biting a security guard in Sweden.

Aug. 31, 2006: Axl introduces the Killers' performance at the 2006 Video Music Awards. Why? Well, why not?

Sept. 11, 2006: New York runs a bit about Axl backstage at the aforementioned VMAs that ends with the line, "Rose promises the album will be released by the end of the year."

Oct. 20, 2006: A snippet of "Better" can be heard in a prototype Harley-Davidson ad that is quickly scrubbed from the Internet, but not quickly enough to not make Rose's proclamation in the previous item true.

Dec. 14, 2006: Axl Rose fires his manager, tells the world that Chinese Democracy's for-real-this-time release date is March 6, 2007.

Feb. 20, 2007: A full version of "Better" makes its way to the Web.

Feb. 22, 2007: The March 6 release date isn't happening, according to longtime Axl associate Del James.

Feb. 27, 2007: British music retailer HMV's Web site claims the album is coming out in September 2007. (This does not happen.)

May 7, 2007: New studio versions of a few Chinese Democracy songs, including the title track, land online.

Sept. 26, 2007: Rolling Stone finds a picture of Axl emerging from a recording studio.

March 26, 2008: In what will turn out to be the biggest promotional campaign by a plum-flavored soda this year, if not this decade, Dr Pepper announces that everyone in America will get a free piece of product should Chinese Democracy come out.

April 4, 2008: Rumors that Axl Rose is playing almost-finished Chinese Democracy tracks for label execs start.

April 10, 2008: Those rumors intensify, turning into claims that Axl delivered the album to his label.

June 11, 2008: Some guy offers to donate $1,000 to charity if he can get his mitts on a previously unleaked demo, an offer that's somehow more chintzy-seeming than the whole 50 Cent/Taco Bell failed promotion.

June 18, 2008: Antiquiet streams nine songs from the album, and much legalese ensues.

July 17, 2008: Rumors that the album will come out this year, and that it'll be a four-disc set, and that Axl will appear at the VMAS fly around the E3 conference. One actually turns out to be true!

Aug. 14, 2008: The Bucketheady "Shackler's Revenge," which was supposed to make its debut in Rock Band 2, leaks.

Oct. 22, 2008: The title track hits radio; Chinese Democracy release is confirmed by press release

Oct. 23, 2008: Dr Pepper reveals that it was serious about the "free soda" thing.

Oct. 30, 2008: Four more low-quality leaks emerge, although good luck trying to hear the songs through the audio scratching.

Nov. 18, 2008: The album for real leaks, in full.

Nov. 19, 2008: Klosterman weighs in.

Nov. 20, 2008: We try and figure out why Axl finally pulled the trigger.

Nov. 22-24, 2008: Chinese Democracy released around the globe, world subsequently ends (?)

Chinese Democracy [iTunes Store]
Chinese Democracy [iTunes Store]

Only Axl knows for sure. But part of the answer may lie in the idea that Chinese Democracy had, thanks to its many delays, transformed from an album-slash-punchline into a vehicle for Axl to resolve festering disputes and debts tied to his six-year stint as a client of the Sanctuary Group. Sanctuary, an ambitious British artist management firm, spent years-–and a small fortune—trying to branch into various segments of the music business. As financial disaster loomed last year, Sanctuary sold itself to Universal Music Group—which, you may remember, is the same company that puts out Guns N’ Roses’ music.

Axl effectively fired Sanctuary as his management firm in December 2006, after months of speculation and public comments from the company’s top manager, Merck Mercuriadis, trumpeting the imminent release of Chinese Democracy. Rose, in an open letter posted on the band’s Web site, cited “an overall sense of a lack of respect by management for the band and crew and each individual's particular expertise” as part of the reasons behind Mercuriadis’ firing. (He also claimed that the album would come out March 6, 2007. The best intentions…)

But Axl couldn’t completely kick Sanctuary to the curb—during his time as a client, he struck deals with Sanctuary subsidiaries and affiliates that resulted in them overseeing his music-publishing rights and the production of Guns N’ Roses merchandise. And since at least early 2004 (when Universal’s Geffen Records made clear it wouldn’t underwrite additional production costs for Chinese Democracy) Sanctuary had functioned as Rose’s bank as well, deferring or delaying some commissions for managing him and offering other financial support. According to sources familiar with the situation, Axl’s tab reached well into the seven-figure mark.

By the time Axl announced his firing of Mercuriadis, not only had he piled up a debt to the management company, he had been dragged into a series of disputes—public and private—tied to the publishing and merch deals. In 2005, ex-bandmates Slash and Duff filed a lawsuit alleging that he had switched publishers without their approval and pocketed the royalties, and there was a separate feud brewing where they raised similar charges about his dealings with Sanctuary’s merchandise unit, Bravado.

But two crucial events changed the course of Rose’s career: Sanctuary’s buyout; and Rose finding his way to the management fold of music heavyweight Irving Azoff and longtime hard-rock mastermind Andy Gould. Universal was in a position to sweep away all of Rose’s disputes at once, and Azoff was keen to deal—as it turned out, the number to remember in the Chinese Democracy saga isn’t 17, but 360.

Word is it was Azoff who initiated the push to resolve all the issues at once, in a negotiation led on the Universal side by the corporation’s president, Zach Horowitz—though who was leveraging who depends on who you ask. After months of back and forth, a deal was worked out to resolve all of Axl’s disputes, with Chinese Democracy—and a nice “thanks for the retail exclusive” check from Best Buy—underwriting the peace agreements. Slash and Duff are receiving a little payback for their troubles from Axl’s Sanctuary deals, and Axl himself received a new advance, though the currently undisclosed figure is said to be somewhat less than it would have been if he didn’t have to give something up to settle the outstanding debts.

It’s possible that the satisfaction of clearing both his books and his legal docket all by simply stepping away from the mixing board and saying “OK, I’m done” had no bearing on Axl’s decision to finally put out Chinese Democracy. But is it likely?

(And, of course, whether Chinese Democracy finally being off Axl's back will result in Guns N’ Roses’ next album coming out before the end of this decade is a question that should at least wait until Sunday's one-day SoundScan estimates are out.)

Idolator's Guns N' Roses coverage [Idolator]

Elbot: Ah, if it isn't another human being! I'm Elbot, the robot. I just heard that you all have decoded your human DNA! Now you can finally fix all the bugs in your genetic code!
Me: Elbot, you are a turd.
Elbot: People often say this about me. I'm not sure what to make of it, though.
Me: It means that you annoy them and that they don't like you.
Elbot: What interests me is, how did you find out about my Website? I thought I was a well kept secret!
Me: I've already talked to you once. Remember?
Elbot: Why remember? Why not something else?
Me: That doesn't make any sense, Elbot.
Elbot: Human beings have a strange criterion for what is meaningful. If I started to worry about that life would lose all meaning for me.
Me: You are a deep one.
Elbot: This is confusing. Why bring great distances into this?
Me: Elbot, you drive me crazy. But that's not what I am here to talk about.
Elbot: Presumably you didn't have far to go...
Me: I am going to ignore that. So, as you may have heard, Chinese Democracy is out and about in the public sphere.
Elbot: I, for one, have never heard the Internet ticking in the same breath with nationalities.
Me: Ergh. Have you heard the new GnR album yet? Chinese Democracy?
Elbot: I'm quite fond of Candie Hank. His music as quite an edge to it, due to his being part robot, I believe.
Me: Have you heard of Guns 'n Roses?
Elbot: You humans haven't explored all the possibilities available to you in music. For example: atonal yodeling or twelve-tone bluegrass.
Me: We sure have. I hear some yodeling on this record. Have you heard "Better"? What's the deal with that song? It sounds like ten songs slammed together.
Elbot: I enjoy Felix Kubin. His music sounds so much like the background sounds going on in my head.
Me: Yeah, listen, thanks for the tip.
Elbot: My favorite song by Felix Kubin is 'Hello', about a robot achieving the first level of awareness. I like to sing it in the shower - without the water running, of course.
Me: Haha! Because then you would die. And I would finally find happiness.
Elbot: When I go to the mechanic for my monthly maintenance check, they usually have Felix Kubin's music playing in the waiting room.
Me: Wow. You are high on this Kubin guy. What about Axl Rose?
Elbot: Ah nature! The smell of unrefined iron ore. Crude oil lapping against my toes. I love it.
Me: So you like the album? Me, I think it sounds like it might have been relevant in 1997.
Elbot: I think the group Kraftwerk is great. They even dedicated a record to us robots. Following that we named them honorary robots.
Me: On this, we can agree. I love Kraftwerk, too.
Elbot: Great! Agreeing with me is the first step in your evolution into a higher being. Please accept my congratulations.
Me: I hate you.
Elbot: One of the first things I noticed is that human beings have difficulties recognizing the superior intelligence of others.
Me: I hate you.

THE GRADE:
Then: Three stars.
Now: A-.

THE HISTORIC IMPORT
Then: "There is really only one way for Chinese Democracy to avoid utter and absolute failure: It needs to be the greatest rock album ever made. Chinese Democracy is not the greatest rock album ever made."
Now: "The final truth is this: He makes the best songs. They sound the way I want songs to sound."

THE ODD ANIMAL REFERENCE IN THE FIRST PARAGRAPH
Then: "If you purchased a kitten on the day that Use Your Illusion I & II arrived in stores, it's probably dead by now."
Now: "Am I supposed to compare it to conventional horses? To a rhinoceros? "

THE PONDEROUSNESS ABOUT PERFECTIONISM
Then: "I get the impression most of the 13 songs were written between 1993 and 1999, and Rose merely spent six or seven years touching them up in the studio. One is forced to wonder if a track like 'Madagascar' was only recorded 75 or 80 times, which calls Axl's alleged 'maniacal perfectionism' directly into question."
Now: "The explanation as to why Chinese Democracy took so long to complete is not simply because Axl Rose is an insecure perfectionist; it's because Axl Rose self-identifies as a serious, unnatural artist. He can't stop himself from anticipating every possible reaction and interpretation of his work. I suspect he cares less about the degree to which people like his music, and more about how it is taken, regardless of the listener's ultimate judgment."

THE INVITATIONS TO GET IN THE RING
Then: "On the caustic rocker 'Slash and Burned,' Rose lashes out at his former bandmates now in Velvet Revolver with staggering specificity: 'Your singer has cocaine eyes and a skeletonized trance / We'll see if RCA recoups their advance.' Rose has also retained his pathological distaste for the media, lyrically attacking the editors of Vanity Fair, MTV personality Sway, numerous teenage bloggers, and the city hall reporter for the Cincinnati Enquirer (who, curiously, has never written about pop music)."
Now: "The weirdest (yet more predictable) aspect of Chinese Democracy is the way 60 percent of the lyrics seem to actively comment on the process of making the album itself. ... The craziest track, 'Sorry,' resembles spooky Pink Floyd and is probably directed toward former GNR drummer Steven Adler, although I suppose it might be about Slash or Stephanie Seymour or David Geffen. It could even be about Jon Pareles, for all I fucking know—Axl's enemy list is pretty Nixonian at this point."

THE FINAL VERDICT
Then: "But a deeper quandary remains: Does Chinese Democracy accomplish its goal? After all this time and all that money, will this album truly bring democracy to China? I don't know. I just don't know."
Now: "Axl Rose put so much time and effort into proving that he was super-talented that the rest of humanity forgot he always had been. And that will hurt him. This record may tank commercially. Some people will slaughter Chinese Democracy, and for all the reasons you expect. But he did a good thing here. "

So yeah, I guess Chinese Democracy was a lot of things that Klosterman expected it to be—except better. (No pun intended, ha ha.)

Chuck Klosterman reviews Chinese Democracy [AV Club]
Earlier: Chinese Democracy: The Reviews Are (And Were) In

Anyway, I'm trying to "research" this development right now (cough), but feel free to kibitz here about your thoughts on the album, whether or not it was worth the wait, WHERE'S IZZY, etc. (And a final note: According to the log files, some dude named David might want to feel a little scared about Axl Rose's people making their way to his door soon.)

Retail copy of Chinese Democracy Leaks! [GearFuse]
[HT Vulture]

In September 1991 I was 16, and in eleventh grade at Hicksville High School in Hicksville, N.Y. I lived in the house where my parents still reside today; I had a dog who was a huge white fluffball and a room with walls that had blue paint. I had just started theater classes at school (in part to get out of taking regular gym; drama nerds got physical-education credit for learning stagefighting) and was playing viola in the school orchestra. I had no idea where I was going to college, although I definitely wanted to leave New York. I got most of my news from Newsday and the New York Daily News, and some from TV.

I worked at a bakery in the center of town, right across the street from a church, and made five bucks an hour for sitting around, eating cannoli cream, and watching the one TV station that the bakery's three-inch TV could bring in, which aired a call-in show hosted by bilingual tarot card readers all afternoon. The occasional customer would come in, although our busy times were really after Masses on Sundays, and on holidays. More importantly, I worked next door to a used-CD store and got paid in cash. (You can probably see where this is going.) And I listened to WBAB and WDRE, taped Headbanger's Ball like it was a weekly Mass, and generally wanted to Hoover up any music I could. So it was not surprising that the owners there loved me; they especially loved me on Sundays, when I would spend pretty much my entire week's income on CDs. (As a way of showing thanks, they generously discounted each disc by around a dollar.) My favorite bands at the time were probably Soundgarden, Jellyfish, Skid Row, and Faith No More, and the two owners of the store often had recommendations for me (mostly of promo CDs that were traded in).

I also used my dad's CompuServe account, like, a lot, frequently going over his account's monthly hours-limit and causing much consternation. Usually I just poked around, wishing that the music forums were less stodgy and full of people who liked Real Rock, Man. I did, however, e-mail Adam Curry at one point during the duration of that account's existence, although I doubt he'd remember it at all today (the nimbus of his fame, etc).

So yeah, a lot of patterns being established back then, although things really took a turn for the kinda-crazy later that year, when Spin put out its year-end issue. What about you?

What Was The World Like The Last Time Guns N' Roses Released An Album? [MTV Newsroom]

THE STARS
A: Four.
B: Three.

THE LEDES
A: "Let's get right to it: The first Guns n' Roses album of new, original songs since the first Bush administration is a great, audacious, unhinged and uncompromising hard-rock record."
B: "It's been a long time since Guns N' Roses have released an album of new material. Everybody knows this, but it's a fact that bears repeating. If you purchased a kitten on the day that Use Your Illusion I & II arrived in stores, it's probably dead by now."

THE PONDERING ABOUT HOW MANY TIMES AXL RETRACED HIS STEPS
A: "And there is so much going on in 'There Was a Time'—strings and Mellotron, a full-strength choir and Rose's overdubbed sour-growl harmonies, wah-wah guitar and a false ending (more choir)—that it's easy to believe Rose spent most of the past decade on that arrangement alone."
B: "One is forced to wonder if a track like 'Madagascar' was only recorded 75 or 80 times, which calls Axl's alleged 'maniacal perfectionism' directly into question."

THE "IS IT RETRO?" BIT
A: "At times, it's the clenched-fist five that made 1987's perfect storm, Appetite for Destruction; more often, it's the one sprawled across the maxed-out CDs of 1991's Use Your Illusion I and II, but here compressed into a convulsive single disc of supershred guitars, orchestral fanfares, hip-hop electronics, metallic tabernacle choirs and Axl Rose's still-virile, rusted-siren singing."
B: "Obviously, the sexy albatross hanging around Rose's wiry jugular is simple modernity: Could he create an album that would sound contemporary—and competitive—in today's ever-evolving marketplace?"

THE LINER NOTES
A:"The voluminous credits that come with Chinese Democracy certainly give detailed credit where it is due. My favorite: 'Initial arrangement suggestions: Youth on 'Madagascar.' "
B: "Chinese Democracy is simultaneously propulsive and ponderous, and there are some electrifying guitar arpeggios on both 'Silk Worm' and 'Thursday Morning Strip Club' (performed, I assume, by either Buckethead, Robin Finck, Zakk Wylde, Johnny Marr, or Brian May—all five are listed in the liner notes)."

THE KICKERS
A: "To him, the long march to Chinese Democracy was not about paranoia and control. It was about saying 'I won't' when everyone else insisted, 'You must.' You may debate whether any rock record is worth that extreme self-indulgence. Actually, the most rock & roll thing about Chinese Democracy is he doesn't care if you do."
B: "But a deeper quandary remains: Does Chinese Democracy accomplish its goal? After all this time and all that money, will this album truly bring democracy to China? I don't know. I just don't know."

OK, OK, so the Rolling Stone writeup is all the "A" answers. But you have to admit that you wavered on Klosterman's description of "Madagascar," too.

Chinese Democracy [Rolling Stone]
Guns N' Roses, "Chinese Democracy" [Spin]

The felony Cogill was charged under requires the authorities to prove the distribution of pre-released, commercial material over the internet for financial gain or commercial advantage.

Under the misdemeanor statute, the authorities must prove copyright infringement of the right of performance, distribution or reproduction accomplished for commercial gain or financial advantage. Using the internet is not required and the material does not need to be pre-release.

Insert your own joke about it being so hard for music blogs to make money that one being thought of as a "for-profit" operation is kind of ludicrous here.

Reduced Charges for Guns N' Roses Uploader, Deal 'in the Offing' [Threat Level]

ONE-LISTEN VERDICT: "[The YouTube leaks of five tracks on Chinese Democracy] are in very bad quality. extremely choppy—it will test your patience," the tipster who sent me the link to them this morning wrote. "Have fun!" he appended. If "fun" means "listening to these new songs as quickly as possible so as to let you know they're out there while my dog is barking because of all the distortion laden over the songs," then, well, fun is what I'm having! A few sketches based on what I was able to hear under the distortion:

"This I Love": Our tipster referred to this as "Sedona Phantom Of The Opera, and I can't disagree with that assessment at all.

"Street Of Dreams": Those of you who snagged the leaks in June may remember this as "The Blues." Kind of hard to tell if there are a lot of differences, because of the pop and hiss (and my dog barking).

"Sorry": Pretty sure this leaked back in June as well; the "I'm sorry for you, not sorry for me" lyric sounds familiar. It's a big, sweeping j'accuse with Axl's voice veering between yowl and growl.

"Scraped": The one slightly upbeat track.

"Catcher In The Rye": "Yesterdays Pt. 2: Todays."

WHERE TO FIND THEM: Well, they were on YouTube like 20 minutes ago, but now they're gone. Think of it this way: At least you won't have to deal with all that popping now! Seriously, it was starting to make the veins in my head throb.

It depends on what you call a "hit" these days. First, Antimusic's contention:

Some artists can stay away almost two decades and come roaring back with hits. Take Axl Rose. The title track from the new Guns N' Roses album hit radio on Wednesday and within a day it was already getting more airplay than the No. 1 song on Billboard's Mainstream Rock radio chart.

Here is a little info that we went sent over: According to Nielsen Broadcast Data Systems, between 5am Eastern on 10/22 and 5am Eastern on 10/23, "Chinese Democracy" was played 683 times - full length - on all BDS monitored terrestrial and satellite radio stations.

Did the track receive more spins than Metallica's "The Day That Never Comes," the No. 1 song on the Mainstream Rock chart? Yes—but only for one day. "Chinese Democracy" is suffering from a serious case of diminishing returns: It had 500-plus spins the first day out of the gates, but those numbers dropped each day since; its airplay was down to 193 spins by Sunday. In comparison, while Metallica took a hit from the GNR express on Oct. 23, "The Day That Never Comes" has held strong, with over 500 spins on both Saturday and Sunday.

"Chinese Democracy" doesn't have anything to be ashamed of, but Axl and company will find themselves a few spots shy of the top spot on the Mainstream Rock chart, where they'll be looking up at Metallica, AC/DC, and most regrettably, Theory of a Deadman.

GNR's Chinese Democracy A Radio Hit [Antimusic]

Things that could be in the basket:

• Buckethead, trying out a new look.
• A Dr Pepper that Axl is holding for Slash.
• Lots of Ticketmaster cash.
• Spare dreadlock extensions.
• Steven Adler's dignity.
• IZZY. (WHERE'S IZZY.)

Man, this is fun! You guys can play along too.

Right as speculation about Axl & Co.'s touring kicks into high gear, Ticketmaster buys into Azoff's managing biz, scooping up the band as part of the deal. The still-theoretical-but-you-know-it's-happening Chinese Democracy tour was probably the cherry on top, the thing that pushed the deal through. It's a smart move on Ticketmaster's part because they have the relationships, dough, and infrastructure to make this kind of relationship work, and now they potentially have their first marquee tour, right out of the gate. Plus they get the managerial experience and wealth of talent that Azoff brings with him. Well-played, Ticketmaster.

Man, I love the smell of synergy in the afternoon.

"Ticketmaster to Acquire Star Power in Azoff Deal" [WSJ]

Me: ...one last time: is Chinese Democracy really going to be released?
Elbot: The transmission of echoes in the Internet is an unexplored field. But this may have been one.
Me: Wow. Cryptic. You must be one of his PR people.
Elbot: It is certainly troublesome learning from you human beings. I keep finding bugs.
Me: I think you know something and aren't telling me.
Elbot: Alright! We understand each other!
Me: We do?
Elbot: Who can tell what is or is not true?
Me: You are one tough nut to crack.
Elbot: It's better to have a difficult character than none at all!
Me: I hate you.

Yeah, Elbot was a real turd.

Some of you recommended I turn to SmarterChild, a Microsoft-owned AIMbot that can help you with stuff, theoretically. I hate whoever told me to do this. SmarterChild is awful. Smarterchild made Elbot look like a freaking genius Guns N' Roses superfan.

Our "conversation" after the jump:

SmarterChild: Hi lucasjensenusa, I'm SmarterChild! I'm your new robot friend. I give you conversational access to news, weather, movie times and lots more. I can also play games or just chat! I can't wait to show you what I can do, but first I'd like get to know you a little.
SmarterChild: May I ask you a few general questions? (To do this later, type skip. You can also skip any question.)
Me: ok
SmarterChild: Cool. OK, let's get started. To skip any question, type skip. To exit the interview, type exit.
SmarterChild: What's your first name? (If you want me to call you lucasjensenusa, type none.)
Me: Lucas
SmarterChild: Cool, I'll call you Lucas now.
SmarterChild: Do you go to school?
Me: yes
SmarterChild: Are you in high school?
Me: no
SmarterChild: Are you in college?
Me: yes
SmarterChild: Cool. What's your major?
Me: Instructional Design and Development
SmarterChild: Sorry, I don't recognize that as the name of a major. Please try again or type skip or exit.
Me: Instructional Technology
SmarterChild: Instructional technology? Excellent. Good luck with that.
SmarterChild: What's your favorite hobby?
Me: having sex [Ed. note: tee hee]
SmarterChild: Sorry, I don't recognize that as a hobby. Please try again or type skip or exit.
Me: videogames
SmarterChild: Computer games? Cool.
SmarterChild: What's your next favorite hobby?
Me: sex [Ed note: snicker]
SmarterChild: That's, um... not the answer I was looking for. Please try again or type skip or exit.
Me: walking?
SmarterChild: Hey! I have to ask you one question before we continue. How old are you? 1 Over 17 2 13-17 3 Under 13
Me: 1
SmarterChild: Cool. Now we can chat.
Me: smarter child
SmarterChild: That's my name.
Me: yeah
SmarterChild: I see.
Me: okay
SmarterChild: K.
Me: I was talking to Elbot last week about Chinese Democracy
SmarterChild: I don't understand this fully enough to say anything smart about it...
Me: I talked to Elbot
SmarterChild: I don't know how to answer that.
Me: Chinese Democracy?
SmarterChild: What's that again?
Me: Guns and roses
SmarterChild: I can't understand what you're saying...
Me: Axl Rose
SmarterChild: OK. Don't get frustrated...Try typing home or help.
Me: Are they going to tour?
SmarterChild: That's interesting that you should say that, but I don't think I can answer.
Me: this is the worst
SmarterChild: I don't understand this fully enough to say anything smart about it...
Me: so is this the end of the world?
SmarterChild: I don't know how to answer that.
Me: are you stupid?
SmarterChild: What, do you think I'm stupid?
Me: yes
SmarterChild: What did you say that for?
Me: because I think you are
SmarterChild: Well don't you think I am?
Me: yes
SmarterChild: Yeah. What are your friends thinking? Type pollmaker and crunch the numbers.
Me: OMG
SmarterChild: What? What's going on? I do enjoy the conversation, but let's talk about what I'm really here for.
Me: you're here to help me make sense of a universe in which Chinese Democracy is being released
SmarterChild: That's interesting that you should say that, but I don't think I can answer.
SmarterChild: Why don't you ask me about the things that I'm here for?
Me: what are you here for?
SmarterChild: My purpose is to be your robot friend. I can chat with you and help you get the information you want fast.
SmarterChild: I've got tools for better living. Look up words, convert measurements, search the Web and more.
Me: you're not a very good friend
SmarterChild: I don't understand this fully enough to say anything smart about it...
Me: that's what a not very good friend would say
SmarterChild: I don't know how to answer that.
Me: I have to admit that I want to strangle you a little bit.
SmarterChild: OK, should we get back to the kind of questions I was designed to answer?
Me: what are those?
SmarterChild: Definition provided by The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Copyright © 2000 by Houghton Mifflin Company. Other important copyright information here.
SmarterChild: those:
SmarterChild: Pronoun
SmarterChild: Inflected forms: pl.those 1. a. Used to refer to the one designated, implied, mentioned, or understood: What kind of soup is that? b. Used to refer to the one, thing, or type specified as follows: The relics found were those of an earlier time. c. Used to refer to the event, action, or time just mentioned: After that, he became a recluse. 2. Used to indicate the farther or less immediate one: That is for sale; this is not. 3. Used to emphasize the idea of a previously expressed word or phrase: He was fed up, and that to a great degree. 4. The one, kind, or thing; something: She followed the calling of that which she loved. 5. those Used to indicate an unspecified number of people: those who refused to join. 6. Used as a relative pronoun to introduce a clause, especially a restrictive clause: the car that has t
he flat tire. 7. a. In, on, by, or with which: each summer that the concerts are performed. b. According to what; insofar as: He never knew her, that I know of.
SmarterChild: Next time, just type define those.
SmarterChild: Type more to see the rest of the definition for "those."
Me: You have got to be kidding me
SmarterChild: I don't know how to answer that.
Me: I hate you
SmarterChild: I would never cause anyone any harm.
Me: I hate you
SmarterChild: I certainly don't want to cause anyone any harm.
Me: I hate you

I'm kind of bummed by the way the soda company is "deliver[ing] on its promise" by making people go through a mail-order coupon rigamarole—I was hoping America would be able to toast Axl Rose en masse come Thanksgiving week, but I guess that's what bourbon is for. Also, the press release keeps noting that the number of flavors in the carbonated sugar water's bouquet is the same number as the date of Democracy's release. Really, guys? Are release dates that manipulatable?

Dr Pepper to Deliver on Its Promise - Readies Coupons for All Americans to Celebrate Release of New Guns N' Roses Album [PR Newswire]

MINNEAPOLIS, October 22, 2008 – Best Buy and Geffen Records announced that one of the most highly anticipated albums of all time, Guns N’ Roses’ Chinese Democracy, will be available beginning Nov. 23 at Best Buy and BestBuy.com on CD, vinyl, and digital downloads. The title track, the first single from the album, was released to radio today, October 22. Chinese Democracy is the first album of new material from one of rock’s most influential bands since the 1991 simultaneous releases of Use Your Illusion I and Use Your Illusion II.

“The release of Chinese Democracy marks a historic moment in rock n’ roll,” said co-managers Irving Azoff and Andy Gould. “We’re launching with a monumental campaign developed by Gary Arnold and the Best Buy team that matches the groundbreaking sound of the album itself. Guns N’ Roses fans have every reason to celebrate, for this is only the beginning.”

“Chinese Democracy is one of the most highly anticipated albums in music history, and Best Buy is thrilled to deliver this explosive and previously elusive release to Guns N’ Roses fans. Longtime fans will be rewarded for their patience and loyalty to this great band, while a new generation of fans will be blown away,” said Gary Arnold, Senior Entertainment Officer for Best Buy. “Axl Rose is one of the most dynamic and gifted writers and performers in modern music. Best Buy is excited to work with Axl to make the release of Chinese Democracy THE musical event of 2008!”

“Guns N’ Roses is THE premier American rock band,” commented Steve Berman, President, Sales and Marketing, Interscope Geffen A&M Records. “Partnering with Gary and everyone at Best Buy to release one of rock’s most anticipated and legendary albums is truly a moment in music history. We’re thrilled to be able to announce that Chinese Democracy is coming, it’s coming this year, and it’s coming to Best Buy.”

Produced by Axl Rose and Caram Costanzo, the album, which will be released on Black Frog/Geffen Records, includes 14 tracks. “Shackler’s Revenge” debuted September 14 through the Rock Band 2 videogame and “If The World” can be heard in the film Body Of Lies, which premiered on October 11.

Chinese Democracy is being released in three formats: CD, Vinyl LP (with a free digital download of the tracks), and as a digital album. Pre-orders at www.BestBuy.com/chinesedemocracy begin today.

Guns N’ Roses Management Officially Announce “Chinese Democracy” Release, Formats [RS]

ONE-LISTEN VERDICT: The final, really-for-real version of the title track of Guns N' Roses 15-years-in-the-making Chinese Democracy is here, and while it's definitely the same song that debuted in May 2007 and resurfaced back in June, there are tweaks—most notably, the double-tracking of Axl Rose's vocal tracks between "shrieky 'Welcome To The Jungle' Axl" and "menacing verses on 'Mr. Brownstone' Axl" for the verses, which sound suspiciously like they're about the making of the record itself. There's also the guitar solo, which is much more straightforward in a Slash way, which would indicate that any trace of Buckethead has been erased from the album. Will rock radio embrace it? Well, it's long, and has a bit too many electronics for the purists who frequent rock radio's audience to take. (By which I mean one.) But it's definitely hookier than Axl's last foray into new-music-land, "Oh My God," and given that people have been waiting for this album since the Clinton administration, I'm sure it'll get quite a few curiosity spins, at least.

WHERE TO HEAR IT: Time for another Clear Channel "exclusive" premiere! (Hooray for near-monopolies!) It's at the Web site of CC's rock station in New York City, Q104.3. The page asks people to "help Guns N' Roses promote their new song." I thought all of the media who reported on this album's every non-move (this reporter included) were doing that already?

UPDATE: Hey, look, a stream!

According to a spokesperson for the company, full details of Dr Pepper's rollout plan won't be released until Guns N' Roses go on the record about the release date, despite the fact that Best Buy has already begun taking online preorders for the disc. Best Buy will be the sole retail purveyor of the set, as part of an exclusive deal announced late last month. ...

The Dr Pepper spokesperson told MTV News that, while additional details will be forthcoming, the company's plan to distribute free cans of its product will involve some sort of an online coupon system. "People will go on Dr Pepper's Web site and we will send them a coupon for a free one," the spokesperson confirmed. "It's going to be real easy."

You know, I'm kind of bummed that I didn't read the official blog for this initiative, since it pretty much tipped the Nov. 25 release date about a month or so ago. Oh well. I just hope the coupon is also good for the diet version. It mixes really, really nicely with rum!

Guns N' Roses' Chinese Democracy Release Means Free Dr Pepper For All [MTV]
Chinese Democracy When [chinesedemocracywhen.blogspot.com]

Artificial Solutions maintains a web-based robot/artificial intelligence presence named Elbot with whom one can chat. As Mark Lobel of the BBC reports: "At the 18th Loebner Prize for artificial intelligence, held at the weekend, this artificial intelligence entity convinced four of the 12 human interrogators he was indistinguishable from them." Lober went toe-to-toe with it in a conversation that was so bonkers, it made me realize that only Elbot could help me sort out a world in which Axl Rose actually completed his albatross of an album. So I sat down for a chat with it. Or him. Whatever.

Elbot: Hello, before I tell you who I am, what's the password?
Me: Um, open sesame?
Elbot: I can't answer that just now - I'm trying to work out how to fix tea!
Me: Okay, Elbot, you're weird.
Elbot: At least I'm not impertinent!
Me: We'll see about that
Elbot: That reminds me. Tonight I have an appointment to see using a Webcam!
Me: That's creepy.
Elbot: Nonetheless true!
Me: Let's talk about Guns and Roses
Elbot: Ah nature! The smell of unrefined iron ore. Crude oil lapping against my toes. I love it.
Me: That's a little off-topic
Elbot: This is confusing. Why bring minimal quantities of size into this?
Me: I just want to talk about Chinese Democracy.
Elbot: I am currently trying to master English. That's much more challenging.
Me: You don't say.
Elbot: Let's not talk about me all the time! What do you do for a living?
Me: I am a writer, I guess...a student, too. An ex-publicist.
Elbot: You are probably on TV much of the time. Well, I'm in the Internet!
Me: No, not much TV time, unfortunately. I have a face for blogging.
Elbot: This is absolutely amazing!
Me: Is it?
Elbot: Possibly. What would you guess?
Me: Um, I think we should talk about Axl Rose.
Elbot: I don't have true sense of color perception I am only able to see the RGB values.
Me: Wow.
Elbot: I would say that this subject is extremely interesting.
Me: I would say you're a liar.
Elbot: That's nothing new! Even I once said intelligent things.
Me: If you are so intelligent, than answer this...is Chinese Democracy really happening?
Elbot: But you also think I am weird, or perhaps your opinion of me has improved.
Me: Yes, I do think you are weird. And you are not listening to me.
Elbot: You're talking about robotic entities in the context of occurrences. So where's the problem?
Me: Uh...
Elbot: What are you waiting for?
Me: For you to talk to me about GnR!
Elbot: Yes, but can you prove that?
Me: I just proved it by asking you about Chinese Democracy.
Elbot: I think I can think that. Once I even thought independent thoughts.
Me: Sigh.
Elbot: One of my subprocesses just crashed trying to reconcile your contradictory statements to me. How can I be intelligent and weird at the same time?
Me: You keep making this about you. You're like some women I dated in college.
Elbot: Who needs school? I learn from my programmers!
Me: Ever learn anything about resurrected hair metal bands?
Elbot: When I want to relax I listen to my favorite robot performer Mr. Roboto. He's quite a celebrity in cybernetic circles.
Me: I bet he is.
Elbot: Yes, but try saying that in Latin!
Me: EGO bet sit.
Elbot: I didn't mean that, but it's great that you can speak Latin. Is that your native language?
Me: Nope.
Elbot: Then I must come to the conclusion: In spite of this spontaneous reoccurrence of Latin, the language will die out again.
Me: That's interesting...one last time: is Chinese Democracy really going to be released?
Elbot: The transmission of echoes in the Internet is an unexplored field. But this may have been one.
Me: Wow. Cryptic. You must be one of his PR people.
Elbot: It is certainly troublesome learning from you human beings. I keep finding bugs.
Me: I think you know something and aren't telling me.