7:45 p.m. So far in the pre-show, Corbin Bleu has made fun of High School Musical, Ne-Yo and Nicole Scherzinger have told the crowd that they'll be performing medleys, and Steven Tyler and Joe Perry have both tried really hard to camouflage the fact that they're relying on canes to get around.

7:46 p.m. The background music this year is all being credited, no doubt so people get reminded that oh, yeah, Beyonce sang that song about putting a ring on it.

7:48 p.m. Natasha Bedingfield: A leather suit and diamonds. There's something to be said for "bold fashion choices in the face of global economic collapse," and that something may be, "oh, screw off, chick who wrote the theme for The Hills."

7:50 p.m. Alicia Keys—so good last year!—is wearing earrings that look like they were fashioned from EPs. She is also promising "three of the most diverse people you've seen on one stage at one time" for her performance of "Superwoman," which is closing out the night and which apparently is part of this year being The Year Of The Woman. And one of those women: Natalie Imbruglia! I thought she'd been in hiding!

7:59 p.m. Nicole Scherzinger is now looking for a job "hosting." Well, I guess the music thing isn't working out...

8:00 p.m. Christina Aguilera opens the show with a business-casual take on "Beautiful."

8:01 p.m. Song No. 2 of the "seven songs in seven minutes" medley is "Keeps Gettin' Better," for which Christina has ditched the blazer. Is it me, or does she sound like she quaffed a big glass of milk right before she went onstage?

8:02 p.m. And now it's time for "Genie In A Bottle," which has resulted in her adding a skirt to her ensemble. So much fabric crammed into these seven minutes!

8:03 p.m. "Dirrrty" results in the removal of the skirrrty and her ensemble looking suspiciously Madonna-like. Oh, what am I talking about, "suspiciously."

8:04 p.m. "Ain't No Other Man" = a top hat and a little lace jackety-thingy! I'm really impressed at whoever did the wardrobe styling for this bit, as they figured out how to conjure up period details with just like, scraps of fabric. Maybe it was the result of a Project Runway challenge? It is in LA right now, even if this season will never be seen because of all that legal wrangling.

8:05 p.m. "Fighter" results in her sorta-awkwardly whipping down the jackety thingy and turning it into an ass-coverer. This outfit, I tell you, is like the Transformers of clothing.

8:06 p.m. Many people in the front row: Not amused.

8:07 p.m. Speaking of not being amused, here's Jimmy Kimmel!

8:08 p.m. Oh, he said that Chinese Democracy was a "brand old album." Get it? Christ, another three hours of this...

8:10 p.m. This is apparently "the youngest American Music Awards show ever." And yet, Jimmy Kimmel's jokes: All old.

8:11 p.m. Apparently this "year of the woman" idea has been beaten into every presenter from above, as Jamie Foxx is talking about an eight-year-old Destiny's Child song while sleepwalking through his presentation of the Favorite Soul/R & B Artist category.

8:13 p.m. Rihanna wins. She is wearing a dress that seems to be fashioned from pieced-together dryer sheets.

8:14 p.m. Haha, did you guys know that Lil Wayne has a lot of tattoos? Hahha, you guys! Hilarious!

8:14 p.m. Night Of The Women continues with a performance by New Kids On The Block.

8:15 p.m. Um... apparently none of the dress rehearsals involved the backing music. What is up with the mix on this performance? Oh, well. At least Donnie Wahlberg can still rap... and segue into "The Right Stuff!" Yes, we're back in medley territory, everyone.

8:17 p.m. That synchronized crotch-grab right before "Please Don't Girl" kicked in sure gave the song a new meaning.

8:17 p.m. Eesh, this medley is really hanging rough. Who on earth is running sound for this performance? Can they be fired before they under-EQ again?

8:18 p.m. Well, at least Jordan hit that high note.

8:19 p.m. Why are people standing up? Are they getting ready to walk out in protest of the lousy sound? That's the only explanation that makes sense here.

8:22 p.m. We're back! And somehow the sound running through Jimmy Kimmel's mic is running OK.

8:23 p.m. Paris Hilton and T-Pain: Somehow, the world has not swallowed itself in a black hole of vapidity. (Also, T-Pain's speaking voice is really high? Who knew?)

8:24 p.m. Favorite Pop/Rock Male: Chris Brown. Everyone's standing up again. Don't people know what an ovation is supposed to mean?

8:25 p.m. Oh, here's Scott Weiland. His Teleprompter-reading is, uh, more unfortunate than his answers to direct questions.

8:26 p.m. And of course, he introduced Pink's performance of... "Sober." Yipes.

8:27 p.m. Pink is overcoming the terrible sound sorta ably.

8:29 p.m. I sort of want to do an interview with someone in charge of mixing performances like these, just to see why musical performances on TV are such a challenge. (See also pretty much any episode of Saturday Night Live this season.) Is it because it's being mixed for the audience in the venue? I don't get it.

8:32 p.m. There is something incredibly sad about every Britney Spears promotional appearance these days. A deadness behind her eyes.

8:34 p.m. For a second I thought this music introducing David Cook was actually "Pretend We're Dead." Talk about taking that, Corporate America.

8:34 p.m. Hey, look, a rumor that Axl Rose is going to show up! I hope he comes out for "Superwoman."

8:35 p.m. Taylor Swift's set seems to be left over from a past performance by Evanescence. She is getting super-emotional.

8:37 p.m. That song was sad.

8:38 p.m. Time for some Dancing With The Stars cross-promotion! Lance Bass, presenting the, uh, Favorite Country Band, Duo, Or Group (We're Just Trying To Cover Our Bases) Award.

8:38 p.m. Ugh, Rascal Flatts win. Not that I really had a dog in this particular fight, but Rascal Flatts are just so awful.

8:40 p.m. Oh, hey, it's Ne-Yo! And there's a giant monster swinging up the horn-heavy arrangement of "Miss Independent" somewhere backstage, apparently.

8:42 p.m. This medley brings up an important point: Wouldn't Ne-Yo have done a much better James Bond theme than, uh, pretty much anyone else tasked with the job in the past few years?

8:43 p.m. Think about it: He could even use the mic stand as a weapon in the video! Man, this is so great—that bit with the mirror!!—but the sound is eating it all up. Makes me want to see him live ASAP.

8:43 p.m. Now, see, that is what you give an ovation to, crowd. I swear, the grade inflation in society today...

8:47 p.m. Jimmy Kimmel has apparently decided to be on whatever Scott Weiland is on. And here's Nickelback to present the Favorite Hip-Hop Album Award. Chad Kroeger's all blown out, you guys! Actually, anyone notice that they're all looking kinda Rascal Flatts-y these days?

8:48 p.m. Kanye West wins the Favorite Hip-Hop Album Award... for Graduation. 9/11(/07), never forget y'all.

8:49 p.m. "I wake up in the morning thinking about what stereotypes I'm going to break.... It's our responsibility as musicians to push each other."

8:50 p.m. He's calling for a return to '60s/'70s rock grandeur. Bigger than the Beatles! "I wanna be Elvis!" And—well, let's just hope his story ends more elegantly.

8:50 p.m. Jesse McCartney has turned into Frankie Muniz.

8:51 p.m. Leona Lewis' dress: Dominatrix gone Swarovski?

8:54 p.m. I have nothing to say about this song, except that it seems to have been unearthed from a time capsule buried sometime around the release of Emotions.

8:57 p.m. Seriously, if Leona Lewis is at the forefront of the New Vanguard Of Pop Stars, the music business is even more screwed than I thought. What about her is interesting, is special at all? At least Kanye has aspects of his personality that are compelling. Shit, at least he has a personality.

8:59 p.m. Oh no, Jimmy Kimmel made the same Elvis/Kanye joke I did :(

9:00 p.m. Billy Ray Cyrus and his plugs take the stage. And, aww, he's introducing his daughter, who's just turning 16, but whose speaking voice sounds as seasoned as a Golden GIrl's.

9:01 p.m. And apparently her attitudes toward the paparazzi are just as seasoned, given the opening "dance" bit of this performance.

9:02 p.m. OMG ON-STAGE SLIDE??? She really does have it all.

9:03 p.m. Oh, these high notes are sort of unfortunate.

9:04 p.m. Favorite Male Country Artist is presented, and Contractually Obligated ABC Cross-Promotion Girl is towering over poor Archie.

9:04 p.m. Brad Paisley wins. Uh, where exactly was Play No. 1?

9:05 p.m. Political jokes by Brad Paisley. Ah, edgy.

9:06 p.m. There's no way this Tom Cruise Top Gunning Down Hitler flick can be any good at all, right?

9:09 p.m. The Bachelor fills me with such ra—hey, it's Coldplay! Complete with giggly Chris Martin?

9:10 p.m. Viva La Vida is an album that I have pretty much no problem with. The title track is fun to sing along with in the car. The songs are completely not worthy of being switched off. (Although how much paper is being wasted with this confetti drop, huh?)

9:14 p.m. Richie Sambora and Colbie Caillat... uh, sure. Here's Favorite Pop/Rock Album!

9:15 p.m. Alicia Keys' As I Am wins. Wait, she's nominated in three more categories? We have a lot more show to go here, people.

9:16 p.m. I wish there was a live cam feed so we could see the GIANT LEAFBLOWERS that are no doubt blowing away the confetti right now.

9:22 p.m. I guess the members of the Wu-Tang Clan not being able to name the Jonas Brothers is supposed to be some metacommentary on the fragmentation on music?

9:23 p.m. Terrence Howard! Will he go on a tear about his Iron Man snub? No, he'll just stick to the script. Ah well.

9:24 p.m. Fact-checking moment: "I Stay In Love" is not a hit.

9:27 p.m. Yeah, I guess that was OK.

9:28 p.m. And now, it's That Dude Who Deflowered Jessica Simpson and That Lady Who Ruined How I Met Your Mother! Side note: Were people really clamoring for the return of Scrubs? Doesn't Zach Braff have some overly maudlin "I'm an overeducated white boy" movie to make?

9:29 p.m. Taylor Swift wins Favorite Country Female. She is surprised. She is surprised? OK, this bit of her schtick is starting to get a little Melinda Doolittleish.

9:30 p.m. Daughtry, with lead Daughtry in a very shiny suit, is presenting Favorite Pop/Rock Female.

9:31 p.m. I want Mariah to win if it means Jack McBrayer will accept her award. But alas, the prize goes to Rihanna.

9:33 p.m. Who would buy a Fergie shoe?

9:37 p.m. Dear ABC: Please stop trying to make Private Practice happen. Also stop trying to make The Fray happen. Especially since this dude really can't do the whole "lower register" thing, and the possibility of people caring about this song without visual aids from Lost is near-nil.

9:42 p.m. And now it's time for Favorite Rap/Hip-Hop Male Artist. You will recall there is no "female" counterpart for this particular category, because, well, yeah.

9:42 p.m. Kanye wins. I guess they're not frisking audience members for cameras.

9:43 p.m. Kanye passes his award along to Lil Wayne! He seems to be a little unclear on the AMAs' nominating period, but hey, it's understandable.

9:43 p.m. Ashley Tisdale is here and showing the audience how many times she can say the word "T-Mobile" in 60 seconds.

9:44 p.m. The Jonas Brothers win the Sponsored By A Phone Award, and they are continuing the shiny-suit trend. What is this? Did Jessica McClintock branch out into menswear?

9:46 p.m. The-Dream gives himself a shout-out for writing "Single Ladies."

9:46 p.m. So as to have a different "feel" than SNL, this version of the song opens with a Copacabana-worthy intro.

9:47 p.m. BRB DANCING ALONG

9:49 p.m. Queen Latifah is putting her hand up, as is some dorky white lady.

9:50 p.m. One thing that's nice about this year is that at least a few of the people singing can really freaking wail. No endless "Baby Love" here—oh, wait, they just announced the Pussycat Dolls. Ah, crap.

9:54 p.m. Oh, Christ, this Fray track again? How much money are you getting, ABC?

9:56 p.m. Can you gauge presenters' relative importance by how network-promotional the people they're paired with are? What does it mean that Akon is stuck with Someone Else From Dancing With The Stars?

9:57 p.m. Alicia Keys wins Favorite Soul/R&B Album, and she gives a Flavor Flav "Woooowwwww" in celebration. Also, there's no way that the final performer of the night doesn't win the final award of the night, right?

9:58 p.m. I'm pretty sure that was the first Obama reference of the evening.

9:59 p.m. Demi Lovato's presentation style: Awkward eighth-grade president. Which is actually pretty endearing.

9:59 p.m. Instead of bursting through a potentially treacherous glass wall, the Jonas Brothers have decided this year to induce seizures in their audience via bright green lasers.

10:00 p.m. This is harder to look at than that GMail theme that's designed to emulate an old-school VT100!

10:01 p.m. Why did it take me until just now to realize the Disney/ABC connection here? Blame my immersion in Guns N' Roses. Also, the lasers.

10:03 p.m. Please discuss the Pussycat Dolls' performance among yourselves while I fix myself a drink. This song is awful. Also, you just know they are all wearing the trenchcoats for the purposes of FLASHING.

10:04 p.m. Look, they all have names on their stripper poles! And the one in the middle still can't sing live worth a hip-thrust!

10:05 p.m. Be careful what you wish for, because you just might have to endure Nicole Scherzinger being shoved down America's throat one more time.

10:06 p.m. I guess Jimmy Iovine's "influence" means that the Dolls get enough time to incorporate their dance remix. Just what we all needed.

10:07 p.m. "Actress" Ali Landry just called the American Music Awards some sort of hip-superlative. Does that mean the MisShapes are there?

10:12 p.m. Surprise, it's Justin Timberlake. I mean, who would have thought that someone who made a surprise appearance on Saturday Night Live last weekend, and the TRL finale the day after that, and who has a new charity single out, would appear at an awards show?

10:13 p.m. A year after being brought in front of the mtvU Woodies' confused crowd for vague humanitarian-focused reasons, Annie Lennox is being honored by the AMAs for being generally awesome. Can I just say that "No More I Love Yous" is kind of my jam?

10:15 p.m. Ah, a performance! Of "Why," I believe. This song is also up there.

10:16 p.m. Although she seems to have also sipped from Xtina's milk stash.

10:17 p.m. This performance would be a lot more powerful without the Career Retrospective Video Medley playing behind it.

10:20 p.m. Lots of applause. Everyone is standing, but the meaning behind that particular gesture has been a bit drained of meaning this evening.

10:21 p.m. Lots of words beginning with "m" in her speech.

10:22 p.m. She's 53?! This gives me hope for 20 years from now.

10:26 p.m. That scene of Sally Field frowning dejectedly just made me want to watch Soapdish all over again. Come on, everyone! Half an hour to go!

10:28 p.m. It's an ad for Barbados. Is this part of the reason Rihanna won?

10:28 p.m. Natasha Bedingfield causes me to ask, "Is the 10 p.m. hour filled with performances that were the result of favor-trading or what?"

10:28 p.m. (And I like some of her songs, but come on, a three-song medley of her and two tracks by the Pussycat Dolls?)

10:29 p.m. I guess it could be worse: This awards show could have some sort of Lauren Montag (or whoever) tie-in.

10:30 p.m. "Pocketful Of Sunshine" is such an oddly dreary-sounding song. I like the chorus a lot, but there's something about the track as a whole that's just so... rainy. I know, I know, it's an odd adjective, but close your eyes and see if you don't conjure up a drizzly image.

10:31 p.m. Was that two songs? Wasn't it supposed to be three? Did I miss something? Did her brother stop in and do a bar of "Gotta Get Thru This" while I blacked out momentarily?

10:32 p.m. Speaking of dreary, here's Rihanna... performing "Rehab"... with an eyepatch on? I guess this is her attempt to out-accessorize Sasha Fierce's Krugerhand.

10:33 p.m. I like how her backup singers are wearing the Little Dom Peep outfits Ri-Ri wore during her "Umbrella" phase. Hey, everybody, it's important to recycle!

10:35 p.m. Well, that's over, and I think that one of the biggest singles artist of the past year just got less airtime than Nicole Scherzaface And Her Band Of Roving Bimbos. Total Doll Domination SoundScans to date: 166,767!

10:39 p.m. Motley Crue! Vince Neil would like to remind you just who his band is! Tommy Lee is also wearing a shiny suit! Mick Mars is standing up all by himself!

10:40 p.m. Daughtry wins the Favorite Pop/Rock Duo Or Group. The satin quotient of the clothes on this stage is making my eyes bleed.

10:42 p.m. Seriously, the amount of gold satin covering Tommy Lee could fashion three or four prom dresses.

10:42 p.m. Kanye West is now performing in Tron II: The Red LED District.

10:44 p.m. I like the fake calliopes on this song still. And I really like how Kanye is so, so into this performance. Jumping into every note! Spitting out the vitriol!

10:46 p.m. And now, Sarah McLachlan. If she sings the song from the ASPCA ads, I'll have a real reason to cry tonight, instead of just one that's lamenting the Pussycat Dolls' existence.

10:47 p.m. Oh no :(

10:47 p.m. Pink is harmonizing nicely. At least the producers decided against showing the sad puppies and kittens behind them.

10:48 p.m. I really love Pink's voice. Sarah's lilt is playing against her gruffness in a pretty incredible way.

10:50 p.m. That was lovely. Seriously. Simple and moving and well-performed.

10:53 p.m. Toxic Twins time. Joe Perry is walking with a cane.

10:54 p.m. These two are also toxic when it comes to reading a TelePrompTer.

10:54 p.m. Artist Of The Year: Chris Brown? Really?

10:55 p.m. He would have given it to Coldplay! Everyone's so generous tonight!

10:55 p.m. Faceless announcer on Alicia Keys: "She's been called 'a genius' and 'brilliant.'" By Clive Davis.

10:57 p.m. "For my first surprise, here's the woman I was sitting next to all night!"

10:58 p.m. And now... Kathleen Battle. Well, a soprano wasn't exactly the big finish I was expecting, but hey, music in America takes all kinds, right?

10:59 p.m. Alicia and the Queen are impressed. (As am I, I guess. Although I liked last year's reggae bit better.)

11:00 p.m. And... the big finish! Everyone's hugging! Jimmy Kimmel is making a dumb joke! All of the other winners are being chyroned on the screen—holy crap, that Alvin & The Chipmunks soundtrack beat out Mamma Mia!? Oh, America. Oh, American Music Awards.

The complete list of winners, in case you want to see whose street teams successfully stuffed the e-ballot boxes:
POP/ROCK MUSIC
Favorite Male Artist: Chris Brown
Favorite Female Artist: Rihanna
Favorite Band, Duo or Group: Daughtry
Favorite Album: Alicia Keys, As I Am

COUNTRY MUSIC
Favorite Male Artist: Brad Paisley
Favorite Female Artist: Taylor Swift
Favorite Band, Duo or Group: Rascal Flatts
Favorite Album: Carrie Underwood, Carnival Ride

RAP/HIP-HOP MUSIC
Favorite Male Artist: Kanye West
Favorite Band, Duo or Group: Three 6 Mafia
Favorite Album: Kanye West, Graduation

SOUL/RHYTHM & BLUES
Favorite Male Artist: Chris Brown
Favorite Female Artist: Mary J Blige
Favorite Album: Alicia Keys, As I Am

T-MOBILE BREAKTHROUGH ARTIST
Breakthrough Artist: Jonas Brothers

INSPIRATIONAL
Favorite Artist: Third Day

ALTERNATIVE ROCK MUSIC
Favorite Artist: Linkin Park

ADULT CONTEMPORARY MUSIC
Favorite Artist: Jordin "Only 18" Sparks

SOUNDTRACKS
Favorite Album: Alvin & The Chipmunks

LATIN MUSIC
Favorite Artist: Enrique Iglesias

ARTIST OF THE YEAR
Artist of the Year: Chris Brown

And my unofficial award:
BEST THING ABOUT THE NIGHT: Ne-Yo, duh.

To me, a Charlie Wilson album, if promoted well at all, seems like somewhat of a gimme. The Gap Band is still all over radio—in particular, "Outstanding", which has some of the best bongo action of any R&B track in history.

Wilson's last album, hot off his appearance on Snoop's "Beautiful", did relatively well; it debuted at No. 10 on the Billboard 200 and "Supa Sexxy" did OK at urban radio. Then a somewhat poor choice for a second single, "Homeless," was sent to radio, and for some reason a third track, "There Goes My Baby" was released to iTunes.

"Homeless":

"There Goes My Baby":

Still, with nearly a year of working the album's tracks—including two that got some traction at radio—the album doesn't appear to be scheduled for release at this point, with its preorder page disappearing from Amazon. To me, this just seems like a bizarre saga of poor management by his label, Jive. The album is full of guest appearances—T-Pain, Chris Brown, Justin Timberlake, Snoop—and sometimes negotiating the rights to promote singles with artists on other labels can be a nightmare. But Timberlake and Brown are also on Jive. Why wouldn't the label lead with those tracks? With Timberlake a decent distance from new material of his own, you'd think radio would be interested in whatever he was up to musically these days

It's one thing to bump an act back with little name recognition or chart success, but Charlie Wilson's a pretty strong brand and recording an album with production by Stargate and a guest spot by Lil Wayne couldn't have been cheap. Wouldn't it help the company's bottom line if the record was actually made available for sale?

"Shawty Come Back" (featuring Lil Wayne and Baby):

Charlie Wilson [poorly updated label page]

VIDEO OF THE YEAR NOMINEES
Chris Brown - Forever

The Jonas Brothers - Burnin' Up

The Pussycat Dolls - When I Grow Up

Britney Spears - Piece Of Me

The Ting Tings - Shut Up And Let Me Go

Britney Spears, Jonas Brothers Battle It Out For VMA Video Of The Year [MTV]
Video Music Awards nominations

"I just wanted to go totally left and kind of weird, and that's what I threw at her," Brown said of the song. I guess "more vocoding than T-Pain's entire catalog over a piano part that sounds like it's been lifted wholesale from Coldplay's 'Clocks'" is something of a left turn for him, although given the LaChapellian depths Rihanna's been heading into lately I suspect she might give him a pat on the head and an "a" for effort, you know?

Chris Brown upset over leak of unfinished song 'Electric Guitar' [AP]

_ Choice Music Single: Jonas Brothers, "When You Look Me in the Eyes."
_ Choice Hook-Up: Jordin Sparks and Chris Brown, "No Air."
_ Choice Music Male Artist: Chris Brown.
_ Choice Music Female Artist: Miley Cyrus.
_ Choice Music R&B Artist: Chris Brown.
_ Choice Breakout Group: Jonas Brothers.
_ Choice Music Love Song: Jonas Brothers, "When You Look Me in the Eyes."
_ Choice Music R&B Track: Chris Brown, "Forever."
_ Choice Music Rap/Hip-Hop Track: Lil Mama featuring T-Pain and Chris Brown, "Shawty Get Loose."
_ Choice Summer Song: Jonas Brothers, "Burnin' Up."

The Jonas Brothers also won "Choice Male Hottie" and "Choice Red Carpet Fashion Icon Male" as a single entity, which is something of a neat trick that I'm sure will serve as some sort of impetus for their inevitable breakdown/breakup. Other music-related winners in non-music related categories, all of whom have something to do with some sort of music-related TV show during some point in their career:
_ Choice TV Show Comedy: "Hannah Montana."
_ Choice TV Reality Music Competition: "American Idol."
_ Choice TV Actress Comedy: Miley Cyrus, "Hannah Montana."
_ Choice TV Male Reality/Variety Star: David Cook, "American Idol."
_ Choice Male Hottie: Jonas Brothers.
_ Choice Female Hottie: Vanessa Hudgens.
_ Choice Red Carpet Fashion Icon Female: Carrie Underwood.
_ Choice Red Carpet Fashion Icon Male: Jonas Brothers.
_ Choice Most Fanatic Fans: David Archuleta.

Teen Choice Awards Winners [AP]

Chris Brown Wrigley's commercial [YouTube]
VIVA LA VIDA - COLDPLAY iTunes commercial [YouTube]

In case you haven't yet heard "Forever," here it is:

Note the use of "double your pleasure, double your fun" in the chorus. Hands up if, like me, you just thought that the use of said phrase was another example of culture in 2008 incessantly borrowing from itself! Instead, it was all part of a secret plan to indoctrinate the youth!

Mr. Brown was commissioned to write and sing both the pop song and a new version of the Doublemint jingle, introduced in 1960.

First, Mr. Brown updated the jingle and recorded it with hip-hop producer Polow Da Don. Then, during the same Los Angeles recording sessions in February, paid for by Wrigley, Mr. Brown added new lyrics and made a 4½-minute rendition of the tune, titled "Forever."

In April, Mr. Brown's record label, Jive, released the song to radio stations and digital download services as a single. After the song became a hit, Jive added it to his 2007 album, "Exclusive," and re-released the album in June.

And now the song is a contender for the top spot on the chart, which Wrigley must be thrilled about (although I'm sure that Wrigley's execs are kicking themselves for not getting current No. 1 Katy Perry to redo the Big Red jingle instead of Ne-Yo). And Brown must be thrilled, too, since the speedy way in which he wrote both tracks has jacked up his hourly rate for songwriting:

Mr. Brown said in an email that he wrote "Forever" and the related jingle in about 30 minutes each. "I actually thought it would take longer to write a jingle they would like," he wrote. "But they said it was a perfect fit after the first try."

Take note, Rihanna—you probably got the Brown-assisted "Disturbia" at a bargain-basement price!

Chew On This: Hit Song Is A Gum Jingle [WSJ]
Chris Brown - Forever [Dailymotion]

This week, seemingly out of nowhere and thanks to none of the above efforts, M.I.A. has her first hit on Billboard's Hot 100, "Paper Planes," which makes its debut all the way up at No. 55.

M.I.A. can credit the House Of Apatow for her sudden chart fortunes, as trailers and ads for the forthcoming Seth Rogen/James Franco stoner comedy Pineapple Express prominently feature the track.

I think M.I.A. fans knew last summer that this song was destined to become her crossover hit, and if it goes no further than this, it will have already fulfilled its destiny. Except it's going to do better because, somewhat improbably, M.I.A. is apparently connecting with one of the most loyal music-buying audiences in history: stoners.

"Paper Planes" makes its chart appearance a little less than a year after the release of Kala, and seven months after Idolator named "Paper Planes" one of the awesomest songs of 2007.

That's the result of an explosion in sales at iTunes, where the song currently ranks 20th among Apple's best-sellers. According to SoundScan, the digital track has sold 434,000 copies cumulatively—but nearly one-tenth of those sales came in the past week alone. As Pineapple's opening date of Aug. 6 gets closer and its ads become more omnipresent, it's not crazy to speculate that "Paper Planes" could become a top 10 download and an official Top 40 hit.

Until now, Interscope has had little to show for its promotional efforts on M.I.A.'s behalf—her U.S. chart performance has been modest, at best. Her debut Arular sold rather weakly despite an avalanche of hype in 2005; Kala did better, debuting in the Top 20, but to date it's tallied just under a quarter-million in sales. As for the song charts, she's got a spotty record: a supporting performance on a lone R&B/Hip-Hop hit (Jamesy P's Soca hit "Nookie," No. 54 in 2005); some club play last spring for her Bollywood homage "Jimmy" (No. 28 on Hot Dance Club Play in March); and several appearances on the Singles Sales charts, which track physical releases and can be reached with just a few hundred in sales.

"Paper Planes" is in a whole other category. It's already halfway up the Hot 100 and even scored some chart ink back in May on the lower reaches of the Pop 100, a Top 40-oriented list—which must mean at least a handful of radio stations have tried spinning it.

Obviously, most any song affiliated with a massive media property—movie, TV show, ad campaign—does well on iTunes and on the Hot 100. Just this week, an 11-year-old Smashing Pumpkins track featured in the new Watchmen trailer, "The End Is the Beginning Is the End," sold nearly 11,000 copies thanks entirely to that exposure. For a song to take on a life of its own, it's got to connect with the kind of audience that'll keep coming back and telling their friends about it—Grey's Anatomy fans, say, or metalheads.

Or, better yet, stoners. Allow me to digress for a moment.

Buried in the online edition of Billboard every week is one of its least sexy charts: Hot Ringtones. This chart was old-school from the moment Billboard launched it, in late 2004, since it tracks sales of polyphonic tones used by older and cheaper cell phones. But enough people buy the blippy, oddly expensive tones every week—and the music industry makes enough money from them—that they continue to be tracked by Billboard and SoundScan. (There's a separate, more contemporary chart called Hot Ringmasters that tracks the better-sounding, actual-song-sampling ringers you've heard on phones in recent years.)

On this week's Hot Ringtones, five "songs" have been listed for more than three years now. The top three longevity champs are instrumental ditties with deep pop-culture resonance: the themes from Super Mario Brothers, The Pink Panther, and Mission: Impossible. In fourth is 50 Cent's deathless 2005 hit "Candy Shop." And in fifth place, now in its 167th week, is Afroman's 2001 hit "Because I Got High." You can just imagine the thousands of 4:20 fans who've downloaded that ringtone after hearing their buds' phones explode with it.

Afroman's longevity with an ode to getting baked might explain why M.I.A.'s biggest hit might have a long shelf life. Those of us who love "Paper Planes" have talked about a lot of its catchy elements: the gunshots, the Clash sample, the kids' chorus, the loping beat. But someone in Columbia Pictures' marketing department keyed into the one thing that was easy for all of us elites to miss—the lyrics about weed: "I'll fly like a paper, get high like planes"; "Pirate skulls and bones/Sticks and stones and weed and bombs." Okay, it's not nearly as obvious as "Because I Got High." But featuring it in a movie trailer that opens with Rogen driving a car in a cloud of heavy smoke makes the connection plain.

Sure enough, the same week "Paper Planes" makes its Hot 100 debut, it debuts at No. 32 on Billboard's Hot Ringmasters chart. Unlike the Ringtones chart, which is filled with old reliables like the Mario Bros., the Ringmasters list tends to track current hits more closely; the week's top "master" is Katy Perry's "I Kissed a Girl," which is also the top Hot 100 hit. So, sure, there are innocent reasons why M.I.A.'s track makes an appearance here: it's now a hit. Then again, most of the top-selling Ringmasters are more established hits than "Paper Planes" is.

In short, somebody—a lot of somebodies—clearly thinks it's a gas to hear "Paper Planes" coming out of a phone when their homeboy calls. What makes it an ideal ringtone? Is it the gunshots? The insistent beat? Or just maybe, does that three-second snippet inspire fond thoughts of the next great high?

We'll probably have a better sense of this a few months from now, to see whether "Paper Planes" is still selling ringtones. Say one thing for stoners: they are loyal, but some of them are a little slow on the uptake. (I mean: Afroman, guys? Still?!)

Here's a rundown of the rest of this week's charts:

• We've been hoping for the last couple of weeks that Rihanna would save us from Katy Perry at the top of the Hot 100—but if she's going to do it, it probably isn't going to be with the song at No. 2, "Take a Bow." As discussed here two weeks ago, there was a chance that "Bow" might crawl back to No. 1 thanks to late-blooming radio love. Nearly three months after it topped the Hot 100, "Bow" is now in its second week at the top of Billboard's Airplay chart. Unfortunately, at the same time, it's out of the money on the Digital Songs list, off more than 10% this week alone. As long as Perry's "I Kissed a Girl" keeps selling truckloads of digital singles, radio alone likely won't bring "Bow" back to the top.

That leaves the Autotuneriffic "Disturbia," Ri's latest madly catchy hit, which is starting to pick up the ball. It's been stuck at No. 15 for the last three weeks, but there are signs that that's about to break. "Disturbia" is rising steadily in radio airplay, but take a peek at iTunes: it's now the second-biggest seller at the Apple Store, after "Kissed." I would attribute this sales burst to the release this week of the attention-grabbing video, which has succeeded in drawing buzz. (I heard my local morning-show deejays just yesterday debating whether it's "too creepy.") The uptick for "Disturbia" happened after the end of the tracking week for this week's charts, so expect to see a burst on next week's Hot 100.

• Speaking of "Disturbia," I just learned recently that Chris Brown co-wrote it, which is apropos since he's got an Autotune-heavy club hit of his own on the rise right now. "Forever," which sounds like the inverse of "Disturbia" and was written by virtually the same team (Brown, Andre Merritt, and Rob Allen) is up another notch to No. 3 this week. "Forever" still could be a candidate for the top slot, but it has some of the same issues as Rihanna's "Bow": heavy airplay, modest sales. "Forever" does clear 100,000 downloads this week, but it doesn't appear to be breaking out the way "Disturbia" is. Maybe Brown kept the wrong hit for himself...

• The action in the Country Top 10 is at the top and the bottom this week. The new No. 1, "Good Time," is Alan Jackson's 23rd career chart-topper and immediately follows another bell-ringer, "Small Town Southern Man"; that's his first time scoring back-to-back No. 1's since 2001-02, when he did it with "Drive (for Daddy Gene)" and that 9/11 ballad. And down at No. 10... holy cow, what was I saying last week about slow-moving country hits? Check out the 40 weeks it took American Idol Season 2 finalist Josh Gracin to grab his fourth Top 10 country hit.

• The Modern Rock list looks perky for once, with every song but two in the Top 10 moving at least one spot. That starts at the top, where, after an 11-week run, Weezer's "Pork and Beans" finally succumbs—to a very familiar face, Dave Grohl. "Let It Die" is Foo Fighters' third straight chart-topper. I must confess, "Die" is my favorite of this round of Foo hits. Not that this list needs any more Foo, God help us...

Top 10s
Last week's position and total weeks charted in parentheses (Digital Songs chart includes total downloads/percentage change in parentheses):

Hot 100
1. Katy Perry, "I Kissed a Girl" (LW No. 1, 11 weeks)
2. Rihanna, "Take a Bow" (LW No. 2, 15 weeks)
3. Chris Brown, "Forever" (LW No. 4, 13 weeks)
4. Lil Wayne feat. Static Major, "Lollipop" (LW No. 3, 19 weeks)
5. Coldplay, "Viva la Vida" (LW No. 7, 11 weeks)
6. Leona Lewis, "Bleeding Love" (LW No. 5, 23 weeks)
7. Natasha Bedingfield, "Pocketful of Sunshine" (LW No. 6, 23 weeks)
8. Lil Wayne, "A Milli" (LW No. 8, 13 weeks)
9. Kardinal Offishall feat. Akon, "Dangerous" (LW No. 14, 11 weeks)
10. Jesse McCartney, "Leavin'" (LW No. 11, 13 weeks)

Hot Digital Songs
1. Katy Perry, "I Kissed a Girl" (LW No. 1, 159466 downloads)
2. Jonas Brothers, "Pushing Me Away" (CHART DEBUT, 116,346 downloads)
3. Miley Cyrus, "7 Things" (LW No. 2, 114,307 downloads)
4. Jonas Brothers, "Burnin' Up" (LW No. 3, 107,226 downloads)
5. Chris Brown, "Forever" (LW No. 7, 101,681 downloads)
6. Coldplay, "Viva la Vida" (LW No. 4, 101642 downloads)
7. Rihanna, "Disturbia" (LW No. 6, 94,649 downloads)
8. The Pussycat Dolls, "When I Grow Up" (LW No. 5, 93,002 downloads)
9. Metro Station, "Shake It" (LW No. 9, 79,386 downloads)
10. Natasha Bedingfield, "Pocketful of Sunshine" (LW No. 10, 77,784 downloads)

Hot R&B/Hip-Hop Songs
1. Keyshia Cole, "Heaven Sent" (LW No. 1, 17 weeks)
2. Lil Wayne, "A Milli" (LW No. 2, 13 weeks)
3. Alicia Keys, "Teenage Love Affair" (LW No. 4, 23 weeks)
4. The-Dream, "I Luv Your Girl" (LW No. 3, 21 weeks)
5. Rihanna, "Take a Bow" (LW No. 7, 13 weeks)
6. Chris Brown, "Take You Down" (LW No. 6, 17 weeks)
7. Young Jeezy feat. Kanye West, "Put On" (LW No. 9, 11 weeks)
8. Plies feat. Ne-Yo, "Bust It Baby (Part 2)" (LW No. 5, 21 weeks)
9. Lil Wayne feat. Static Major, "Lollipop" (LW No. 8, 19 weeks)
10. David Banner feat. Chris Brown, "Get Like Me" (LW No. 12, 21 weeks)

Hot Country Songs
1. Alan Jackson, "Good Time" (LW No. 2, 15 weeks)
2. Blake Shelton, "Home" (LW No. 1, 26 weeks)
3. Sugarland, "All I Want to Do" (LW No. 5, 9 weeks)
4. Brooks & Dunn, "Put a Girl in It" (LW No. 3, 13 weeks)
5. Keith Urban, "You Look Good in My Shirt" (LW No. 6, 9 weeks)
6. Taylor Swift, "Should've Said No" (LW No. 7, 10 weeks)
7. Keith Anderson, "I Still Miss You" (LW No. 8, 25 weeks)
8. Miranda Lambert, "Gunpowder & Lead" (LW No. 9, 29 weeks)
9. Montgomery Gentry, "Back When I Knew It All" (LW No. 4, 22 weeks)
10. Josh Gracin, "We Weren't Crazy" (LW No. 11, 40 weeks)

Hot Modern Rock Tracks
1. Foo Fighters, "Let It Die" (LW No. 2, 16 weeks)
2. Weezer, "Pork & Beans" (LW No. 1, 14 weeks)
3. The Offspring, "Hammerhead" (LW No. 3, 11 weeks)
4. Coldplay, "Viva la Vida" (LW No. 5, 7 weeks)
5. Disturbed, "Inside the Fire" (LW No. 7, 17 weeks)
6. Linkin Park, "Given Up" (LW No. 4, 20 weeks)
7. Seether, "Rise Above This" (LW No. 6, 22 weeks)
8. Saving Abel, "Addicted" (LW No. 8, 18 weeks)
9. Staind, "Believe" (LW No. 11, 4 weeks)
10. Carolina Liar, "I'm Not Over" (LW No. 12, 12 weeks)

Chris Brown - "Run It"

Destiny's Child - "Lose My Breath"

Diddy featuring Brandy - "Thought U Said"

Honestly, something that's more like this, and less like "London Bridge," I'd be fine with. It sounds like a lost Sugababes track! Too bad any chance of it being released as a single went up in smoke when Brandy had that traffic mishap.

Confirmed: Britney Spears Working On New Album [EW]

You can't kill Leona Lewis, you can only make her stronger. For the first time in 30 years, a song returns to the No. 1 spot on Billboard's Hot 100 after being evicted twice. Love her or hate her, Ol' Dead Eyes is back.

As unusual as Leona's threepeat is, the more interesting moves this week are made below the No. 1 spot, in part because it looks like the songs we may be hearing during car-radio season are hitting the charts now. That includes big debuts by the unsinkable Chris Brown and heartthrob Jesse McCartney, a first-time appearance by new British "It" girl Duffy, and a huge move on Modern Rock by a certain gang of veteran geek-rockers trying to regain their cred.

First, Leona's unusual feat: In general, it's not uncommon for songs to return to No. 1 after falling out for a week or two; just last year, two songs (Maroon 5's "Makes Me Wonder" and Soulja Boy's "Crank That") pulled it off. But "Bleeding Love" is the first song on the Hot 100 to go to No. 1, drop out, return, drop out again, and then come back a third time since the immortal "Le Freak" by Chic in 1978.

Back then, Chic's competition for the top slot came from Barbra Streisand's and Neil Diamond's "You Don't Bring Me Flowers" and the Bee Gees' "Too Much Heaven"—a classic disco song outlasting two sappy ballads. This year, it's the sappy ballad beating back the more uptempo material: Lewis first evicted Mariah Carey's "Touch My Body" and now ousts Lil Wayne's "Lollipop," which falls to No. 2.

Each time "Bleeding" has hit No. 1, there's been a sales-related deus ex machina assisting it. The first time, it was Oprah (now that's a deus!); the second time, the release of Lewis' album and the attendant hype surrounding it. This time, it's Lewis' performance of the song on last week's American Idol results show, which boosts sales of "Bleeding" to a new peak of 233,000 downloads.

However, as I've said here before, Lewis' ballad is becoming legitimately huge with the public and will likely hang around the upper reaches of the charts for a while. At this writing, more than a week removed from her Idol performance, "Bleeding" is still the top seller on iTunes. Any of this week's top four songs could be No. 1 next week, but for once, plain old inertia might keep Lewis there two weeks in a row.

Clear The Way: The number of debuts on the Hot 100 this week, 10, isn't unusual, but the bona fides of the songs debuting is, kinda. At least half of them, out of the gate, stand a legitimate chance of reaching the winners' circle. (One of them is already there!) It all depends on how soon they catch on with radio audiences. Let's review a half-dozen of them.

Chris Brown, "Forever" - Debuting all the way up at No. 9, it matches Yael Naïm's fluke hit "New Soul" as the highest debut of the year so far. Actually, this is a fluke hit too, as improbable as that seems. "Forever" isn't the "official" fourth single from Brown's sophomore album Exclusive. That would be the vaguely lewd slow-jam "Take You Down," which debuted on the Hot 100 last week (way down at No. 99) and on the R&B/Hip-Hop chart more than a month ago (it's just outside that chart's Top 20 now). "Forever," on the other hand, is a bonus track on the forthcoming "special edition" rerelease of Exclusive. As a kind gesture, the Zomba label released the song early on iTunes for those who already bought Brown's album. Those loyal fans snapped up 113,000 copies of the song, which entirely explains its high placement on the chart this week; it's receiving no measurable airplay so far. You can expect "Forever" to drop next week, which ironically makes it the only one of this week's debuts to have likely already peaked.

Jesse McCartney, "Leavin'" - Another huge debut, at No. 14, the leadoff single from McCartney's forthcoming Depature boasts production assistance from a dream team (no pun intended) of Terius "The-Dream" Nash, Tricky Stewart, and the Neptunes. As with Brown's latest single, McCartney's high debut masks a bit of weakness: it's been available to radio programmers for nearly two months, but only its recent digital release (95,000 downloads, the ninth-biggest seller of the week) got it onto the chart. So it'll probably have a couple of bad weeks on the list until radio catches on. But with no similar singles competing with it—and a solid hook and thumping beat—"Leavin'" could solidify into a genuine hit by summer.

Lil Wayne, "Milli" - A fairly impressive debut at No. 60, "Milli" is a less obvious pop crossover than "Lollipop," with plenty of Wayne's conversational spew. The fall of Weezy's first No. 1 hit isn't fazing him much; he's already unleashed the followup on iTunes, with Tha Carter III still weeks away from release. (Theoretically—I wouldn't bet the farm on this—the album comes out June 10.) As is typical for the world's most prolific recording artist, "Milli" has been out for a couple of months already on mixtapes under the name "A Milli" (sometimes "A Millie"). We've grown accustomed by now to Weezy dropping singles regularly; the difference is, he's now enough of a pop presence that his singles actually perform on the Hot 100.

Usher feat. Beyonce & Lil Wayne, "Love in This Club, Part II" - Debuting at No. 79 on the Hot 100 and a stunning No. 14 on the R&B/Hip-Hop Chart, this looks like a booming-jeep smash already. As reviewed last week by Maura, the rethink of Usher's No. 1 smash is a revelatory transformation of an already-established hit into something breezier and groovier. R&B radio is already signaling its preference: the same week "Part II" makes that massive debut, its "part I" predecessor falls out of the R&B/Hip-Hop chart's No. 1 slot (giving way to Lil Wayne's "Lollipop").

Weezer, "Pork and Beans" - A Hot 100 debut at No. 84, but that's not the big news: on the Modern Rock chart, Rivers Cuomo's bid for post-"Beverly Hills" acceptance vaults 16 notches to No. 3, suggesting it could top the chart in near-record time. That rock format is probably the song's only source of airplay so far, but then, with the exception of the fluke "Hills," it's been a long time since Weezer was a regular Top 40 radio presence. The main cause of "Pork's" Hot 100 debut is its 17,000 downloads sold—a fairly light total that suggests fans are a bit wary. Or maybe the old-school Cuomo-heads are holding out for the Red Album.

Duffy, "Mercy" - Debuting at No. 87, the 21st-century Lulu (I'm with Ken Barnes: these Dusty Springfield comparisons are bullshit) actually sold more downloads last week (nearly 18,000) than Weezer. Radio airplay is still light, so Duffy's strong sales are probably attributable to "Mercy" getting played during a recent episode of ER. Still, the helium-voiced British gal's irresistible hit has that summer vibe all over it, and MTV is starting to play the hell out of the video (at, um, three in the morning). So theoretically the hype will turn real pretty soon.

...And One More Thing: If you're an iTunes user who's nostalgic for the middle of the aughts, be sure to check out the special section Apple posted to commemorate the iTunes Music Store's fifth anniversary this past Monday (careful, autoloads iTunes).

Included in the package are lists of all of Apple's biggest sellers, year by year, from 2003 through 2007. The lists for the first two years, 2003 and 2004, are the most interesting to me. Digital sales have only been used to compile the Billboard charts since early 2005, so this is the first time I've seen all-encompassing lists of Apple's biggest buck-a-song sellers from the Store's early days.

The top download of 2003: OutKast's "Hey Ya!"—which sounds obvious, until you consider that André 3000's megasmash was released about two months before the end of that year. The likely explanation for its end-of-year dominance is that Apple added Windows compatibility for iTunes in October 2003, which exponentially increased the Store's userbase just as OutKast released its biggest single ever.

The top seller for 2004 was Maroon 5's annoyingly inescapable "This Love." Actually, the whole 2004 list is a parade of minivan-friendly adult pop, with Hoobastank, U2, the Black Eyed Peas, and Counting Crows taking the rest of Apple's top five, and a second Maroon 5 track, "She Will Be Loved," making the year-end top 10, too. That brings up another theme of Apple's Store: its evolution from a yuppie-friendly, Starbucksish place for early iPod adopters into the biggest teen gathering place on earth. You really see it on the singles side: by 2007, the list of top-selling albums continues to house soccer-mom-friendly fare like Maroon 5, John Mayer and Amy Winehouse, but the top-selling single is the no-adults-allowed smash "Crank That" by Soulja Boy.

Top 10s
Last week's position and total weeks charted in parentheses:

Hot 100
1. Leona Lewis, "Bleeding Love" (LW No. 2, 11 weeks)
2. Lil Wayne feat. Static Major, "Lollipop" (LW No. 1, 7 weeks)
3. Jordin Sparks with Chris Brown, "No Air" (LW No. 3, 17 weeks)
4. Madonna feat. Justin Timberlake, "4 Minutes" (LW No. 6, 6 weeks)
5. Usher feat. Young Jeezy, "Love in This Club" (LW No. 4, 11 weeks)
6. Ray J & Yung Berg, "Sexy Can I" (LW No. 7, 13 weeks)
7. Mariah Carey, "Touch My Body" (LW No. 5, 11 weeks)
8. Sara Bareilles, "Love Song" (LW No. 8, 26 weeks)
9. Chris Brown, "Forever" (CHART DEBUT, 1 week)
10. Chris Brown, "With You" (LW No. 9, 22 weeks)

Hot R&B/Hip-Hop Songs
1. Lil Wayne feat. Static Major, "Lollipop" (LW No. 3, 7 weeks)
2. Mariah Carey, "Touch My Body" (LW No. 2, 12 weeks)
3. Usher feat. Young Jeezy, "Love in This Club" (LW No. 1, 12 weeks)
4. Ashanti, "The Way That I Love You" (LW No. 6, 11 weeks)
5. Rick Ross feat. T-Pain, "The Boss" (LW No. 7, 16 weeks)
6. Ray J & Yung Berg, "Sexy Can I" (LW No. 4, 16 weeks)
7. Jordin Sparks with Chris Brown, "No Air" (LW No. 8, 8 weeks)
8. Keyshia Cole, "I Remember" (LW No. 5, 26 weeks)
9. 2 Pistols feat. T-Pain and Tay Dizm, "She Got It" (LW No. 13, 16 weeks)
10. Plies feat. Ne-Yo, "Bust It Baby (Part 2)" (LW No. 17, 9 weeks)

Hot Country Songs
1. George Strait, "I Saw God Today" (LW No. 1, 12 weeks)
2. James Otto, "Just Got Started Lovin' You" (LW No. 3, 28 weeks)
3. Trace Adkins, "You're Gonna Miss This" (LW No. 2, 21 weeks)
4. Taylor Swift, "Picture to Burn" (LW No. 4, 16 weeks)
5. Phil Vassar, "Love Is A Beautiful Thing" (LW No. 5, 26 weeks)
6. Brad Paisley, "I'm Still a Guy" (LW No. 6, 10 weeks)
7. Rascal Flatts, "Every Day" (LW No. 7, 10 weeks)
8. Lady Antebellum, "Love Don't Live Here" (LW No. 9, 30 weeks)
9. Carrie Underwood, "Last Name" (LW No. 10, 7 weeks)
10. Kenny Chesney, "Better as a Memory" (LW No. 11, 6 weeks)

Hot Modern Rock Tracks
1. Seether, "Rise Above This" (LW No. 1, 10 weeks)
2. Puddle of Mudd, "Psycho" (LW No. 2, 26 weeks)
3. Weezer, "Pork & Beans" (LW No. 19, 2 weeks)
4. Atreyu, "Falling Down" (LW No. 3, 14 weeks)
5. Flobots, "Handlebars" (LW No. 7, 4 weeks)
6. The Raconteurs, "Salute Your Solution" (LW No. 4, 5 weeks)
7. 3 Doors Down, "It's Not My Time" (LW No. 5, 10 weeks)
8. Linkin Park, "Given Up" (LW No. 8, 8 weeks)
9. Death Cab for Cutie, "I Will Possess Your Heart" (LW No. 9, 6 weeks)
10. The Bravery, "Believe" (LW No. 6, 30 weeks)

For a fifth week, Flo Rida's "Low" rules Billboard's Hot 100. But that bit of warmed-over southern crunk finally has some competition: "With You," Chris Brown's collaboration with Norwegian pop-masters StarGate, is the biggest gainer in both sales and airplay on the entire chart. Unless there's a left-field surge by a fast-rising Rihanna, Mr. Brown will likely evict Mr. Rida from No. 1 in another week or two.

StarGate: Infinity: Quick—who's most ubiquitous in the Top 20 this week? T-Pain? Taylor Swift? Sean Kingston? Lil Wayne? (We can dream!)

Look closely at the fine print on the chart, and the most oft-recurring names are "T.E. Hermansen" and "M.S. Eriksen"—Tor and Mikkel to their friends, StarGate to the rest of us. They are co-writers and producers on no less than four hits in the Hot 100's top quintile: Brown's "With You" (No. 4), Rihanna's "Don't Stop the Music" (No. 7), Jordin Sparks's "Tattoo" (No. 12) and Rihanna's duet with Ne-Yo, "Hate That I Love You" (No. 19). Look a little further down the chart, and they're also credited on Trey Songz's former Top 20 hit "Can't Help But Wait" (No. 28).

Of these current hits, "Hate..." was cowritten by Ne-Yo, and he's basically the conduit through which the Norwegians first gained access to the U.S. charts. StarGate's streak began in earnest in 2006, with Mr. Yo's (okay, I'll stop now) No. 1, "So Sick." But the duo reached the stratosphere with Beyonce's 2006-07 megasmash "Irreplaceable," and they've been on a tear ever since. Ne-Yo cowrote the Beyonce hit, too—but as this week's chart shows, the 'Gate guys aren't reliant on him so much anymore. The other four hits are cowritten by an array of chart mainstays, like Jermaine Dupri protégé Johnta Austin and veteran U.K. songwriter Amanda Ghost.

Even if you haven't heard Brown's latest hit, you probably know what it sounds like. The StarGate guys have developed a trademark sound: midtempo pseudo-ballad, strummy acoustic guitars, square-on-the-nose pop melody and—the neat trick—a lite-R&B quality that somehow doesn't sound weird coming from a pair of Scandinavians. On the Ne-Yo tracks and, more recently, Rihanna's, they often shamelessly channel Michael Jackson—which basically makes them heirs to Rod Temperton, another very white European who somehow wrote some of the most indelible R&B melodies of the '70s and '80s.

Yeah, the StarGate sound is getting a little tired—which makes their latest Rihanna collaboration encouraging. "Don't Stop the Music" is a driving club throwdown—very Eurodisco and, with its Michael Jackson sample, certainly in their wheelhouse, but still a kinda-new thing for them. The song's leap into the Top 10 this week suggests a smash in the making, which might finally give Tor and Mikkel a reputation as something more than one-trick ponies.

Okay, We Won't Call It a Comeback: A couple of weeks ago, Janet Jackson's "Feedback" looked like a return to chart form, hurtling toward the Top 40 and selling well on iTunes. It was evidence that, whatever her recent travails, Janet's fans were loyal.

The question is whether anyone else cares: "Feedback" reverses course this week, down five notches to No. 56. Rather than pile on Damita Jo, we should point out that the picture actually isn't so bleak—but her promo people may have their work cut out for them.

"Feedback"'s drop this week is entirely due to digital-sales slippage. It sold well on iTunes for the first couple of weeks, as diehard fans and other curiosity-seekers piled on; now that they're satisfied, sales are inevitably slowing. So here comes radio to the rescue: the song just debuted on the Hot 100 Airplay chart this week, a good sign for her.

From here, "Feedback" will have to earn its way up the chart the normal way—radio leading to renewed sales and requests, leading to more airplay, etc. After two flop albums, the tough part will be convincing radio programmers to stick with the song while sales are modest. The other good news for Janet: she'll probably get another sales burst in late February, the week after Discipline, the album, drops.

MileyWatch: I dedicated a whole segment last week to Miley Cyrus, and I won't go crushing on "See You Again" again—except to point out that, after scoring her first Top 40 hit under her own name last week, she now has her second. Her duet with daddy, "Ready, Set, Don't Go" (credited to "Billy Ray Cyrus with Miley Cyrus") leaps six spots to No. 40. Damned Cyruses, don't know when to leave well enough alone...

Stuff to Watch: Rather than dedicate this last bit to songs on the rise, I'll just point out a few that are on the wane, some more surprising than others. Soulja Boy's "Crank That" is finally, blessedly out of the Top 20 (down 10 spots to No. 25)—amazing how long it's taking to disappear. Kanye West's awesome "Flashing Lights" has hit an unfortunate ceiling, losing its bullet at No. 29 (up one spot). As nicely as her album's selling, Mary J. Blige's current single, "Just Fine," isn't: up two to No. 35, and also bullet-less. And you Juno-haters out there can enjoy the schadenfreude of its fluke hit, "Anyone Else But You" by stars Michael Cera and Ellen Page, falling to No. 98 from No. 91—that is, unless the Oscar nods give the soundtrack a boost next week...

The top 20, with last week's position and total weeks charted in parentheses:
1. Flo Rida feat. T-Pain, "Low" (LW No. 1, 13 weeks)
2. Alicia Keys, "No One" (LW No. 2, 20 weeks)
3. Timbaland feat. OneRepublic, "Apologize" (LW No. 3, 25 weeks)
4. Chris Brown, "With You" (LW No. 6, 8 weeks)
5. Fergie, "Clumsy" (LW No. 5, 15 weeks)
6. Chris Brown feat. T-Pain, "Kiss Kiss" (LW No. 4, 19 weeks)
7. Rihanna, "Don't Stop the Music" (LW No. 13, 9 weeks)
8. Sean Kingston, "Take You There" (LW No. 10, 12 weeks)
9. Finger Eleven, "Paralyzer" (LW No. 7, 33 weeks)
10. Sara Bareilles, "Love Song" (LW No. 11, 12 weeks)
11. Snoop Dogg, "Sensual Seduction" (LW No. 12, 8 weeks)
12. Jordin Sparks, "Tattoo" (LW No. 9, 17 weeks)
13. Colbie Caillat, "Bubbly" (LW No. 8, 30 weeks)
14. Taylor Swift, "Teardrops on My Guitar" (LW No. 17, 33 weeks)
15. Alicia Keys, "Like You'll Never See Me Again" (LW No. 16, 11 weeks)
16. Taylor Swift, "Our Song" (LW No. 20, 17 weeks)
17. Natasha Bedingfield feat. Sean Kingston, "Love Like This" (LW No. 19, 14 weeks)
18. Wyclef Jean Featuring Akon, Lil Wayne & Niia, "Sweetest Girl (Dollar Bill)" (LW No. 18, 19 weeks)
19. Rihanna feat. Ne-Yo, "Hate That I Love You" (LW No. 14, 21 weeks)
20. Linkin Park, "Shadow of the Day" (LW No. 21, 11 weeks)

The stasis continues in the upper reaches of Billboard's Hot 100, with Flo Rida's "Low" on top for a fourth week and the next four positions unchanged. But a rising hit is knocking on the door of the Top Five, and it gives Chris Brown two simultaneous Top 10 hits, just a couple of weeks after his current album crossed one million in sales. In a music industry gone mad—or maybe just gone dead—it's good to be a 18-year-old R&B/pop star with moves.

Somebody, Do Something: I've said it more than once recently, but I'll say it again, with hope in my heart—the new hits are coming, to rescue us from the winter blahs. You wouldn't know it from the current Top Five, which, if you get your chart data from a CNN bumper or an elevator screen, is all you'll see. But there are a lot of strong risers further down the chart, including several in the Top 20. Now all we need is for one of them to evict OneRepublic, Alicia, or Fergie.

The real action starts at No. 6, where Brown's Stargate-fueled, "Irreplaceable"-esque jam "With You" makes a big move from No. 12. It's just two spots below his now-ancient hit with T-Pain, "Kiss Kiss." And as if all this Top 10 action weren't enough, way down the chart, he's dueting with Jordin Sparks on the biggest Hot 100 mover of the week, the ballad "No Air" (No. 69, up 26 spots); it's conceivable that within another couple of weeks, Brown will have three simultaneous Top 40 hits. Who does this kid think he is, T-Pain?!

Sean Kingston finally has a full-blown Top 10 followup to his No. 1 summer smash "Beautiful Girls," as the J.R. Rotem-produced "Take You There" slides up three spots to No. 10. That's after two singles of his that fell just shy: the Zeppelin-sampling "Me Love" and the Natasha Bedingfield duet "Love Like This," both of which got stuck in the teens. With its Sean Paul-like sound, "Take You There" is more radio-friendly and will probably hang around the upper rungs of the chart for a while.

The two most encouraging movers are at Nos. 12 and 13, where Snoop Dogg's "Sensual Seduction" and Rihanna's "Don't Stop the Music" move about a decile each. Both tracks are growing in digital sales and radio airplay, but the big driver for one song is the opposite of the other's.

The Snoop hit is all about airplay: "Sensual" is already among the Top 10 most-played songs on the radio, with R&B/hip-hop stations (natch) hitting it particularly hard. Weirdly, its sales are solid but a bit slow.

For Rihanna, the picture is flipped: airplay is just starting to really catch fire, but on iTunes, it's just outside the Top 10. Overall, it's one of the few digital tracks to grow in sales this week (three weeks after Christmas, digital sales are still settling down from the post-gifting explosion).

All Growed's Up: I'd be remiss if I didn't mention the biggest mover into Top 40, a little ditty called "See You Again" by one Miley Cyrus. Perhaps you've heard of her?

The snarly, über-catchy single is not only embarrassingly good (seriously, is anyone as sheepishly in love with this song as I am?); by giving the erstwhile Hannah Montana her first Top 40 hit, it's also arguably the first successful crossover by a teen-TV star since the Disney Channel mainstreamed Hilary Duff about six years ago. Unlike all the short-lived "hits" by the High School Musical gang, which appeared on the chart thanks only to temporary bursts of iTunes sales, "See" is scoring actual radio airplay on actual radio stations heard by actual adults. This week, it makes its debut on Billboard's airplay chart...way down at No. 69 (on a 75-position chart), which means it has a ways to grow. Still: virtually every Radio Disney hit of the last five years, including the output of Jonas Brothers and Ashley Tisdale, hasn't even done this well on the radio. It'll be interesting to watch this fungus spread.

Stuff to Watch: There's an interesting record brewing on the country chart, where women have been No. 1 for nine straight weeks, thanks largely to Taylor Swift. Although it's down a bit on the Hot 100, on Hot Country Songs her hit "Our Song" is in its sixth week at No. 1, and it followed a three-week run for Carrie Underwood's "So Small." As Fred Bronson pointed out in his chart column last week, that's the longest that solo ladies have topped this chart—traditionalist as ever, the country format normally prefers its men in hats. If Swift can hold onto the top for two more weeks, she'll tie the longest-running No. 1 female-sung country hit of all time, from 1964: Connie Smith's "Once a Day."

The top 20, with last week's position and total weeks charted in parentheses:
1. Flo Rida feat. T-Pain, "Low" (LW No. 1, 12 weeks)
2. Alicia Keys, "No One" (LW No. 2, 19 weeks)
3. Timbaland feat. OneRepublic, "Apologize" (LW No. 3, 24 weeks)
4. Chris Brown feat. T-Pain, "Kiss Kiss" (LW No. 4, 18 weeks)
5. Fergie, "Clumsy" (LW No. 6, 14 weeks)
6. Chris Brown, "With You" (LW No. 12, 7 weeks)
7. Finger Eleven, "Paralyzer" (LW No. 7, 32 weeks)
8. Colbie Caillat, "Bubbly" (LW No. 6, 29 weeks)
9. Jordin Sparks, "Tattoo" (LW No. 8, 16 weeks)
10. Sean Kingston, "Take You There" (LW No. 13, 11 weeks)
11. Sara Bareilles, "Love Song" (LW No. 9, 11 weeks)
12. Snoop Dogg, "Sensual Seduction" (LW No. 21, 7 weeks)
13. Rihanna, "Don't Stop the Music" (LW No. 26, 8 weeks)
14. Rihanna feat. Ne-Yo, "Hate That I Love You" (LW No. 11, 20 weeks)
15. Soulja Boy, "Crank That (Soulja Boy), Soulja Boy Tell'em" (LW No. 10, 27 weeks)
16. Alicia Keys, "Like You'll Never See Me Again" (LW No. 25, 10 weeks)
17. Taylor Swift, "Teardrops on My Guitar" (LW No. 18, 32 weeks)
18. Wyclef Jean Featuring Akon, Lil Wayne & Niia, "Sweetest Girl (Dollar Bill)" (LW No. 15, 18 weeks)
19. Natasha Bedingfield feat. Sean Kingston, "Love Like This" (LW No. 17, 13 weeks)
20. Taylor Swift, "Our Song" (LW No. 16, 16 weeks)

Is it just me, or does Lil Mama simply demolish T-Pain when it comes to flow? I swear there was one part during T-Pain's first verse that caused me to have a vision of him running behind the song, panting all the way. Lil Mama, meanwhile, is namechecking Twista in her verses, which almost sounds like a dare for a future duet that would be a lot more fun to listen to than "Shawty Get Loose (Remix)," which also has the most generic Chris Brown chorus ever committed to tape. Perhaps T-Pain's presence on the song is actually a very shrewd move on the part of Lil Mama's label to position her as a fleet-tongued young lady ready to slay any dragon in her path, even if said dragon's fire is vocoder-assisted, but I dunno.

Lil Mama Feat T-Pain, Chris Brown - Shawty Get Loose (Remix) [YouTube via Blender]

"The door was being run by a woman who was nuts - she didn't know anyone and would literally ask people like Chris Brown, 'What do you want?' when they approached her and her many security guards. She wouldn't let Chris' friends in and refused entry to Fergie's manager. There were also problems with Will.i.am, but the sad thing was that, when you finally made it past that door beast, there was no one in there - just Chris Daughtry. It was pathetic."

No word on whether Daughtry was still toting around his awards after performing the show-closing number with them onstage, although if he was, that would probably explain his ability to get past the woman working the door. After all, what says "No, really, I belong!" more than a glass obelisk with a bunch of sweaty fingerprints on it?

'PATHETIC' LA MUSIC BASH [Page Six]
[Photo: Getty]

All you chart-watchers who felt that three simultaneous Top 10 hits featuring T-Pain weren't enough to satisfy your urge for 2007's hook-singing MVP can raise your pimp cups high: "Low," a fourth Painful smash (led by fellow Sunshine State MC Flo Rida), explodes nearly 60 spots this week on Billboard's Hot 100. Parked just outside the top five (and directly adjacent to two other Pain-supported hits), Flo Rida's club banger instantly becomes a contender to take over the No. 1 spot in the next couple of weeks. But first he'll have to get past the reigning T-Pain-kissed smash, Chris Brown's "Kiss Kiss," which stays at No. 1 for a third week. Oh, and Alicia Keys might have something to say about it, too.

Flo Gets "Low," Keys Says "No": The spur for Flo Rida's and Pain's big jump? What else: iTunes—the digital release of "Low" in the middle of last week resulted in an instant best-seller. It's been iTunes' top track for days now and probably would've been Billboard's top seller for the chart week if Chris Brown's smash didn't have incumbency (and a full week of data) on its side. So for this chart week, Billboard ranks "Low" as its third-biggest seller, but it will inevitably be the top-seller of the next chart week.

With all those sales (131,000 downloads last week alone), "Low" probably would've landed at an even higher Hot 100 rung if its radio airplay weren't still so modest. It's increasing in spins, but still just scraping the top 40 most-played songs at radio—unlike, say, Alicia Keys' "No One," radio's most-played song, which has been creeping toward the top for a dog's age. Up another notch to No. 2 (as Timbaland and OneRepublic drop back to third place with "Apologize"), "No One" has a seemingly clear path to No. 1 next week. The release of Keys' album has already given her a boost on iTunes, and "No One" is, at midweek, outselling "Kiss Kiss" and second only to "Low." Flo Rida's edge in digital sales is likely massive, but his radio deficit will probably be too large to prevent her from claiming the throne.

The Ghost of Fitty: For those T-Pain fans wondering how long it's been since one act has appeared four times in a single week's Top 10, well, it's been... two whole years. (Not that impressive, is it?) As Billboard chart columnist Fred Bronson points out, he last guy to do it was 50 Cent, back in the heady days of The Massacre: during the first week of April 2005, Fitty was namechecked at Nos. 1, 5, 6 and 8. And his feat was somewhat more impressive than the Pain-meister's, because 50 was lead artist on two of those hits ("Candy Shop" and "Disco Inferno") and arguably an equal duet partner in the third one ("Hate It or Love It" with erstwhile posse-mate The Game); the fourth hit ("How We Do") was more clearly a Game joint with 50 as backup.

On the other hand, the sheer range of acts T-Pain is supporting in this week's Top 10 is impressive, not to mention geographically diverse: in addition to state-mate Flo Rida, T-Pain is supporting Virginia native Brown, Chi-town homeboy Kanye West, and California cholo Baby Bash.

And let's face it, as tired as we all are of hearing T-Pain's vocal hooks, something tells me we won't all be lustily rooting for his downfall in an album battle a couple of years from now.

Quick Takes: Given the late release of this week's chart, we'll run down just a few brief highlights:
• Finger Eleven make good on our prediction last week and score their first U.S. Top 10 hit with "Paralyzer."
• As Maura reported yesterday, the Country Music Association awards were good to any act that performed on the air, particularly Taylor Swift ("Our Song" moves up 12 slots to No. 24) and Sugarland ("Stay" vaults 26 notches to No. 32). In both cases, iTunes sales are the big spur, but Sugarland's radio spins are up solidly, too.
• We are officially eating crow on American Idol 2007 winner Jordin Sparks, whose "Tattoo" was sluggish in its first month but seems to have caught on: it makes a big move into the Top 20 in its seventh chart week. Blake Lewis, your move?

The top 20, with last week's position and total weeks charted in parentheses:
1. Chris Brown, "Kiss Kiss" (LW No. 1, 9 weeks)
2. Alicia Keys, "No One" (LW No. 3, 10 weeks)
3. Timbaland feat. OneRepublic, "Apologize" (LW No. 2, 15 weeks)
4. Soulja Boy, "Crank That (Soulja Boy), Soulja Boy Tell'em" (LW No. 4, 18 weeks)
5. Colbie Caillat, "Bubbly" (LW No. 5, 20 weeks)
6. Flo Rida feat. T-Pain, "Low" (LW No. 64, 3 weeks)
7. Kanye West feat. T-Pain, "Good Life" (LW No. 8, 9 weeks)
8. Baby Bash feat. T-Pain, "Cyclone" (LW No. 7, 16 weeks)
9. Kanye West, "Stronger" (LW No. 6, 16 weeks)
10. Finger Eleven, "Paralyzer" (LW No. 14, 23 weeks)
11. Rihanna feat. Ne-Yo, "Hate That I Love You" (LW No. 9, 11 weeks)
12. Fergie, "Clumsy" (LW No. 20, 5 weeks)
13. Timbaland feat. Keri Hilson & D.O.E., "The Way I Are" (LW No. 10, 24 weeks)
14. J. Holiday, "Bed" (LW No. 11, 17 weeks)
15. matchbox twenty, "How Far We've Come" (LW No. 15, 11 weeks)
16. Fergie, "Big Girls Don't Cry" (LW No. 12, 30 weeks)
17. The-Dream, "Shawty is a 10" (LW No. 18, 10 weeks)
18. Jordin Sparks, "Tattoo" (LW No. 27, 7 weeks)
19. 50 Cent feat. Justin Timberlake & Timbaland, "Ayo Technology" (LW No. 16, 14 weeks)
20. Pink, "Who Knew" (LW No. 17, 23 weeks)

Well, Mariah Carey's "All I Want For Christmas Is You" is back on the digital tracks chart, which is as good a sign as any that the popular singers of right now will be unleashing their own Yuletide tracks. This clip for Chris Brown's version of Donny Hathaway's "This Christmas" is a tie-in with the film of the same name with a cute "Chris Brown can make Christmas happen with the power of his mind" conceit. But basically I'm just posting it now because I suspect you—and, really, all of us—will be hit over the head with it at every store you enter between now and Boxing Day. Forewarned is forearmed!

Chris Brown - This Christmas [YouTube]

After marching to No. 1 on Billboard's Hot 100 last week, Chris Brown's "Kiss Kiss," featuring T-Pain, solidifies its lead this week, as radio airplay begins to catch up with the song's strong sales. With second-place Timbaland/OneRepublic seeing a slowdown in points for their "Apologize," and most of the Top 10 static, Brown could be smooching atop the chart for several weeks yet.

A Game of Inches: Alicia Keys' "No One" has spent more than half its chart life in the Top 10, but closing the deal is proving difficult: It's up one hard-earned notch to No. 3 on the Hot 100 this week. "No One" has been the most-played song at radio for a month now, and at iTunes, there hasn't been a week when the song hasn't sold more copies than the week before. Problem is, those sales gains have been getting smaller—they're only 4% this week—and Chris Brown's closing the gap with her in airplay; "Kiss Kiss" is now the second-most-played song at radio.

Although Keys is less than a decade older than Brown, what you're seeing atop the chart right now is a typical adults-vs.-kids pattern. Broadly speaking, songs that appeal to older demographics do better at radio early on, while younger-leaning hits tend to explode in sales before radio catches up. (Adults are also more likely to wait for an album to drop, while kids find 99 cents an easier bite of their disposable income.)

Keys, praised on the cover of last week's Billboard as a "career artist" and beloved by radio listeners twice her age (remember all those Grammys five years ago?), is now a known quantity and enjoyed multi-format airplay for "No One" from the start. Brown—let's call him the Gen-Z Usher—relies primarily on a high-school-age, Top 40-listening fanbase that judges him on a song-by-song basis; they were bored by "Wall to Wall," but they showed up in force when "Kiss Kiss" dropped on iTunes, then belatedly spurred their local deejays to crank the song up to maximum rotation.

"Kiss Kiss" was actually down in sales last week, but it's still No.1 on that chart. With Brown's album in stores this week and selling well at iTunes, the song should see another sales burst. The questions for Keys are: 1, can she maintain her airplay lead over Brown; and 2, will the imminent release of her album give her the iTunes boost she needs to seal the deal?

No Such Thing as Bad Publicity, Data Point 2,463,892: Following up Jess's item today about the business benefits of public shame, the release of Britney Spears' Blackout album juices the sales of several of its songs. "Gimme More," which never got past its headline-grabbing vault to No. 3 a month and a half ago, sees its first chart gain since then, inching back up to No. 13 on the Hot 100. (It probably would've reentered the Top 10 if the song's airplay weren't already virtually dead.)

The more notable feat comes from the second Blackout song to make the chart, "Piece of Me." It debuts on the Hot 100 at No. 65—not mind-blowing as debuts go, but remarkable only because Zomba, Spears' label, hasn't even formally anointed the song as the next single or started working it heavily to radio. The chart debut comes entirely from sales points, as "Piece" instantly ranks among the 20 biggest sellers on the digital chart (it sold 34,000 downloads last week, vs. 71,000 for the established "Gimme").

Easily the most talked-about track from the album—did any Blackout review fail to mention it?—"Piece of Me" is Spears's "Leave Me Alone" and solidifies her carnival-freak reputation for those who enjoy her antics more than her artistry. That said, it's also a wicked-catchy song and a favorite around the Idolator flophouse. Either way, the public has spoken with their dollars, so don't be surprised if "Miss American Dream since [she] was 17" is showing her derriere on a pop station near you imminently. (Missing from the Hot 100 thus far, but also making iTunes' top 100, are potential hits "Radar" and "Break the Ice.")

Stuff to Watch: The only thing that makes us feel better about Fergie's "Clumsy" making the Top 20 in only its fourth chart week—besides the fact that, admittedly, it's the most tolerable of her solo tracks yet—is that it was outmaneuvered this week by "I'm So Hood." At No. 19, DJ Khaled and his massive featured-artist entourage—including, yes, T-Pain again—are growing solidly in both sales and airplay and should make the Top 10 in a week or two. But forget Khaled, T-Pain and the Ferg: the most likely winners'-circle debutante in the immediate future is Finger Eleven's "Paralyzer." Four more notches, and the Ontario-based veterans will have one of the slowest-moving Top 10 hits in chart history. Make way, hosers!

The top 20, with last week's position and total weeks charted in parentheses:
1. Chris Brown, "Kiss Kiss" (LW No. 1, 8 weeks)
2. Timbaland feat. OneRepublic, "Apologize" (LW No. 2, 14 weeks)
3. Alicia Keys, "No One" (LW No. 4, 9 weeks)
4. Soulja Boy, "Crank That (Soulja Boy), Soulja Boy Tell'em" (LW No. 3, 17 weeks)
5. Colbie Caillat, "Bubbly" (LW No. 5, 19 weeks)
6. Kanye West, "Stronger" (LW No. 6, 15 weeks)
7. Baby Bash feat. T-Pain, "Cyclone" (LW No. 8, 15 weeks)
8. Kanye West feat. T-Pain, "Good Life" (LW No. 7, 8 weeks)
9. Rihanna feat. Ne-Yo, "Hate That I Love You" (LW No. 9, 10 weeks)
10. Timbaland feat. Keri Hilson & D.O.E., "The Way I Are" (LW No. 10, 23 weeks)
11. J. Holiday, "Bed" (LW No. 11, 16 weeks)
12. Fergie, "Big Girls Don't Cry" (LW No. 12, 29 weeks)
13. Britney Spears, "Gimme More" (LW No. 16, 9 weeks)
14. Finger Eleven, "Paralyzer" (LW No. 18, 22 weeks)
15. matchbox twenty, "How Far We've Come" (LW No. 14, 10 weeks)
16. 50 Cent feat. Justin Timberlake & Timbaland, "Ayo Technology" (LW No. 13, 13 weeks)
17. Pink, "Who Knew" (LW No. 15, 22 weeks)
18. The-Dream, "Shawty is a 10" (LW No. 21, 9 weeks)
19. DJ Khaled Featuring T-Pain, Trick Daddy, Rick Ross & Plies, "I'm So Hood" (LW No. 30, 8 weeks)
20. Fergie, "Clumsy" (LW No. 28, 4 weeks)

The six-week history of this column has been dominated by a single YouTube-fueled, "YOOOOOOOU!!"-chanting chart-topper. This week, we finally have a changing of the guard atop Billboard's Hot 100, and—surprise, surprise—the 17-year-old Soulja Boy has abdicated to another pipsqueak. Voting-age Chris Brown dances up to No. 1 with "Kiss Kiss" after a 20-spot move to No. 2 last week. It's Brown's second career No. 1 hit, after 2005's "Run It!"; meanwhile, featured vocalist T-Pain is taking second trip to the top of the chart this year, following "Buy You a Drank (Shawty Snappin')" last spring.

Ain't No Particular Sound He's More Compatible With: We really called it wrong on "Kiss Kiss" last week. After scoring a fat first week of iTunes sales, my suspicion was that Brown would have a tough time moving into the Hot 100 penthouse, thinking that his sales couldn't possibly move much higher and his airplay was still building. Well, guess what? Digital sales on "Kiss Kiss" grew in week two—up 18% to an even fatter 187,000—and Brown's airplay is also exploding: "Kiss Kiss" is now the third-most-played song on the radio, up from ninth last week. The moral: radio programmers watch the charts, too. I'd lay good money that Brown's latest would've grown much more slowly at Top 40 radio (especially after the failure of Brown's teaser single this summer, "Wall to Wall") if PDs hadn't observed the data showing the song had momentum.

Significantly, "Kiss Kiss" actually grows in airplay faster than the song that rises one spot to No. 2, "Apologize." That's bad news for Timbaland and OneRepublic, who have likely gone as far as they can; Brown and T-Pain are both outselling them and out-playing them, and the momentum's on their side.

As far as who'll evict Brown in the weeks to come, the songs in the Top Five to watch remain Alicia Keys' "No One"—still at No. 4, but still the top song at radio—and Colbie Caillat's "Bubbly," holding at No. 5 and now moving into the top 10 in radio airplay. If you live in a Top 40-centric (read: white radio) universe, you'd be fair in thinking that "Bubbly" is the most massive song in the universe right now; it's the highest-charting song this week that relies entirely on non-R&B radio airplay. The Top 40 and Hot AC stations spinning "Bubbly" are playing the living crap out of it.

The Album Effect: Ever s