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Posts Tagged “Clay Aiken”

If you were the 50-year-old sister of producer David Foster, would you a) choose Clay Aiken to artificially inseminate you and b) plan on having Clay be active part of that child's life? TMZ says "yes." I still can't decide if this is the weirdest story of celebrity spankin' n' bankin' or that honor still belongs to David Crosby. [TMZ]

10 comments

chart preview, or 'depressing dan gibson'

Neil Diamond To Top The Increasingly Relevant Album Chart

The results of this week's round of album sales are trickling in, and it looks like Neil Diamond will take the top spot, selling in the neighborhood of 125,000 copies. Diamond's previous album, 12 Songs, debuted at No. 4, which may be a sign that Matt Sweeney's acclaimed guitar work on Home Before Dark is responsible for its success. Projections have all non-Neil Diamond albums selling below the six figure benchmark; Clay Aiken slides into second place with less than half of the first-week sales of 2006's A Thousand Different Ways. What happened, Claymates? You've let your red-haired angel down. Madonna and Mariah Carey hang on desperately to the three and four spots, while Gavin DeGraw, Toby Keith, Leona Lewis, Josh Groban, Dierks Bentley, and Michael Buble round out the most depressing top ten in recent memory. [HITS]

1:30 PM on Fri May 9 2008
By Dan Gibson
237 views, 7 comments

Latest by Big Gray.: Jonny Polonsky also plays on that record. Mid-90s college radio music director types might remember having that dude shoved down their throats. Wait, that doesn't read so right... more »

the last word

Get Ready, Wal-Mart Cashiers: It's Clay Day

From time to time, we like to round up the all-important, all-summarizing last sentences of the biggest new-music reviews, even when the new release schedule isn't quite as exciting as it was the week before. Under consideration today is an album that Largehearted Boy has said the "mainstream media" is "fawning over": Clay Aiken's On My Way Here. More »

10:15 AM on Tue May 6 2008
By Dan Gibson
1,521 views, 8 comments

not bringing sexy back

Clay Is Not Aiken To Be Justin Timberlake, And He's Succeeding

"I'm not trying to be Justin Timberlake. Thank God we have him, but I'm not him. ... I'm not gonna bring anybody's sexy back." Oh, Clay. Even as you try to erase what fan base you have left with ever more horrifying haircuts, I'm sure there are a few people left who like to imagine the possibility of you showing up in their room wearing nothing but pointy shoes and a Keebler elf cap. Aiken's new album, On My Way Here, comes out tomorrow and its chock-full of power ballads and powerless ballads that describe the struggle that is La Vida Clay. The struggle of a man who went from heartthrob David Cassidy to seething, diva-esque "fine, Broadway it is" David Cassidy In less than a decade. More »

3:30 PM on Mon May 5 2008
By Anthony Miccio
612 views, 7 comments

Latest by punkybunky: *thinking more »

Like Neil Sedaka and Johnny Rzeznik before him, Clay Aiken will hoof it over to QVC to sell his album On My Way Here this Monday, when he'll perform live on the home-shopping channel and hawk a special-edition CD/DVD combo of the record. "Starting my career on national, live television, it seems fitting to be unveiling my new album live on QVC," Aiken reportedly told whatever flack wrote the press release announcing this bit of synergy, adding, "and it'll be so nice to field calls from Claymates instead of snide comments from Simon, even if there is the possibility of having to answer questions about my underwear-buying habits and stuff." [PR Newswire via Fox / Photo: AP]

Comment

Clay Aiken invites Simon Cowell to kiss his butt the next time the salty Brit dismisses a hopeful as being "too Broadway," since so many former American Idol finalists have gone on to Great White Way careers that have been much more challenging—and rewarding—than serving as cogs in the Clive Davis/Simon Fuller machine. Which is, y'know, kind of a valid point. Also: Please note that Aiken actually said "butt," and not "ass," so as not to offend the Claymates' oh-so-delicate ears. [Broadway.com]

7 comments

"Clay Aiken, who became a music superstar following his success on the American Idol television series, will join the Tony Award-winning Best Musical, Monty Python's SPAMALOT, making his Broadway debut in the role of Sir Robin, at the Shubert Theatre, New York, from January 18 to May 4, 2008." Over/under on number of huge pieces of oaktag bearing awkward sexual innuendoes being confiscated by ushers at Aiken's opening-night performance: 25. [PRNewswire]

5 comments

This YouTube clip of Clay Aiken being whipped while singing "SexyBack" was, perhaps, best summed up by former Idolator guestblogger Eric Harvey: "Jesus, it's like a young Charles Nelson Reilly." Or Paul Lynde. Or Rip Taylor. You get the picture. [YouTube via PopEater]

5 comments

Claymates' Fandom Continues To Manifest Itself In A Thousand Disturbing Ways

6 comments

polls

Who Wants to Abuse an Orchestra?

Noted Beatles coverers Cheap Trick will
play all of Sgt. Pepper with the Hollywood Bowl Orchestra, and joining them will be Aimee Mann, Joan Osborne, two other dudes, and "an Indian instrumental ensemble" for "Within You Without You." Meanwhile, noted glasses-wearers The Decemberists are on a tour wherein they play with a different orchestra in every city, and earlier this week they played with the Grant Park Orchestra in Chicago, apparently not very well. (The countdown to Tribune critic Greg Kot getting flamed by Colin Meloy's girlfriend starts now.) Coincidentally, on the same night Clay Aiken performed with the Syracuse Symphony Orchestra, apparently kinda well. So which one of these performances would you rather see (if forced)? And how long before the Claymates descend and tilt our poll in their hero's direction? More »

10:55 AM on Fri Jul 20 2007
By Dick Malone
2,848 views, 11 comments

Latest by AcidReign:     Cheap Trick's a very capable bunch, and if anyone can pull off Sgt. Pepper decently, it's them. Still, I'm more intrigued by the idea of TSO doing it. I'm imagining the title track, right now, with those big, more »

feuds

Clay's Fans Are Aiken To Get Into A Scrap

Long known for shutting out those who disagree with them, Clay Aiken's fans, no doubt because of their insularity, have now turned on each other: More »

1:45 PM on Mon Jun 11 2007
By mjohnston
1,042 views, 2 comments

clay aiken

The Clay Aiken Fan-Fiction Writers Are Going To Have A Field Day With This

Clay Aiken is apparently aware of his fans' all-too-dirty minds; last week, he invited Claymates to "come up with the most outlandish story you can that places [him] in a really juicy, tawdry, scandalous, shameful story." We figured the idea of him getting kissed on the calf by his AC/DC-loving drummer was juicy enough, but the Best Week Ever crew decided to take it to the next level—and by "next level," we mean "a potentially slanderous mash-up with 'To Catch A Predator.'" We hope they're ready for the inevitable comment-section firestorm. More »

5:18 PM on Tue Feb 6 2007
By mjohnston
538 views, 2 comments

Latest by kerrang: poof! all of a sudden the clay aiken/drummer girl fansite is down! and i have 68 chapters left!!! ugh more »

cover-song showcase showdown

The Cover-Song Showcase Showdown: Who's The Loneliest Singer Of Them All?

Time for another installment of the Cover-Song Showcase Showdown, in which we dig up numerous recreations and bastardizations of a beloved song, and let you vote on which is the least offensive. Today's candidate Badfinger's 1970 lament "Without You," which has been taken on by artists ranging from Il Divo to Heart. We've got the two versions that hit No. 1 on the U.S. pop charts—by Harry Nilsson and Mariah Carey, whose covers are mashed up in the above clip—in competition, as well as takes on the song from mop-topped American Idol runner-up Clay Aiken and Chicago-based provocateur Bobby Conn. More »

2:20 PM on Thu Dec 21 2006
By mjohnston
849 views, 11 comments

Latest by Dancomono: Damn, not the best introduction to Bobby for the uninitiated (and sans the fabulous Glass Gypsies). For full effect, try to picture him dolled up in eyeshadow and a jumpsuit, inexplicably in the audience and dangerously close to your face. more »

clay aiken

The Clay Aiken NSFW Fan-Fiction Round-Up: Prepare To Squirm

One thing you learn from going on a Clay Aiken web-bender is that many of his fans have dirty, dirty thoughts about their favorite red-head, which they express through some of the most nauseating fan fiction we've ever had the displeasure of reading. We spent the morning scouring Clay's Haven, a collection of unecessarily lengthy (and unimaginably bawdy) Clay Aiken fantasies; after a good hour or so of de-licing, we compiled some of the entrants below. Can you spot the fake?

More »

1:16 PM on Mon Oct 23 2006
By Brian Raftery
984 views, 28 comments

Latest by tempblindness: Wait, does he have pubes? more »

clay aiken

Claymates Not Exactly Aiken' To Make New Friends

A few days ago, we ran one of our Cover-Song Showcase Showdown polls, this time pitting Joe Budden against Gelfling singer Clay Aiken. Realizing that Clay Aiken's fervent fanbase might be interested in goosing our traffic helping to spread democracy, we spent an hour trying to get the word on every Clay Aiken fanboard we could find. After countless info forms, spam-block procedures, and "What was your first pet's name?" password procedures, we're confident that it is easier to get a work visa in Kabul than to get posting privileges on ClayToGo.com. So imagine our disappointment when we checked our e-mail this morning: More »

3:14 PM on Thu Oct 19 2006
By Brian Raftery
360 views, 9 comments

Latest by icame4themusic: So you guys were dissed by The Clayboard, and now you want me to put my ass on the line to be dissed by you. Is that what this is all about? How rude! I'm a Clayboard member only because all Clay more »

mp3

The Cover-Song Showcase Showdown: Mr. Aiken And Mr. Budden Meet Mr. Mister

Welcome to the latest installment of the Cover-Song Showcase Showdown, in which we present you with several versions a well-known classic, and you decide which one you like best. Today's victim candidate: Mr. Mister's apparently-cooler-than-we-thought 1985 hit "Broken Wings," which appears on Clay Aiken's recent A Thousand Different Ways, and also serves as the background for freestyle rap track from Joe Budden (thanks to Nah Right for the Budden track). More »

12:33 PM on Mon Oct 16 2006
By Brian Raftery
774 views, 14 comments

who charted?

Who Charted? Clearly, Janet Jackson Hooked Up With The Wrong Diminuative Loudmouth

Last week's sales figures have been tallied, and, much like America, it's a strange mix of smooth-talkers, skanks and polka enthusiasts: More »

12:48 PM on Wed Oct 4 2006
By Brian Raftery
75 views, 2 comments

charts

Breaking: Clay Aiken-Justin Timberlake Grudge Match Not Over Yet!

It looks as though this week's music-chart battle isn't actually finished yet: The L.A. Times is reporting that a "national sales chain" didn't provide their numbers to Soundscan, meaning yesterday's tallies (in which Timberlake trumped Aiken by a mere 12,000 copies) will have to be updated. Considering how narrow the margin is between J and Clay, this could possibly flip their chart positions, though that might depend upon which sales outlet has yet to report (if it's Hot Topic, Aiken's totally going to win—nothing goes better with an Emily Strange purse than an earnest cover of Mr. Mister's "Broken Wings"). More »

9:30 AM on Thu Sep 28 2006
By Brian Raftery
146 views, 6 comments

Latest by Chris Molanphy: That's a pretty big fuckup. Still, I think mathematically it has to break Trousersnake's way, 'cuz as big as Best Buy is, all they do is amplify trends already shown by Wal-Mart and Circuit City. The Megaforce guys have a point. more »