Your Guest Idolator tries his hand at another installment of the Coulda-Shoulda-Woulda Files, raiding his hard drive in search of a lost gem.

Artist: Fischerspooner
Song: "The 15th"

What happened: Few albums landed with so resounding a thud as the debut by this art-damaged dance-punk duo. Actually, a couple of blips and then a thud: their ill-fated, widely loathed #1 was released on two different indie labels in 2001 and 2002 before finally crossing to the majors on Capitol in 2003 - just in time for the electroclash mini-movement they helped embody to breathe its last yawn. So why are we posting a track from this old thing? Because we think the never-hotter James Murphy from LCD Soundsystem just might owe Casey Spooner a small debt, or at least his current look.
Why it should have been a hit: Reviewing #1, the folks at Trouser Press said it best: "It's probably a little unfair to complain that a cover song is the best track on an album when that song is Wire's 'The 15th'—just about the only albums that song wouldn't be the best cut on are Revolver and The Velvet Underground and Nico." Still, Fischerspooner's cover of Wire's 1979 chestnut is actually (gasp!) thoughtful and (double gasp!) musical: reimagining Colin Newman's already ethereal lyric in an even dreamier context, and unwittingly anticipating portions of both the DFA's career and maybe even the Postal Service's. And hey, check out that video—none of the garish makeup or downtown scenesters made semi-famous in FS's "Emerge" clip or its happening-like concerts; just a straight-up performance with a frisson of backward-camera trickery. You know Murphy was taking notes.

Fischerspooner - The 15th [MP3, link expired]
Wire - The 15th [MP3, link expired]
Fischerspooner, "The 15th" [YouTube]

Artist: The Divine Comedy
Album: Regeneration (2001)
What happened: The Divine Comedy is essentially Irish-born singer-songwriter Neil Hannon, whose long career has included forays into neo-classical, Britpop and even TV-show themes. Regeneration was his seventh album, and despite spot-on songs and production duties by Nigel Godrich, American audiences didn't pay much attention (possibly because they could only handle one British band at a time).
Why it should have been a hit: Regeneration is full of the sort of sneering torch songs that we Yanks can never quite get right: "Bad Ambassador" starts out as a last-call come-on and ends as a desperate plea, while "Note To Self" is a dark dirge that wouldn't have sounded entirely out-of-place on The Bends. If you're going to dig into Hannon's eight-album-and-counting catalog, you might as well start here:

The Divine Comedy - Bad Ambassador [MP3, link expired]
The Divine Comedy - Note To Self [MP3, link expired]
The Divine Comedy [Official Site]

Artist: Weston
Albums: A Real Life Story of Teenage Rebellion (1994), Got Beat Up (1996)
What happened: We're certainly guilty of hitting the '90s-nostalgia button a bit too much around here ("Hey, wasn't Faith No More awesome? And so was En Vogue!"), but we can't help the fact that during much of the Clinton era, one of your Idolators was obsessed with this Bethlehem, Pa. outfit (it helped that they were at Penn State seemingly every other Saturday). And considering that Weston played a few reunion shows earlier this year, we can't be alone.
Why they should have been a hit: Because of their to-the-point delivery and cheeky on-stage demeanor, Weston was often lumped in with the pop-punk movement, despite the fact that Teenage Rebellion and Got Beat Up were much more in the thoughtful, fuzzy-pop vein of Sebadoh (there were a lot of Weezer comparisons at the time, no doubt fueled in part by the fact that they often sat next to one in another in the CD bins). And while songs like "Retarded" and "Just Like Kurt" were written in a teen-frustration mindset, they've aged better than we ever imagined:

Weston - Retarded [MP3, link expired]
Weston - Just Like Kurt [MP3, link expired]
Weston - Dinosaur [MP3, link expired]
Weston [MySpace]

Artist: PJ Harvey
Song: "Reeling," 1993
What happened: Shortly after the release of PJ Harvey's second full-length, Rid Of Me, Island Records put out 4-Track Demos. The record was, for the most part, a collection of early versions of tracks from Rid Of Me; a demo of "Reeling," which was a b-side on the "50ft Queenie" single, was also included.
Why it should have been a hit: "Reeling" is Harvey at her brawniest—her choppy guitar strokes and the freaked-out organ only heighten her demands that Robert De Niro sit on her face and that every eye in the house focus solely on her. Sure, it's jagged and raw, but it was released in 1993, remember? If "Heart-Shaped Box" could make it on the radio, this could have, too.

PJ Harvey - Reeling (Demo) [MP3, link expired]
BONUS TRACK: PJ Harvey - Yuri-G (Demo) [MP3, link expired]

Time for another installment of the Coulda-Shoulda-Woulda Files, where we raid our archives in search of a lost gem.

Artist: Curve
Song: "Already Yours," 1992
What happened: The collaboration between vocalist (and UK music press darling) Toni Halliday and multi-instrumentalist Dean Garcia was full of swirly guitars and otherworldly vocals; they rode a steady wave of UK hype through the release of three EPs in 1991, and when Doppleganger, Curve's first full-length, came out in 1992, it reached No. 11 on the UK album chart. But when it came out in Stateside, Curve experienced a softer landing; "Faît Accompli" only got minor airplay on modern rock stations.
Why it should have been a hit: "Already Yours" opens Doppleganger, and it's a fine summation of the Curve aesthetic, with Halliday's surly vocals fronting guitars that billow into huge plumes and clipped drum-machine beats. Confession time: We slept on Doppleganger when it first came out, and found a copy in a used bin sometime in the mid-'90s; after the first spin through it, we kicked ourselves for not buying it the day it came out. (We've also posted "Faît Accompli," which remains a stone-cold classic.)

Curve - Already Yours [MP3, link expired]
BONUS TRACK: Curve - Faît Accompli [MP3, link expired]
C U R V E [Official site]

Time for another installment of the Coulda-Shoulda-Woulda Files, where we raid our archives in search of a lost gem.

Artist: Stars
Song: "Elevator Love Letter," 2002
What happened: Before finding indie-rock infamy with 2004's Set Yourself On Fire, Canada's Stars released the sparkling Heart. And while "Elevator Love Letter" was a mid-sized hit in the band's homeland, the group's stateside breakthrough was still a few years away.
Why it should have been a hit: From the ringing opening chords to the pleading finale, "Elevator" is a near-perfect look at love from a distance. Somebody clearly had their heart broken while recording this tune, and we're all better off because of it:

Stars - Elevator Love Letter [MP3, link expired]

Artist: Benett
Song: "Don't Mention Disco," 1996
What happened: The Los Angeles singer Benett's first solo album, So You're Not Coming Over?, was full of irresistible hooks and sweetly sad songs; it also had a few cameos from that dog. alum Petra Haden. She's since put out a few solo records, with her most recent appearance coming on a 2005 compilation by the Los Angeles label Kittrudge.
Why it should have been a hit: Back in our Discman days, we could not stop hitting the rewind button every time "Don't Mention Disco" ended; if play-counting software had existed back in the day, this song would probably still be near the top of our last.fm charts. "Disco" tells the story of a young lady who gets jilted on the dance floor, then compounds her embarrassment by falling on her face as she tries to flee the scene, and its girl-group-ready chorus is accompanied by a swirl of analog synthesizers and heartbreak.

Benett - Don't Mention Disco [MP3, link expired]
benett [MySpace]

Artist: Prick
Album: Prick, 1995
What happened: After Nine Inch Nails' The Downward Spiral affirmed industrial music's chart capacity, the field was wide open for followers. Trent Reznor's own label, nothing, went sniffing around, and while bringing to the world's attention Marilyn Manson and German British electro-rap group Pop Will Eat Itself, actually did some good by discovering Cleveland's Kevin McMahon, at the time recording under the name Prick.
Why it should have been a hit: Prick's eponymous debut—produced by Reznor and engineered by Alan Moulder (Spiral, Siamese Dream)—was singer-songwriter industrial, sung with an English affect highly reminiscent of Marc Bolan. "Other People," with background vocals from Reznor, was the single, but "I Apologise" is the album's true winner. Alternating strummed acoustic guitars with red-needle screaming, McMahon tries to win back an ex-lover through sheer volume. We'll never know if he succeeded, though; Prick was dropped by nothing parent company Interscope before a follow-up could be recorded.

Prick - Other People [MP3, link expired]
Prick - I Apologise [MP3, link expired]

Artist: Kandi
Song: "Don't Think I'm Not," 2000
What happened: After some teenaged success in the vocal group Xscape, Kandi Burress went into songwriting; she helped pen a bunch of R & B hits, including TLC's "No Scrubs" and "Bug A Boo" by Destiny's Child. Sony gave her a solo record deal, and her first album, Hey Kandi, contained "Don't Think I'm Not," which peaked at No. 24 on the Billboard Hot 100.
Why it should have been a hit: "Don't Think I'm Not" is a frothy post-breakup track, and its bitter-ex lyrics that read like a Livejournal entry directed at one person. But at around the two-minute mark, "Don't Think I'm Not" goes into its bridge, and even though it's pretty simple, the break where Kandi belts out a long "sooooo ... reaalllll" always, always gets us to sing along, and we couldn't have been the only people to have that reaction.

Kandi - Don't Think I'm Not [MP3, link expired]
Destiny's Child - Bug A Boo [MP3, link expired]
Kandi [Official site]

Artist: The Woodentops
Album: "Maybe It Won't Last," 1988
What happened: Wooden Foot Cops On The Highway was the final album by the British band The Woodentops; while it boasted "spiritual assistance" from Lee "Scratch" Perry, fans of the band's earlier material were put off by it, although the track "Stop This Car" enjoyed minor success on the LA radio station KROQ.
Why it should have been a hit: "Maybe It Won't Last" opens Wooden Foot Cops, and it's a terror of a song with a manic piano line and no-future lyrics. Its herky-jerky beat and perfectly realized harmonies on the chorus make it even more irresistible.

The Woodentops - Maybe It Won't Last [MP3, link expired]
The Woodentops [MySpace]

Artist: Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam
Album: "Little Jackie Wants To Be A Star," 1989
What happened: In the mid-'80s, Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam couldn't stop pumping out the hits: "All Cried Out," "Head To Toe," and "Lost In Emotion" all went top 10 from 1986-87, and the group's first two albums, Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam With Full Force and Spanish Fly, were certified platinum. Straight To The Sky, the follow-up album to Spanish Fly, came out in 1989, and "Jackie," its lead single, peaked at No. 29 on the Billboard charts.
Why it should have been a hit "Jackie" is a shift from the beat-heavy tracks that Lisa Lisa took to the top—with its breezy beat and gently strummed acoustic guitars, it brings to mind Beyonce's monster hit "Irreplaceable." Sure, its teenage-runaway lyrics make the mood a little bit heavier, but it wasn't like that theme wasn't common among pop songs of the time. (You remember Poison's "Fallen Angel," don't you?) "Jackie" should have been coming out of car windows for the entire summer, warnings about five-dollar highs and all.

Lisa Lisa - Little Jackie Wants To Be A Star [MP3, link expired]
Lisa Lisa [MySpace]

Artist: Crush
Song: "Jellyhead," 1996
What happened: Donna Air and Jayni Hoy were both actresses on the UK soap Byker Grove, and they were signed to the UK label Telstar after singing in a group spun off from the show; the duo released two singles, "Jellyhead" and "Luv'd Up," before Hoy left and was replaced by Luciana Caporaso. After Caporaso came in, Crush released a self-titled full-length (it used Hoy's vocals on eight of its 12 tracks) that flopped, despite the presence of three songs penned by Saint Etienne singer Sarah Cracknell.
Why it should have been a hit "Jellyhead" opens with the classic put-down "So what if your jeans are torn / They've been torn since Bros were cool," and it heads even more into the red from there. If Andrew WK's "Party Hard" had an aggrieved teenage sister, the radio edit of "Jellyhead" would be it, thanks to its keyboard sugar rushes, multitracked vocals, and exhortations to turn the music up really loud. (Although we don't think that Andrew is as big a fan of the Prodigy as the Crush ladies seem to be.) The Motiv 8 edit, while not as instantly grabbable as its radio counterpart, is pretty endearing, too, thanks in large part to a disco-trashy piano breakdown that's lifted straight out of "100% Pure Love."

Crush - Jellyhead (Radio Edit) [MP3, link expired]
Crush - Jellyhead (Motiv 8's Pumphouse 7" Edit) [MP3, link expired]

Time for another installment of the Coulda-Shoulda-Woulda Files, where we raid our cassingle collection in search of a lost gem.

Artist: Neneh Cherry
Song: Homebrew, 1992
What happened: After the success of 1989's Raw Like Sushi, Cherry took her time crafting a follow-up, and by the time she came back with Homebrew, dance-happy pop fans were too busy with Sir Mix-A-Lot and TLC to notice.
Why it should have been a hit: Even though there's nothing here to compete with the mighty "Buffalo Stance," the guest-heavy Homebrew (which featured cameos from Michael Stipe and Gangstarr's Guru) didn't deserve to nosedive so quickly: "Move With Me" is a dreamy slow jam, while "Money Love"
would have been a hit for Rhythm Nation-era Janet Jackson.

Neneh Cherry - Money Love [MP3, link expired]
Neneh Cherry - Move With Me [MP3, link expired]

Artist: The Lollipop Shoppe
Album: "You Must Be A Witch," 1968
What happened: Formed in 1965, these garage rockers initially dubbed themselves The Weeds, but their manager, British DJ Lord Tim Hudson, mandated the band's name change to the Lollipop Shoppe in 1967. The band released "Witch" as its debut single in 1968; the song and the Shoppe's full-length, Just Colour, both had a lackluster performance on the charts. The Lollipop Shoppe hung up its "Closed" sign in 1969, and Fred Cole, who handled vocal duties, went on to be in the recently retired Dead Moon.
Why it should have been a hit: The Lollipop Shoppe's psyched-out sludge wasn't really in tune with their candy-sweet name, unless you're thinking of a lollipop that was dropped on the ground and left out in the sun for a few days. "You Must Be A Witch," which was collected on the first Nuggets box, is pure fire, thanks to Cole's scorching vocal performance and guitars that sound as if they've been freshly dredged from a toxic swamp.

The Lollipop Shoppe - You Must Be A Witch [MP3, link expired]

Artist: Fiona Apple
Album: "Tymps (The Sick In The Head Song)," 2005
What happened: After lengthy delays, total makeovers, apples-to-the-corporate-office campaigns, and a Yankee Hotel Foxtrot-esque Internet leak, Fiona Apple's third album, Extraordinary Machine, came out in October 2005. Despite the waves of advance publicity thanks to its backstory—not to mention critical raves from a wide swath of music writers—Machine stiffed in the stores, and none of the four singles Apple's label, Epic, released hit the radio charts.
Why it should have been a hit: "Tymps" wasn't one of the four Epic-selected singles, but it's hard not to think that it would have been a better introduction to Machine than the label's picks; its plonking keyboard line and Apple's hypersyllabic lyrics are accompanied by handclaps at one point, for crying out loud. That playfulness probably would have endeared potential listeners to Machine's charms more than the downtempo "Parting Gift" and "O' Sailor," which Epic chose to lead off the album's promotion with instead.

Fiona Apple - Tymps (The Sick In The Head Song) [MP3, link expired]

Time for yet another installment of the Coulda-Shoulda-Woulda Files, where we blow the dust off of a forgotten favorite and give its lack of chart success a once-over.

Artist: The Wannadies
Album: Yeah, 1999
What happened: if the long-running Swedish outfit the Wannadies are known for anything stateside, it's for "You And Me Song," a wisftul power-pop anthem that appeared in 1996's Romeo + Juliet. After that song became a mid-sized college-radio hit, their back-catalog was condensed for a U.S. release, and Ric Ocasek was brought on board to produce the wannabe breakthrough album Yeah; alas, thanks to numerous label problems, the album didn't even get released here until 2000.
Why it should have been a hit: Ocasek's slicked-up production here adds chunky guitar riffs and effects pedals, essentially turning the Wannadies into a hard-rock twee-pop band. And while they'll probably never have a large U.S. following, tracks like "Big Fan" and "Yeah" no doubt sound amazing at those outdoor European festivals.

The Wannadies - Yeah [MP3, link expired]
The Wannadies - Big Fan [MP3, link expired]
The Wannadies - You And Me Song [MP3, link expired]
The Wannadies [Official Site]

Artist: The Sugarplastic
Album: Bang, The Earth Is Round, 1996
What happened: The Sugarplastic were signed to DGC in the mid-'90s, during that label's post-Nirvana flush, and Bang came out in 1996. The singsongy "Polly Brown" was released as Bang's first radio track, but it didn't stick in programmers' minds, and the band landed in corporate-induced limbo. Eventually, they negotiated themselves out of their contract; they released their follow-up album three years later, and they're still pumping out brainy, meandering pop. (They've even launched their own singles club.)
Why it should have been a hit: Bang is, no lie, one of the greatest 99-cent bin finds we've ever scored, and it can probably be one of yours, too, since every promo copy was seemingly sent out to used-CD emporiums for extra burrito money. It's full of can't-miss hooks and just-off-kilter guitar chimes. Really, we'd post the whole thing if we could; we're still stunned that so many music writers completely slept on it, since it seems tailor-made for their pure pop sensibilities. Maybe it was the king-throwing-a-tantrum cover art?

The Sugarplastic - Another Myself [MP3, link expired]
The Sugarplastic - Don't Sleep [MP3, link expired]
The Sugarplastic - Polly Brown [MP3, link expired]
The Sugarplastic [Official site]

Artist: Drop Nineteens
Song: "Angel," 1992
What happened: This Boston band's first full-length, Delaware, came out in 1992; it was full of just enough blissed-out guitar fuzz to garner the band more than a few fans on the other side of the Atlantic, as well as a Peel Session. Ode-to-Ms.-Ryder "Winona" was the first single from Revolver, and it achieved minor radio success; the band, after going through some personnel changes, put out a second album before calling it quits in 1995.
Why it should have been a hit: Sure, it predated the "let's have the alt-rock bands cover the '80s" trend by a good decade, but why wasn't "Angel" a single? The washed-out vocals and pealing guitar freak-out at the end gave a dreary, yet beautiful spin to the pepped-up Madonna track, and its glancing resemblance to the original would have at least made some of the more casual radio listeners out there do a double-take.

Drop Nineteens - Angel [MP3, link expired]
Drop Nineteens - Winona [MP3, link expired]

Time for yet another installment of the Coulda-Shoulda-Woulda Files, where we blow the dust off of a forgotten favorite and give its lack of chart success a once-over.

Artist: Drugstore
Song: "Say Hello," 1998
What happened: The dreamy British band Drugstore released its second album, White Magic For Lovers, in 1998; it had walls of guitars and circus-tent flourishes, with the smoke-wisp voice of lead singer/bassist Isabel Monteiro leading the way. "El President," the album's lead single, gained the band some notoriety because of its stridently anti-Pinochet lyrics; the vocal turn by Radiohead's Thom Yorke helped it land on the UK's singles chart.
Why it should have been a hit: "Say Hello," which opens White Magic, is a clarion call to cast-offs, complete with a pealing harmonica that gives way to a blast of mariachi horns; while it doesn't quite reach the cello-driven heights of "El President," its rally-the-freaks moxie gets us right in the part of our hearts that still wears Doc Martens.

Drugstore - Say Hello [MP3, link expired]
Drugstore featuring Thom Yorke - El President [MP3, link expired]
Drugstore [MySpace fan site]

Artist: JC Chasez
Song: "Until Yesterday," 2006
What happened: Co-written by Chasez's ex-boybandmate Justin Timberlake, "Until Yesterday" made crowds at Timberlake's club shows earlier this fall go absolutely crazy. We first heard—and went bananas for—the song a few weeks later; in October, it was released as a digital single, and it went to radio last month. Alas, it hasn't done much, aside from inspiring fervent reviews from Chasez's iTunes-enabled fans.
Why it should have been a hit: All those raves that we had for "Until Yesterday" in September? We're sticking by them. This song is just an over-the-top masterpiece, and it gets us singing along—clunky lyrics and all—every time we replay it. We're looking at the Billboard Hot 100 right now, and we can count at least five songs in the top 10 that can't hold this track's jock. Can't Justin help his pal out somehow? You know, for the holidays and all?

JC Chasez - Until Yesterday [MP3, link expired]
JC Chasez [MySpace]

Artist: Divinyls
Song: "Make Out Alright," 1991
What happened: Divinyls' self-titled album and fifth overall contained the monster success "I Touch Myself"; that song hit No. 4 on the Billboard Hot 100 and guaranteed the band placement on every '90s-retrospective special ever. "Make Out Alright," which led off the record, was the follow-up to "Touch," but it only managed to garner just enough radio airplay to crack the lower echelons of Billboard's Modern Rock Tracks chart.
Why it should have been a hit: Sure, the title of "Make Out Alright" alludes to an act that isn't as down-and-dirty as the single that preceded it, but the song itself is still saucy, with Amphlett's cigarette-smoky voice and a Hammond organ leading the way. Divinyls was, in a way, a victim of its own success in the States; while "I Touch Myself" resulted in the band getting notice, it overshadowed the rest of the album's solid, sultry rock.

Divinyls - Make Out Alright [MP3, link expired]

Artist: Bernard Butler
Song: "Not Alone," 1998
What happened: After guitarist Bernard Butler left Suede in 1994, he teamed up with the UK soul singer David McAlmont, then had a brief stint with The Verve. Butler released his first solo album, People Move On, in 1998; "Not Alone" was the second single from People, but it barely made a dent on British radio, peaking at No. 27 on the UK chart.
Why it should have been a hit: The I-will-survive anthem "Not Alone" is an overstuffed, grandiose song, from its opening orchestral swells to the string flourishes on its chorus, although we're a little suspicious of Butler's defiant lyrical claim that all he needs is an electric guitar; surely a stripped-down version of this wall-of-sound gem—it even has handclaps!—wouldn't pack the same punch.

Bernard Butler - Not Alone [MP3, link expired]
the bernard butler website [Official site]

Artist: Ima Robot
Song: "Dynomite," 2003
What happened: L.A. outfit Ima Robot, which featured the stick-thin Alex Ebert on frontman duties and noted session man Joey Waronker on drums, put out its first full-length in 2003, with "Dynomite" as its lead single. Alas, the song didn't really break through outside of a few MTV2-interstitial uses, and its Roman Coppola-directed video, which turns a cramped club into a Sid and Marty Krofft-worthy landscape, was relegated to video channels' darkest hours.
Why it should have been a hit: Listening to the hyperactive "Dynomite" is sort of like going into a two-minute sugar coma: It has a ping-ponging bassline and a guitar sound that can only be described as "sproinging." It also remains pretty much the only song in Ima Robot's catalog that successfully uses Ebert's gasping vocal style to an end that is thrilling, instead of ultimately grating.

Ima Robot - Dynomite [MP3, link expired]
Ima Robot [Dynomite]

Cypress Hill and Sonic Youth - I Love You Mary Jane [MP3, link expired]
Slayer and Atari Teenage Riot - No Remorse (I Wanna Die) [MP3, link expired]

Artist: My Life Story
Song: "Strumpet," 1996
What happened: The Golden Mile was this British outfit's second album, and it was full of pomp and orchestral flourish. Bandleader Jake Shillingford fronted the 12-piece outfit, and his foppish, saucy lyrics were backed by outlandish orchestrations. My Life Story had a measure of success in the UK, racking up a couple of top-40 singles and touring with the likes of Blur and Pulp, but they proved to be just a bit too "British" for American audiences. My Life Story broke up in late 2000, but they're playing a one-off reunion show next week.
Why it should have been a hit: "Strumpet," with its withering lyrics about faded beauty and here-and-there horn flourishes, hits our indulgent-pop sweet spot like that; its undeniable power is only enhanced by the fact that it eschews a guitar solo, instead using a choir to provide a mid-song break of instantly memorable "bop-bop-bop"s.

My Life Story - Strumpet [MP3, link expired]
My Life Story [MySpace]

Artist: The Pulsars
Song: "Suffocation," 1997
What happened: The Pulsars, made up of brothers Dave and Harry Trumfio, released a few EPs in the early '90s before getting signed to Herb Alpert's Almo Records. The fizzy Pulsars was their debut full-length, and it contained both a tribute song to the Silicon Teens and a few trumpet licks from Alpert himself. But their long-rumored second album was never released; Dave Trumfio still runs Kingsize Soundlabs, which moved from Chicago to Los Angeles a few years ago.
Why it should have been a hit: With its handclaps, "ooh-ahh" backing vocals, and longing lyrics, "Suffocation" should have been catnip for lovelorn music lovers, or at least for the Weezer fans who the Pulsars played to in '97. But the Pulsars got lost in the late '90s' modern-rock shuffle, resulting in their New Wave ways being treasured by only a handful of synth-pop diehards.

The Pulsars - Suffocation [MP3, link expired]
BONUS TRACK: The Pulsars - Tunnel Song [MP3, link expired]
the pulsars [MySpace]

Artist: Idlewild
Song: "American English," 2002
What happened: "American English" was on this Scottish band's pretty decent fourth album, The Remote Part. The song peaked at No. 15 on the UK singles chart, but The Remote Part on the whole barely made a dent in the States, despite the band's opening slot for Pearl Jam on the Riot Act tour.
Why it should have been a hit: The slow build, the chiming guitars, the lighter-worthy chorus—why was "American English" not pegged to score a climactic love scene on some WB show? We're guessing that the allergy to British rock bands on this side of the pond got in the way of this song's success—not to mention that its lyrics about "contracting the American dream" probably confused patriotically skittish radio programmers.

Idlewild - American English [MP3, link expired]
Idlewild [Official site]

Time to comb through our archives for another installment of the Coulda-Shoulda-Woulda files, where we give an unfairly neglected artist their due.

Artist: Aveo
Song: "To The End Of This Dull Continent," 2001
What happened: This Seattle trio's debut album, Bridge to the Northern Lights, came out in 2001; lead singer William Wilson's wail, at its best moments, recalled Morrissey, while his echoing guitars reminded us of Built To Spill's most expansive, beautiful moments. They released the follow-up album Battery in 2004, and it was full of more bittersweet gems. But they apepar to be MIA now; they haven't touched their MySpace page in over a year, and their official site's domain name has been bought out by a domain reseller.
Why it should have been a hit: "To The End" is a fine piece of millennium-flip rock—its driving drums and Wilson's impassioned vocals give it a compulsively listenable quality, and the rest of Aveo's catalog is just as wonderful. If they are dormant—and all signs appear to point in that direction—we're really bummed that they didn't get the recognition they deserved.

Aveo - To The End Of This Dull Continent [MP3, link removed]
Aveo [Barsuk]

Artist: Eggstone
Song: "The Dog," 1994
What happened: The Swedish trio Eggstone formed in 1986, and their first U.S. release, Somersault, was released by the BMG-distributed Critique records eight years later; it was stuffed with blindingly bright, hummable-from-first-listen pop songs.
Why it should have been a hit: "The Dog" has a massive chorus and quirky "wish I was a pup" lyrics—it even had a totally goofy video, which could normally guarantee at least a few modern-rock radio spins in the Alternative Nation days. Alas, "The Dog" only recieved a few plays on the college radio circuit—but Eggstone still garners much love from indiepop devotees, and Somersault, 12 years after its release, ranks as one of the best used-bin finds (we got our copy for $1.99) out there.

Eggstone - The Dog [MP3, link expired]
e g g s t o n e [hem.passagen.se]

Artist: The Shivvers
Song: "Teenline," 1980
What happened: Milwaukee teen Jill Kossoris hooked up with some fellow powerpop devotees in the late '70s, and the group they formed—the Shivvers—started off by practicing cover songs in her parents' basement. Kossoris penned the ode to phone-chat love "Teenline" in 1980, and it was the A-side of their lone single; the band gigged around Wisconsin, opening for the Shoes and the Stooges, before breaking up a few years later.
Why it should have been a hit: We've played "Teenline" for many friends of ours, and they all have the same reaction: "Where did you find this?!" It's about as bright a pop gem as you can find, from its instantly hummable guitar opening to the piano-fueled coda that closes it out. Thankfully, the band's hooky songs haven't been lost to the used-vinyl dustbins—the tireless pop archivers at Hyped2Death have collected their entire output, including performance videos from local TV shows.

The Shivvers - Teenline [MP3, link expired]
SHIVVERS - TEENLINE [YouTube]
The SHIVVERS -(lost hits...) [hyped2death.com]

Artist:Jellyfish
Album: Spilt Milk, 1993
What happened: This Bay Area band lost two members between the releases of its first and second albums, but the songwriting duo of Andy Sturmer and Roger Manning remained intact. Spilt Milk, the band's sophomore effort, tricked out Sturmer and Manning's instantly memorable melodies with over-the-top orchestration and Queen-recalling choirs; the band split up, though, shortly after Spilt Milk's release, due in part to simmering tensions between the two songwriters.
Why it should have been a hit: Spilt Milk was ridiculous, grandiose, and lovely, rolling through genres while staying true to the pop-song ideal. "Joining A Fan Club" was the pick hit off the album, but it didn't catch fire on radio (perhaps the "When You Wish Upon A Star" recall freaked out radio programmers?); the album's closing one-two punch, the power ballad "Too Much, Too Little, Too Late" and the circus-freaky "Brighter Day," still make us want to hit the "repeat" button for the whole damn album.

Jellyfish - Joining A Fan Club [MP3, link expired]
Jellyfish - Too Much, Too Little, Too Late [MP3, link expired]
Jellyfish - Brighter Day [MP3, link expired]
The Jellyfish Homepage [zenandjuice.com]

Artist: Swirl 360
Album: Ask Anybody, 1998
What happened: Swirl 360 was made up of a pair of pretty-boy brothers and a boatload of collaborators, and to hear them tell it, they were high on their label's priority list until corporate politics pushed them down the food chain. The album's one minor hit, the absurdly hooky "Hey Now Now," was penned by the folks who brought you Meredith Brooks' "Bitch"; the full-length can be yours for as low as a penny.
Why it should have been a hit: Rock critics like to throw around the term "perfect pop songs" a lot—heck, we've been guilty of that offense more times than we'd like to admit. The masterminds behind Ask Anybody decided to put that idea to the test, enlisting Fountains Of Wayne's Adam Schlesinger, The Posies' Ken Stringfellow, and The Vaselines' Eugene Kelly to pen some tracks. Did it work? Sort of. Of the four songs offered up by the critical heroes, we like the Schlesinger-written "Stick Around" the best; Stringfellow's contribution, "Ask Anybody," has some great moments, but its chorus teeters on the brink of WB themedom a bit too much for our liking.

Swirl 360 - Stick Around [MP3, link expired]
Swirl 360 - Ask Anybody [MP3, link expired]
Swirl 360 - I'll Take My Chances [MP3, link expired]
Swirl 360 - Slow (Be There) [MP3, link expired]
Swirl 360 - Ask Anybody [Amazon]

Margo Guryan - What Can I Give You? [MP3, link expired]
Margo Guryan [Franklin Castle Records]

Artist: King Adora
Song: "Smoulder"
Album: Vibrate You, 2001
What happened: After releasing a few limited-edition singles and touring around the UK, the glammed-out quartet King Adora was raising eyebrows among Britain's hype-industrial complex—they snagged a Melody Maker cover and the adoration of Radio 1 DJ Steve Lamacq. But once Vibrate You was released by Mercury, things began to founder; the album's first two singles edged their way into the UK charts, but the third was released only online—back in the days before "music blogger buzz" was even a gleam in labels' eyes. Licking their wounds, King Adora signed with an indie and gigged periodically until they finally broke up in 2004.
Why it should have been a hit: "Smoulder" was never released as a single in the UK, but it's hard not to argue that it should have been—it's two minutes of grand gestures and eyelinered moxie, backed by larger-than-life drums. Plus, how can you not have at least some affection for a song that tried to coin the word "sexsational"?

King Adora - Smoulder [MP3, link expired]
King Adora [MySpace]

Artist: Ed Harcourt
Song: "Watching The Sun Come Up"
Album: From Every Sphere, 2003
What happened: British troubadour Harcourt was riding a Mercury Prize nomination, a boatload of adoring press, and breathless comparisons to Rufus Wainwright when his 2001 debut album, Here Be Monsters, came out in the UK. But Monsters' hyper-literate songs of longing didn't quite catch on Stateside, despite the efforts of his label, Capitol. The denser follow-up, From Every Sphere, came out on Astralwerks a year later, and it, too, received a tepid reaction from U.S. listeners.
Why it should have been a hit: "Watching" is an intense, gorgeous track; it starts off with a single piano chord before building into a riotous cacophony—a Moog, a trumpet, and a string section all join the party, while Harcourt's vocals grow more intense and frenzied. Sure, "Watching" is five minutes long, which probably helped doom its possibility for being radio fodder, but Harcourt's hyper-instrumentalization makes every second of the song's length count double.

Ed Harcourt - Watching The Sun Come Up [MP3, link expired]
Ed Harcourt [MySpace]

Artist: Glenn Danzig And The Power And The Fury Orchestra
Song: "You & Me (Less Than Zero)"
Album: Less Than Zero soundtrack, 1987
What happened: The Rick Rubin-produced Zero collection has no shortage of stand-out tunes, from P.E.'s "Bring The Noise" to L.L.'s "Going Back To Cali" to the Bangles' "Hazy Shade Of Winter." With so many high-profile contributions, it's not surprising that Danzig's melodramatic ballad got overlooked, especially since most radio DJs and listeners mostly knew him only as the ex-lead singer of the punk band the Misfits—if they even knew him at all.
Why it should have been a hit: Even though Danzig is one of the more cartoonish frontmen in hard-rock history (a pretty spectacular achievement, especially when you consider some of his peers), the man can sing. "You And Me" sounds like Elvis at his most desperate, and when Danzig's voice is combined with that big string section, you'll find yourself nearly moved to tears by a big-muscled midget.

Glenn Danzig And The Power And The Fury Orchestra - You & Me (Less Than Zero) [MP3, link expired]

Artist: Kenna
Song: "Freetime"
Album: New Sacred Cow, 2003
What happened: Durst, The Neptunes, and a slew of pop stars all went crazy for Kenna after he released the single "Hell Bent" in 2001. But the release date of his debut album, the Chad Hugo-produced New Sacred Cow, was moved back again and again thanks to delays and label shakeups; it finally came out in the summer of '03, with the push for "Freetime" happening shortly after.
Why it should have been a hit: Driven by a crunchy synth and Kenna's wail, "Freetime" was like Gary Numan with a pinch of soul, and it was packaged with a witty bad-day-in-the-life video. But its amalgamation of styles, while thrilling on record, resulted in it not really finding a place in the callout-researched pop world; the clip was spun on MTV2's Subterranean a few times, but it didn't gain traction beyond the late-night hours. Kenna's MySpace page has some new songs that are just as biting and catchy as "Freetime," but the attached blog is full of not-very-veiled references to more label woes.

Kenna - Freetime [MP3, link expired]
Kenna [MySpace]

Artist: Konk
Song: "Konk Party"
Album: The Sound Of Konk compilation, 2004
What happened: For a while there in the early '80s, Konk were a fixture of the downtown-NYC music scene, sharing bills with the likes of Sonic Youth and the Toasters. Many people showed up just to see what these guys looked like: Because they combined English and Latin influences—layering long horn solos over ghost-of-disco dance beats—no one knew what to expect when they walked out on stage. "Konk Party" is just one of many vibrant tracks on the group's Sound Of Konk collection, and it deserves to get played at your next neighborhood block party.
Why it should have been a hit: In its time, "Konk Party" was a hit—it got played non-stop at clubs, and Rough Trade's Geoff Travis licensed the song overseas. But as much as they were revered by DJs and tastemakers, Konk never got a national foothold in those poor-distribution days, and "Konk Party" remains in underground limbo—until now. We hope.

Konk - Konk Party [MP3, link expired]

Artist: Queen
Song: "The Hero"
Album: Flash Gordon, 1980
What happened: We're pretty sure you already know this, but in 1980, British director Mike Hodges made an updated film version of the long-running Flash Gordon comic strip. And because the movie's bright-and-tight wardrobe and hammy dialogue somehow didn't make it campy enough, he hired Queen to compose the soundtrack, resulting in one huge hit ("Flash's Theme") and a bunch of synthed-out instrumentals. But buried toward the end of the album is the closing-theme number "The Hero," a grandiose guitar anthem that could only have been hammered out by Brian May.
Why it should have been a hit: Everything you could want from a Queen song is here: Big, sliding riffs; an overdone orchestra section; and a cameo from Max Von Sydow as Ming The Merciless. It sounds like two classic-rock bands merging as one—Sheer Heart Attack railroaded into In Through The Out Door. Joyfully stupid, in that great Queen style.

Queen - The Hero [MP3, link expired]