Ahoy! We are currently drifting across the vast, expansive ocean in a raft constructed solely of uncanny aphorisms and faux Disney Channel dialogue. Also, this raft may
actually be an airplane, and our captain's got the navigational skills of Buster Bluth ("So the blue is land..."). When last we left the JoBromance crew, Nick was
using the tragic death of Alexis' father as an opportunity to make his move, Alexis was performing her Moog cover (I am nothing if not a JoBromance revisionist) of Emily Osment's eviscerating social anthem "I Don't Think About It," and everyone else was waiting in the ether for the next Disney Channel star cameo. So will emogurl810 steer this ship ashore, or will she let it sink under the weight of its own triviality, leaving us all to perish at the proverbial hands of the sharks, or at the very least gain a
totally hardass story that we can bring out the next time we get drunk off of corn whiskey and want to bring the mood down ("You know the thing about a shark? He's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes, like a doll's eyes.")?
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Idolator
Having taken a 
