The video is the same but the song has changed again. She's got a knack for choosing the most heinous that pop music has to offer, and I can't figure out what that tinny mess of a song is. Again, J. Bro.-themed prizes await whomever can provide the answer.

Joe: *outside*

Ada: did ya talk to her?

Joe: nick did...

Ada: huh???

Joe: i think they're together...

Ada: i like like you Joe

Joe: i think they're together coz i saw the—- whats this you say?

Ada: i love you Joe

Joe: me too...

Ada: we're bf/gf?

Joe: i dunno...im confuzzled...

Ada: hey! that was supposed to be my line...

Joe: wait, it is?

Ada: just kidding! gosh! ur so gullible...*laughs*

Joe: im suposed to be the funny one! *in a funny voice* YOU WILL PAY!

Ada: oohh...*sarcastically* i am SO scared...*laughs and runs away*

~NALEXIS GOES OUT~

Alexis: wow...its all working out perfectly...

Nick: you can say that again...

Alexis: wow...its all working out perfectly..

Nick: i didnt mean it literally...

Alexis: i was just trying to be funny...

Nick: well...u can leave that to Joe and Ada..

Alexis: good point.

Nick:*leans in to kiss Alexis*

Alexis: nuh-uh...u have to catch me first...

Nick: *catches Alexis and kisses her*

~with Lorelai and Kevin~

Kevin: pshh...kids...

Lorelai: im 16 too ya know

Kevin: ur a matured 16 year old...

Lorelai: *pouts*

Kevin: let me guess...ya want to join them...

Lorelai: pretty please with Jonas on top?

Kevin: okay...but YOU have to catch ME! *runs*

~after a while they all rest in the restaurant~

Alexis: i'll just get my iPod guys...

Girls(except Miley and Emily and Hailey): we're going too...

~a minute later~

~Alexis, Lorelai and Ada see Joe, Kevin and Nick kissing random girls~

Lorelai: OH

Ada: MY

Alexis: SWEET

Alexis, Ada and Lorelai: JONAS!

JB: we can explain!

Alexis: and you dont need to...we're gone...

Nick: Alexis...

Ada: Alexis is right...

Joe: Ada...

Lorelai: we're going to our rooms, if anyone need us, which I doubt, we'll be in our rooms...

~a few hours later~

Joe: they have been gone for awhile..

Kevin: we should apologize...

Nick: yeah..

~at their rooms~

Kevin:O

Joe: M

Nick: G!

WHAT HAPPENED? WILL THEY BE EVER FORGIVEN? WHY AM I RUNNING OUT OF QUESTIONS? ooh, banana! WHY AM I SO RANDOM? sorry its a bit short but this one was so long it got cut so...watch out for part 2..

The first bit of dialog is absolutely classic emogurl810—the extreme over-simplification of human interaction, the attempt to mimic Disney Channel preteen banter, the use of "confuzzled," it's all there, and I'm glad to see her playing back-to-basics ball. The only thing that could have made the Joe/Ada conversation better is if she'd ended the line "just kidding! gosh! ur so gullible...*laughs*" with Ada saying "Let's dance!" and then let the whole episode end with a JoBromance dance party. The tone of the conversation really seemed to be heading in that direction, but alas, she chose instead to forge on with this dirge of a narrative.

Perhaps the most interesting thing about this episode is the exchange between Kevin and Lorelai about joining Nick and Alexis. Notice how Kevin refers to Lorelai as a "matured 16 year old," implying a subtle, but apparent objectification, as if she were nothing more than a bottle of wine aged in an oak barrel. And why does she have to ask him permission to join her friends? Does he make her say "pretty please with Jonas on top" when she wants something? These are troubling elements that could foreshadow a tragic domestic abuse storyline down the road. By that point Kevin will have grown a beard and been laid off from the band. He'll sit around the house all day stewing in contempt until he snaps out at Lorelai, claiming that she hasn't been stored at the correct temperature for years, and then who knows what violence will ensue. All I'm saying is keep an eye on them.

I would take issue with the bizarre cliffhanger, but I'm damn intrigued to find out what excuse she's going to come up with to explain the sudden kissing spree. "Watch out for part 2." Thanks for the warning.

(Note: same video, but this time with a morbid, poorly produced piano ballad about dying when you're sixteen. Anyone who can tell me what this song is gets a special JoBromance prize.)

Part 1

Alexis: Jason! I've missed you so much!

Jason: well...you see me on t.v.

Ada: Jason Dolley? ur friends with Jason Dolley?

Lorelai: yeah...he was Alexis' besfriend

Ada: cool...

Alexis: well Jason, we're with Miley, Emily, the Jonas Brothers and our cousin Ada...

Joe:*whispers to Nick* ex-boyfriend?

Nick: i hope not.

kevin and Hailey: come on guys, lets swim!

Emily: but i dont know how to swim...joe, can you teach me?

Joe: uhh...sure...

*they go far away*

Miley: who is she kidding, she's the Best swimmer in the set of Hannah Montana.

Alexis: *looks at Emily and Joe then looks away* come on guys

Jason: so...whats the deal with you and Joe?

Alexis: he likes me, i like him but i also have a crush on a boy but he likes another girl, i think...

Jason: *swims to the others*

Alexis: *sighs* *looks at Emily and Joe*

Nick: dont worry, Joe likes you...

Alexis: if he flirts or kisses Emily, kick his sorry butt for me, k?

Nick: sure...*holds Alexis' hands*

~far away from Nick and Alexis~

Ada: look...*points at Alexis and Nick* they're flirting

Hailey: just dont worry

part 2 will be out later coz onetruemedia wont let me write more... :(

Part 2

Ada: fine...but keep an eye out..

Hailey: sure but Ada...you dont have to keep on pretending forever...you like Joe and ur just making him jealous...

Ada: no...yes...maybe...

Hailey: *pats Ada's shoulder* do the right thing Ada.*leaves*

~with Lorelai and Kevin and Jason~

Lorelai: hey Kev, dont you think we need to help these lost couples, ur the oldest

Kevin: nah...

Lorelai: but Kev—OMG!

Kevin: what? when? where? why?

Lorelai: Joe kissed Emily!

Kevin: when? where? why?

Lorelai: just now!

Kevin: where? why?

Lorelai: there! *points*

Kevin: why?

Lorelai: *almost shouting* why do you ask so many questions?

Kevin: *almost shouting* I dont know.

Jason: wow...weird but perfect couple...

~Nick and Alexis walk up to Joe~

Nick: you blew it big time dude.

Alexis: any explanations?

Joe: she ki—*gets cut off*

Alexis:*rudely* hm...guess not...lets go Nick...

~at the girls room~

Nick: you okay Alexis?

Alexis: yup...just need to write a song to let out my feelings...

*sings and plays her guitar*

I dont think about it

I dont think about it

Misunderstood..

Everybody feels that way sometimes.

oh-oh-ohh

I wish i could fit in with all the rest but I..

Oh-oh-oh

Got my own style

Got my own way

I dont care what people say Yeah! , Cause

I dont think about it

I dont think about it

I dont think about it

being myself there ain't no doubt about it I wont cry any tears

I just live without fear

Im so happy cause im living my life and i dont think about it

A shooting star twinkling across the sky at night

Oh-Oh-Oh

Near or far, i wish that everything would be all right

Oh-Oh-Oh

Got my own dreams

Got my own plans

Gonna get there anyway i can cuz,

I dont think about it

I dont think about it

I dont think about it

being myself there ain't no doubt about it I wont cry any tears

I just live without fear

Im so happy cause im living my life and i dont think about it

Got my own style

Got my own way

I dont care what people say Yeah! , Cuz

I dont think about it

I dont think about it

I dont think about it

being myself there ain't no doubt about it I wont cry any tears

I just live without fear

Im so happy cause im living my life and I dont think about it

I dont think about it

I dont think about it

being myself there ain't no doubt about it I wont cry any tears

I just live without fear

Im so happy cause im living my life and I don't think about it.

Think about it.

Think about it.

Ohh.. i dont want to think about it woahh.. yeahhh..cause im living my life and i dont think about it.

Nick:cool...*sees a teddy bear* you brought your teddy bear?

Alexis: yes and its name is Cuddles...dont tell!

Nick: no prob..i also brought my blanky anyways...

Alexis: blanky?

Nick: my blanket.

Alexis: *in a baby-ish voice* aww...little Nicky has a special blanket...how cute...

Nick: *in a baby-ish voice* aw...princess likes mr.cuddles...how cute...

Alexis: *became quiet*

Nick: what did i say?

Alexis: its just that, that was what my dad used to call me princess and he was murdered...*about to cry*

Nick:oh, im so sorry for bringing that up...*hugs Alexis*

Alexis:*hugs Nick tight and doesnt let go* no, its okay...its just that whenever i hear something that make me remember him, i think that i will never have a complete family...*cries harder*

Nick: its okay Alexis...*rubs Alexis' back*

Joe: *comes in* *sees them* sorry...*leaves*

OMJ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT WILL HAPPEN IN THE NXT EPISODE? WILL EMILY EVER BE GOOD LIKE MILEY? WILL ADA BE JEALOUS OF NALEXIS(NICK AND ALEXIS)? WHAT WILL JOE DO?

~emogurl810~

In case you're wondering, Jason Dolley is apparently the star of a Disney Channel movie called MInutemen, and he appears to be caught in a perpetual gust of wind. It's unclear as to whether emogurl810 has introduced him simply for the pleasure of his windswept presence, or if he'll actually serve some purpose in the future. As of now he's just yet another tertiary character with the ability to appear out of the ether into the JoBromance universe. Realismo mágico never looked so effortless; she's really giving Gabriel García Márquez a run for his money.

This episode is mostly just the usual JoBromance antics: Emily inflicts her daddy issues on everyone else's love lives, Kevin and Lorelai have a tedious dialog that's curiously rooted in the foundations of journalism, and Alexis sings a song about her feelings. At first I thought this was another emogurl810 original because the lyrics are so empty and bizarre, but after a bit of Googling I determined that—believe it or not—it was actually written by a team of professionals and sung by Haley Joel Osment's younger sister.

This song is the absolute epitome of all that is terrifying about the Disney Channel/Hannah Montana culture that has yielded the JoBromance. They're not even feigning substance anymore, they just come out and say it: they don't think about it. It reminds me of the part in Alfonso Cuarón's severely under-appreciated Children of Men where Theo asks his cousin why he's saving the world's great art when in 30 years nobody will even be around to look at it, and his cousin replies "I just try not to think about it" (or something to that effect). It's chilling, and I would argue that the JoBromance is a direct product of a culture dead set on aggressive not-thinking.

OMJ! I just go so serious! Sorry guys. Where were we? Oh yes, Alexis was about to make Nick feel really awkward by casually mentioning the tragic death of her father—a murder, no less! This is what I like about emogurl810: she's not afraid take the JoBromance to the darker corners of existence. Kidnapping, murder, she's got it all; it's like a fucking John Grisham novel up in this place. Maybe my "culture of aggressive not-thinking" tangent was uncalled for after all. Let's just hope she's read enough crappy thriller/mystery novels to know that Nick ought to be the one who killed her father. It's the only suitable direction in which to take the story at this point.

Emily: dont bring ur hopes up with Joe, he's mine.
Alexis: dont worry, i wont.
Ada: Alexis, what are you talking about? Alexis: u know what?, forget it Ada...I'm gonna go unpack in our hotel room... Miley: I'm coming with you!
*they leave*
Kevin: whats up with them?
Lorelai: no idea...
Hailey: hey guys! lest go swimming!
JB: sure, we'll be back...
*with Miley and Alexis*
Miley: so whats up? i heard everything that Emily had to say..
Alexis: *angry tone* nothings up, OK? im just confused...
Miley: okay...change topic...*sees Alexis' guitar* you play guitar?
Alexis: yeah...i write my own songs too...
Miley: can i hear?
Alexis: sure.
Nick:*was about to go in when he hears Alexis play the guitar and decides to hide in the closet*
Alexis: *singing and playing the guitar* *AN: my OWN songs*
hey you, my life is goin great
im not sure i wanna change
is it fair for me to leave you?
or is it too much for you to bear?

i just wanna live a normal life
with no one to stop me
no one to hold on to my dreams
will you be in my future?
i guess not, coz ur here without me

my life is goin short
i dont wanna stay here
waitin' for you all of my life
just make one decision coz im fine
oh, yeah

i just wanna live a normal life
with no one to stop me
no one to hold on to my dreams...
Miley: OMG! that was awesome! why didnt you just put it in a cd and be famous? Alexis: i just wanna live normally but i guess my life isnt normal at all
Miley: yeah! you get to date a Jonas. Alexis: and i get to fight with a Jonas' ex-girlfriend
Miley: oh..yeah...Emily...
Alexis: yeah...she told me to stay away from Joe but he truth is i dont really like Joe...i like Nick...
Nick:*thinks* YAY! SHE LIKES ME! oh...better get out of this closet fast so i could escape *Nick goes out* Alexis: i thought i just heard something or someone go out...
Miley: maybe a mouse?
Alexis: probably...
Miley: come on...lets take a swim in the ocean...
Alexis: sure!
*they get dressed and they go out* Alexis: OMG! i've missed you ______!

OMJ!!!!!!!! who's the guy or girl? WHAT WILL HAPPEN? WILL JEMILY EVER HAPPEN? WILL NICK CONFESS HIS TRUE FEELINGS? even i dont know the answers to those questions...LOL
~emogurl810~

"OMJ!" is now the official inside joke for all six JoBromance readers. I'll start: OMJ! Emily continues to exist as a one-dimensional plot device! And as such she is rapidly dismissed from the scene in favor of Alexis' song, which seems to have been written by a machine that randomly selects lines from the most generic Top 40 pop hits and assembles them into a Radio Disney-friendly mystery loaf. Except for the line "My life is goin' short," which maintains the trademark emogurl810 inappropriate verb usage. Miley's reaction to the song is also a classic element of the emogurl810 canon—breezy misunderstanding of how life actually works: "why didnt you just put it in a cd and be famous?" It's as if Alexis forgot to do something mundane like set the VCR to record Hannah Montana while she was out of the house, rather than neglecting to get a record deal.

It's a mercifully short episode, so there's not much else to say, really. Shall we ponder a moment the unintentional Nick-Jonas-is-in-the-closet joke? Yes, let's. For whatever reason, emogurl810's linguistic limitations always seem to manifest themselves as sex jokes. This could mean a number of things, but in the spirit of generosity I'll just assume she's extraordinarily clueless. Furthermore, she seems to be slacking on the cliffhanger here. "I missed you [blank]!" does not inspire me to read on. I think she should have taken the scene out into the ocean and left us hanging with a potential shark attack, as in "*Kevin feels something hold his foot* WHAT'S HOLDING KEVINS FOOT? IS IT ALEXIS? A NURSE SHARK? OR IS IT JAWS? WILL EMILY STEAL THE SHARK FROM KEVIN?" Or something along those lines.

(Note: still with the Simple Plan song and basically all the same images, but now including a truly inexplicable picture of the actress who plays Ginny Weasley in the Harry Potter movies.)

Ada: Alexis...Nick...
Alexis and Nick: yeah Ada?.
Ada: enough with the drama, now lets get partying!.
Nick:huh?.
Alexis: yeah, for us smartypants, we're low on understanding the words with party in it..
Nick: *sarcastically* haha, very funny Alexis.
Lorelai: oh, did we mention that we're going on a cruise to Hawaii!.
Hailey: and by we, we mean us and the guys!.
Joe: yeah, that okay with you guys? Nick:sure..
Alexis: okay...im gonna go pack now... Joe: is that a yes?.
Alexis: of course it is, you doof.*giggles*.
Joe: hey, im ur doof!.
Alexis: *laughs* bye guys...
Lorelai, Hailey and Ada: yeah...us too...bye..
*they leave*.
Kevin: so...lets get packing... Joe:yeah....
*kevin and joe go to their rooms*.
Nick: this is going to be a messy trip...*AN:by messy, he means full of drama*.
*with the girls*.
Ada:so...girls...what are you bringing? Lorelai: me, my trusty guitar, laptop and clothes.
Hailey: clothes, tons of lipgloss for attracting cute guys, and my phone... Alexis: well, to be honest, my teddy bear, diary, iPod touch, guitar, song book *AN: she writes songs* and clothes... Ada:oookay....im gonna ask ur parents and mine if its okay if we will go..
*after a few minutes*.
Ada:they said okay and Mrs. Jonas said yes too....
Alexis:okay...*sighs* *whispers* this is going to be a long ride....
*at the plane*.
~Joe sits next to Alexis since Alexis wanted to be near the window~.
~Nick sits in the middle of the plane between Ada and Hailey~.
~Lorelai and Kevin sit together~.
*with Alexis and Joe*.
Alexis:*sleeps on Joe's chest*.
*with Nick, Ada, Hailey*.
Ada:*listening to iPod*.
Nick:*whispers* she looks so cute when she sleeps.
Hailey: hey i heard that and i know ur talking about Alexis...you dont have to pretend you like Ada forever..
Nick:if only it were that easy....
Hailey: Listen, if its meant to be, its meant to be...but sometimes you have to do things to make fate happen.
Nick:yeah, like that'll happen.
Hailey: you'll understand sooner or later Nick....
*with Lorelai and Kevin*.
Kevin: Lorelai, i like this girl but she's too young and i dont know if she likes me back ...what should i do?.
Lorelai: tell her and just wait of what will happen....
Kevin: i already told her....
Lorelai: *stops for a while* wait...me? Kevin: yeah....
Lorelai: *blushes* well, i like you too Kevin....
Kevin: so...does this mean we're bf/gf now?.
Lorelai: if you want it to be... Kevin:i want it to be....
Lorelai: then we're bf/gf....
*they arrive*.
*they go out of the plane*.
Alexis: Miley! i cant believe ur here! Ada: yeah!.
Hailey: this is so cool!.
Lorelai: sorry to burst your bubble Miley but Emily is here..
Miley: i know...i gave her a chance but im still keeping an eye in her...she's a boy stealer....
Emily:*walks toward them* oh, hey guys. didnt know you were coming....
Miley: i just told you a while ago... Emily.
: oh, must have forgotten. Ada:*whhispers to Alexis* did you hear that Emily and Joe used to date? Alexis: *whispers back* i know...im keeping an eye on them....
Emily: oh, Alexis...i need to tell you something...
WHAT WILL EMILY TELL? WHAT WILL HAPPEN IN THE NEXT EPISODE? WILL EMILY BE BAD?
~emogurl810~

I love this first bit. It's so casually dismissive of all pre-established tension in the story, and vaguely reminiscent of Rodney Dangerfield's famous last line in Caddyshack, which actually might have even worked better here. As in:

Ada: Alexis...Nick...

Alexis and Nick: yeah Ada?

Ada: enough with the drama, we're all gonna get laid!

But alas, that's not where a JoBromance ends. No, there's a cruise yet to be taken. A curiously last-minute cruise that actually takes place on a plane. A plane full of drama! My favorite in-flight conversation is the following:

Nick:*whispers* she looks so cute when she sleeps
Hailey: hey i heard that and i know ur talking about Alexis...you dont have to pretend you like Ada forever.
Nick:if only it were that easy...
Hailey: Listen, if its meant to be, its meant to be...but sometimes you have to do things to make fate happen

Emogurl810, meet Dictionary.com. As I understand the term, fate is beyond human control, beyond even the efficacious grasp of a Jonas brother, so this advice is a tad misleading. Meanwhile, Kevin and Lorelai have an incredibly boring relationship conversation, establishing their characters as the stable couple that nobody cares about. I've gotten ahead of myself, though. While it's not the destination that's important, it's not the journey either. It's what you pack, and emogurl810 knows this all too well. If there's one thing we can take away from this episode, it's to never leave for a cruise on a plane without lip gloss, otherwise you will NOT attract any guys. Do you hear that tween girls? Boys! Like! Shiny! Lips!

Let's see, what else? Emily shows up again. We haven't seen her since episode 4, when she was kissing "mr. Cody fancypants" and just being the all-around heinous bitch that she is. I want to know more about Emily, really—her villainy, her tendency to forget that she was invited on trips and then to be surprised by the presence of the people who invited her. She seems intriguing. And if I know emogurl810, her affinity for boy-stealing will come into play in episode 8. And then it will be abruptly dismissed in favor of more tickle-centric storylines.

(Note: basically the same video, but thirty seconds longer and with a few more pictures.)

*Alexis karates the person holding her shoulder*
Nick: OW!!!!!!!!! that hurt...
Alexis: oops!!! i thought you were somebody else...come on lets go to my house...*heps Nick walk*
*at Alexis' house*
*nobody was home*
Alexis: you can rest in the couch... Nick: okay... thanks Alexis...
Alexis: it was my fault anyway...no problem...
Nick: you have guitar hero?
Alexis: yeah! i have the highest score in the century!
Nick: or do you? how bout i beat your high score?
Alexis: Bring it!
Nick: *turns on guitar hero*
Alexis: *got high score again*
Nick: Aw...no fair! i let you win! *does the puppy dog face*
Alexis:that wont work on me...
Nick: or does it? *tickles Alexis* Alexis: stop..*laughs* *tickles Nick* Nick: no..*laughs* dont...im ticklish you know...*laughs*
Alexis: i stop *laughs* if you stop...*laughs*...
Nick: Okay..*laughs* i'll stop *laughs* Alexis: me too...Nick, are you okay now? Nick: yeah, but i may have the trauma of tickling...*joking*
Alexis: *giggles* ur such a goof *giggles*
Nick: come on...lets go to my house... Alexis: okay...last one there is a rotten egg...
*they reach the Jonas' residence*
Nick: haha...you're the rotten egg... Alexis: no...we reached the same time, you goof... *giggles*
*they go inside*
Alexis: *sees her sisters and Ada* hi girls...
Nick: hello brothers...
Ada: Alexis...
WHAT WILL SHE SAY? IS IT BAD? WILL SHE GET JEALOUS? SO MANY QUESTIONS... MWAHAHAHAHA....
~emogurl810~

What a letdown on the possible kidnapping story line. It seems as if emogurl810 has hit the narrative equivalent of a cell service dead spot. What's going on here? Did we even need this episode? I suppose that depends on how important you consider tickling to dramatic action. In this case it seems to be an isolated incident of inconsequential giggles, which is all fine and well, but also a waste of our time. Honestly, I thought I was disappointed with episode 3, but this one may take the cake.

(Note: same exact video as the last two episodes. (For shame!))

Ada: I...I...I like you Nick...
Nick: I like you as a friend too Ada, now come on...
Ada: No...what i mean is...I like...like you...not as a friend but more...
Nick: Um...I think i may like you too... Ada: *smiles*
Nick: *fake smiles* now come on lets go...
Ada: *goes down*
Kevin: Nick, Joe, Girls, we gotta go home...we are free for the rest of the summer *note: it was summer time* but i promised your moms that we let you go home at exactly 9:00
Alexis: okay...bye guys...we'll just walk home...coz our home is near yours and your house is near the park...so it'll take us 5 minutes...
Lorelai: smarty pants...less talk, more walk...
Miley: bye guys, i had fun! i'll drive home..*goes home* *NOTE:aw....isnt she sweet?*
Hailey: bye miles!
*they all go home*
*Note: Ada lives with Hailey, Lorelai and Alexis*
*with the Jonas Brothers*
Nick: *sighs* *whispers* what have i gotten myself into...
Kevin: Hey, i heard that, come on tell me, Joe isnt here
Nick: Ada told me that she like me and i told her back but i dont really think i like her the way she likes me...im regretting it ever happened...
Kevin: okay...let me guess...you still like Alexis...
Nick: yes...........
Kevin: sorry bro...i dont know if i can still fix that...just tell me if you have any problems
Nick: thanks Kev...
Joe:*comes in* ah...everything is going my way...
Nick: *whispers* as if...im gonna turn it around...i hope...
*with the girls*
Alexis: *sighs*
Hailey: Why the long face, princess? Alexis: Ada isnt here right?
HAiley: right...
Alexis: good...
Hailey: Whats this all about...
Alexis: i cant choose...i love both Nick and Joe...
Hailey: just follow your heart, princess...
Alexis: tnx angel...but how will Ada react?
Hailey: lets just hope for the best...
* next morning Alexis goes for a jog* *note: this is what she wore*
Alexis- a pink t-shirt with a hoodie and its up to the belly button
-red jogging pants
- vans shoes, apple design

- pink "princess" hat
*on her jog, somebody held her shoulder* WHO HELD HER SHOULDER? KIDNAPPER? ONE OF THE JONAS BROTHERS? ADA? ONE OF HER SISTERS? MILEY? THER COULD BE MANY POSSIBILITIES BUT WHO?
peace out,~emogurl810~

Emogurl810 is tempting the immature humorist in all of us with her peculiar word choice in this tree scene. Either she's being purposefully clever/vulgar, or she's just the victim cluelessness and unfortunate diction (much more likely). Either way, if she wants to avoid creepy people on the Internet (like me) applying deviant overtones to her Jonas Brothers saga, she should definitely reconsider which verb she uses to convey the tree descent.

I also find the line "Nick, Joe, Girls, we gotta go home...we are free for the rest of the summer *note: it was summer time* but i promised your moms that we let you go home at exactly 9:00" slightly disturbing as it implies that the Jonas Brothers are holding these girls hostage. Again, her verb choice ("let you go home" instead of something like "take you home") is painting this narrative in more sinister shades than she perhaps intended.

The middle section of this installment is your basic rigmarole about settlig for second best, not being able to decide which Jonas you love more, etc., etc., topped off by the very sage conclusion "just follow your heart, princess." It's not much to speak of, as it's really just the build-up to the thrilling jogging outfit description, a narrative element I don't think I've see employed in such a manner in any medium. It seems as if Alexis likes to jog in her best sorority-girl-on-a-lunch-break outfit, and furthermore apparently does not believe in quality footware (who jogs in Vans?). What does this say about her character? Why does emogurl810 have such a problem with verb usage ("held" instead of "grabbed" at the end? why?)? All I know is that she's able to casually suggest that one of her main female characters is about to be kidnapped by a Jonas Brother, and for that I will eternally respect her.

(Note: this is the same exact video from the last installment (lazy!), so I won't even bother to comment on it.)

Miley:AH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ! Nick: Huh? What happened? Miley: Its Emily! Emily: *looks at MIley* Miley: Em, why are you kissing mr. Cody fancypants over there? *note: its Cody Linley* *angry* you told me none of us are going to kiss him or like him Emily: *angry* lets go CODY! Kevin: WOAH! i never knew she could be THAT evil. Lorelai: Me neither, i thought she was a nice, sweet girl Alexis: Well...people change... Ada: Hey MIley, want to hang out with us today MIley: OH SURE! why dont you guys come to the park with me today... Joe: thats okay... Hailey: not okay...ITS GREAT! Ada: yeah! Nick: AWESOME! Alexis: SUPER! Lorelai: that would be nice... ___________________

*AT THE PARK*
Nick:*whispers to Ada* Hey, lets make the plan now...
Ada: SUre... *they split up, miley and hailey, kevin and lorelai , joe and alexis* *with miley and hailey*
Hailey: Aww...look at the lovebirds... Miley: Yeah...lets get them together? Hailey: YEAH...first Joe and Alexis.... *Hailey put a rock on front of Alexis, Alexis tripped and Joe caught her*
*with Joe and Alexis*
Alexis: Thanks for catching me Joe.... Joe: *blushes* so...um...are you and your sisters related with Ada?...
Alexis: yeah...*giggles* didnt Hailey tell us that she's getting our cousin? *giggles*
Joe: *laughs* Oh yeah...hehe...i forgot...
Alexis:*laughs*
Joe: *tries to act angry* no one laughs at DJ DANGER! im gonna tickle you! *laughs and tickles Alexis*
Alexis: AH!! *laughs* stop! *laughs* *runs away*
*with Miley and Hailey*
Miley: Mission Accomplished!
Hailey: High 5!
Miley:*they high 5*
Hailey: Now...Kevin and Lorelai...but i know how shy Lorelai can be...
Miley: hm...I'll lead them to the swings...and you break the other swing...got it?
Hailey: Got it!
*Miley goes to Kevin and Lorelai*
Miley: oops, sorry to barge in but this is my place...but there's the swing over there
Lorelai:oh...its okay...come on Kev. Kevin: o-kay...
*with Kevin, Lorelai and Hailey*
Hailey: oops, sorry guys, i broke the other swing...
Kevin: its okay, Lorelai, you sit and i push....okay?
Lorelai: okay...*Lorelai fell of the swing*
Kevin: O my gosh! Lorelai, are you alright?
Lorelai: its okay...just help me up...please?
kevin: *helps her up and accidentally kisses her* OOPS! sorry...*blushes* Lorelai:*blushes* oh...um...hehe...its fine...
*With Miley and Hailey*
Hailey: its a success!
Miley: YAY! now...Nick and Ada...this is gonna be a little hard because Nick has a HUGE crush on Alexis...
Hailey: and Ada has a HUGE crush on Joe...
Miley: Lets make them realize they're perfect 4 each other...
*Nick and Ada were sitting on a tree* Ada: so...what to do?
Nick: WAIT...i'll go down first...
Ada: wait! Nick...I have to tell you something...
Nick: WHAT?!
Ada: I...
WHAT IS ADA SUPPOSED TO SAY? WILL IT INVOLVE THE OTHERS? NICK? JOE? WHO?
note: i just love leaving you guys clueless...im so EVIL..mwahhahaha...
~emogurl810~

Kevin: WOAH! i never knew she could be THAT evil.
Lorelai: Me neither, i thought she was a nice, sweet girl
Alexis: Well...people change...
Ada: Hey MIley, want to hang out with us today
MIley: OH SURE! why dont you guys come to the park with me today...

Despite the emotional depth of the fist scene, the park is where this episode really kicks into high gear. Between Hailey and Miley's matchmaking rampage, and Nick and Ada's scheming to win the hearts of Alexis and Joe, it's a veritable drama cocktail, not to mention the perfect sequence for a montage. Unfortunately that level of editing is far beyond the capabilities of emogurl810, but if it were possible, which song would she use? What with Hailey and Miley's particularly aggressive techniques (forcing Alexis to trip, breaking playground equipment), the first thing that came to mind was the goofy and yet somehow vaguely malicious Benny Hill theme. But then that just seemed a tad too frantic in tone. So I considered how the sequence would look, to steal a joke from some friends, set to Steely Dan's "Reelin' In the Years." A pretty nice fit, though a little too introspective for a light-hearted matchmaking montage. But I was liking the '70s theme, so finally I landed on Fleetwood Mac's excellent, bouncy ode to the mysteries of love, "I Don't Want to Know." One day when this series is made into a Disney movie, that sequence will have to become a reality. Of course it'll have to be Miley Cyrus's cover of the song instead of the original.

Goodness this has gotten off track. Where were we? Oh yes, Miley and Hailey break the swing so that Lorelei will fall off, and Kevin will in turn be forced to help her up off the ground and "accidentally kiss her." I don't know where emogurl810 is from, how old she is, etc., but if she's prone to thinking that kisses happen by accident, I'm afraid she's got a long, disappointing road ahead of her. But that's not even the most endearingly naive statement of the episode. No, that distinction belongs to this unfortunate bit of dialog between Nick and Ada as they sit in a tree trying to figure out how to win Alexis and Joe...or are they exploring another aspect of young love?

*Nick and Ada were sitting on a tree* Ada: so...what to do? Nick: WAIT...i'll go down first... Ada: wait! Nick...I have to tell you something... Nick: WHAT?! Ada: I...

I always knew Nick was was the most generous of the three.

So it seems as if the JoBromance is beginning to tie up its loose ends. Two couples were made in this episode, and if the ending is any indication, a third is on its way. But what of Miley and Hailey? And who's Emily? Is she that girl at the end of the video holding the dog? Answers to these questions and more in Episode 5.

Nick: Its Miley! (authors note: In this series Miley doesnt like Nick, she is just their..lets say, bridge to love, they all become bffs but lets continue the story first )
Kevin: And her back-up dancer!
Joe: She must have done something wrong!
Miley:But babe! I'm just friends with Cody, that was just the kissing scene in Hannah Montana.
Dancer:I cant bare to hear anymore excuses, Miley!
Miley:Ugh! I cant take it anymore!*storms off and sees the JB and the girls*
Nick:Back off, woman!
Miley: But as you can see Nick, i dont like you anymore.
Nick: Oh..sorry...
Joe:Maybe she's after me...*in a karate position*
the girls(except Miley):Oooooooooohhhhhhhhhh....
Miley:course not!
Joe: Oops sorry Miley...
Miley: Its okay..im just so mad! So..you guys are these beautiful girls your girlfriends?
JB:(all at the same time)noooooooooooo....hehe....*they laugh*
Alexis: We didnt introduce ourselves yet..Im Alexis...nice to meet you..
Ada: I'm Ada...
Lorelai: Sup...I'm Lorelai...u can call me Lory
Hailey: Hi I'm Hailey...
Miley: You girls are so pretty!
Girls: thanks you too!
Miley:Thank you!
Girls: ur very nice too...
MIley: you too...
JB: i can see ur getting along...
*they hear a scream from one of the girls*

LOL Who screamed? Is it Miley again? You'll have to find out... Sorry its uber short... ~emogurl810~

Now that we know that Miley is but a mere "bridge to love," and that in the end everyone is BFFs, what incentive do we have to keep reading? It seems emogurl810 had jumped the narrative gun, but perhaps she's just working on a level that transcends traditional story structure. The more puzzling matter at hand is actually the introduction of the Miley Cyrus character. As you may recall, Miley—or at least a picture of Miley—played the role of Hailey in the first episode. So are we to presume that there's actually another actress playing the part of Miley Cyrus? While Miley continues her role as Hailey? Or does the actress playing Hailey just look like Miley Cyrus? The mind boggles.

The only thing I can work out here is that Miley, in a chillingly Britney Spearsesque fashion, is dating her backup dancer, who's none too pleased about her kissing scene with Cody in the Hannah Montana movie. Miley rightly rejects this immature unprofessionalism and storms off into an encounter with the Jo. Bros. and the triplets. From there the story devolves into a series of introductions and face-affirming compliments. This installment is by far the weakest, ending on yet another "who's screaming?" cliffhanger that's neither as exciting or original as last episode's pizza questions.

The video is no improvement, either. This time emogurl810 didn't even bother with the seemingly random text animations ("Good Job!" "Whoa!" etc.). There is a picture of the middle Jonas in a popped-collar purple polo shirt, but it's just not enough to carry the entire video. Plus, who's that girl with the dog at the end? A disappointing turn for the JoBromance. Let's hope episode 4 gets things back on track.

How will Nick react? FIND OUT!!!
Nick: Hey! Hands off her Joe!
Joe: Not my fault Nick....she'll wake up!
Nick:Fine..(whispers)he gets all the girls...hmph...
Kevin:Hey! I heard that.
Nick: so what!
Lorelai: Drama much...
Hailey: Yup! Hey...guys could you drop me off here? I gotta go get my cousin Ada... Kevin:Sure..*stops the car* we'll wait here... *AFTER A FEW MINUTES*
Hailey: Hey Guys! Im back! With Ada!
Ada: Hello!*sits in the very back* Nick:sup...*forced 2 sit at the very back*
Hailey:Oh..now u see that Ada is pretty..haha
Nick:???
Ada:Hailey..u know that my fav jonas bro is Joe...and now Nick is all confuzzled...
Jonas Bros:CONFUZZLED???
*Alexis wakes up*
Alexis, Lorelai, Hailey and Ada: It means confused and puzzled..*looks @ each other and everyone laughs and giggles* Nick:*whispers to Ada*I can help u get Joe, if u help me get Alexis...
Ada: SURE! wait...arent u Alexis' fav Jonas bro?
Nick:*when he hears those words, he smiles*I am?
Ada: like..duh..she thinks ur rowsome
Nick:Whats rowsome?
Ada: It means you rock and ur awesome.... Nick: Hey meet me @ the park tomorrow...we will make a plan... Ada:okay...
*suddenly, they hear a scream from the distance*
???:AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kevin:Whos that?
Lorelai:Who Knows?
Joe: Lets check him out...
Hailey, Alexis and Lorelai: I think he or she is in that store...
Ada:*goes out of the car*come on guys *they all go out and go near the store* Joe: hey its a girl...and a boy... girl:You cant do this! nobody does! boy:but u r so selfish!!!
Nick: I know who that is..she is............
Who is she? Why was she screamimg? Why does Nick know her? Do they like pizza? Do you like pizza? Does Aurora like pizza? HI AURORA!
To be continued...............
(Sorry im so random..i just started thinking of pizza)
~emogurl810~

I've got to be honest here. I stopped trying to figure out the complicated web of interpersonal relations in this story line. It's especially hard to decipher since I can never remember which Jonas brother is which, so the names have virtually no meaning to me. Anyway, I do know that words were exchanged about that hussy Alexis, and on whose shoulder exactly she should be napping.

I have to hand it to emogurl810, though; introducing the Ada character at this point was an inspired move. Considering the limited nature of her prose, her story would have gotten stale without a fresh element such as Ada the scheming cousin. If she ever learns to spell and punctuate, I think she could have a future in teen soap writing. The combo words are a bit much for your average viewer, but I think they probably speak to the 12-16 demographic. That being said, perhaps she should expand her vocabulary to words such as bumfuzzled, which is just as fun (if not more so) than "confuzzled," and is actually a real word (my mom uses it often; she may be the only person in the world keeping that word in circulation). The erratic pizza questions at the very end skew toward Theater of the Absurd, and make me wonder if emogurl810 has been leisure reading Edward Albee plays (seems likely, right?).

Not much happening in the video portion of this episode. Same graphics, but sadly lacking hearts and fireworks. The Simple Plan song is a nice touch, giving a little hat tip to the Jonas Brothers' harder core predecessors, and setting up the teen desperation tone of the story quite nicely. My hope for episode three is that emogurl810 steps up her game on the video. She's got a nice handle on the flow of the story—already she's set up a sneaky park scheming session between Nick and Ada, and introduced us to a potentially horrifying domestic abuse scenario—but this is YouTube. We didn't come just for the good writing.

"A JoBromance" is a series about the fictional love lives of the Jonas Brothers. Their lady friends are represented by pictures of Vanessa Hudgens, Miley Cyrus, and Avril Lavigne, but have fictional character names, and are furthermore representative of the video's creator and her friends (a kind of endearing touch, really). Ashley Tisdale seems to have some sort of unspecified supporting role. In the first episode, the Jonas Brothers roll into town for a concert and meet fraternal twins triplets Alexis, Hailey, and Lorelei. The group hit it off, and, luckily for the girls, the brothers are staying in town for two years to film their movie, GuYzz, which is presumably a sweeping drama about a male strip club. Here's the video and its corresponding text:

THIS IS WHERE THE STORY IS!!!! *comment if you wanna be on my series and tell me ur name* *Alexis, Hailey and Lorelai are fraternal triplets they are 16 years old but they dont look the same(duh! infasize on the word:FRATERNAL).They went on a concert of the Jonas Brothers and they got the first row* Nick:♥sings♥*on stage* OOOHhhh this is an S.O.S dont want a second chance this is the bottom line its true.... *Nick goes down and takes Alexis on the stage and kissed her on the cheek(i would faint if this were real)* *after a few hours of singing and screaming* Alexis:OMG! I cant believe he kissed me! Lorelai:Lucky lucky you Hailey:Hey..lets go to the Autograph booth...we're first in line *they went to the autograph booth* Alexis:Hi! Nick:Hey! Sorry for a while ago...(blushes) Alexis:No prob! Are you staying in town? Nick: Yeah, Me and my Bros are staying here for two years coz we need to film a movie called "GuYzz"(a totally made up movie) Alexis:that should be awesome where do you live? Nick:In here? in Maple street just near here Alexis:us too! Nick: maybe we could hang out sometime(blushes) Alexis:sure! here's my number*gives her number* *while they were talking Joe was staring at Alexis the whole time* Hailey:You like her dont you? Joe:What?...Me?....No Way....(doesn't look at Hailey) Hailey:yes you do i can tell because ur not looking at me straight Joe:Okay I do, so what? she likes Nick and Nick likes her there's nothing I can do about it. Hailey:Try hanging out with her she'll know who is right for her Joe:I'll try....I guess *with Kevin and Lorelai* Lorelai:you play guitar?*thinks*stupid question(blushes) Kevin:yep...hehehe(blushes) Lorelai:so......very awkward huh? Kevin:very.....hey....i was wondering if maybe we could go out sometime... Lorelai:sure! *After a few words of awkwardness* Alexis: I think we should be going... Lorelai and Hailey:yeah.... Joe:we could drive you Kevin:I'll drive! Nick:I'll be in the front seat *when they were at the car Alexis sits next to Joe and Lorelai and Alexis falls asleep in Joe's shoulder* *PHEW!!! it ends right here folks .pls comment to be in the series comment if good or bad.....lol* ~emogurl810~

The video portion of this whole experience certainly leaves something to be desired, but given the creator's apparent age and limited resources, I'll cut her some slack. The heart frames are a throwback to classic teen fandom, and the fireworks graphics lend a much-needed celebratory tone to a generally lacking credit sequence. The generic pop-punky guitar riff is well-chosen, as it matches the overall empty and repetitive tone of the story, which is shakily-written (to say the least), but not without merit. There's a good sense of drama here if you work hard enough to decipher the dialogue through all the colons and ellipses. What's to become of this Nick-Joe-Alexis love triangle? Alexis seems to be the impetus for drama here, what with her possibly misleading tendency to fall asleep on the wrong boy's shoulder. Tune in tomorrow for the next installment, when we find out how Nick will react to this dubious backseat nap session.